Rick's long legs bumped the table as he seated himself next to Christy. "So." He turned to her and gave her his usual half smile. "Katie tells me your parents agreed to release you from the rule that you have to be sixteen before you can date."
"Well, um...ah..." Christy could hardly think. The most awkward thing in the world was just about to happen. Todd was coming back to the booth.
"Katie explained it to me," Rick said confidently, one arm across the top of the booth, the other arm resting on the table. He moved closer to Christy. "Since it's the prom and my senior year and all...and Lance said his dad would pay for a limo for the four of us."
Christy wanted to disappear. She wanted to absolutely vanish.
Todd now stood before them. His expression was a mixture of questioning and confidence, with a pinch of hurt puppy around the eyes. Christy knew that if she gave Todd only the slightest shake of her head, he would walk away and let her have a private conversation with this guy he didn't know who had just made himself at home in their booth.
But Christy didn't want Todd to leave her alone. And she certainly didn't want him to go back and strike up another conversation with Little Miss Overly Helpful at the counter.
With her gaze held steady on Todd, Christy tried to find some kind of calming smile deep inside. She pulled it out, pasted it on her still-numb face, and quickly said, "Hi, Todd. This is Rick. Rick, this is Todd."
Rick abruptly turned and looked at Todd. "Yeah, we met. Bumped into each other earlier."
"Hey, how's it going?" Todd casually slid into the seat across from Rick and Christy, apparently certain that he wasn't interrupting anything important.
Rick stared at Todd, as if expecting him to leave them alone. When Todd didn't move, Christy could see by Rick's expression that he slowly was realizing that Todd and Christy were together and that he was the outsider. Rick pushed himself out of the booth with the same strong, swift motion an athlete would use to do calisthenics.
"I'll see you at church Sunday," Christy said. It was all she could think of at that moment, since Rick's awkward invitation to the prom had been cut off. She hoped with all her might that he wouldn't say anything more about it here or now. Her noncommittal sentence would say something to both guys. To Rick it would say, "I want to talk to you some more." To Todd it would say, "This is just a guy from church. No big deal."
The two guys exchanged a few "cool" phrases, and Rick walked away. He didn't look back at Christy or acknowledge her statement about church on Sunday. The way he was acting it would never appear to Todd that he had been sitting there, trying to invite Christy to the prom. She decided that was good because it wouldn't make things uneasy now with Todd.
Yet it also made her wonder if Rick would just as soon forget the invitation as well. Last Christmas, Christy and Rick had hit an uncomfortable bump in their newly growing relationship. He kissed her in the church parking lot-twice-and Christy had pulled away. The rest of that night Rick ignored her. It was several weeks before they started talking again, and when they did it was like they were starting all over again, like nothing had happened. Neither Rick nor Christy had mentioned the kiss, nor had they kissed again. It was one of those memories Christy buried deep inside since she didn't know what to do with it.
Now the memory was back, sparked by the way Rick was once again ignoring her. He strode across the room and blended in with his group of buddies, pulling a chair up to their table.
Christy still felt as though her heart hadn't begun to beat again.
"I'll call you tomorrow, Christy," Katie said, instantly appearing at their table, giving her a look that said a whole lot more than the five words that came out of her lips. "It was really great to meet you, Todd!" Katie patted him on the shoulder. "I hope to see you again sometime."
Todd smiled and said something about Katie coming up to Newport Beach with Christy someday. She didn't hear the exact words.
She was trying to casually glance over her shoulder. To her surprise, she caught Rick staring at her. He wasn't ignoring her as she'd expected, and he didn't look away when she looked at him.
Neither did she.
Rick gave her a strange look. Was he furious or hurt or jealous? Maybe he was trying to express with his face how deeply he cared about Christy. She couldn't tell. She had never seen that look on him before. And the strangest part was that he wasn't ignoring her as he had in the past. It was all very unsettling.
And what is my face telling him right now? Does he still think I have killer eyes?
Katie gently punched Christy in the arm and said, "And don't forget our little angels in the nursery Sunday." She explained to Todd, "Christy talked me into volunteering to help with the toddler Sunday school class."
"Wait a minute," Christy said, trying hard to pull her full attention back to their booth before either Katie or Todd noticed she'd been staring at Rick. "If I remember correctly, you were the one who talked me into it."
"Whatever," Katie said.
"I'll be there. Don't worry." Christy tried to flash a confident smile at Katie, but she could tell that her friend was reading her like a billboard.
"I'm going," Katie said. "I'll call you tomorrow."
Christy nodded. It was nice to have a friend who could recognize the agony she was in at this moment. Katie exited, saying good-bye to the people from school who'd entered with Rick. They all knew her and waved as she left.
"I guess we probably should get going too," Todd said.
Christy wished there was a way to get out without having to go past Rick. But there was only one door, and Rick and his friends were between them and that door.
Todd led the way, winding through the thin trail between the tables and heading for the door. Christy purposely tugged on the bottom of her sweater and smoothed the back of her capris. Anything to appear preoccupied so she wouldn't have to make eye contact with Rick. She could almost feel him watching her leave with Todd.
What must Rick be thinking right now?
Todd opened the door for Christy. An overly eager high-pitched voice from behind the counter called out, "Good-bye, Todd. Don't forget!"
Todd turned slightly to give a chin-up to the girl behind the counter.
"Don't forget what?" Christy asked. The question gave her the opportunity to look back at Todd and then glance over his shoulder at Rick.
Rick was talking with the guys at his table, leaning over as if telling them a secret. He wasn't watching Christy at all. For some crazy reason, that made her mad. Never mind the fact that she'd been doing the same thing and ignoring him. It just didn't seem right for a guy to ask her to the prom and then ten minutes later ignore her.
"She was reminding me about the free ice cream." Todd seemed so casual about the whole encounter with that irritating girl.
They were only a half a block from the ice cream shop when Christy decided to speak her mind. "Don't guys hate it when girls throw themselves all over them like that?"
"I guess," Todd said with a shrug. He had his hands in his pockets and didn't appear ready to hold hands with Christy at all.
"Todd, she's such a flirt!"
"Some girls are."
"But Todd," Christy argued, picking up steam, "she was so obnoxious in there. And did you see how much makeup she had on? What a cake-face."
Todd abruptly stopped walking. They were standing in front of a Mexican restaurant. Pulling his hands from his pockets, he lifted Christy's chin with his right hand and shot his piercing silver-blue gaze into her eyes. In a voice that shook her and melted her at the same time, he said, "Chris, I want to tell you something, and I don't want you ever to forget it."
His touch on her upturned chin felt gentle yet firm and decisive. All her confused thoughts began to drain through invisible holes in the bottoms of her feet. All that mattered at this moment was Todd and what he was about to say to her.
"God made her face."
Christy blinked and tried to take in the meaning.
"God made her, Chris. God made her face. It hurts me when someone makes fun of something God made."
He let go, but Christy remained frozen in place, trying to put his words together with a returning rush of her emotions.
Then as if adding a PS to his statement, he said, "Don't you see? People look on the outside, but God looks at the heart."
It shook her. All the way to her core, it shook her. How does Todd do that to me? Is he mad at me for what I said?
They started to walk again, side by side, without any words between them. Once they were out of the shopping center and on the quiet tree-lined street, Christy bravely reached over and looped her arm in his.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
Todd took her hand and squeezed it. She felt warm and secure, and all the eager anticipation of this being an enchanted evening returned. It wasn't over yet. They could still stand beneath the jasmine. He could still ask her to the prom.
"Don't ever get too proud to say that to somebody, Christy."
"That I'm sorry?"
"Yeah. Only people with soft hearts say they're sorry. And soft hearts are the only kind of hearts that God can hold in His hand and mold."
"Todd..." Christy drew herself closer to him. She spoke in a delicate, sincere voice. "I honestly don't know what I'd be like if God hadn't brought you into my life. You are like nobody else I've ever known. You will never know how much you mean to me."
Then something she hadn't planned on happened. Her eyes welled with tears that couldn't be held back, and without warning a throaty gasp escaped.
Todd stopped walking and put his arm around her. Gladly burying her face into his chest, Christy sobbed a few more tears then started to laugh. Pulling away, she looked up at a startled Todd.
"Your shirt's already wet, mister." She wiped her damp cheek. "There's no room for my tears."
They both laughed as Christy dried her eyes. Hand in hand, they continued the walk home.
What a stupid little outburst! Why am I so emotional tonight? What is it with all these feelings for Todd and all the confusing feelings I still have for Rick? Am I losing my sanity, or is it normal to be so easily overwhelmed when it comes to guys? Especially guys that I really care about And how do I know how either of these guys really feels about me? I mean, do their thoughts and feelings about me change as quickly?
Then a reassuring thought overtook her: Todd is just as comfortable with my tears as he is with my laughter.
She wanted to tell him that, to try again to somehow express her deepest feelings for him. But if she tried, she felt certain she would start to cry all over again.
"I like holding your hand." Christy hadn't planned to say it, but it seemed the most natural comment at the moment. Everything inside her could go on feeling like a broken-up jigsaw puzzle as long as Todd kept his strong, warm hand wrapped around hers. She could work on putting the puzzle together later, when she was alone. Right now she wanted to be with Todd and not off in the Land of If Only, with all her perplexing thoughts.
"You know what?" Todd said. "I like holding your hand too. I was just thinking what soft hands you have."
Christy gave Todd's hand a squeeze, and they walked on in silence, the pastel sky giving way to dusk.
About a block from Christy's house, Todd said, "I need to be at work by six-thirty tomorrow morning. I should leave as soon as we get back to your house. Hope it's okay if I don't come in."
"Sure. Thanks for the ice cream, and sorry about the tears and everything."
"No need to apologize for your tears, Christy. You know that." He smiled an easygoing Todd smile, and Christy smiled back.
Inside, Christy was beginning to feel a rising wave of nervousness now that they were almost to her front door. If he was going to ask her to his prom, it would be in the next few minutes. That's when she noticed that Todd's hand felt suddenly moist and clammy. Could he be nervous about asking me to the prom? It's not like him to be nervous, but I guess there's always a first time.
Then Christy wondered if maybe it was really her hand that had turned sweaty when she started thinking about the prom again. She willed her emotions to remain calm-to hang in there just a few more minutes. The last thing she wanted to do was go into another one of her emotional outbursts in their last few minutes together.
They were in front of her house, slowly shuffling up the sidewalk together, when Christy stopped precisely under the arched trellis. She picked off a white blossom of the night-blooming jasmine and twirled it beneath her nose.
"Mmmmm. You must love jasmine too," Christy said.
"What?" Todd snapped, looking shocked.
She had never seen him look so startled. Christy laughed at his reaction.
"The jasmine," she said, waving the tiny flower in front of him. "It has a sweet, tropical smell, like those trees you said you liked that grow in Hawaii. By the school you went to."
"Oh, right! The plumeria trees. Yeah, this smells good too. I like the way it's climbing up this thing," he said, admiring the trellis. "It'll be cool when it's covered with..." He paused and said the word as though it were enchanted: "jasmine."
"I know," Christy said dreamily. "Won't it be gorgeous?"
Todd let go of Christy's hand and sat on the top step. He cleared his throat. "You know how I told David that next Saturday is prom night?"
"Yes." This is it! He's going to ask me. Here under the trellis, exactly as I dreamed! This is so perfect!
"I wanted to talk to you about it, but funny thing is, I wasn't sure how to say it." Todd leaned back on his elbows and looked up at Christy.
She felt giddy but tried to look calm as she seated herself next to him on the step. "Just say it, Todd."
"Okay."
Christy waited. She smiled sweetly at Todd, encouraging him to open his heart to her and say the words she was waiting to hear.
"I'm taking a girl from school."
Christy immediately bit the inside of her mouth on both sides to keep from screaming. Her smile remained exactly the way it was before Todd had said the words that shattered her whole world.
"I knew you'd understand and everything, but, I don't know... I guess sometimes girls get their feelings hurt over nothing." Todd tilted his head and waited for her to respond.
She had drawn blood inside her mouth. She could taste it. Quickly swallowing, Christy exercised all the control she could find and asked the first thing that came to mind. "Is it anyone I know?"
"No. I just met her a few weeks ago."
A few weeks ago? And you picked her over me? I can't believe this!
"You'd like her a lot. She's been a Christian longer than I have, and she's unbelievably strong in her walk with the Lord."
Inside, Christy felt as if she'd been shattered into a million pieces, the way a fine china plate would shatter if someone smashed it with a sledgehammer. But she kept smiling.
"It's pretty incredible that she's so tight with God after all she's been through. She was in a car accident last summer. Spent three months in the hospital. She's in a wheelchair. Probably will be the rest of her life."
Pity and envy collided inside Christy. Envy was the stronger of the two. So what? Am I supposed to feel sorry for her? Is that what you feel, Todd? Pity? Or does she mean more to you than I do? How could you possibly want to take someone in a wheelchair to a dance? Why, oh why, do you want to take her instead of me?
With her last pinch of stability, she ventured another question to hide her pain. "What's her name?"
Absolutely the most horrible, devastating moment of Christy's evening arrived when Todd's lips curled into a contented smile, his dimple showing on the right cheek. With a faraway look in his eyes, he answered, "Jasmine. Her name is Jasmine."
Christy jumped to her feet, ready to fight. But who was she fighting? She felt as if an invisible monster had punched her in the stomach, forcing all the air from her. No words came. Her frozen arms didn't know which way to return a swinging punch.
Todd stood too. "I knew you'd understand. Hey, let me know how your cheerleading tryouts go on Friday. I'll be praying for you." He gave her a brotherly hug and a quick kiss on the cheek.
Don't pray for me! Don't do anything for me! Leave me alone, Todd. Get out of my life and don't ever come back! Christy felt like her heart might explode.
Todd waved and then hopped into the front seat of his van. As Christy stood alone under the jasmine-covered trellis, Todd took off down the street in noisy old Gus.