The next day, I sent Kang Zixian to the airport. I thought about his flower-picking of the past and my heart felt uncomfortable. I could not control myself, fiercely held his chin and said. "Tell me, will you be picking foreign flowers outside?"
He smiled at me gently, bowed his head and said some words into my ear which made me blush for a long time.
"You are the only flower in my world."
The next afternoon, after Kang Zixian had flown off to the States, Fei Ge called me over the phone and said that she was at the train station and I drove to pick her up.
Whenever I meet Fei Ge, often she would be lively and always give people an energetic feeling but this time, she actually looked haggard. Probably she did not sleep well because of Fang Yi Heng that nerd.
In the car, we simply summed up the situation then decided to go to school immediately to find out where Principal Yang was staying. First, we had to go to the school to try our luck. Fortunately, I am a police officer, I should be able to, at least, give the principal a little help.
On the way, I thought over and over again and decided to tell Fei Ge about Kang Zixian. "Fei Ge...."
"Huh?"
"Last night, under the Ferris wheel, he told me he could not live without me."
Fei Ge was quiet for a while, then with a sigh, she asked. "Liang Liang, this person.... are you sure he is the right one?"
I pondered for a moment and nodded firmly.
"Sure.....I am sure he likes me and I like him, too."
"Then okay. You like him and he likes you.....that is heaven's destiny. If you like him and he doesn't like you.....that is heaven's joke. Liang Liang, I will not obstruct you. I just wish you will open wide your eyes to look at him carefully. Don't be like me and let the man torture me until I fall apart."
I solemnly nodded. "Okay, Fei Ge, I promise you that I will look hard."
Fei Ge tiredly closed her eyes.
When we reached the school gate, which we had not come for a long time, memories of our absurd but interesting deeds rushed towards us like fresh lively waves. We smiled as we recalled our memories, saw our juvenile innocence in each other's eyes and could not help but feel a sense of loss.
We asked the reception office uncle, the previous thin uncle was no longer around and now this uncle was short and fat. After a brief identity introduction, I tentatively asked whether the principal was in school today. The uncle nodded, pointed to the direction of the laboratory floor in the experimental building. "In the morning, I saw Principal Yang come out to buy breakfast and probably he did not go back last night.....ai"
I and Fei Ge did not miss the indistinctive sigh. Our mood became solemn, with tacit understanding, both of us did not speak and walked quietly towards the laboratory floor.
During the weekend, the campus was particularly quiet and all the way we did not see any student. The experimental building was located in the school most remote area making it very quiet, so quiet that it was disturbing. Many years ago, it had this gray and white look and years later, looking at it again, perhaps it was due to our state of mind......unconsciously, it looked bleak.
Soon we would be seeing the fallen old principal, the elderly who was respected in life and in his twilight years, had to accept from others, the looks of sympathy and regret in their eyes. For an elderly man, this was too cruel.
I and Fei Ge, both of us sometimes had a tacit understanding between us, with heavy hearts and in silence, we walked to the laboratory floor'. We turned to the left and silently walked along the dark corridor to the end where a small room was located.
As we walked nearer to the door, we found the door to the room was half opened. From inside, the familiar, emotional voice of an elderly could be heard. Principal Yang seemed to be talking with someone on the phone in Thai language which we did not understand. He was agitated, probably was in a dispute with the person on the other end and while talking he was crying loudly. Listening to him, it sounded like he was in a hysterical state.
We stood near the opened door, we were stunned. The situation had changed suddenly......people who are at their weakest naturally did not want to be seen especially by the younger generation. Fei Ge waved at me with a hand gesture, her meaning was for us to go back. Today was not the right time. I nodded my head.
Just as we were about to back off, the principal behind the door suddenly talked in Chinese language instead of Thai. His words made me feel as if my feet were filled with lead, unable to move from where I stood.
"Boss Chu, I.....I ask you, why did Pritt say that the police are taking note of me? Why? You had promised me that no one would know......there are traitors? .......What is the use of killing them? ........finished, finished....ah"
"You all ruined me.....ruined me, ah....."
The elderly behind the door shouted, on the verge of collapse, accompanied by cries of desperation. Outside the door, my mind was in a trance, thinking of people who do wicked deeds would be punished, just felt the cruel truth was like a big mouth basin full of blood* (Ferocious mouth of a beast). Taken by surprise, my legs weaken, hurriedly leaned against the wall for support. In a daze, for the moment I could not accept such a terrible truth. Fei Ge also knew something was wrong, her expression showed her puzzlement. She was about to open her mouth when I held up my index finger and gave a 'Shsssh." And then, tilted my head to listen to the old man who was still on phone, furiously shouting. Silently I pulled Fei Ge back and retreated.
The old man's depressed cries gradually faded away. Faintly his many years ago continual advice still echoed in my ear. "He said......Liang Liang, you cannot forever be sitting at the back of a police car for the rest of your life. You have to sit in front......you can do it. The stone had blinded all people's eyes....... Liang Liang, brush off the dust on your body to prove to everyone that you are a piece of gold........"
I felt desolate.
Years later, I had become a piece of gold but you are covered with dust, fallen into the human world's turbid flow.
How can I not sigh?
Coming out of the experimental building, as I stood under the sun, at that moment, I felt my body go cold. The chilly cold traveled from the soles of my feet spread throughout my whole body, the biting cold swallowed the whole of me, I was breathless and my lips slightly trembled.
Fei Ge saw me acting weird, anxiously caught up with me. "Liang Liang, what is it? Damn, what has happened? What did Principal Yang do to make the police take note of him? I am in panic after listening to him."
My heart was in complete chaos and wondered whether I should tell Fei Ge. In my heart, the image of benevolent Principal Yang had collapsed and such downfall for this kind of idol was extremely painful. I did not have the heart to let Fei Ge also experience such pain and could only purse my lips. Like a headless fly, I moved forward. "Don't ask, let's leave quickly."
"Liang Liang, damn, are you going to choke me to death? What had happened? Why is your face so pale, did our old principal commit a crime?"
"Don't show me your dead white face, at least make a sound, okay? I'm so anxious."
Fei Ge asked incessantly. I sat in the car, my hands holding my head rested on the steering wheel, trying to calm down my chaotic mind. Fei Ge sat beside me, stared at me with anxious eyes and was silent for a while. I raised my head, looked straight ahead in front of me and quietly said. "Fei Ge, now I cannot say a word but I can only tell you, the principal is........ in trouble."
When she heard me say those words in such a serious tone, the usual the forever smiling Fei Ge became silent. All along the way, we kept silent, each immersed in endless soul-searching torment.
And I, who knew the truth, obviously felt more painful.
I think, maybe I am the only one in the city who knew 'Brother Loong' was actually the Principal Yang's 'police'. It was truly ironic in the midst of this. Many years ago, when he was still a pure and honest principal, he had guided me during the time I lost my path in life, stood up and unconditionally supported me to join the police force. Many years later, he became my suspect and I could not avoid putting the heavy handcuffs on him.
Should I let him go based on kindness or should I arrest him out of righteousness?
Let him go, I would have a guilty conscience........arrest him, I would also have a guilty conscience.
Maybe God is punishing me, ruthlessly looking at me struggling between the choice of kindness or righteousness, forcing me to make a choice. And regardless of which one I chose, I will be condemned for life. Loyalty and obedience, I can only choose one.
No matter how much I struggled, it was still wrong.
I sent Fei Ge home. As she got out from the car, I called out to her. "Fei Ge."
Fei Ge turned around to look at me, her eyes full of sorrow.
I gripped the steering wheel and asked her. "If someone wants you to choose between righteousness and kindness, what would be your choice?"
Fei Ge gave me a deep look. "Can I not choose?"
I shook my head and gave a wry smile.
Dejectedly I returned home and foolishly sat for a while before I called Li Fang. I asked him whether Haishen Triad's stronghold was in Thailand and that inside the group was there anyone with the surname Chu.
Li Fang was not surprised by my questions. "Yes, their headquarters is in Thailand. These two years, they have tried everything possible to penetrate into this country, mainly because in the gang there is a prominent Chinese boss who is constantly in the limelight. Correct, his surname is Chu.....a sinister man and it is said that he is a smiling tiger*."
(Smiling tiger is a person who looks kind and pleasant on the outside but has a sinister heart.)
"What about the undercover that Interpol sent?"
"Ah? It's not clear. It has been a long time they have not given us news......anyway, this case has been suspended. Our bureau most likely is going to shelf this case."
Dusk embellished sadness in the heart, the distant sunset spread out a rich and brilliant color of blood. I sat in the dusk dim glow for more than an hour as the evening breeze blew. The sound of Principal Yang's cries still echoed in my ears and my mind gradually cleared.
That year, he had advised me to turn back from the path and now the role is reversed. I should stand up and tell him, now is the time to retreat and it is still not too late. Before he does any more irreversible sins, he can still redeem himself.
Once I had thought clearly, I rushed out of the door, jumped into the car and drove towards my old school. I raced to the old school and stopped at the gate. The uncle at the gate stuck out his head, saw me and waved me through. In the car, I grasped the steering wheel, feeling disturbed, panic and guilt, all intertwined in my heart. I would like to persuade the principal to surrender. I had a kind of illusion like I was committing a crime.......rushing to the execution ground would generally be disturbing.
Walking along the dark corridor, I noticed only the room at the end of the corridor had a dim light on. I walked slowly forward with heavy footsteps in deep torment and walking such a short distance had never seemed so long.
I had not even reached the door, an old voice sounded from inside the room, accompanied by slight coughing.
"Is it Liang Liang? Come in."
I walked out from the darkness and saw the skinny man sitting in front of a table in the humble room. He looked haggard, head full of silver hair, sallow face and eyes swollen with deep eye bags showing his tiredness as if he was going to collapse at any time.
He gave me a warm, calm smile, his whole person as if shrouded in tragedy, making people feel emotionally moved.
I gave a bitter cry. "Principal......"
Once I cried out the word, I suddenly found that I did not have the strength to smile anymore and just looked sadly at him.
He nodded and smiled under the light. His eyes flashed with understanding. "Liang Liang, I have been waiting for you. I know you will come."
"This afternoon, I heard Uncle said that you and Ge Fei came by but I did not see you. I already knew......"
I nodded bitterly. 'Probably it was by heavenly fate, I am working on this case."
"So it is heavenly fate." He pursed his lips and nodded. The skeleton-thin principal staggered to stand up, his back was hunched as he walked to the window. Outside the window, it was already dark and the old man's hunched back view gave a sense of distraught.
Behind him, I said. "Principal, I don't understand."
"Liang Liang, even I also don't understand how I came to this point." The principal did not show any agitation like in the afternoon and at this moment his tone was calm and gentle.
"The first half of my life, I lead a life of difficulty, wandering about in Thailand during the time the Chinese were being forced out from there. Life was hard and in order to support my wife and children, I had done a lot of things. With some clever ingenuity on my part, everything I did went smoothly, so.......that is the reason why this gang still wants me."
"The first half of my life was difficult but the second half of my life was spent contently in the school campus. I had thought I could pass the rest of my life like this but did not expect.....and now thinking of it, I reaped what I harvested. The debt from my life's first half is now to be repaid in the second half......I cannot escape, in the end, still cannot escape."
"Principal......" My tears would not stop falling and slid down my cheeks as I looked sadly at the old man.
"Liang Liang, I am not good enough for you to call me 'Principal'. The second half of my life, I had been teaching students and in fact, I am ashamed that I taught them Confucius teachings. Others say that I had taught a lot of students but I did not teach my own son properly for decades and now only I realized.....I am unworthy, ah......"
The old man's voice was full of sorrow as he bowed his head and wiped his tears.
"Don't say this. In my eyes, you are still you and without you, there would not be a Fang Liang Liang, today. And.....and there is still salvation as long as you work with us. There must be a way to help save your son....."
I held my breath as I waited for his response. With his back to me, he was quiet like a statue and then he sighed deeply.
"Liang Liang, it's too late. I am very tired and cannot hold on any longer."
"A person alone.....is very difficult."
"The wood has become a boat* (What is done cannot be undone) and my son should be able to carry on living and it is time I take a rest."
My heart tightened. In his calm and desperate voice tone, I could feel something was not right. I shook my head and cried. "No, it is not too late, really not too late."
Anxiously I rushed to his side. I wanted to persuade the old man but when I reached his side, as I bowed my head and looked down, I was surprised to see the handle of a knife sticking out of his pants pocket. Suddenly my heart stopped beating.
"What do you want to do?" I exclaimed and went up to him with the intention of taking the knife from him. "Do not think of doing it!"
When He saw me reaching for the knife, he quickly stepped back and pulled out the knife from his pocket. "Don't come near, let me die!"
A few strands of white hair drooped onto his forehead, revealing a trace of frustration, his emotions were out of control and his eyes showed red veins. Brandishing the knife, he said. "Don't come near me!"
Just as he raised his hand to his neck and as the knife was about to touch his soft skin, I rushed forward to grab his hand without hesitation. I tried to pull the knife away from him with great effort.
"No, Principal! Give me the knife......give me the knife!"
"No!"
For a person who was desperate to die, his strength was particularly great. Once determined to die, he was completely irrational. His cold, desperate look made my heart suddenly jumped. The sharp knife glowed in the deathly cold light thrown in from the light outside. Seeing a vivid life was about to seek the relief of death and in my life, I had never felt such danger before.