Chapter 303 – You Can Only Be A Prince
Her comprehension of Buddhism was shallow at best. Any knowledge she had came firstmost from her professional background as an archeologist who specialized in forensic anthropology, after gleaning through several references on Buddhism and Buddha.
"There are people who have tried to figure out the Buddha all their lives, but even as their vitalities waned, they couldn't understand its true essence. Buddha is in your heart is merely words people used to comfort themselves," she stated.
Madame Kong remained silent.
"This humble one would like to ask Madame Kong what made you put your faith in Buddha?"
Uh-
It was the first time someone asked such a question. Her elegant face showed a trace of surprise and a bit of loss on how to answer.
After contemplating the question for a while, she finally formulated her answer. "Buddha is Buddha. But without Buddha, who would I be?"
"Aren't you also a mother?!"
Her rhetoric question had the effect of rousing people from their delusions. Madame Kong's expression changed. She propped herself up from the floor, and Ji Yunshu followed suit.
It was a simple thing, but getting up seemed to drain quite a bit of Madame Kong's energy. Even then, both of her hands had never left the Buddhist rosary. She walked to the window and pushed open the shutters.
The warm breeze blew in, dispersing the strong fragrance of the candle. A few petals came along, and a few of them fell onto the window sill. In the distance, the courtyard was picturesque with dancing peach blossom petals. The tears threatened to drip down from her face.
"Yu'er has been at my side ever since she was born. She rarely went against my wishes and was very obedient and thoughtful. She was a good daughter, a virtuous young lady… I remember a dozen years ago, I fell gravely ill. At that time, she took care of me, days and nights. Everyday, I would wake up and see her curled up in a ball, sleeping at my bedside. At night, she would watch over me. She was only seven years old," Madame Kong said in a desolate voice.
As she spoke, her lips curved into a rare smile which was quickly replaced by bereavement.
Ji Yunshu quietly listened to her. She went to her side and looked towards where Madame Kong's eyes rested. The blooming of the peach blossoms was a feast to the eyes, blinding with their vivid red color.
"When Miss Kong died, she didn't mention you, but I believe the person she couldn't bear to leave was you."
Madame Kong did not respond.
"In Buddhism, everything has karma, so you tried to convince yourself that it was the will of Heaven that Kong Yu became a princess. Her marriage to Qujiang was also foreordained, and so was her union with the Crown Prince. Even if you are like this, she never resented you," said Ji Yunshu.
Madame Kong tightly clutched onto her Buddhist prayer beads with watery eyes. It was a while before her tears finally trickled, which she quickly wiped away with her sleeve. A moment passed before she could resume her calm. "Thank you very much for telling me. I think I understand," she said in a gloomy tone.
"My words are by no means meant to make you feel guilty. I only hope you can understand this was the results of her choices. The same goes for you when you chose the road of piety."
Madame Kong nodded. "Teacher Ji, did you come here today to pass on Yu'er's final wishes? If so, please tell me."
"In her last hour, Miss Kong wished for Miss Juan'er to leave the imperial palace."
"Juan'er?"
"Yes." Ji Yunshu confirmed. "Miss Juan'er accompanied Miss Kong into the palace. However, her status is only that of a palace maid. Hence, she would have to live through her life behind the walls of the imperial palace. It is necessary for you to enter the palace and request for her to leave. I believe the Emperor would agree if you say the words."
"Good. I will handle this matter."
"After Juan'er leaves the palace, please bring her out of the capital. I think sending her back to Emerald Retreat is a good place to live after all she went through."
Kong Yu had died. There was nothing left to hold back Madame Kong at the capital. Therefore, leaving the capital, to a far but better place wasn't a bad idea.
There was nothing left for Ji Yunshu to say to Madame Kong.
She clasped her hands and saluted her. As she departed, she paused to say a few words, "Buddha is Buddha, but humans are still humans in the end. A human can't be a Buddha, and a Buddha cannot be human." Then, at last, she closed the door behind her.
After her departure, Madame Kong twisted the prayer beads in her hands.
Clack! Clack! Clack!
The prayer beads which had accompanied her for more than 10 years broke under her hands. The string holding the beads had snapped, freeing the beads to scatter across the floor, roaming every corner of the room like a wild horse.
When Ji Yunshu came back to her courtyard, she called for Wei Yi who was picking peach blossoms. Hearing her voice, he happily ran out with a bouquet of them.
"For you!" He beamed a hearty smile, appearing like a big boy.
Ji Yunshu received the flowers and rubbed his head.
"Let's go back."
"Oh!"
The imperial palace.
The Crown Prince has passed away. Every official, be it civil or military, was in attendance, lining the outside of Fuyang Hall. Inside the main room, Jing Yi, Jing Rong and Jing Xian stood in a row, facing a closed wooden door carved with decorative patterns. No one dared to trespass, leaving the door tightly shut. Everyone stood with great patience. A day went by, and the night had also ushered away to a new day. Yet, they were all still there standing, waiting for the shut door to be opened, bestowing upon them the grace of imperial decree to disperse. But apart from a decree to seal their mouths about the Crown Prince's rebellion and the time of his burial, no other decree was transmitted.
Jing Rong wore a cold expression. He had long lost his focus, looking quite tired.
Beside him, Jing Yi used his elbow to lightly nudge him.
He said in a repressed voice, "Miss Kong is too unfortunate. At first, she was titled as a princess to be married to Qujiang and become an imperial consort. Fate had made her married Jing Hua, but she became a widow less than a day after her wedding. Who could have thought the Crown Prince would have committed suicide. What a twist of fate!"
His tone held a certain ambiguity.
"Is there even a bit of sadness in your heart?" Jing Yi asked.
Jing Rong ignored him. He remained stoic, showing no emotion.
Jing Yi curled his lips in response to Jing Rong's attitude. His head rose slightly, and he squinted his eyes pensively. "With the Crown Prince now dead, who do you think the Crown Prince's position will fall to?"
A treacherous smile spread across his face.
After a long while, Jing Rong looked up and stared straight in front of him. He uttered in a deep voice, "In this lifetime, you can only be a prince."
Hmph!
The sudden declaration shocked Jing Yi a bit, but the emotion quickly passed. Jing Yi smiled coldly and mocked Jing Rong, "I am not like you, wanting to be an idle prince for the rest of his life."
Jing Rong shot him an icy glare as if he wanted to kill him at that instant. Fortunately, his murderous intent was quickly converged and repressed, only his tightened fists could betray his faked calmness.
He faintly spat, "There are times when people will change. The more you can't have something, the more you want it. It just happens that this is the current situation I am going through."
Jing Yi understood right away, and so did Jing Xian next to them.
Jing Yi was about to enter another round of verbal jabs when the door in front of them opened.
Zhang Quan came out and bowed at them. "The Emperor has decreed everyone can retire."
As soon as his words were spoken, he turned around and went back into the Emperor's bedchambers, closing the door behind him.
Exhausted from standing there all day and night, all the officials left in a hurry to get some sleep as soon as the decree came down.
Jing Xian had also reached his limit and returned to Tongren Hall with the support of his eunuch.
Jing Rong also left the palace. He climbed into his carriage.
"Is Your Highness planning to return to the estate or go to Bamboo Creek Garden?" Lang Po asked from outside the carriage.
"To Yuhua Pavilion!" he said cheerlessly.
"Your Highness doesn't intend to see Teacher Ji?" Lang Po reminded him on purpose.
Jing Rong snapped, "This Prince said to go to Yuhua Pavilion."
Grenn’s Rants Corner
The aftermath…
Chapter 304 – The Next Jing Yi
Yuhua Pavillion.
A large crowd gathered and squeezed at the tightly shut gates, peering in anxiously. Why is Yuhua Pavillion closed for business? Several servants made sure that the crowd outside was well-managed, lest they stomp down the gates.
A carriage pulled up several meters from Yuhua Pavillion – Lang Po pulled in the reins, stopping the carriage, then disembarking and creating a path through the masses for Jing Rong to pass through. The servants bowed and quickly let them in through a tiny crack once the two of them reached the gates, before shutting the doors tightly again.
"Where's Mo Ruo?" Jing Rong questioned coldly.
A servant pointed in the direction of the back courtyard worriedly, "Master has not left the back courtyard ever since he returned from the palace last night, he must still be…" Before he could finish, Jing Rong marched towards the courtyard, an unbearable stench of liquor filling the air as he approached his target.
With a wine jug in his hand, Mo Ruo slouched into his seat beneath the large tree beset in the center of the courtyard, countless empty wine jars scattered all around. He was obviously drunk, a stubble growing over his unshaven face, his clothes crumpled and hair in a mess. The same could be said for the courtyard; the tree had been sheared bare by Mo Ruo with his sword, several potted plants had been smashed, dirt and mud smeared over the slate floors.
The servant Ah Li had remained by Mo Ruo's side all night in case he tried something untoward, and even made a failed attempt at persuading him.
Ah'Li welcomed Jing Rong, pleading, "Your Highness, please stop master, ever since Miss Kong Yu died, he…" Ah Li sighed, tears pooling in his eyes, "Master has been very upset and hasn't stopped drinking since yesterday. If this goes on, who knows what could happen? Your Highness, you must help master!"
Jing Rong waved Ah Li away. Ah Li took a longing glance at Mo Ruo as he wiped away his tears and left.
Mo Ruo was still sitting on the floor, drinking himself even further under the table and muttering… It was as if he was drowning himself in a wine barrel, destitute. Jing Rong walked up to Mo Ruo and looked down at him. He squatted down beside him and relieved him of the wine jar, "Enough drinking."
Mo Ruo opened his eyes painfully, Jing Rong's boots entering his blurry vision. He looked up slightly to see Jing Rong's steady gaze. Mo Ruo scoffed, "What else can I do but drink now? In this world, only fine wine will not let me down."
"Mo Ruo…"
又晕晕沉沉看着酒壶，惨笑着说："美酒在手，三分是毒，七分是泪，这话说的一点也没错。" "Hand me my wine," Mo Ruo grabbed the wine jar and poured some into his mouth, dribbling the remainder over his neck and robes. He stared groggily at the jar, laughing pitiably, "Fine wine in hand, three parts poison, seven parts tears – looks like this saying was right."
"I said, stop drinking," Jing Rong snatched the jug from his hands.
"Give it to me!"
Mo Ruo reached out to grab it but Jing Rong quickly hid it behind his back, holding Mo Ruo at shoulder length with his other hand, warning sternly, "I won't stop you if you drink yourself to death, but don't die in front of me."
"I'm not you!" Mo Ruo bellowed, pushing him aside. He steadied himself against the tree trunk behind him and stood up, but his legs gave way beneath him and he fell backwards onto the coarse bark.
Mo Ruo straightened his sleeves as he looked coldly at Jing Rong, "Ever since we were young, she only had you in her heart – never once did she look at me properly. You can pretend that nothing ever happened, but I cannot. Jing Rong, are you not sad at all? Are you really just an unfeeling rock?" Mo Ruo screamed, but Jing Rong clenched his teeth in silence.
With tears in his eyes, Mo Ruo cried out in despair, "Why? What did she do wrong? Why did she have to be dragged into your politics, into the royal family's fight?" He kicked out at a potted plant next to him, smashing it into pieces.
Jing Rong similarly flung the wine jar away, remarking coldly, "Since it has already happened, there is no way to turn back time. Mo Ruo, Kong Yu wouldn't have wanted to see you like this."
"Jing Rong, oh Jing Rong, why aren't you the least bit sad?"
"…"
"We grew up together!"
"She is already dead."
"Bastard!" Mo Ruo clenched his fist and punched towards Jing Rong's left cheek, but in his drunken stupor his fist was weak and easily deflected by Jing Rong, who pinned him against the large tree behind them.
"Did you think I was not sad? There is no time for me to mourn right now."
"…"
"Mo Ruo, I have now been pushed to walk a path I have never desired; it is a long journey, so long that I have no time for grief. The person I am most sorry towards in this lifetime is Kong Yu alone – I promise, I will make the person who caused all this pain pay for his crimes." Jing Rong was murderous, determined.
Mo Ruo was shaken sober by Jing Rong's statement, the ache in his heart grew stronger and he laughed ironically. Jing Rong loosened his grip on Mo Ruo, who lost his balance and slowly slid down to the ground against the tree. He placed a hand on his knees, laughing towards the sky, "We are all pawns – it is all our fault!"
It was so! In this faction war, Kong Yu was indeed just a pawn; if she were not, she would not have been crowned 'Princess' in Jing Xuan's stead, much less marry the Crown Prince in Ji Muqing's place. Then, she would not have died!
Jing Rong raised his eyebrows and narrowed his eyes, "The best way to not become pawns is to become the one who moves them – I should have understood this principle a long time ago."
Mo Ruo raised his gaze to meet his, "Jing Rong, can you promise me one thing? Promise me that you do not become the next Jing Yi."
Jing Rong clenched his fists, "I promise you."
As Mo Ruo settled and calmed down, he told Jing Rong softly, "Kong Yu met Ji Yunshu before she died."
Jing Rong was shocked. His eyes widened, "What did they discuss?"
Mo Ruo shook his head, continuing, "Ji Yunshu also met Old General Li outside the city gates the day he left the Capital. If you want to find your answers, then pay her a visit."
Jing Rong was unsure. Mo Ruo slowly dropped his head, muttering, "Jing Rong, no matter what she has hidden from you, you must trust her."
Jing Rong finally left, leaving Mo Ruo on the stone-cold floor for a very long time…
Grenn’s Rants Corner
The title is a bit ominous, but it will end not too bad hopefully.