"I can't. I have to make breakfast and act like a mother."
He sat up and held out his hand. "Come here, Addie. Say good morning."
She stood where she was, but she returned his smile. "Good morning,Cal."
"Good morning, Addie. Did you sleep well?"
"Yes. When I had a chance." She walked around the bed and took his offered hand. He tugged her closer and kissed her lightly on the lips before releasingher.
"Go back to bed," he said. "I'll go down and feed the boys."
"No." Addie moved away. "I'll do it. Just go, okay?"
"All right." He told himself it was for the best. He had no reason to actlike he belonged here, even in the early hours of a Monday morning.
Calhad lain awake for a long time while Addie had slept curled against him.He hadn't planned on this. Hadn't dared to hope that dinner would turn intolovemaking, that a simple evening out would end with this sweet and willingwoman welcoming him into her bed.
He was truly amazed. And yet he'd known for weeks, since he'd learned she wasa widow, that they would end up together again. There was too much passionbetween them, too much awareness of each other to ignore. They'd come togetherwhether they'd planned to or not.
But passion was all it could be. Nothing more. He'd been alone too long tothink of anything else.
Chapter 10.
"So now what?"
"I don't know." Addie held the cell phone to her ear as she sat outside inthe car, waiting for the boys to come out of school. She was early, but she'dneeded a reason to leave the ranch and avoid running intoCal. Every time shethought of making love to him last night, she turned red and droppedsomething. She'd already broken her favorite coffee mug and one of her newcereal bowls. Tonight she was serving dinner on paper plates. "I'm not surehow to act."
"Well, you called an expert," Kate drawled. "Your cowboy took you out todinner, took you to bed and took you to, um, heights of ecstasy, right?"
"Yes." She blushed, remembering some of the more erotic details.
"And in the morning you sent him back to his little hut and morphed back intoSupermom."
"The boys woke up and came into the bedroom. What else could I have done?"When she'd rushed downstairs to the kitchen, they were already arguing overwhat kind of cereal to pour into their bowls. They'd looked disappointed tosee her and not their hero, but Addie had told them thatCalhad to go take careof the cows.
"Have you seen him today?"
"No."
"Have you tried to see him?"
"Of course not." She picked up the cup of iced tea she'd bought from the Dairy Queen. "Kate, there's more to this, something else you don't know."
"Uh-oh. Just a minute. I'm going to close my office door." There werefootsteps, Kate told someone to take a message, and there was laughter andthen the sound of a door closing. "Okay. Tell me now."
"I'm pregnant." There was silence. Such a long stretch of silence that Addie finally prompted, "Kate? Are you still there?"
"I'm here. I was just thinking that I wish I hadn't quit smoking."
"It happened that night at Billy's, on Valentine's Day. The condom broke,"
she explained. "I couldn't believe it, either. Not until I started hayingmorning sickness."
"Good heavens, Addie, you're a regular baby-making factory. You need to getmarried, and fast. What doesCowboyCalhave to say about all of this?"
"That's the hard part," Addie said, taking another sip of iced tea. "Hedoesn't know it. He's going to think it's a trap, that I'm looking for ahusband and a father for my kids-all three of them."
"Can you blame him?" Kate sighed. "Fertile Myrtle arrives on the ranch andpresents him with a baby. I don't think he's going to jump for joy."
"That makes two of us not jumping," Addie said. "And you should have heard mymother's reaction."
"She knows? You're a brave woman."
"She figured it out."
"I hate to remind you, Addie, butCal's going to notice eventually, too. Whenis the baby due?"
"Early November. I have time."
"Time for what?"
'Time to tell him, I guess."
"And then what? Get married? Ride off into the sunset together?"
"No, of course not." Addie sighed as the doors opened and the children wereled outside into the sunshine. "I don't expect that. I'm perfectly able toraise this child by myself. And it's not like I'm in some kind of relationshipwith Cal McDonald. He's practically a stranger."
"It may not be a typical romance, but you're in love with him," Katedeclared. "Otherwise youwouldn't sound so miserable."
"I have to go," Addie said. "The boys are coming. And of course I'm not inlove with him."
Kate laughed. "Yeah, right. You wouldn't have slept with him again if youweren't feeling something. I know you."
"But-"
"Dinner tonight," her friend declared. "I'll be at your place by seven andI'll bring pizza. You can eat pizza, can't you?"
"Sure. But-"
"We'll talk then," Kate promised. "In the meantime, try to be nice to yourcowboy."
With that piece of advice, the phone clicked off and Addie tossed her cellphone into her purse. Even if she was falling in love with Cal McDonald, itdidn't mean anything. They were two people thrust into an awkward situation,even if only one of them realized it.
"She has company," John informed him. "Just in case you were thinking aboutgoing over to see her."
Calreached for the rag hanging by the shop door and attempted to wipe thegrease off his hands. Ed's old tractor wasn't going to last much longer,butCalwas determined to get another season out of the old beast. "You haveanything elseto do around here except watch what's going on at the big house?"
The old man chuckled. "No. Those horses aren't much work, not for an old prolike me. I'm giving the boys riding lessons tomorrow, though. I could use yourhelp, if you're gonna be around."
"Sure." He tossed the rag aside and looked toward the house. "Who's therenow? The plumber again?"
"Nah. The guy installing the air-conditioning system's still here, and thenKate drove up. Maybe we should walk over there and see if the ladies needanything."
"Like what?"He needed a shower and a beer, nothing more. Just because he'dmade love to Addie for half the night didn't mean he had to start followingher around. She'd made it clear this morning that she didn't want him aroundwhen the boys could ask questions. He wondered how she'd explained himsleeping over last night.
John shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe they'd just like some male company."
"If Addie wants us, she knows how to find us." He'd be damned if he'd walkinto that house looking for her.
"You're in a mood."
Calshook his head. "Sorry. I'm heading home to clean up, and I'm stayingthere."
"What'd you two talk about last night? You have a good time?"
"She's been reading about Santa Gertrudis," he told the old man, whoseeyebrows rose. "Wants to raise chemical-free beef."
"Guess she's not going to sell the cattle, then." John's grin threatened tosplit his face apart. "Guess she's going to keep you around. Aren't you happyyou took my advice and asked the little gal out?"
"Yeah,"Caltold him. "Sure." He hoped the old man never found out what he andAddie had done for the rest of the night. He didn't doubt John would comeafter him with a shotgun if he knew thatCalhadn't left Addie's bed until afterdawn.
He wanted nothing more than to see her again; to walk into that kitchen andput his arms around her and carry her upstairs to bed. He wanted to make sureshe was feeling all right, wanted to watch her sleep. Wanted to make love toher again and wake up next to her.
Later, in the brutal emptiness of his small house,Calwondered if he had beenbetter off before Addie moved here, when he hadn't known what he had beenmissing.
She could take the magazine to him. She could discuss the upcoming auctionand pretend she cared about raising beef cattle. She could stroll past thebarns-they were her barns, after all-and inquire about the livestock.
Or, as Kate suggested with great hilarity, she could put on her sexiestnightgown and inviteCalto the house for a nightcap. Call him, her friend hadsaid. And she was tempted, of course. They had some things to discuss, but shewanted to have all of her clothes on when she talked to him about the baby.
She would make it clear that he wasn't to feel obligated, that she couldmanage quite well on her own. The last thing she needed, as she'd explained toher incredulous friend, was a man who felt forced to be with her.
"You're crazy," Kate had said. "He's a good man-or seems to be-and you'regoing to have three fatherless kids. If I were in your shoes, I'd admit I wasfalling for the guy and do whatever it took to keep him in my life."
"It's not that easy," she'd countered, wondering if it possibly could be.
"You're making things more complicated than they need to be," Kate hadinsisted. But then again, she'd had a few rum and Cokes with her pizza, anddecided to spend the night and go into work late the next morning. "Take theman to bed, Addie.Keep the man in bed. If he's not in love with you now, hesoon will be. After all, he's been on this ranch for twenty years. How grim isthat? And how lucky is he to have you move in?"
Addie had been only too happy to say goodnight and avoid any more advice.She'd waited three more days-and spent three more sleepless nights-before shedecided what to do about the cowboy. She put on baggy shorts, a loose T-shirtand a wide-brimmed hat, and headed outside to see if he was around. His truckwas parked near his house and she found him behind the largest barn, doctoringcalves. The little guys were bawling their heads off and their mothers, on theother side of the fence, weren't happy about the separation, either.
Callooked up at her and waved. She walked up to the fence and perched on thetop rung. They would be friends, she decided. And then, once that had beenestablished, she would decide when to tell him the rest.
"Hey," he said, walking toward her. He wiped his brow with his sleeve and tipped his Stetson back to reveal a sweat-soaked forehead. "What are you doingout here?"
"Looking for you." He actually took her breath away, something Addie didn'tlike admitting to herself. Good-looking and coated with dust, the man had thatcompetent strength about him that made her want to jump into his arms.
"Yeah?" He grinned. "I thought you were avoiding me." "I was," she admitted. "A little." "You didn't have to." He took off his gloves and put one hand on her bareknee, sending shivers up her leg. "I wasn't about to come walking into yourbedroom." "I know." Though each night she'd wondered what she would have done if he'dappeared in the doorway. She didn't think she'd have kicked him out. "Not that I didn't think about it," he admitted, smiling up at her. "You're a hard woman to forget."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome." They smiled at each other for a long moment. Addie took a deep breath and tried to remember why she was out here. "How's everything upat the house? Did the boys ask a lot of questions?"
She flushed. "I told them that you spent the night because I was afraid ofthunderstorms."
"And are you?" His warm hand slid above her knee, his long fingersdisappearing under the hem of her khaki shorts.
"Well, yes. A little." She was more afraid she was going to fall backwardsoff the fence if his hand slid any higher up her thigh.
"Have you ever been made love to on a pile of hay?"
"Not lately, no."
"Ever?"
"No." She wriggled. "Stop that."
"I can promise you it won't take long." He smiled and lifted her off thefence. "Unless you want it to last all afternoon."
"We can't do this," she muttered, but he was leading her toward the barn, andshe followed willingly. "What about John?"
"Went to town to pick up supplies. And the boys?"
"In school. I pick them up at two-thirty." She saw him look at his watch, andthen he smiled.
"That gives us an hour and a half. Plenty of time."
"You lied," she murmured later from a lovely position in the hayloft. She wassprawled on top ofCal's naked body. He lay on an old horse blanket on a pileof hay, his hands caressing her bottom and keeping her from wriggling away.
Sunlight filtered from the cracks in the barn boards, and the heat wasintense. Addie decided she could blame her increasing dizziness on sexualsatisfaction.
"About what?"
"Wedidn't have plenty of time. I have to hurry up and get to town now."
"Too much kissing," he said. "Next time we're going to skip all the foreplayand go right to the good stuff."
"Okay. I like the good stuff." She laughed and knew she was definitely introuble. In love and in trouble. Anyone would tell her this was the perfectsituation, to be in love with the man who'd fathered her child. But if hewasn't in love with her?
She gazed down at him. He was still inside of her, though she could rectifythat easily enough. He looked sexy and content, satisfied and pleased withhimself and the way he'd spent a hot Friday afternoon. But he wasn't in lovewith her. She knew better than to delude herself into thinking this was morethan pure lust.