When Kang Zixian found me, I was squatting at a corner by the side of the square, eating an ice cream, idling my time away, watching a fashionable teenager skateboarding. There were a lot of people coming and going in the square. The teenager was shuttling like the wind, flying smartly into the air and landing with confidence and ease. Flying like the wind, free and easy and behind him, his companion giving him shouts of encouragement and applause.
I just squatted, quietly watching them and focused my attention on the ice cream in my hand.
When Kang Zixian walked up to me, I only lifted my head and looked at him then continued to squat and enjoy the wonderful show in the distance.
In the bustling prosperous square, the two of us, one standing and one squatting, we were not totally immersed in the noisy grid.
A titillating night, we were just staying quietly at the side as an audience and I had to admit that with someone at my side to accompany me, the feeling was really good. That feeling was like the chocolate ice cream in my hand, just as sweet, which I wanted to eat in one mouthful.
I put the last bite of the sweet stuff into my mouth and patted my hands to stand up. But probably because I had squatted for too long and for a moment, I could not get up.
"Ai, pull me up." I reached up to the person beside me for help.
Kang Zixian's generous, dry, big hands pulled me up. My sticky hands touched his but his brows did not wrinkled. As I stood up, I used my hands to massage my legs to ease the numbness when he pulled my hands towards him. From his suit pocket, he took out a handkerchief and just like treating a child, he slowly wiped my hands.
Under the multi-colored lights of the night sky, I stared at the serious face of the man in front of me. With his head slightly bowed, he carefully wiped my hand, finger by finger and I could only feel the chocolate sweetness in my mouth spread, feeling happiness in my heart.
Silently I looked at Kang Zixian and he noticed that I was staring at him. He raised his head, gently looked back at me with a faint smiled and asked. "What is the matter?"
I thought for a while, tilted my head and asked. "Do you know what I want to call you now?"
He did not speak and his eyes were filled with expectation.
Seriously and frankly, I said softly to him. "I really want to call you......Father."
Kang Zixian who was originally full of expectation displayed a fallen face. "Don't even think of it."
I smiled mischievously. "I'm telling you the truth. Just now, you looked like a loving father."
Kang Zixian smiled slightly as he looked at me talked nonsense. Suddenly his finger pointed to the corner of my mouth and said. "There is something at the corner of your mouth."
The next moment, I subconsciously cried. "Ah."
And with the speed of lightning, he had already bent over. When my eyes widen in surprise, his hot, humid lips had landed on my mouth and he had also tasted my lips. He whispered into my ear. "Peanuts and chocolate flavor."
"You.....you.....this is broad daylight, you, you actually......." My hands shook as I looked at his presumptuous face, slightly shy and with dread. I swept my eyes around and it seems that no one had noticed us.
Kang Zixian lifted his eyebrows. "Now, do you still want to call me, father?"
I shook my head like a rattle-drum, angrily snapped. "What loving father......more like an animal."
He nodded his head, suddenly he smiled and whispered into my ear. "Thank you for the praise."
My face flushed red, I angrily glared at him. Squaring my shoulders, I turned around and did not look at him. Feeling frustrated, I threw him a sentence but with a lack of confidence. "We agreed. This is one of the three."
The man beside me pulled at the tie around his neck, with the wind blowing his hair into disarray, suddenly he looked like a yuppie to me.
He pulled me towards him like a chicken, with his left hand on my shoulder. In a relaxed tone, with his face towards the night scene, he gave a long sigh. "Ai.....to be frank, I have no mood to kiss you."
I smiled. To get such an answer was unexpected. Actually, I had wanted to repay my debt albeit reluctantly as I did not want to owe him for any of his favors. It was good now that he did not want his payment but I felt a little disheartened which is really strange......
Standing so close to the man, I could smell his familiar perfume. His hand that was resting on my shoulder was holding me in a tight grip. I had wanted to turn away but this would show that I, Fang Liang Liang did not have poise and grace and was affected. I had to endure a belly full of unhappiness and indifferently uttered. "Oh."
I could not help but filtered through my mind what I had seen tonight........the various beauties that had attended the banquet. Unable to control myself, I faintly asked. "Tonight, did you find one that you like?"
As soon as the words tumbled from my mouth, I suddenly bite my tongue. This questioning tone was a bit sourish.......a bit meaningless.
I bowed my head and looked at my toes. I really wanted to tear apart my own mouth which could not hide the mouth of the new era.
Kang Zixian's voice was low and flushed with success. "En, I am interested in one."
Hearing his answer, my heart felt like it was plugged with a small stone. I could not breathe and in my heart, I was thinking that this lecher had tried to get fresh with me a few seconds ago. The next second, he claimed that he had someone in mind and my heart severely despised him. But I still pretended to be light and easy, gave a cry "Oh", and said lightly. "Then congratulations to you. Tonight's beauties, 80% of them are your grandmother's favorite. The old lady had painstakingly prepared for this and fortunately, it was not a wasted effort. Take the girl out on a date as soon as possible, hold her little hand and then make a confession." I pretended to smartly pat his chest, triumphantly said. "Oh, brother, you can do it."
While I was speaking, I did not give him any indication and weaved my body away from his hands. I pulled myself a little distance away and only then could I breathe freely.
Perhaps my actions were really too contrived, Kang Zixian gave me a glance, smiled and he said. "We had held hands......."
His words were filled with a trace of summer night sweetness. I listened with alert ears, my heart cursed, and I decided to leave to go home to sleep.
Unexpectedly he turned his head and asked. "What are the places that you women like to be when you are confessed to?"
At this moment, although my heart seemed to be eroded by acid bubbles I still squeezed out a complete smile. Studying this man's rare serious expression, thinking that this may lead to a wonderful marriage and could be considered that I had done something good, so I still gave it serious thought.
Most probably, every girl in her beautiful dream would have asked herself this question. I had talked with Fei Ge about this topic before and she also liked to dream.....dreamed of Fang Yi Heng that he would write on 8 white volleyballs.....'Jiang Ge Fei, I love you, marry me' and then place these volleyballs on her regular training ground. Then Fei Ge, dancing and gesticulating with joy, with pink bubbles shining in her eyes, said..... Liang Liang, how great will that be. If on a normal day, I find these balls in the pile of ordinary balls, then take a closer look and then turn......Wow, then with him standing behind me.....wow, just like in a TV series and marrying him and be his slave..... I would still be willing! ! ! !
Two years ago, Fei Ge would still have this beautiful dream to deflect the pent-up frustration in her heart. These two years she became more rational and did not mention this anymore since this was impossible to happen.
So I had followed her and abandoned my dream too.
For ordinary girls like me, the glittering Ferris wheel under the stars gave rise to intimate unusual willful thoughts. Except for the blooming purple lavender fields during spring in Provencal, the Ferris wheel where one could hear laughter, was the world's most romantic place. It was so close to the moon and stars in the sky, so close to happiness and would be easy to receive blessings from the sky.
Sometimes when I had time to idle, I would think of Fu Chen. While he confessed to me in a café, at the next table a couple was quarreling and I had always thought that our final dismal outcome was because we did not have a good head start.
I drew circles on the ground with my foot and muttered boringly. "Ferris wheel is good."
My sad voice floated with the wind and when the man heard my answer, he answered. "Oh." Then solemnly said. "Thank you."
My heart was mocking me, the pitfalls in this world were aplenty and I was too easily caught. I had brandished my claws and bared my fangs to resist the fate of being captured and when I was finally tamed by this world, the hunter had already found another new prey. And I even told him how to tame one of my kind.
Criminal psychologists said some people do suffer from Stockholm syndrome.* (victims who love their abusers)
I think I am suffering from the same illness.
This night, Kang Zixian sent me home. I sat in the car boringly looking out of the window at the passing scenery. I thought of myself........ tonight, I had evilly deceived a child. I personally destroyed his trust in me and my heart would never calm down again.
I could not control myself and had to ask the man next to me. "Tell me, have you ever done something that was obviously not right but you cannot avoid not doing it?"
Kang Zixian stopped his car in front of a red light, glanced at me sideways and said. "Everyone has done a few of these things before."
I was interested and asked. "Ai.....tell me, what did you do?"
He held back his words, shook his head and laughed. "I have nothing to say."
Not sparing him, I pestered. "Tell me. Tell me......tonight I did something bad and my mood is not good. Tell me something so that I can comfort myself."
Kang Zixian tilted his head and looked at me who was like a little puppy wagging his tail and begging. He laughed at me, rubbed his hand on my forehead and said. "You're just like a child."
I smiled foolishly, sweetly shouted. "Uncle, tell me a story."
His smile widened, looked at me very gently until the green light lighted up. The car at the back sounded its horn impatiently and only then did he take his eyes off me.
My face unconsciously felt hot.