"And when is it due?"
"Quit saying 'it.' November sixth. The twins came early, though, but twins do that. I had a C-section, so I will-" She stopped, her blue eyes gazing at him."Look, you have a right to be angry, I guess, but-"
"Youguess? What are you doing, lady? You slept with a guy you met in a bar."
"The biggest mistake of my life," she said. "But thank you for reminding me.You slept with a woman you met in a bar. And you seemed real familiar withthat motel, too,Cal, no matter what you said about putting friends up therewhen they couldn't drive home."
"Neither one of us was real smart that night."
"No. And you don't have to worry about me. Or the baby."
"I don't." Now that was a laugh. He had done nothing but worry about hersince the day he found out she was a widow He'd done a lot more than worry,too. He'd taken her to bed and he'd taken her to the barn, and he'd figuredhe'd died and gone to heaven each time. And now he felt like a fool of thebiggest kind. "What do you want from me, Addie?"
"Nothing. I'm fine."
"We'll get married," he heard himself say. "Right away."
She went still. "Why?"
"Because that child is going to have my name."
"No."
"No?"
"I'm not looking for a husband," Addie informed him.
"You damn well need one."
"Not necessarily, cowboy." She bounced off the bed and left the house,slamming the door behind her.Calstood in his empty house once again. He hadthe sinking feeling that he'd just handled everything the wrong way.
This was all very unfair, Addie decided, walking back to the house. He'dreacted to the news much the way she'd expected, though she'd hoped he'd behappier. In her stupid, hopeful heart, she'd wondered if he would take her inhis arms and tell her how much she meant to him.
Yeah, right. Like that was going to happen anytime soon.
Addie sat on the porch rather than going inside to face her family. It was ahot night, but there was a pleasant enough breeze. She could sit here for awhile and lick her wounds. He wanted to give the baby his name. He wantedmarriage.
It's not as if she hadn't thought about it herself. She'd pictured waking upnext to him in the morning, having that big, warm body next to her inbed, herboys depending on him for attention and guidance, a baby knowing what it waslike to have a father to hold her.
All those things were tempting and lovely to think about, but the reality wasthatCalfelt trapped and angry and responsible. Not the best requisites for a groom.
And she preferred to be alone, she really did. It was certainly better thanmarrying a man who was doing it for all the wrong reasons. She could take careof herself. She'd been proving that all along.
Nothing was going to change now.
"How'sit going?"
John shook his head, sending Paula's high hopes plummeting. "They're nottalking much," he said. "But I can't stop grinning, Paula. Can you imagine? Ababy in this old place? Why, it's too good to be true." He grinned even wider."Why, whenCaltold me, I thought I'd fall right over."
"He seems okay with it, then?" She pulled her overnight bag out of her carand shut the door, but there was no sign of Addie or the boys.
"Seems to. Except he can't get Miss Addie to agree to get married and givethat baby a name."
Paula sighed. "She's a stubborn girl. I've been hoping she and Cal would talkthings over." She'd waited a week to return to the ranch, and then she'd comeup on Saturday afternoon, hoping that she could baby-sit and let the youngpeople have some time to work out their differences.
"Not that I know of.Cal's stomping around here, not saying anything at all,and Miss Addie's in that house all the time. The boys are doing real good withtheir riding lessons, though. Wait 'til you see them on their ponies. Theytook to those horses like they'd grown up here."
"I'm glad." She headed toward the house. "Where is everyone?"
"Caldrove off somewhere, and the rest of them are inside where it's nice andcool."
"What are we going to do, John?"
He lifted his hat and scratched his bald head. "Well, Miss Paula, I don'tthink there's anything wecan do. But I've knownCalfor twenty years now, sincehe was a skinny young kid cleaning barns, and he's a good man. He'll make thisright, I'm sure he will."
"Addie's stubborn," Paula pointed out again, wishing her daughter would benda little. Being independent was one thing, but being stupid was another. "ButI know she likes him.LikingCal's a good start, I'm sure."
"Seems like we ought to be able to figure out how to help things along," theold cowboy drawled. "Two smart folks like us."
"You have any ideas?"
"We could lock 'em in the tractor shed, see what happens." He chuckled.
"I'd rather lock them in a bedroom," Paula muttered, heading toward the frontdoor. Another passionate encounter might help them think straight. "Whateverhappened to the days of shotgun weddings?"
"Gone," John sighed. "But I got a couple of rifles if you want 'em."
"If things don't get settled before November," Paula said, "I'll take you upon that offer."
"Howare you?"
Addie looked up from slicing cantaloupe for a fruit salad and sawCalstandinginside the door. He looked tired, but he didn't look angry. She'd missed him.She'd half hoped, half dreaded he'd come to the house, and yet it had beenalmost two weeks since his birthday. Two weeks since he'd found out she waspregnant.
"Fine. I'm making a salad to take to the kindergarten. They're having alast-day-of-school party tomorrow."
"I heard. It's all they can talk about." He closed the door behind him andwalked over to her. "Marriage isn't such a bad idea, you know."
"You're going to tell me you want to be a father?"
"I'm trying to tell you to keep an open mind." She finished cutting the lastslice of melon and covered the bowl with plastic wrap. "You're being veryold-fashioned,Cal."
"Old-fashioned," he repeated, sounding slightly amused. "I'm going to takethat as a compliment."
She set the bowl in the refrigerator and tried to ignore the fact that he wasstanding so close. "That's not a bad thing," she said. "I didn't mean it as aninsult."
"It's probably old-fashioned to want to carry you upstairs to bed."
Addie stilled. "I don't think making love is going to make things anybetter."
"No?" He easily lifted her into his arms, as easily as he had that nightoutside of Billy's. "The boys are asleep and it's just you and me. Maybe weshould try it and see."
"Sex isn't going to solve anything,Cal." But she rested her head on hisshoulder and relaxed. She was in love with him, for heaven's sake. She wasn'tin any condition to resist being carried to bed by the man she'd fallen inlove with.
Chapter 12.
When he woke the next morning, it was to discover Addie still asleep besidehim. Her smooth, naked body was tucked against his side, and her breathing waslight and even. He'd delighted in the changes in her body, in the small signsof pregnancy he was able to feel when he touched her. He wondered what she'dlook like in three months, in five. He couldn't wait to see.
His woman. His child. Somehow, without realizing it, he'd been given the gift of a lifetime, a surprise of such magnitude that he could barely imagine theimpact. He'd been alone all his life, except for Ed-a miserly yet fairemployer-and John, the kind of grandfather everyone should have, even if hedid like to meddle.
Even now he had nothing to offer this woman. Nothing except his name and hisprotection. Addie owned this place, she had plenty of money and she was smartenough to figure out how to run a cattle ranch, whether he was here or not.But she was pregnant with his child, and that counted for something.
That counted for a hell of a lot.
"Cal?" He turned to see Addie's gaze on his face.
"Good morning."
She smiled, a sleepy, satisfied smile that boded well for this morning'sdiscussion of marriage. "Good morning. What time is it?"
"Not quite six. I thought you'd sleep later."
"I'm an early riser," she murmured, not looking at all as if she was ready tobounce out of bed.
"There's been no sound from the boys, so you can go back to sleep." He turnedon his side and moved a lock of hair away from her cheek.
"Maybe I'll just lie here and enjoy the quiet." She smiled and his heartcontracted.
"Marry me, Addie," he said softly. "We'll make it work, I promise." Shedidn't respond for a long moment, but she looked as if she was thinking overthe suggestion.
"Why?" she asked finally.
Caldidn't hide his surprise. "That's obvious, isn't it? Because we're goingto have a child."
"But there should be more to it than that," Addie said.
"More," he repeated. "What else can I offer, Addie?" He waited for her toanswer, but she simply looked at him with those questioning blue eyes.
"I don't want to marry you," she said. "Not like this."
He moved away so she wouldn't see how hurt he was. He didn't know what shewanted from him, but he wasn't going to beg.Calleft the bed and retrieved hisclothes. "I don't know what you want, sweetheart. But I wish to hell you'dfigure it out soon."
"I want-" She stopped suddenly, obviously unwilling to tell him. Or maybe shedidn't know. He'd heard pregnant women could be a little odd at times.
"What?" he prompted, throwing on his clothes. "Tell me and I'll make ithappen."
"You can't." Her eyes filled with tears, and something within him snapped. Hewas tired of being alone, tired of living on the outside looking m. And sheexpected him to stand by and let it happen with his own child?
"I get it," he snapped. And he was afraid he understood all too well. "Here'sthe deal, Addie," he said, approaching the bed, while she struggled to sit upand pull the sheet over her full breasts. "You either marry me or I'm out ofhere."
"That's quite an ultimatum." She looked up at him as if she didn't quitebelieve he was serious.
"I want you. And I want the baby. I'll take care of your sons and I'll runyour ranch. What more do you want?" He suspected she wanted him to fall on hisknees and express his undying devotion, but he was no hypocrite. He offeredwhat he could, and no more.
"No," she whispered. "That's not enough."
"Not good enough for you, I guess," he said, trying to smile to show that hisheart wasn't smashed.
"That's not it at all," she insisted. "What about love,Cal? We don't-"
"What?" he asked into the silence. "We don'twhat?"
She didn't answer, and he knew that she couldn't say the words.
"Never mind. I can take care of myself," Addie said, looking fragile anddetermined.
"If that's the way you want it,"Calsaid, "that's the way you can have it." Hetook a deep breath and went to the door, but before he opened it he turnedback to the woman in the bed. "You have my resignation, sweetheart. I'll beout of here as soon as I've packed."
He didn't wait for her reply. He left the room, and the house, as fast as hecould, before he could weaken and change his mind. He'd had years ofexperience being alone, and he damn well could continue.
But he didn't have much experience with love, and he wasn't about to saysomething he didn't mean. But if he could love anyone, it would be Addie.
She didn't cry. She had what she wanted, didn't she? He was leaving, whichshe'd hoped for weeks ago. She was better off alone, of course. Better offmanaging things by herself. She could take care of her children and her lifewithout Cal McDonald.
He didn't love her. He'd said as much before he left. He was honest, and shewas foolish. So foolish to fall in love with the man in such a short time. From the second he'd touched her, taken her hand and led her onto the dancefloor that night, she'd felt as if she'd found someone she could wrap her armsand heart around. There had been that mind-numbing passion, but she'd felt shecould trust him, too. And she still felt that way, even if he had just walkedout.
"You have too much pride," Kate told her later over the phone. "Admit you'rein love with him and take him any way you can get him. Men like that don'tcome around very often."
Yes, Addie agreed. Men likeCalwere few and far between. But she didn't know how to make him love her. "I'm not going to trap him into marriage," sheinsisted, feeling righteous and lonely.
"How do you know he doesn't love you, you idiot? Have you asked him?" Kate'svoice had become shrill.
"Of course not. I'm notthat pathetic."
"It's a damn good question," Kate insisted. "And he might have an interestinganswer. I likeCal. If I wasn't dating your air conditioner installer-and bythe way, he's absolutely fabulous, in bed and out of it-I'd go after himmyself."
"Over my dead body," Addie said, wondering if she'd sentCalinto the arms ofthe beautiful real estate agent from town. "Besides, he's not your type."