"I've never stopped caring, Ivan. I've learned grief is a natural part of life. But it should never consume you, as I once allowed it to consume me. Remember that on your two hundredth birthday, or when your mortal friends have all passed."
"I have very few mortal friends."
She clasped a hand in his. "Safer that way. So what are you up to? No task this evening?"
"I've a bit of a puzzle, and I'm hoping you'd have some information. But first, I have some good news for you. I hope you'll think it's good news."
"Shoot."
"It's about the love spell that brought you and Dad together." Ivan sensed his mother tense up beside him, so he quickly explained. "I saw the original spell in the Grande Grimoire."
"She showed it to you? But that should never-"
"Mom, just listen. I wanted to learn the truth, to know what I've always suspected. That you and Dad were never to blame for what you think has made me the fixer."
"But Ivan, we-"
"Did Himself ever tell you who the spell was originally intended for?"
"No, but-"
"Because it was always intended for the phoenix vampire and the witch slayer. Both of you. Himself orchestrated bringing the two of you together with the intention of creating some sort of super vampire with incredible powers. Me. All the better to serve Himself with."
"The grimoire revealed this? Are you sure, Ivan?"
The hope in her voice gave Ivan the resolution he had craved over the years. "Yes, Mother. It was not your fault."
She exhaled. Taking it in, surely. "You're not just saying that?"
"I don't lie easily, you know that."
"Oh, Ivan, this should make me feel better, but you know I still grieve your pain. When your father agreed to offer his firstborn's soul, he believed fully he would never have a child because he didn't want to spread the vampire taint to an innocent. And I, well, I was no better."
"Let's not speak of it ever again. Please? We should constantly strive to move forward, never looking back, for we cannot change the past."
"How did you get to be such an amazing person?"
"My parents." He leaned over and kissed the crown of his mother's head. "You gave me heart."
"And I curse myself every day for it." "What? Why?"
"Ivan, were you not so caring perhaps it would be easier to bear your bane. I never thought much about that until I saw how you suffer at Himself's whim. I wish I had raised you differently. More...indifferent."
"Really?"
"Yes. No. Oh, hell. You're a great man, Ivan. It makes me so proud every time I look at you."
"Mom, you're embarrassing me."
"That's my job. Besides, I was never allowed to be a PTA mom or a dance chaperone, so you gotta let me take my props when I can."
"All right. I think I can live with a little embarrassment now and then. But I've something else to ask you. How well do you know Himself?"
She shrugged. "Not well, and let's keep it that way."
"Did you know he was once in love?"
"Ha!" Ravin slapped her knee and gave Ivan a shove. "You're dreaming."
"I should be, but he told me the story of being in love with a woman who was that close to becoming his bride. She loved him back, or so he claims."
"Yeah? Who was she? Medusa?"
"Mom."
"Ivan, I know Himself appears to people as their greatest temptation, but love is pushing it a bit far."
"I wouldn't know. He's only ever appeared to me in his true form."
"What?" Sudden worry in her dark eyes surprised Ivan. Rarely did his mother lose her cool. "You've never told me that. Ivan, that's, it must be...oh my Goddess."
"I'm used to it. In fact, I'm glad it's not any other way. Couldn't imagine doing what I've done for something that resembles a gorgeous woman. That's one ugly son of a bitch."
"Goddess help me and my son."
"Mom, listen. Himself has given me a chance to have my soul."
"He's a liar. Don't trust him, Ivan."
"I know that, but what he wants in exchange is enough to make me believe he may be true to the bargain. Supposedly this woman he loved is still alive. He wants me to bring her to him. And then he'll give me the Grande Grimoire."
"It's gone?"
Hell. He shouldn't have revealed that. Ivan made to stand, but his mother tugged him back down and put an insistent hand on his knee."Did that idiot witch hand it over to Himself?"
"Mother, watch your blood pressure."
"I don't have a blood pressure problem. But I do have a problem with stupid women kowtowing to Himself."
Ivan lifted a brow, but didn't remark that his mother had experienced a rather idiotic moment with Himself when she was younger.
"She did it to save my life. Out of love."
"Oh." Ravin sat back. Then she sat upright. "Really? But you're virtually indestructible."
"Himself was ripping my insides out and allowing them to spew onto the floor. I still don't think my intestines are back in order."
"Ah." His mother laid her head on his shoulder. "I can't hate a woman who tries to protect my son. Even if she may have sacrificed the entire witch nation in the process."
"Himself doesn't want to unravel all the spells. Maybe a few. Every day I don't find his bride, he's going to undo a handful of them. But not the Protection spell. He wants the two nations to go at it and rip each other to shreds."
"Asshole."
"You always call them as they are, Mom. So that's what I'm asking you. Do you have any idea who this woman could be? My master isn't telling."
"I don't know. I've never heard tales or rumors of such a remarkable thing. But I can ask around."
"Please do. I'll keep my cell phone on. Time is key. I've got to run. There are imps to interrogate and all sorts of dark denizens to pummel for information."
"I hope you find the right one." Ravin followed him to the front door. "For you to win your freedom from Himself would be the world to me."
He leaned in and kissed his mother's forehead. "It'll happen. Tell Dad I said 'Hey.'"
The gray-limbed imp hit the concrete wall with a satisfying splat. Tongue lolling and eyes bulging, the creature began to peel away its shoulder from the hard surface when Ivan punched it in the general region where he expected a gut should be.
"Mercy!"
"No mercy for a miserable imp." Ivan twisted his fist.
"We have the same master. What did me do to piss you off?"
"You breathe."
"Not actually-yeow! All right, already, what you want? Himself in love? Never heard something so ludicrous."
"You've been with Himself for three centuries, Malavarious Stout. You'd better not be lying to me."
Sensing with a bit more pressure on the gut, the imp's eyes would actually pop from their sockets, Ivan adjusted his torque. He didn't want to destroy the thing, just cause it excruciating pain.
"Black David tells me you used to serve Himself in his lair." "Black David is goblin and goblins suck dirt!"
"You'll be eating dirt if you don't spit out answers right now."
"There was a girl once!"
"And?" Ivan slammed his forearm across the long neck of the thing, choking off its air. "What was her name?"
"Me never have names. She was slut. One time. I think she went insane. Died pulling out hair and eating insects like candy."
"There must have been another you recall. Someone who caused Himself no small amount of frustration? Lovesickness?"
"Nope. No silly love birds for that dude. Though...Paris?"
Now he was getting somewhere.
"What about Paris?"
"Me wasn't there with him then, but he did talk about Paris. That splendid time, Himself say. Strange thing to hear from His Darkness. That's all me got, fixer. Now let go!"
Ivan wrapped his fingers about the imp's neck and flung it down the alleyway. It hit a trio of aluminum garbage cans. The thing scampered away on all fours, cursing Ivan in a language he associated with evil, for it was a wicked tongue.
"Paris, eh?"
Striding down the alley, he pondered a trip across the ocean.
His cell phone jingled. Ivan shuffled in his pocket for the iPhone. Mom. "Find anything?"
"All I've got for you is the nineteenth century," she said.
"And Paris," he said. "Didn't you spend some time in Paris in the nineteenth century?"
"Toward the end. I was a bit of a bohemian. But the only devil I dealt with back then was absinthe. Nasty stuff. Sorry I couldn't have been more help, Ivan, but the witches I asked didn't have anything, either. Although..."
"It's a great help, Mom. I think I'm off to Paris. I hate to leave while things are so volatile."
"They're volatile everywhere. You can get a read on the vampire/witch relations in France while you're there and report back to me. The sooner we can get our hands on the Grande Grimoire, the better."
"But the problem remains. We still won't be able to reverse the spell. Not without the original creator."
"I have my suspicions about that. You going straight to the airport, or you stopping by to see your girlfriend first?"
"She's not my girlfriend."
"She saved your life," Ravin intoned hopefully.
"She's a lover, all right? And I don't want to talk about this with my mom."
"Okay, but you should have a talk with her before you leave. Trust me, son. It's an intuition. Bye." Chapter 18 T here wasn't much he needed to pack for Paris. Ivan was accustomed to traveling the world-at Himself's bidding-and so was equipped with a million-dollar-limit credit card and an amazing capability to overcome jet lag. Must be because he needed little sleep. But the long flights did drive him stir-crazy.
His parents owned an apartment in the Seventh Arrondissement in Paris, and he had free rein to use it as he wished.
He tugged on a clean muscle shirt and padded out to the living room. Steam from the shower misted apple scent throughout the apartment. He had thought about stopping by a bookstore on the way to the airport, but he found the tattered copy of Mervyn Peake's Gormenghast under the bed. He'd been working on that book for decades.
With iPhone in hand, he could catch his e-mail and have all his contacts literally in his palm. And he'd uploaded a copy of Le Pacte Des Loups, the French werewolf movie, and Dangerous Liaisons to watch in case the book grew tiring.
Ready to leave, Ivan cast about his apartment, ensuring all lights were switched off. He didn't want to step off this continent until he'd talked to Dez. Was she still angry with him? Or rather, at her need to protect him, which had inadvertently resulted in dire consequences?
"Of course she is," he muttered.
He wasn't sure how to approach their situation. Did they have a situation? Even with her warning a relationship could never be, he still liked to think so.
While Dez seemed able to brush off their antics as a casual afternoon, he could not. Learning her body now made him more eager to learn her heart and soul. They were two alike. He just needed to convince her of it.
Switching off the air conditioning and grabbing his wallet and a small carry-on bag, Ivan opened the front door-and walked right into Dez.
A fall of hair swished across one green eye and she flipped it aside with a twist of finger. That small motion stirred Ivan's desire.