When I was younger, there was something my father would often say at the dinner table.
"Ho Yung, what do you dream of being?"
I answered.
"A soccer player. I want to be an amazing player like Ji Suk Park."
My father would reply.
"If you want to be a soccer player, you need to have talent. I think that you, Ho Yung, have talent like no other."
He was right.
Back then, I believed that my father was right.
That I had a special talent.
Everyone in my neighbourhood agreed.
They said that Ho Yung was a soccer whiz. That he needed to be raised professionally.
The year was 2002.
In the aftermath of the semi-finals of the 2002 world cup, the interest in soccer skyrocketed. I took all the anticipation and excitement of the grownups and kicked a ball.
But I then realised.
The belief that I was a naturally talented soccer phenomenon was just a delusion.
Year 3.
After entering the soccer team, I felt a huge obstacle on my path.
The kids who were better than me.
I couldn't compare to the other kids that had been raised and trained professionally. Moreover, my small body made it so that I would be swept over by other players before I could even touch the ball.
But one day, the coach talked to me.
"Let's go over there to the left and train separately, Ho Yung."
The place I was taken to was a group of under-average kids.
I was scared.
I felt like an impassable wall was blocking my way.
And just like that, my passion faded, and as if I was running away, I quit the soccer team.
I gave up.
When I got home, I wept.
While consoling me, my father spoke.
"Ho Yung. Every flower blooms at a different time. Just because the sapling shows first doesn't mean that the flower will bloom first too."
At the time, I didn't understand what my father was saying.
I was just relieved at the fact that I was freed of the fear I had felt and let it all out while eating the fried chicken mum had ordered for me.
I relieved myself with the truth that I was just freed by the fear, and let it all out while eating the chicken that my mother had ordered.
Reminiscing, I feel a lot of things.
I wonder what would've happened if I hadn't given up?
Did I really have any talent?
If I had put in an excruciating amount of effort, would the flower have bloomed and bore fruit?
"Hey, Hobbang. Why are you suddenly talking to yourself? Are you already drunk?"
The place radiated heavy tranquillity - a bar.
Ho Yung, who was briefly immersed in thought, raised a glass to his elementary school classmate, Yong Soo Lee.
"It's nothing. Anyway, congrats on your employment."
"You congratulated me earlier, no need to do it again."
"When else would I do it? You gotta congratulate people a lot when something good happens."
The reason I was here was to congratulate Yong Soo.
This friend, who played soccer, recently got recruited into the job recruitment team.
Slurp.
The alcohol was sour.
The year was 2016 and Ho Yung was 24. It was frustrating to be working part-time at a convenience store while seeing his best friend suddenly start moving up in life.
'I want to be a soccer player too.'
I'm a fool. I shouldn't have quit back then.
"If you kept playing soccer, you would be playing with Messi and Ronaldo by now."
"Cut the crap. I would have already won the Ballon d'Or. And what's the point of regretting it? It's already too late."
Ho Yung had lived with regret from elementary school all the way through to the present.
I shouldn't have left soccer as a hobby, I shouldn't have run away!
It was the regret of his lifetime.
Of course, there were many more chances to try again later.
But at the thought of "it's too late", he only repeated the same regret in his head.
'I want to go back. I want to go back to the past. I want to start again… you idiot!'
As Ho Yung battled with his inner turmoil, Yong Soo spoke after fiddling with his phone.
"Hey, do you want to go for a kick right now? Sang Ho was looking urgently for two players. Four vs Four Futsal."
"Now?"
As he looked outside, he saw that it was raining.
But that didn't matter.
Because Ho Yung was crazy for soccer.
"Sure."
"Hey~it's been a while!"
Ho Yung called out to his elementary school classmates after arriving at a nearby outdoors Futsal stadium.
They were friends that he used to play soccer with, but one of them caught his eye.
"Of course Jung Ho Yoon doesn't even greet me."
Jung Ho Yoon.
As a professional player, he had enough talent to receive the Cha Bum Kun Football Award.
He was skilled enough for people to wonder if he was of lineage to Juu Hyung Park, however, he had to stop his career due to an injury.
He had a few fights with Ho Yung when they were younger, so their relationship wasn't a good one, and it looked like he still had that same hate.
Ho Yung just ignored it.
"Hey, it's starting to rain more! Why did we come here, we should've gone to an indoors pitch."
"It was all full. Let's have one game before it starts to pour."
The match was created in a hurry.
It was a 4 vs 4, first team to 5 goals wins.
"Hey, Hobbang! You go!"
As always, the best player for today was Ho Yung.
When he followed his father to his soccer club, they knew him as the one who gets the most goals.
He hadn't learnt professionally before, but his technique and stamina were all above average.
He was at the standard where you could say that he could play quite well.
But he was still nothing compared to a previous professional player.
"Ah!"
As soon as Ho Yung became unmarked, Jung Ho tackled the ball out of his possession as fast as lightning, as if he was waiting for the opportunity.
As the corner of his mouth went up, he mocked Ho Yung.
'That bastard.'
The same thing kept happening later on.
He created space between the two on purpose and used his speed to tackle Ho Yung and gain possession of the ball.
It was an obvious tactic, but even if he knew it was coming, there was no way to prevent it.
Because professional players were different.
But, Ho Yung wanted a situation like this to happen.
Soccer with standards.
'Jung Ho Yoon. Today, I will break through you.'
He was constantly blocked by the attacks but that only drove him to try harder.
After seeing Ho Yung in this state, Jung Ho tried to provoke him.
"What standard."
He flashed a smirk.
And at that moment,
Boom!
Jung Ho aimed the shot at Ho Yung and let loose.
The ball, which had picked up a spinning momentum, slammed into Ho Yung's knee and bounced out of the Futsal pitch.
Unable to contain his anger, Ho Yung pounced at Jung Ho.
"Don't joke around, you bastard."
His height was only 170cm, but he had a personality that didn't let him cower in any situation.
Sensing a fight brewing, the others separated the two.
"Ugh… I'll let it pass for now. Go get the ball. It bounced off your foot last."
"Bastard."
After leaving the insult, Ho Yung stepped outside of the pitch to retrieve the ball. He saw the ball laying in the rain. Without a second thought, he reached his hand out towards the ball to get it.
"...?!"
A great flash of light spilt onto him.
"AAAHHHHH!!"
Boom!
Thunder rang out across all of Seoul.
And just like that, Ho Yung was struck and killed by lightning.
"AAHHHHH!"
Death by lightning!
He had heard somewhere that around 200 people died by lightning strikes each year in the US. He died despite those ridiculous statistics, so he felt it was justified to scream and wail
Because it was unfair.
He hadn't even done anything wrong, and he was already dead.
They said that everyone's equal in the face of death, but he felt that this was ridiculously unfair - should it even be allowed for a person to die such a meaningless death?
"Take me back!! I said take me back!!"
After screaming for a while, a question arose.
"Where am I?"
The Futsal stadium that he had been standing in moments earlier was nowhere to be seen.
There was just an empty, dark void.
"Hehe."
An unpleasant voice was sent into his ear.
"It's not the devil or anything, right…?"
"You know well."
"... that's because you look like one."
"Yeah. I'm the demon of greed. They call me Marmon."
And just like that, Marmon whispered in his ear.
"Why don't you make a deal with me?"
"..."
Ho Yung needed time to calm down.
He couldn't make a blind deal with the devil.
And more than anything, because he couldn't believe the situation that was unfolding.
Ho Yung only began to speak after a long time had passed.
"I'll hear what deal you have to offer first."
"Alright. You can make two deals with me. First, time. Second, ability."
Time and ability.
Marmon then explained the two so that they were easy to understand.
First, time.
"At the least, you can rewind 10 years, and at the most, 23 years. To the past, I mean."
"Oh…"
"But, you need to pay a price. Because nothing's free in this world."
"What do I need to pay?"
"When you are reborn, every 1 year you rewind, a year will be taken off your lifespan. If you go back 23 years, in your next life, you will die 23 years earlier. But, you don't know when you're going to die."
"Haha… that's a wonderful balance."
Ho Yung nodded delightfully.
"As long as I'm not a eunuch or bald, I'm fine. And, isn't it the era where people live for 100 years? Living 80 years short and bold isn't too bad…"
"Then the second one. What's ability?"
"I will give you a skill."
A devil's skill. It was a tempting offer.
"What kind of skill?"
"It is desire."
"Desire?"
"It is the skill to get anything you desire."
".....Hmm."
He couldn't understand it properly. It seemed that he needed to experience it to understand.
'So, I can get anything I desire?'
Ho Yung's eyes lit up.
'This isn't a deal, this is basically a donation!'
Marmon began to speak.
"Well, then speak. Tell me when you want to go back to."
"Haha… It's nonsense... but if it's true, I want to…"