Laying on the sofa，munching the chips on her hands, watching the latest television show and laughing out loudly , My sister.(TLN: yes its a bit weird bear with it please)
Just like every parents out there ,watching the behavior of my sister, I can’t help but sigh deeply. With a sudden realisation of how cute my sister is when she is quiet.
Beautiful nose line , fascinating eyebrows，lips that are doll-like。Exquisite waist and beautifully slender long legs that are currently curled up lazily ,resembling a cat.
However, if you are similar to my friend captivated by the figure, attracted and willing to pursue her, then you are going to be in for a fright of your life.
Sighing while cooking up some rice, my sister suddenly coughed up loudly ,shocking me and almost made me cut my finger.
Recovering from the shock, I massaged my temples and asked unenthusiastically “What do you want now?”
No answer. She then raised her slender hands and showed me some numbers.
Two fingers , 3 fingers and 3 fingers.
“2-3-3?What does it mean???”(TLN: GET IT ? no? ok…)I asked unenthusiastically.
After the question she pointed the middle finger and finally opened her mouth “SODA!!!COLD SODA!!” The tone was absolutely horrible basically not giving me a shred of respect. “2 means refrigerator,3 means downstairs and the other 3 means soda——I gave you the TaoYao family guide book yesterday didn’t I? Did you even memorise it ?”
I suddenly remembered the strange and weird handbook on the table , shaking my head and with a large courage I voiced out “You lazy sister, even words you can’t bear to speak anymore. How the hell am i supposed to understand?” I handed her the ice coke, wanting to avoid as much trouble as possible.
“Ah!” She shrieked.
What is it now? I thought while suppressing my anger.
“Why did you not open the bottle cap!!??! Its so cold and you expect me to open it myself?”
Hearing that I furiously threw down my kitchen knife stabbing the chopping board. Having seen my killer-like gaze , my sister hurriedly and obediently disappeared from my line of sight. Our conversation thus ended with that.
My parents dropped me and left for their research overseas when we were in Junior high. They rarely return in the two years after that and in the beginning of my third year I found out that my parents both died in an explosion during one of the experiments leaving me as nothing more than orphans.
No even worse than that , there is no orphan that has such a terrible sister to torture him.
As my parents route of research does not aligned with the direction that the research team wants to go, the research materials thus is left with my parents and burned up together with them, reduced to nothing but ashes…….
We moved out from our old settlement and settled in a small house that was for rent in the city. From that day onward ,I have no choice but to work part-time to support the house and study at the same time.
Lin Yushan, that’s me and I have been living a horrid life right?
My sister , Lin TaoYao, is now in the second year of high school and already exhibiting such horrendous behaviour .Any man who comes into contact with her flees to the end of the earth.(TLN: HELP ME! Just commend your translation of it cause you know how confusing Chinese idioms are! hehe….!桃之夭夭，灼灼其华)
As for why……
“Oni-channnn”(TLN:JKJK, its just says brother but I had to)she excitedly called out, breaking my train of thought. “Quickly go and clean up my room!! Rose is coming!!!” Shaking her phone she said “She just send a text that she will be coming!!!”
I crouched my back and jokingly said to her “What about your family guide book? Why did you not give signals this time?”
She shook her head and replied “There is no verbs in the codes yet ,En, I will update it soon.”
Wait what? There is going to be an updated version? I frowned and assumed my brotherly position:” Clean up yourself ! Ain’t nobody got time for that! I still have rice to cook!”(TLN: get it?)
To choose between eating on time or cleaning up her room , what this lazy cat sister will pick I certainly can tell, after all I understood her the best, in addition to how much she can use me to her own benefit the most, I have no way of defending against that.( TLN:Kinda weird right? Sorry!)
“Ok..Ok..I will” I shouted at her “Don’t scare off your last friend!”
My sister pouted, stared and said “She’s way more loyal that you ,yo!”(TLN: again sry for the yo, just a habit to include memes I guess)
Haiz , loyal huh. I guess I can kind of imagine what little Rose have to go through to maintain this friendship with my sister. Poor Rose.
“Rose is coming to eat too so make more rice ok!!!”
“Yes Mum .”(TLN:Apologies)
Rose leaves a good impression in my heart or maybe it is because we are of the same kind, either way I feel good with her. In fact Rose is a fascinating girl, her classmates , including my sister, they all call her “Miss Clumsy” or “Clumsy girl”. In the beginning of Junior High third year, She always never have a good lunch, if it is not forgetting to bring her utensils, then it is forgetting to bring the actual food itself, and when she actually manages to bring her utensils and lunch , she still somehow manages to screw up and spilled her lunch, drenching herself in it. When walking she falls easily, gets lost easily, the amount of times these things happening already cannot be counted anymore. Basically the embodiment of Clumsiness.
Furthermore, there is a period of time, the Rose that experienced puberty body-wise garnered a lot of attention from boys of her age and tried to help her out when she was cleaning the classroom after school. With her slim figure and short skirt , a lot of young adolescent boys can’t help but get attracted to her. However she mistake their act of helping as goodwill and did not get a hold of the hidden meaning behind their actions.
Just like that, a don’t know what’s good for her little girl comes under the protection of my little demon sister. After receiving my sister’s attention, no man has ever gone near Rose ever again. Up to this day i still do not know what spark my little sister to give motherly love to Rose.
I remembered my sister once criticised the boys in her class “Pei! These fellows only know how to constantly peek at her, so perverted and disgusting, how can people expect me to take this lying down?”
My mouth curled into a mild smile, at least this kid still has her conscience huh ,I thought.
However , sad to say ,my sister is not any better. She also misunderstands a lot and causes trouble without noticing it. There was a time when I was returning from school , I saw Rose standing just outside the alleyway staring blankly into space, she looked like she was tricked by a bunch of hooligans , I was actually worried that she actually was tricked into thinking that she will be hired into being a pop star and brought to film questionable content.
At that time i did not know who she was , so I chased off the hooligans and wanted to bring her to the police station to send her home.
However , midway I met my sister .
“Ah——”She pulled her voice for quite a long time, then she suddenly screamed out “You, how dare you flirt with a girl, and my friend at that too! Oni-channn ,you, you Hentai!!!!!!!!!”(TLN: Ah~~~temptations）
Even the cleaning uncle passing by stopped out of curiosity, grinningly laughed at the comedic scene unfolding before him. Furthermore the passer-bys began taking photos and videos of the situation. Hey what are you guys doing!!??!! I don’t want to get famous for this!!!!
I could no longer remember how mad I was , all I remembered was flagging a taxi and dragging my sister in , screaming at the taxi driver to hurry up and drive off the area towards my home.
After the incident ,it took me ages to finally explain my circumstances and situation to my sister.
After that incident , Rose seems to think that I am a reliable man, even causing my sister to be jealous of getting treated better than her.
Now thanks to their performance , I am now labeled as “High school skilled flirter” , causing clear displeasure between other males and me.
“Ding Dong, Ding Dong” ,the sound of the doorbell broke my train of thoughts. “Coming!” I wailed ,cheerfully opened the door expecting to see Rose’s beautiful smile.
Sadly it is not the case ,instead “Clearly you are at home so why did you not pick up the phone??” it was a bearded delivery uncle .”Sign here and take this.”
I wiped the cold sweat off my face ,signed and accepted the package. Its that girl’s stuff again, what did she buy this time? I thought. I shouted towards my sister’s direction. “TaoYao, your package is here!”
“Coming!” She hurriedly rushed towards me and suddenly stopped, staring at the original position of the delivery uncle. “Oh Rose your here?”
I turned my head a little to where my sister is looking at and saw Rose with a smile on her face. “Hi Lin oni-chann , why are both of you standing outside desuyo~~~~?”（TLN： Temptation too strong)
“Oh just received a package”smiling at her I said “Why don’t you come inside.”(TLN: into the white van muahahahahhaahaha…..Save me)
“Oh that’s oni-channn’s pocket pussy.” my sister glaringly said.(TLN: well I know this sounds weird let me explain as the next part is going to be super confusing. The term pocket pussy in Chinese has airplane in it , if you exclude the actual meaning then directly translate it, it will be airplane cup which makes no sense which is the next part. Read on!)
How can you do this to your own brother , I care about my image ok!!! How can you ruin it for your own devilish purpose. I screamed in my mind. There is no coming back from that. I thought.
“Airplane cup?” Rose asked inquisitively while looking at the package in my hands, seemingly to not understand what is the actual meaning behind what my sister said.” What is it for? Are you going on an airplane oni-chann? It doesn’t seem right, it clearly states on the package that it is for TaoYao though?”
“That’s my sister’s airplane cup.” waving my hand with the package towards my sister , “I am a selfless person , no need to thank me.”(TLN: It actually states a soldier who is famous for his selflessness but I just put selfless as that is the meaning behind those words, if you really want references than comment and I will just put in the name next time.)
My sister did not reply , only started signaling me by forming numbers with her fingers. Remembering what I read in the handbook for the Kitchen section and combining with her signals, looks like she is going to take credit for my cooking huh. I suddenly felt disheartened.
“Mm.. Smells nice!” Rose exclaimed ,reminding me of little kids getting excited for food.
“How is it, my cooking skills is not bad right? Lets go and dig in before it gets cold.” my sister started pulling Rose by the shoulder towards the dining area and glared towards me.
I give up. Its not like my ability to cook will cause Rose to develop anything towards me . Why are you so jealous? Your methods are just too gruesome , my sister.
However ,after a while my sister can no longer keep up the act.
“Smells delicious, how long did you steam the potato meat stew for? How did you make it exhibit such a flavour?”
“En……” She pleadingly looked at me ,asking for my assistance. Yes, chance get! I started playing with her and show several random numbers with my fingers, causing her to be angry at me.
“Youuuuuu! Fine! You win, You win.” clenching her jaws and said angrily.
I laughed until I bend my waist.
Rose stared at our interaction and commented “Isn’t it nice? You guys seem close.”
“Of course” I replied jokingly.
“Yea , so close~~~” my sister looked at Rose with a bright smile on her face, resembling a goddesses who just descended onto earth. Truly looking like a great sister, give her an oscar please!(TLN: I added the oscar part, I just like to put jokes into my TL .Sry if you hate it. But don’t worry same meaning, will not affect it so much.)
Rose looked at me , seemingly wanting to say something before closing her mouth . Blushing without saying anything in the end.
My sister exposes her devilish smirk towards me , stating my doom once her friend goes home.
I acted like I did not see her smirk and said “Aiyo, my sister if you want her to stay why don’t you just say so, no need to be shy about it.”
Rose’s eyes suddenly brightened up and said “Really? Can I? Wouldn’t it cause any inconvenience for you guys?”
“No ,no it is fine.” Ignoring my sister death stare I said “My sister room is really clean , no worries , I can guarantee a comfortable time here.” I then looked at my sister with a smirk and said “Or unless you have no confidence in your room being clean, if that is the case I will gladly let her stay in mine.”
At that point in time , Rose’s face is already red all the way to her ears. Realising what I just said I quickly countered myself” Of course I will sleep at the couch.”
“Don’t trust him, he is a Hentaiiiiiii, he is trying to trick you!”
“Lin oni-chann is not that kind of person, I believe him.” Rose smiled while saying it.
“Dumb child. Even I don’t understand him, what do you know.” My sister impatiently hugged Rose and pulled her further away from me .
I lived with you for so long and you still don’t understand me and trust me? Isn’t your EQ level too low? I did not voice out my inner complains , only jokingly said” Taoyao, go and keep your pocket pussy.”
“Shut your mouth you hentaiiiii!”
“My dad gave me the ok!” Rose said cheerfully.
“Great!” I gave a long sigh, looks like today is the day where I finally get to have a break from my devil sister.
“Do you really like me being here Lin oni-channn?” Rose asked me cheerfully.
“Of course!” I nodded my head. “If you could live with us everyday, I would be over the moon.”
My sister looked like she almost vomited while Rose’s face turned red and acted like she did not hear what I said.
Sometimes , one sentence have double meanings , I rather have Rose misunderstand than have to deal with my demon sister.
I sighed helplessly. Living together with two girls… does not mean that it will be like those ero novels out there, instead , all it feels like is the start of a horrible nightmare.