By the time he woke up, it was already late in the morning.
He Gu opened his eyes only to feel the warm sunlight heating his face. Then, sensing a heavy arm resting around his waist, he carefully grabbed it and quietly placed it on his own chest before turning to look at the person beside him.
Song Ju Han was deep asleep while his disheveled hair lingered at the side of his face—his long lashes were in the shape of a fan, shadowing over his eye area and the wings of his nose were moving lightly. Being a person who was a quarter Aryan allowed Song Ju Han’s facial features to possess both the profoundness of a Westerner and the mysteriousness of an East Asian. That was indeed a face that could easily make anyone go insane.
Once, He Gu spent a long time deliberating if the reason he liked Song Ju Han so much was due to that face. After all, he was an engineer, he was good at deliberating—and thoroughly enjoyed it. Not only that, he also used all sorts of numeration and hypothesis to strengthen his deliberation.
Later, he came to the conclusion that: even if Song Ju Han did not have the looks, with his family background, talent, enriched experiences and mature interpersonal skills, he could still easily attract anyone. Only a person with Song Ju Han’s class could exude such a noble and magnificent aura from his very bones with no effort and being favored by even the Heavens was surely a bright crown that attracted others to worship him. As for the present He Gu, he could perhaps only resist Song Ju Han’s words or his smile, but when he was younger, it was harder to do so.
Only someone who truly understood Song Ju Han would know that he was highly intelligent and a complete egoist. His understanding of Song Ju Han was perhaps second only to his parents. That was because Song Ju Han never pretended to be a gentleman in front of him, or maybe he felt it was beneath himself to pretend.
He Gu looked at him like that for what seemed like an entire day. But soon, he moved a bit after feeling somewhat tired and stiff from having stayed in the same position for too long.
At that moment, Song Ju Han woke up.
As he yawned, his eyes immediately met He Gu’s eyes. “What time is it?”
“10:30 am.”
Hearing that, Song Ju Han’s eyes suddenly shot open. “Fuck, why haven’t Xiao Song[1]called me yet?!”
Xiao Song was his assistant.
Song Ju Han glanced left and right before he unhappily said, “Where’s my cell phone?”
He Gu got off the bed and went straight into the living room then returned a moment later with Song Ju Han’s cell phone in his hand.
Song Ju Han received the phone, but after seeing that it was dead, he threw it on the blanket and cursed ‘shit‘. “Give me your phone.”
When He Gu passed his phone over, he immediately dialed Xiao Song’s number. “Hello, yes. I’m at He Gu’s place… what happened? It’s fine… since we missed the date, let’s just change it to another day. You can think of an explanation.” With that said, Song Ju Han collapsed back onto the bed.
He Gu, “What’s wrong? Something happened?”
“En,”[2]Song Ju Han grunted in low spirit. “Go make something to eat.”
Once He Gu put his clothes on, he plugged Song Ju Han’s phone in the charger and then went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast.
By the time Song Ju Han finished washing his face and came out, breakfast was already on the table. He sat down and began to eat in silence, completely unaware that He Gu was still busy in the kitchen.
Just as He Gu placed the scrambled eggs down, Song Ju Han was nearly done with his meal. He stretched his hand out, “Bring me my phone.”
As per usual, He Gu took the phone, that could now be turned on and gave it to him.
After Song Ju Han pressed on the screen a couple of seconds, a voice message from WeChat[3] immediately appeared. A very pleasant voice of a woman throwing a tantrum sounded: “Why haven’t you replied to me? I’m so upset.”
“I’ve been busy lately,” Song Ju Han replied emotionlessly as he ate.
He Gu unconsciously tightened his grip on the chopsticks while his Adam’s apple agitatedly moved up and down. He silently lowered his head and ate the rice porridge.
The other two exchanged a few flirtatious words— the woman’s voice was tender and charming; however, Song Ju Han simply wore an expressionless face and said a few words as to deal with her ranting and raving.
After a mouthful of rice porridge, Song Ju Han carelessly asked, “Can you tell whose voice it is?”
He Gu shook his head.
“Oh, I forgot. You don’t particularly listen to songs. Recently, there’s a popular rookie who has been pestering me to write songs for her.”
“Did you sleep with her?” He Gu absent-mindedly asked. In truth, it wasn’t that he didn’t particularly listen to songs— Song Ju Han’s songs, he had already listened to every single one of them countless times. He just didn’t listen to songs by anyone else.
Song Ju Han shook his head and spoke with contempt. “Who knows if she’s clean or not.”
“Then, what are you paying attention to her for,” He Gu casually commented.
“My dad wants to raise her popularity. Her voice may be very unique, but expecting me to write songs for her?” Song Ju Han sneered, “How much does a song I write cost?”
He Gu did not speak.
Song Ju Han looked at He Gu and laughed in a teasing manner. “Anyone who gets close to me always want to get something out of me or fancy something, right?”
“I also fancy something of yours.” He Gu wiped his mouth and looked at him with indifference, “I fancy your looks.”
When Song Ju Han burst into a loud laughter, He Gu also laughed with him.
In Song Ju Han’s eyes, his He Gu was really no different to others—all attracted to his looks, fame and wealth. As for He Gu, he had never explained anything. That was because Song Ju Han only wanted a ‘mutually beneficial’ kind of relationship.
Besides, He Gu’s feelings were only a long-winded and cumbersome joke to Song Ju Han. He certainly did not want to invite trouble or bring humiliation to himself.
Since He Gu didn’t gossip, pester, cling, cause trouble, or oppose him, Song Ju Han would not be fed up with him—unless Song Ju Han got tired of sleeping with him one day. But before that, they should still be able to maintain such a relationship for a while. If they were not fuck buddies anymore, perhaps he would never be able to touch this man in his lifetime again.
After the meal, Song Ju Han made another call; it seemed to be the chauffeur.
When He Gu was done cleaning the kitchen, he turned on his tablet and purchased the latest games, spending over a thousand dollars. Then he started to watch television.
Although the 48″ television that he has at the moment was purchased only two years ago, it was still considered too big for his place. Plus, he was busy with work most of the time, so he hardly turned it on. It was only when Song Ju Han came over would he play the games for a while. In truth, that television had been changed just for Song Ju Han—it wasn’t only the television. As a child, He Gu grew up in a very ordinary household, therefore, his demands for the quality of life were not high. Any high-end items in his place now were definitely prepared for Song Ju Han, who only came over every now and then. Right now, a 65″ television had just been launched into the market. It looked very luxurious, but was too expensive, costing over ¥40,000. Staring at the screen, He Gu contemplated for a while, but in the end, he still placed an order.
Moving just a few fingers, two months’ worth of salary were gone.
He Gu felt sorry, but after thinking about it a bit, he didn’t feel anything since money was earned to be spent and nothing else—spending was to make one happy, and as long as he could see Song Ju Han, he would be happy. Besides, he was single, cut off from others and rarely spent money, even more, it was impossible for him to get married or have a child in the future, so what would he be saving the money for?
Once Song Ju Han was done with his call, he came back and stretched out his waist before lazily lying down on the couch. “He Gu, come massage my head.”
Putting down the tablet, He Gu went to sit beside Song Ju Han and rested his head on his lap before rubbing it with a moderate strength.
Song Ju Han closed his eyes and lightly grunt, looking rather comfortable.
He Gu couldn’t help but to let the corners of his lips rise and, as he looked down, he had the urge to lower his head and kiss that smooth forehead. He quietly asked, “Are you preparing for the concert?”
“En, we’ll try to have less later on. Making money is fine and all, but that involves spending too much time and energy, and it’s tiring.”
Song Ju Han was not only a very talented singer, but also an extremely creative producer—a good-looking singer who could write great songs; there were only a handful of people like that in the Chinese music scene. Many people would rush over to ask him for a song because they knew that being able to sing a song written by Song Ju Han represented that they had a place in the circle.
He Gu gently combed his hands through his hair, “I know you prefer to write songs.”
Song Ju Han snorted and yawned. Suddenly, he remembered something. “Oh, guess who I saw?”
“Who?”
“Your boyfriend from university, he returned from abroad.”
Hearing that, He Gu was stumped for words. His hands froze in place as he tried to conceal his emotions. “Feng Zheng? You know he wasn’t my boyfriend.”
“Oh, what was it then? Fuck buddy?” Song Ju Han laughed, “That’s not right. When we first started, you were still a virgin.”
“I have said it already, we were only friends,” He Gu said dully.
Song Ju Han sat up straight and narrowed his eyes to look at He Gu. “He’s doing quite well now. Once he returned, he started his own enterprise, instead of working at his family’s company. When my company was setting up the production for a new movie, he was the one that came to negotiate. He was rather polite when he saw me, not as impulsive as he was back then… that’s right, he also asked about you.”
“Oh.”
“Aren’t you curious about what he asked?”
Although He Gu shook his head, he felt somewhat distraught. An elegant and handsome face emerged in his mind—if it was not because of Song Ju Han, Feng Zhang and him might have…
“He asked if we were still together.” Song Ju Han picked up his chin and stared at He Gu while taking in a panoramic view of every detail of his expression. “Do you want to guess how I answered him?”
He Gu maintained a flat tone, “It’s not important.”
Song Ju Han laughed, “When I said you were still in my harem, his face actually lit up.”
Frowning, He Gu got up and faced the study room.
But before he could walk away, Song Ju Han grabbed his wrist with a bit of strength and arrogantly said, “What’s wrong? Are you not happy?”
“No, I’m just not interested.”
Song Ju Han got up, pinched his chin and lightly smiled. “Stop pretending. When you heard his name, the expression in your eyes changed. Back then, because we were together, that guy…”
“We’ve never been together, right?” He Gu raised his head and looked at Song Ju Han.
Hearing that, Song Ju Han stared blankly for a moment.
He Gu laughed. He pointed at himself then at Song Ju Han. “The way we are, is not considered being together. Also, I’m not a member of your harem. Do you really want to discuss our relationship? Is it necessary?”
Loosening his hand, Song Ju Han’s tone was also cold. “Not necessary.”
He Gu nodded, “I still have some work to do. You can go play some games first. Let me know if you need anything.”
Without turning his head, He Gu went into the study room. Just as he sat down and let out a breath, he heard the door slam loudly. He sighed heavily and scratched his head.
Was that necessary? He finally came over with much difficulty, what’s the point of waging a war of words with him? After so many years, it was not like he didn’t know what type of person Song Ju Han was.
Feeling slightly annoyed, He Gu grabbed a cigarette that was covered by a diary from the last draw. Song Ju Han wanted to protect his voice, so he had never smoked before nor did he like the smell. However, He Gu frequently worked late into the night, if he didn’t smoke, he wouldn’t be able to hold up. Also, since he had been trying to smoke less, he rarely did so at home. More so, he must not let Song Ju Han find out.
After he took in a puff of smoke, the smell and taste of tobacco flooded his nostrils and poured into his stomach. In truth, he had never liked smoking, however, that kind of rough and primitive stimulation was truly refreshing.
He walked to the window and saw Song Ju Han getting into the car. But, before the chauffeur could close the door for him, he slammed it shut, causing the chauffeur to pull back his hand in fright.
It seems, Ju Han is very upset. He Gu thought that it was quite laughable. Back then, the Song Ju Han who humiliated Feng Zheng and teased him was clearly the victor. No, Song Ju Han would always be the victor—from the moment he was born, it was destined that this man could summon the wind and rain as he pleased.[4]He was always stood at the peak and enjoyed the best things that an ordinary person, who had fought for a lifetime, would never attain—even the slightest.
Therefore, why did Song Ju Han become upset when the past was mentioned?
Perhaps, it was my attitude?
Song Ju Han was used to having others at his beck and call. In his understanding, anyone weaker than him was only suitable to submit and serve. He Gu had always sensibly complied, but occasionally he wasn’t able to control himself—as expected, that provoked Song Ju Han into irritation.
I really shouldn’t have (lost control).
After he finished the stick of cigarette, He Gu returned to his working desk, turned on his computer and began to work. He Gu was an architectural engineer, his workload was complicated and mired with minor details, not to mention the enormous responsibilities. He led a team of nine people in a state-owned enterprise where they had been working strenuously for the last six to seven years. In one year—counting his wage, project bonuses, and year-end bonuses, he could get around five to six hundred thousand.[5] He had done quite well for himself. But, having to stay up late to do overtime when he was close to being thirty years old, was beginning to make him somewhat strained.
Staring at the complicated structure diagram, he felt a bit tired. Suddenly, he remembered Song Ju Han’s words, that were about how he wanted him to start a small business of some sort.
However, he was a very introverted person. He didn’t like to talk or socialize, so he never thought about changing career before. To create a structure from nothing required support from seriously meticulous data and theory. Those were the things that human beings had never stopped learning and practicing over thousands of years—it had already taken shape as a branch of science. As long as he was cautious and professional, he would not make any careless mistakes. He knew it suited him to be in a dull and law-abiding type of job, and also, he knew well that he could not do a job that required creativity. That was because the lesser the change, the safer he felt.
But people could change. Whether it was an active or passive notion—he had actually started to consider a change of career in the last two years. The main reason being that it was too tiring. It wasn’t that he couldn’t bear the hardship, it was because a person would age faster when they were too tired. But, he wasn’t afraid of aging, he was just afraid… afraid that Song Ju Han wouldn’t be able to get hard upon seeing him. As a result, he persistently went to the gym no matter how busy work was—even when he worked overtime until he felt dizzy, he still did not dare to eat a midnight snack.
An engineer who only knew how to use a bit of Dabao[6]moisturizer on his dry skin during winter, braced himself to learn about skin care and wore famous brands that he did not even know how to pronounce—all of those were for Song Ju Han. After working for seven years, he practically did not save much. Unknowingly… it was as if he was living for somebody else.
If he wanted to change career, Song Ju Han would definitely help him out. Song Ju Han was very generous when it came to money. The Land Rover and the apartment within the third ring[7]were given to him by Song Ju Han. He never refused those material things; only when he accepted them would Song Ju Han not suspect anything. He often comforted himself—that was, even if Song Ju Han was selfish when it came to giving anyone love, he did not lose out on too much. He had liked Song Ju Han for ten years, slept with him for six years, and had managed to score a luxury car and an apartment. So, what does he have to complain or grief about? If it had been somebody else, they would have been extremely happy in their dream and woken up with a smile.
—
Translator’s Note:
[1] Xiǎo Sōng 小松: the Sōng here means loose, pine, relaxed. It is different to Sòng Jū Hán 宋居寒, this Sòng is the same Sòng as Sòng dynasty. Don’t get mixed up here. 🙂
[2] en – a groaning sound/nonverbal grunt as an interjection/OK, yeah/what?/interjection indicating approval, appreciation or agreement
[3] WeChat – is a Chinese multi-purpose messaging, social mediaand mobile paymentapp developed by Tencent. It was first released in 2011, and by 2018 it was one of the world’s largest standalone mobile apps by monthly active users.
[4] 要風得風、要雨得雨- Able to summon wind and rain as he pleased meaning: anything he wants, he will get.
[5] Five to six hundred thousand: that is 75k – 90k USD, which is a lot of money for a working class person in China.
[6] Dabao – Beijing Dabao Cosmetics Co., Ltd. develops, produces, sells, and exports herbal cosmetic products in China and internationally. It offers various varieties of skincare, hair care, beauty care, perfume, and clinical series products.
[7]Third ring 三環: In Beijing, rings or roads were built in a loop to the centre of the city, which is where the Forbidden City lies—the closer to the centre, the more expensive the real estates are.