All that I have I bring,
All that I am I give,
Smile Thou and I shall sing,
But shall not question much.
At about the fourth line of her reading, Christy had realized how similar this poem was to all that she had been through with Todd and Rick during the last month. She had chosen the poem from the list because it was written by a Christina. But now she knew it wasn't an accident. Katie would call this a God-thing.
With a heartfelt interest in the poem, Christy read with tearful intensity, as though she had practiced the reading all weekend. And in a way, maybe she had.
When she finished, her teacher stood up and, clasping her hands together, said, "Now that is an exceptional reading! Thank you, Christy, thank you!"
When the bell rang and the students herded through the hall, Katie caught up to Christy. "When did you have time to practice your reading? I thought you were with Rick all weekend."
"I didn't practice. I lived it." As generally as possible, Christy gave Katie a quick rundown on the weekend.
"So you can be happy that I'm no longer going out with Rick since you never did like us being together."
"That wasn't it," Katie protested. "I didn't want him breaking your heart, that's all. I'm glad you broke up with him instead of the other way around. I will admit that. I just didn't want to see you hurt."
"Then close your eyes," Christy said, "because I'm hurt."
After school she called her mom and asked if she could go to the mall to pick up her paycheck, since she hadn't worked Saturday. Even though Christy did want her paycheck, she had another reason for going. She entered the mall and headed straight for the jewelry store.
"May I help you?" asked an older balding man behind the counter.
"I hope so," Christy said. "A week or so ago, a guy named Rick Doyle came in here and traded in a small gold ID bracelet. He bought a silver one instead. I was wondering if, by any chance, you still have the gold bracelet."
"Let me check." The man disappeared into the back of the shop.
When he returned, he had a long, thin box in his hand. Opening up the velvet-lined case, he held the bracelet for her to see. "Is this it?"
Christy's heart jumped, as if she'd spotted an old friend in a crowd. "Yes, that's it. I can't believe you still have it! May I have it back? I mean, I'd like to buy it back."
"I'm sure we can arrange that," the man said, checking the tag now attached to the chain. "That will be $l45-50, plus tax."
"A hundred and forty-five dollars? That can't be right!"
"This is a valuable bracelet, miss."
"You're telling me," she mumbled.
"Apparently, it was handmade. We've checked all our manufacturers' catalogs, and this is not a standard issue. That doubles the price. Plus it's 24 karat gold, not the usual 14-karat. It's one of a kind."
Christy tried to respond as graciously as possible. "I know it is, sir. You see, that is my bracelet. The guy I mentioned earlier stole it out of my purse and brought it to you without my knowing about it. He gave me a silver one to replace it, but it's just not the same."
"I see," the man said. "And have you reported this theft to the proper authorities? We do have a procedure we can follow for this sort of thing if you haven't already pressed charges."
Christy had to admit that for one minute it was tempting to press charges against Rick. "No, I haven't reported it, and I don't think I want to. I'd simply like my bracelet back."
"Did you bring in the silver one to exchange?"
"No, I don't have that one."
"How would you like to pay for this, then? Cash, check, or charge?" The man looked as if he knew she had none of them to offer.
"I'd like to pay cash, but I don't have enough yet," Christy explained.
"I see." The man snapped the case shut on the bracelet.
"I work across the mall at the pet store, and I get paid every Saturday. Could I put some money down on the bracelet today and then every week pay what I can until it's all paid for?" Christy tried to look as sincere as possible so the man would see she meant business.
"We could do a layaway for you. We would need 10 percent today, and you could continue to make payments until it's paid off."
"Okay," Christy agreed, mentally calculating what 10 percent would be. "I'll go cash my check and be right back."
"Fine. I'll hold the bracelet for you."
The rest of the week dragged by slowly, silently. The phone didn't ring, her parents asked few questions, and Christy spent each afternoon and evening buried in homework.
Her heart and mind continually battled over Rick.
Why did I ever break up with him? We could have worked it out Every couple has problems. Why did I push him away? Am I just running from him again, or did I really do the right thing?
Of course I did the right thing! Our relationship was headed down the wrong road, and the farther I would have walked down that road with Rick, the longer and harder it would have been to get back.
But back to what? Todd?
This is all a cruel joke. Here I am, finally old enough to date, and the only two guys I ever cared about I've pushed right out of my life.
The biggest blow came on Wednesday when Renee, the cheerleader Rick had mentioned over the weekend, came marching up to Christy at lunch. She had two of her friends with her.
Tapping Christy on the shoulder, she said, "So, let's see your proof."
"What are you talking about?" Christy asked.
"Yeah," Katie jumped in to defend Christy.
"I want to see your proof. Rick said you two were going out, and I told him I'd believe it when I saw it. He told me to find you this week, and you'd have evidence."
Katie interrupted, apparently trying to protect Christy. "It's not any of your business who Christy is going out with."
"You're not going out with him, are you?" Renee taunted. "Rick has been after you for so long that he's having hallucinations that he's going out with you. Why don't you tell Rick to wake up and start dating someone who's more his style-like me."
"Rick is free to date whoever he wants," Christy said quietly.
"So you're not going out with him, are you?" Renee turned to the girls with her. "See? I told you guys. I knew it all along."
"Well, for your information-" Katie began.
"Katie." Christy tried to stop her, but it was no use.
"Christy and Rick were together. The evidence was a very expensive bracelet he gave her on one of their many dates out to dinner at expensive restaurants." Katie picked up steam. "But Christy gave it back to him and broke up with him because she saw right through that egotistical jerk!"
Oh Katie, I wish you would've kept your mouth shut.
Renee looked at Christy in disbelief. "You mean you had him? You had Rick Doyle in the palm of your hand, and you let him go?"
"It was a mutual decision," Christy said softly.
A smug looked crossed Renee's face. "You don't have to explain it to me. You'll get over him. And hey, if you're going to wait until you're sixteen to lose your virginity, it might as well be with a guy like Rick...even if he did dump you once he got what he wanted."
Christy and Katie both shot up from the picnic table like twin rockets and faced Renee.
"I did not lose my virginity," Christy said, her words flaming hot.
"Not that it's any of your business," Katie said.
Renee laughed at them. "You mean you didn't do it with Rick? I can't believe you're such a loser! What is your problem, Christy?"
"You're the one with the problem, Renee," Katie popped off.
Then Christy said firmly, "The way I see it, Renee, you're the loser. You see, I can become like you anytime, not that I want to. But you can never become a virgin again like me."
Christy thought Renee was going to slap her, but she spun around and marched off.
Katie and Christy sat back down and exchanged looks that said, "Can you believe what just happened?" Christy felt yucky inside. She was normally a private person, yet during the past few days she'd yelled at Rick in a parking lot, and now she'd blasted Renee in public. This was not the way Christy wanted to handle her relationships.
Katie kept muttering about Renee and how she acted like the world revolved around her. Christy closed her eyes and wished all this confronting and criticizing would just go away.
It took several days before all the uncomfortable feelings started to go away. By the week's end, it turned out to be a good thing that Christy had to work Friday and Saturday. The routine of the pet store helped keep her preoccupied and made her feel more emotionally stable.
The store was busy all day Saturday. Christy sold twenty-five tropical fish to one man who said he had a six-foot aquarium at home. On her break, Christy cashed her check and went to the jewelry store to make another payment on her bracelet. The check had been very small since she hadn't worked the previous Saturday.
"I only have twenty-one dollars to put toward my bracelet this week," Christy explained to the salesman. "I'll have the usual amount next week. I hope it's okay."
"Yes, it's fine. I checked with Jon, and he told me you're a dependable employee."
Christy smiled her thanks. "So after this payment, how much more do I owe?"
The man scribbled on a piece of paper. "At this rate, you could have it paid for by Thanksgiving."
"Good," Christy said, remembering that Rick had said he would be home at Thanksgiving. Maybe, just maybe, Todd would be home for the holiday too. "I'd like to have it back on my wrist by then."
When work ended, Christy had to swing past the library to return her poetry book. The night before she had copied the poem "Twice" into her diary and thought again of how she had felt that morning on the beach when she offered her heart to Todd and he set it down, telling her it was not yet "ripe."
I wonder what she was like, the Christina who wrote that poem? I wonder who the guy was who broke her heart? It's weird to think she lived more than a hundred years ago jet the same things she felt are what I'm feeling now.
Christy was a few blocks from the library when she noticed she was driving right by the park Rick had taken her to. It was after six o'clock, and the playground was empty. On impulse, she pulled into the parking lot, parked the car, and made her way through the sand to the empty swings.
At first she sat in a swing, just rocking back and forth slowly, etching circles in the sand with her tennis shoes.
A gentle autumn breeze rustled the trees, sending a flurry of dancing leaves into the air. Several of them fluttered down to Christy's feet. The once-green leaves had changed to a smear of oranges, yellows, and reds.
"We're changing, that's all We're both changing." Todd's words from that morning on the beach came back to her as she picked up one of the leaves and examined it more closely.
The tree isn't dead; it's just changing. There will be new growth in the spring. Maybe that's how it'll be for Todd and me.
Christy let the leaf go. A puff of wind caught it and carried it spinning through the air until it landed on the grass.
"Father," she prayed in a whisper, "You know how much thinking I've been doing this past week. I keep coming to the same conclusion. I need to fall in love with You. I need to be content with just You as my first love. I'm not ready for a steady relationship with any guy until I'm first secure in my love for You.
"I want to love You with all my heart, soul, strength, and mind. I want to be more in love with You than I've ever been in love with anyone or anything. What did that poem say? 'All that I have I bring. All that I am I give. Smile Thou, and I shall sing but shall not question much.'"
As she prayed, Christy was slowly pumping her legs out and back. Without realizing it, she had gained altitude and was swinging pretty high. When the swing went forward, she hit a spot where the evening sun sliced through the trees and shot a beam of golden light on her face.
Up and back, up and back. Each time she swung forward, the sun shone on her face.
"The Lord make His face to shine upon you..." Those were Todd's words-his blessing.
In an amazing way, it was coming true. Christy felt as if the Lord's face was shining on her. And now that she thought about it, God had given her His peace.
What was that last part of Todd's blessing? Something about loving the Lord above all else.
For the first time all week, a smile found its way to Christy's lips. She pushed herself higher and higher in the swing until she felt the exhilarating rush of the wind through her hair. Then pointing her toes out straight and leaning back in the soaring swing, Christy sang out a spontaneous love song to the Lord of forever as her heart filled with hope.
THE GELENBROOKE SERIES.