There are significant changes between this chapter and the previous version.
CSWH Chapter 5: My TracksI can never forget the events that happened the day that my mother died.
"Elder brother, is mother still not back yet?"
"That's all Melly has been asking for a while now. It's as I told just now. If they're on schedule, then she's probably around the neighbouring territory to ours. Come on, wait quietly."
Elder brother and I were eagerly waiting for mother's return to the territory from the Capital.
That day was my birthday, and I absolutely wanted my parents to congratulate me, so I threw a tantrum……as a result, for a ceremony that they had to attend, father stayed behind while mother alone came back.
"Ah, I'm sure that's mother……!"
Hearing the mansion suddenly become noisy, I ran towards the entrance.
However, the one there wasn't mother.
Instead, there was a man covered in blood.
"Hurry……call a doctor!"
"Madam! Madam, please get a hold of yourself!"
With loud footsteps, the servants bustled about.
Just what in the world has happened?
"What in the world happened!?"
"We were attacked on the border between the territories……other than me, the guard troop was completely annihilated. Merildsama alone was…and……."
At that moment, the man collapsed.
"Wait a moment……you also have terrible injuries! ……someone! Hurry up and carry him!"
The maid next to the man shouted while wiping the man's blood.
"I am…fine……I'm already fine. More importantly, Merildsama is……"
As he muttered that, a red liquid steadily flowed out from the man's body, dying the floor.
"Please leave the Madam to us."
"I…see……"
While the man let out a long sigh, the entrance once again became noisy.
"The doctors have come!"
"Then, one should go to the Madam! The other, treat this man……!"
"……that will not be necessary."
The one who interrupted the butler, Dasmond's instructions, was the maid who was staying by the collapsed man's side.
"He is no longer……in order not to let his death go to waste, the both of you, hurry up and go to the Madam……"
On her face as she coldly spoke, was the trail of a single tear.
In an instant, the noisy place returned to silence.
However, everyone soon began to noisily get going.
I also suddenly returned to my senses and started moving sluggishly again.
Is mother alright……?
"Madam, Madam! Please get a hold of yourself!"
The servants earnestly shouted.
Amongst them, were the doctors examining mother who was lying in the bed.
"Unfortunately……"
However, the grim-faced doctors said those heartless words.
Stop……!
Don't say it like that!
Hurry, heal mother……!
My screams that I could not voice, fruitlessly echoed in my chest.
However, the screams of my heart did not reach them.
The doctors took one step, and then another, as if to draw back and leave.
"No way……Madam!? Madam……!"
The world froze.
I cannot comprehend it.
No……it was not that I couldn't, but I didn't want to.
Mother has died?
A lie……! Lies, lies lies……!
……I do not really remember what happened after that.
However, even now I think to myself.
Why did mother have to die……!
Having been born into a military family, I had indirectly come to understand life-and-death from a young age.
Though father is strong, he is but a single human being.
Every time he went on a mission, he would tell us that you never know what might happen, indirectly conveying that thought to us.
However, he was by no means being pessimistic. He even said that he was proud to put his life on the line for the country.
In order to protect the country, and the people.
That is the responsibility of a noble, and their duty, he said.
But, why……why did mother pass away?
Did she have to die?
Even though father has continued to accomplish his duties as a noble, for the people to steal mother's life……!
It has nothing to do with whether or not they were bandits.
Because they are also people of this country.
Father has……just for what purpose has he been protecting this country for, I wonder?
Why must nobles protect the citizens!
This world is irrational.
That, I understood.
No……I was made to understand.
I was a tomboy, and through my brother's influence, without learning the proper manners of a noble girl, I would run around the gigantic Anderson home covered in dirt, and climb trees while wearing a dress.
However, my mother who would greet my father with a smile as he came home covered in blood……though she was troubled by my actions, she would always usher me inside with a warm smile.
……I should have spent more time with mother.
If I did embroidery, or more girly things, I'm sure that wish would've been fulfilled.
But after mother died, rather than trying to remember her by doing those things, I chose a completely opposite path.
Leading to my current situation.
After mother's funeral, I cried to the point that my tears dried up.
I cried, and cried……within my gapingly empty heart, the feelings that had dwelled within it for that single instance during the ceremony sprung forth once more.
In short……..anger and hatred.
Desiring to take revenge, I lamented my lack of power.
Cursing the irrationality of reality, I felt ashamed at my helplessness.
That's why I begged my father.
Saying that I wanted him to train me.
Father didn't ask me anything about my reasons.
In exchange, he simply said, "If you want it, then I shall do so strictly".
And from the next day on, I threw myself into training.