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The Playboy Meets a Shortstack Catgirl

It seems like the catgirl is in a bit of a pickle.

She emptied the water bottle I gave her, then shouted “Seconds!”

Coming right up.

I took out another water bottle using a magic trick.

When trying to climb the tower, water, food and tents are essential.

But, they can weigh you down.

So, most senior adventurers will use a bag that has magical storage properties. You can fit a whole lot in it.

As a jester, though, I don’t need anything like that.

Using magic tricks, I can pull almost anything out of thin air. There are some restrictions, obviously, but it’s far more convenient than having to carry around a bag.

Sitting opposite the catgirl, I handed her the water bottle which she started glugging straight away.

I’m a little fascinated by her ears, which twitch every time she gulps.

With a flick of my wrist, I produce a rose in my hand and asked her.

“You can call me Dylan. Right now, I’m a sage. Oh lovely beast girl, your fur is so wonderfully fluffy. May I have the pleasure of knowing your name?”

Ended up sounding more like a pickup line. The habits of a jester really do die hard. Am I going to be like this my whole life?

The catgirl looks really happy as she wiped away the water from her mouth.

“Nyaaー! You must have pretty good taste to notice how amazing my fur is, nyaat bad at all!”

“Heh, thanks.”

“As for my name, it’s Nyaannyaanyaa!”

“…Sorry, run that by me one more time.”

“Nyaannyaannyaa!”

“…Okay, and your name?”

“It’s ‘Nyaannyaan’, nyaa!”

“Nyaanyaan, huh? Okay…”

“Nyaa!”

Even for a beast person, that’s a weird name.

Not to mention, even though she’s so short, her breasts are huge. I wonder if they’re as big as Tina’s?

That other shortstack bombshell, Tina, spoke up.

“I’m Tina, a warrior! I’m in a party with Dylan-san!”

“Nyaaice to meet you! The two of you saved my life!”

Haa haa, Nyaanyaan put out both her hands as she bowed to us.

It honestly looked more like a cat stretching.

Her breasts pressed into the ground and protruded out either side of her body. Amazing.

“Nyaannyaan-san, what happened?”

When Tina asked, those cat ears twitched.

“I came looking for my master, who came to conquer the tower all nyaalone. I climbed up to the tenth nyaall on my own, even though I’m only level 15.”

But, Nyaannyaan’s expression darkened.

“I was a little reckless, nyaa. There was a monster that was too strong for me. I ran away as much as I could, but he wouldn’t stop chasing me… I ended up getting lost when I ran away from him, nyaa. I didn’t eat or drink for two whole days, nyaa…”

“It chased you that hard?”

“That right, nyaa! He purrsued me all the way from the tyaanth floor! I couldn’t find the teleportyaation room at all and I lost all my food and water! He might come again if we stay here, nyaa… We have to get outta here, nyaa!”

She jumped up quickly.

But as soon as she did, she began to fall over.

I supported her with my arm.

“You alright?”

“Nyaat really… I’m so hungry…”

“Here, dried meat.”

I pulled three pieces of jerky out of thin air with a trick.

“NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!”

Her ears twitched like crazy as she chowed down. She’s like a real wild child.

Gobbling them up in a moment, she began to stare at me.

“Ahh… You’re a life syaaver…”

It’s not that big of a deal.

“Um, Dylan-san!”

“Oh, what’s up?”

“The monster that was chasing Nyaannyaan-san… Is that it!?”

Looking at where Tina pointed, there was a humanoid monster about 2 meters tall standing from where we came.

It was an undead, rippling with muscles. Its skin is torn in a bunch of places with bones jutting out and half its face looks torn off, what an ugly asshole.

He’s carrying a billhook in his hand.

As it slobbered, it slowly shuffled towards us.

I nodded.

“The Stalker, huh. He’s a pretty tough monster, if you encounter him on the tenth floor or above he’ll chase you until you leave the tower.”

“BYISHYIRYIRYRIRYRIRYIAAAAAAH…!”

The stalker that was only shuffling slowly suddenly dashed towards us.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!?”

“Nyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!?”

“Oh, it’s pretty fast, huh? I get it now. He is pretty scary.”

As it sprinted at us, Tina and Nyaannyaan screamed.

“Let’s run for it Dylan-san let’s escape let’s get out of here!!”

“NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! NYOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

“Oi.”

As the two of them began to flee, I threw several playing cards.

The cards I threw stuck into the stalker’s body, but it kept running.

“Playing cards!? That kind of thing isn’t going to work on him, nyaa!”

Ignoring the cat girl’s shouts, I snapped my fingers.

“Ignition!”

Poof!

The cards that pierced the monster suddenly burst into flames.

“Yep, the undead really do burn well after all.”

It’s still coming, though.

“BYYAAARIYAAAAAAAAAH!!”

“Noooo! Dylan-san do something do something nooooooooooooo!!”

“Nyaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!”

The undead that is now completely on fire is nearly on us. It’s pretty frightening.

Well, this is the easy part, at least.

“Since it’s a little more crispy and brittle now… Alright!”

I spun around and started to dance. The bands of light appeared around me. It’s an amassment of magical energy. Both an intermediary and an enticement for calling spirits.

It was a sylph that came forward to my summons.

――Long time no see, child of man.

The spirit that took the form of a beautiful woman kissed me on the cheek.

“――Huu….”

And breathed once towards the monster.

The fiery undead, bathed in the rush of air from the sylph, collapses on the spot.

Just before reaching me, the stalker had collapsed into ash.

It’s a win.

“All thanks to you, angel of the wind.”

I knelt down before the sylph, kissing the back of her hand.

――Feel free to call on me any time, you cute little jester.

A gentle breeze blew, then she disappeared as quickly as she had arrived.

I’m not a jester anymore, but I guess it’s fine.

“Eh? You… defeated it?”

“Nyaa? You… won?”

The two girls trembling behind me talked at the same time.

I looked back around and threw another card.

It transformed midair into a spotlight, basking me in its shine.

I took my hat and placed it on my chest. Spreading my other arm with a flourish, I bowed to the girls.

“As you can see, it was a big win ♪”

一A moment of silence.

“AMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZING!

“AMYAAAAAAAAAAAAAZING!”

The little warrior and the cat girl cheered together.

Hmph. Running away when you’re supposed to be the tank and hiding behind me when you’re the one who pulled its aggression, should I really forgive these two just because they gave me a cheer?

“As expected of Dylan-san! You beat a strong monster from the tenth floor so easily! And what was that sylph you summoned!? And you seem to be such good friends as well!”

“She’s a regular viewer of mine. She’s one of my best patrons in the spirit world, guess she really likes my dancing.”

“A patron from the spirit world!! What’s with that powerful-sounding term!!”

“Is it bad?”

“It’s enviable!!”

Tina jumped on the spot. Those hills bounced and swayed. Aren’t they heavy? No, wait, do they count as armour?

Next door to the bouncing shortstack warrior, the cat girl sighed in admiration.

“Haa… Bro, you’re amyaazing! Those magic tricks were just as good as the ones the legendary jester Dylan did ba… ck the… nyaa. Huh? By the way, your name was…”

When a woman asks for my name, my body just moves on its own. In other words,

“Dylan Albertini. A pleasure to meet you, lovely lady, have I told you how beautiful your eyes are?”

I drew the cat girl into a one-armed embrace, offering her a yellow rose with my other hand, one that resembled the amber colour of her eyes. A pickup line again, huh?

“Nyaa… Fuyaa….”

Nyaannyaan looked at me in a daze. Her face is bright red and there are tears in her eyes. ‘Should I let this girl go?’ I asked myself, (Hold her tighter) the jester inside me responded. Get out of my head.

Even in her state, Nyaannyaan still took the rose.

“Oh, my mistake. When I see a woman this beautiful, my body just moves on its own.”

I know it’s unavoidable as a side-effect of my current job, but how do I say it, I’m really not a fan of this kind of stuff.

Tina protested next to me.

“What about me! Why doesn’t Dylan-san ever do this kind of thing for me!?”

“Ahh, well when I first met you, y’know, I thought you were just a kid.”

“That’s meaaaaaaaaan!”

Not much I can do even if you say that.

It might have been different if we met at the tower.

Nyaanyaan muttered in a daze.

“Dylan Albertini… The legendyaary jester…”

I answered her back.

“I’m actually a great sage now. Did you know me from somewhere?”

“O-of course, nyaa! I’ve been looking for the jester called Dylan the whole time, nyaa!!”

“For me? You weren’t looking for your ‘master’?”

“Dylan is the one who is going to be my master!!”

Oh, it’s that sort of thing.

You weren’t looking for the master you got separated from, you were looking for a master period.

“Please, nyaa! Let’s make a pyaarty together!”

As she said that, Nyaannyaan jumped to the floor and bowed again.

Just like before, she looks like a cat stretching her back.

To that catgirl though, it must be her sign of showing respect.

Tina and I looked at each other, then back at the catgirl kneeling down. Neither of us can really keep up with the situation.

Now then, what do we do?

Tell me now if the speech pattern I’ve got for Nyaanx2 is too annoying.

Also, I’ve sprinkled a few images from the manga around the previous chapters in lieu of LN art. It’s a pretty cute first chapter.

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