"You are not welcome here," John proclaimed, as he stepped in front of the door. "I can't believe you would have the nerve to show your face after all you've done."
Tony saw Clay sitting inconspicuously in a nearby waiting area and shook his head in his direction. He would handle this on his own. Ignoring the daggered stares of his ex-sister-in-law, Tony stopped within a few feet of John. "I want to see her."
"I don't care what you want. I don't even know how you learned that she's awake, but you're not going near her."
Emily backed her husband. "She doesn't want to see you."
Making no aggressive movements, Tony ignored Emily and continued with John. "I suggest we ask Claire."
"I'll call the police," Emily said, as a crowd began to gather. Tony recognized Amber from Simon's funeral, but he didn't know or care about the identity of the man by her side. Baldwin was missing from their group.
John interrupted with a tone of superiority, "I'm sure Mr. Rawlings doesn't want it to come to that. After all, we'd hate for him to go to jail-unnecessarily. Leave now, before-"
Claire's door opened, silencing the growing crowd as Baldwin emerged from within. Tony's chin lifted indignantly, knowing that Baldwin had been where he wanted to be.
Harrison Baldwin spoke, "John, stop! Claire wants to see Mr. Rawlings."
Emily gasped before she said, "I haven't even seen her yet. She's my sister."
"Claire wants to see him, now," Baldwin repeated.
Tony shifted his gaze from John Vandersol to Harrison Baldwin, and replied, "Thank you, Mr. Baldwin." He then offered Harrison his hand, and the two men shook as John and Emily turned away. Tony hoped that he and Claire would be granted privacy, but Baldwin followed him into her room. Clenching his jaw, Tony summoned his courage as he assessed his ex-wife. He'd prepared himself for the worse. She was bruised and battered, one eye in particular was darkened; however, that wasn't what he saw-he saw the emerald glow as a tear trickled down her cheek. When Tony's gaze met Claire's, the rest of the world disappeared. Before him he saw the spark he'd feared was gone.
Relief opened the floodgate to rage. Red seeped from the corners of the room as Tony imagined someone doing this to her. Breaking his trance and the deafening silence, Claire spoke. Her words were a reminder that Baldwin was still present. "Please give us a moment alone, Harry. I promise I'll be fine."
Tony turned to the young man, summoned his public persona, and said, "Mr. Baldwin, I will only stay as long as Claire allows."
After a moment of staring at Tony, Baldwin stepped toward Claire and squeezed her hand. Tony tried to ignore their familiar interaction, as Baldwin said, "I'm right on the other side of that door."
"Thank you," she replied. "For everything."
After a prolonged stare at Claire, and then again at Tony, Baldwin silently opened the door, allowing the protests of Claire's family to infiltrate the room. Her family's words barely registered over Tony's anger, as the memories of her accident intermingled with the new source of his red. Claire's voice came like a lifeline, pulling him from the downward spiral. "I'm so glad you're here."
He took her hand, noticing her moist cheeks, and said, "The last time I saw you like this..."
"I'm all right."
Tony refocused his anger, his threat sounding more like a growl. "If that son-of-a-bitch weren't dead, I'd kill him myself."
"Tony, we are both okay."
His eyes opened wide; the hours of tension and worry fled from his muscles, leaving him momentarily stunned. "I haven't been able to get any specific information. I just assumed-"
Claire interrupted, "The doctor was just here. She said our baby is fine."
Her words overwhelmed him, causing his vision to blur. It was too much; their baby was all right. His baby-her baby. Tony didn't realize how much he truly wanted this child until that moment. He paced near the end of her bed, allowing his thoughts to settle. Finally, he spoke, "Claire, just like your accident, this is my fault, too." She shook her head, but he continued, "I don't know how Chester found you or knew of our connection. I don't even know how he knew me. I knew him when I was Anton." He moved closer and started to reach for her chin, but stopped, afraid that if he touched her, he'd hurt her. "And now look at what he's done."
Claire reached for his hand and lifted it to her face, completing the contact he sought. "Thank you for coming. I feel so much better having you here."
As her face inclined to his touch, Tony's forehead fell to her chest, and he sighed with relief. "I knew my presence wouldn't be welcome. I've been waiting on another floor for word of your waking."
She smiled. "Yes, I heard your welcoming committee."
He looked into her eyes, and his voice hardened with each phrase. "When you're well enough to travel, you're coming home where you'll be safe, and where Catherine can take care of you."
Claire's eyes narrowed. "That didn't sound like a question."
He returned her glare. "It shouldn't. I would hate to mislead you; it wasn't."
Claire exhaled. "Chester is dead-no more danger."
Tony leaned closer. "Are you seriously going to argue about this, covered in bruises, and carrying my baby?"
Defiantly, she raised her chin and kissed his pursed lips. "Not right now," she mused. "Let me get some rest and get a little stronger. Then I will."
"Good." He kissed her again. "I look forward to it." Squeezing her hand, he continued, "We don't know if Patrick Chester was working alone. Until we find out and locate your laptop, this isn't negotiable."
Claire sighed. "I need some sleep for this headache to go away, and then I'll respond with the appropriate cheekiness for you."
Tony grinned. "Even looking like you do, I think you're sexy as hell." He gently kissed her forehead. "Do you think now is a good time to tell your entourage our news?"
Claire looked down. "No, they know." Tony's eyebrows went up as Claire continued, "The doctor told Harry before I woke. He told everyone else."
Red once again threatened. "Why would the doctor tell him?"
"She assumed he was the father."
Tony tried to process. "And does he assume that as well?"
Shyly, she replied, "Yes."
If she'd slapped him, he couldn't have stood faster. Suddenly, Tony's envelope ripped open and the relief he'd just experienced evaporated. "You got what you gave." Tony searched for the source of Nathaniel's voice as he paced around the hospital room. "You got what you gave." He could hear the words as plain as day. The divorce was his doing-not hers. He had a chance for happiness staring at him from behind a bruised face. Would he let this news steal it away and leave him again with nothing? When Tony turned back to Claire, her eyes were closed and her head rested against the pillow. She'd said she had a headache. He knew he should let her rest, but first Tony needed confirmation. "You're sure that I'm the father?"
Emerald green filled his vision, as she replied without hesitation. "Yes, you were at the condominium two weeks before Harry and I-well, at the ultrasound, the doctor said the heartbeat isn't detectable until six weeks. If he were the father, I would've barely been five weeks along-at that time, I was seven." She reached out to him and after only a moment of hesitation, Tony stepped forward and took her hand. Claire went on, "Tony, I didn't know we were together until you confirmed it at the gala. I remembered it, but I'd convinced myself it was a dream."
He sighed and resumed his seat on her bedside. "You were very tired, but you were talking. You mentioned something about a dream. I may be guilty of taking advantage of a tired woman, but nothing else."
"How did you get back in the condo? I remember closing and locking the door."
"You closed it, but you didn't lock it, or it didn't lock. I came back to say something, and I heard something fall. It sounded like it broke. I listened, but I didn't hear anything else, so I decided to check on you. The door opened." He confessed, "I didn't knock. When I walked in you were asleep on the couch, so I carried you to your bedroom. I can say with honorable intentions, but that wouldn't be entirely true. Claire, I asked you multiple times. You never said no."
She sighed. "I remember wanting you. I'd spent half the night dreaming about you until I gave up and stayed awake. That's why I was so tired."
The red dissipated as green prevailed. "You dreamt about me?"
"Yes, it was after our dinner. I hadn't seen you since... the jail in Iowa."
He softly kissed her lips and asked again, "You dreamt about me?"
Claire smirked. "Yes, you egotistical narcissist. I did."
"I've dreamt about you, too. I think it may have something to do with seeing your beautiful face above my fireplace every night before I fall asleep."
The door opened, and a nurse entered. "I'm sorry, sir, Ms. Nichols needs her rest. I'm closing her door to visitors for a while."
Tony stood with Claire's hand still in his. "What about...?" he asked.
"I'll tell them. I was about to tell Harry when you showed up."
Tony turned to the nurse. "How long is a while?"
She looked to Claire. Claire's answer told Tony everything he wanted to know. Nothing else mattered. "I want Mr. Rawlings here whenever possible."
Brightness filled his world with a brilliance he'd never known. With Claire's entire family a few feet away, she said that she wanted him. It wasn't like before-it wasn't his mandate. No, this was her choice, and without warning, she'd laid it on the line. The deep lines of worry and stress momentarily left Tony's eyes, as soft chocolate saw only Claire. No longer was the world a threat to their relationship. It surrounded them, but they were safe and secure within a bubble of their choices and decisions. The nurse's voice returned Tony to the present as she answered, "Let her sleep through the night."
Tony nodded. "I can do that." He smiled as he bent down and kissed Claire. "I'll be back in the morning."
"Good. I think you look like you could use some sleep, too." Her emerald eyes glistened through her bruised face.
Turning toward the door, Tony saw the five sets of glaring eyes watching their good-bye. Her family remained silent as he politely passed their human wall. With Claire's words ringing in his ears, he smugly walked the gauntlet. Despite their objections, Claire wanted him. Therefore, he would be there, and when she was better, she would be in Iowa. Until they found that laptop, they weren't taking any chances.
Late Wednesday afternoon, Claire's doctor released her from the hospital and gave her a referral in Iowa City. Tony had planned on driving her directly to the airport and getting her to the safety of his estate; however, Claire refused. She didn't refuse the impending trip. It was that she wanted to gather some of her things before they left. Tony promised to have everything sent, but she wanted to do it herself.
As they entered Amber's quiet condominium, Tony remembered emptying Claire's apartment in Atlanta. He suddenly understood why this was important to her. She hadn't had the chance to do it then, or even after she was arrested. Again, that had been Tony. Although she didn't mention the other two moves, Tony suspected that her lack of control in the past, helped facilitate the need she now possessed. Nevertheless, neither one of them was prepared for the sight of her bedroom. Drawers emptied and contents strewn across the floor. Clothes and shoes pulled from her closet; even the bed was disheveled. When they entered, Claire stood paralyzed, looking at the debris. Tony considered again offering to hire someone to clean and pack, but the look in her eyes told him that it was something she needed to do. Biting back his offer, Tony hugged her reassuringly and asked if he could help. Together they righted the wrong that Chester had done. In the grand scheme, it wasn't much, yet as the room began to take shape, Claire's determination returned.
As they were finishing her room, building security called to confirm that she was home to receive a delivery. After the flowers at the hospital came addressed to Claire Nichols Rawls with the strange note that read: I've learned that you are well... But now, there's another body to add to the count...
They should have been on guard. Tony should've received the delivery; instead, it was Claire. This time it was also flowers, and the card was again addressed to Claire Nichols Rawls. When Claire called out for Tony and he read the name on the envelope, he emphatically ordered the deliveryman to take them away.
As upsetting as the name was to both of them, what deflated Tony's lungs and returned red to his vision were the contents of the envelope-nothing, it was empty. Though he tried to hide his anguish and assure himself that it wasn't the fulfillment of his dream, he couldn't contain the emotion from his own voice. "I'll find out who's doing this, I promise."
After a moment, Claire stood straighter and nodded. Although he admired her strength, watching her hold back tears was almost too much. When she started to walk past him toward her room, Tony seized her arm and stopped her movement. Indignantly, Claire looked up at him. His voice echoed against the long hallway and wooden floors. "You are not staying here another night." Despite him sounding to the contrary, Tony was exercising all the self-restraint he possibly could. Claire's bruise-covered face, pained expression, and the empty envelope had him on the edge of sanity. Obviously, the person with the laptop was warning them that he wasn't done. Tony's proclamation wasn't debatable.
Thankfully, Claire understood. "I know. I want to finish packing."
This POV was originally written as a gift to my amazing readers in the Goodreads Group: The Consequences Series Group Reads, Therapy, and Hugs. I wrote it as a thank you when that group reached 1000 members. At last check, that amazing group has surpassed 4000 members!
There is no doubt. I have the greatest readers in the world!
The version you're about to read has been tweaked and edited for Behind His Eyes Truth.
Thank you for joining me on this dark and insightful journey.
~Aleatha Love is about giving freedom and power, not about gaining control or possession.
-Jeffrey Fry Tony steered the rental car through the now familiar streets of Palo Alto. Glancing toward the passenger's seat, he couldn't help but grin. Somewhere between the last stoplight and now, Claire had fallen fast asleep. With all she'd been through in the last few days and, of course, her condition, she had every right to be exhausted. Tony understood. Lately, exhaustion had become his norm. He hadn't had a good night's sleep since he was with Claire in Iowa. He definitely hadn't had one in the last few days. Truthfully, he didn't anticipate having one for a while. There were just too many unanswered questions and too much uncertainty. Focusing on the road before him, Tony contemplated the recent events.
It seemed like a lifetime ago, but in actuality it had only been six days since Claire had come to Iowa, not just Iowa, but to the estate. Reaching to his right, Tony gently brushed her hair away from her sleeping face. Through the dimly lit interior, Claire's features came into focus and his smile quickly faded. Though difficult to see by the dashboard light, the swelling near her eye was no longer red. Now, it was blue. He knew from experience it would change to purple, green, and then yellow before it faded away. Tony wished with all his might that he didn't know that information, that he hadn't seen her face this way before, and that neither one of them had those memories.
Refocusing on the road, Tony pushed the thoughts of her accident away. This wasn't the time. They had too many other issues at the moment. The most pressing was getting Claire back to Iowa. Tony chastised himself. If he'd only kept her there in the first place. If he'd never paid off Chester. If he could start his whole damn life over. None of that was possible. Besides, when did Anthony Rawlings have regrets? He reminded himself: regrets don't solve problems-actions do.
By God, Tony was taking action! Tomorrow Claire was going with him to Iowa, and he would move heaven and earth to find out who'd sent the flowers with the name Rawls. Thankfully, Claire had agreed. This wasn't like the first time. They both knew the estate was the safest place; however, if she woke in the morning with a changed mind... Tony wasn't against forceful persuasion. Her safety was not debatable.
Hearing Claire groan, he turned, seeing her shift in the seat and wince. Slowing the car for a red light, Tony reached over and pushed the button to fully recline her chair. He watched as she settled against the soft leather and her expression relaxed.
The car behind him honked, alerting Tony that the light had changed. Pushing the gas pedal, he thought about how it wasn't only the light that had changed: his whole life, her whole life had too. They were going to have a baby! He'd experienced many life-altering events, but none of them had hit him like that news. Everything in his life was planned. Well, everything up until Claire and that ultrasound picture. After she left for California, he'd stared at it for hours. It didn't look like anything really, mostly fuzz, but it was a part of him. How could someone he'd never met, who didn't have a name, and whom he couldn't even visualize, have captured his heart so completely?
Then with Roach's call, Tony's life stood still. Phillip Roach hadn't kept Claire safe. It wasn't as if Tony expected miracles from the man, but how difficult was it to keep a psychopath away from Claire?
As Tony pulled the car into the hotel's garage, he remembered his relief when he entered her hospital room and saw Claire sitting up and awake. Yes, she was bruised and battered; however, he didn't see the red and blue colors. No, all he saw was green-the most beautiful, sparkling green eyes in the world.
Walking around to Claire's side of the car, Tony thought God help the person who tries to stop me from keeping them safe. As he opened her door, he bent down and kissed her cheek. Instantaneously, he was once again peering into seas of emerald. Despite the week from hell, a smile came to his lips and he said, "I'd gladly carry you to my suite, but I'm afraid we'd attract more attention than either of us wants."
"I'm pretty sure I can walk." Claire gripped Tony's hand as she stepped from the car. Although she tried to pretend it didn't exist, pain radiated behind her gaze as her jaw clenched and body tensed with the effort of standing. Before he could speak, she continued, "I could do this alone, but I'm so thankful I don't have to." Unexpectedly, she tilted her face toward his and gave him a fleeting kiss. "Thank you."
He contemplated telling her how none of this would've happened if she'd just stayed in Iowa. The words were right there, wanting to come out; instead, he tenderly wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into his embrace. Nearing his lips to her ear, he whispered, "Thank you for letting me."
She didn't respond verbally; the squeezing of his hand as she molded against his side was enough. Tony scanned each corner of the quiet garage as they walked toward the elevator. Until they recovered Claire's laptop, there was no guarantee of safety. Tony was certain that Chester's accomplice was the one sending the flowers. They'd accessed Claire's information on her computer and now this person was setting them up. The question was what did he want? Was it money to keep the past buried? Would he try to finish what Chester started? Tony didn't know, and that uncertainty was hell.
When the elevator doors opened to an empty lift, Tony let out his breath. Every face and every person was suspect. Tony refused to trust anyone until he had Claire home. Silence prevailed until they entered the presidential suite and Tony scanned the empty living room. Dark sky filled the large windows with lights from below. The view reminded him of the late hour. "Perhaps we should order some food?" he asked.
"I just want a shower and some sleep," Claire replied, as she walked toward the bedroom.
Tony secured the locks on the suite door and watched Claire disappear into the bedroom. Although he'd love to help her with that shower, an overwhelming sense of relief caused him to stagger forward. It was the first time since Roach's call that Tony had felt a semblance of control. Whether it was the helplessness of the thousands of miles of distance, the inability to visit her hospital room and know her condition, or the dead ends regarding the sender of the threatening flowers, the sense of impotence was stifling. For days and nights, every muscle and fiber of his being had been wound tight. No wonder he hadn't been able to sleep.
Entering the bedroom, Tony heard the shower running and saw the light stream from the bathroom across the darkened carpet. Nearing the slightly ajar door, he fought the urge to open it wider when his shoes encountered something on the floor. It was Claire's jeans-no, not just her jeans. On the floor near the bed were all of Claire's clothes, lying in a pile, left behind, as if she'd evaporated into thin air. His heart clenched at the thought; he wouldn't lose her again.
The warm steam infiltrated the coolness of the air-conditioned room as he reached for her jeans. Nestled within the denim was a pair of lace panties. It wasn't a conscious decision, more a reflex; nonetheless, without thinking, Tony fingered the small bow and inhaled her scent.
The relief, which moments earlier had filled his tired body, vanished, and memories of the last terrible week came crashing down, buckling his knees, and forcing him to sit on the edge of the king-sized bed. His mind swirled with questions: What if Chester had succeeded? What if Claire had died? Roach was supposed to keep her safe! Tony swore he'd never entrust that job to anyone else, ever again. Why hadn't Claire listened? He told her he wanted her with him in Iowa-only there could he ensure her safety. Relentlessly gripping the lace, his mind relived the phone calls: first with Roach and then with Baldwin.
Baldwin. Harrison Baldwin. Harry.
Tony looked down at the twisted lace in his hands and threw it to the ground with a sigh. If he'd held it any longer, he probably would have torn the panties to shreds. Pacing about the dark room, he listened to the repetitive beat of the water from the nearby shower as the floral scent of shampoo penetrated the air around him. If he went into the bathroom now he'd most definitely scare Claire away. Hell, the rage rushing through his veins frightened him; he couldn't let her see it.
The cause of this bubbling fury wasn't only Chester. It wasn't just the threat of someone else, some accomplice. Those were beyond Claire's control. After all, Chester went after Claire because of him. Just like the accident, the attack was his fault. They would find this accomplice, and in the meantime, Claire would be safe in Iowa.
What accelerated Tony's heartbeat and dyed the room a sickening shade of crimson was in Claire's control. It had been. Tony acknowledged that she didn't ask to be Chester's target; however, she had willingly accepted Harrison Baldwin's advances.
The sound of silence overtook the room. Claire had turned off the shower. The sudden stillness pulled Tony from his internal tirade. Somewhere within his senses he acknowledged that his anger toward her wasn't fair. After all, he divorced her. Nevertheless, as he stood silently in the dark bedroom waiting for the bathroom door to open, his mind filled with thoughts of her with him. His back straightened and muscles tensed as he prepared for the confrontation. If she entered the room now, it was meant to happen.
Claire didn't emerge. The sound of water running in the sink came to his ears. Closing his eyes, images of her with Baldwin ran loops through his mind. Tony knew what it was like to be with Claire. In these new images, he replaced himself with Baldwin. The temperature of the room continued to rise.
How could she?
The realization hit him. What was he thinking? Was he seriously going to confront Claire in her condition? Not only was she healing from an assault, she was pregnant with his child. His child! Their child!
Abruptly, he turned toward the hall, exited the bedroom, and closed the door. In his heart of hearts, Tony knew the confrontation should never occur. It would not end well. If he wanted Claire in Iowa-willingly-he'd have to accept the past and move on. That was much more difficult to do than say. His whole life had been about the past. What had that given him? Nothing. An empty envelope. Now they had hope of a future-if he didn't ruin it.