But full of many crimes, which I restrain'd: Edward his son, and lastly Ethelred.
With all these kings was I in high esteem, And kept both them and all the land in awe: And, had I liv'd, the Danes had never boasted Their then beginning conquest of this land.
Yet some accuse me for a conjuror, By reason of those many miracles Which heaven for holy life endowed me with; But whoso looks into the "Golden Legend"[424]
(That sacred register of holy saints) Shall find me by the pope canonised, And happily the cause of this report Might rise by reason of a vision Which I beheld in great King Edgar's days, Being that time Abbot of Glastonbury, Which (for it was a matter of some worth) I did make known to few until this day: But now I purpose that the world shall see How much those slanderers have wronged me: Nor will I trouble you with courts and kings; Or drive a feigned battle out of breath; Or keep a coil myself upon the stage; But think you see me in my secret cell, Arm'd with my portass,[425] bidding of my beads.
But on a sudden I'm o'ercome with sleep!
If aught ensue, watch you, for Dunstan[426] dreams.
[_He layeth him down to sleep; lightning and thunder; the curtains drawn on a sudden_; PLUTO, MINOS, AEACUS, RHADAMANTHUS, _set in counsel; before them_ MALBECCO'S _ghost guarded with furies_.
PLU. You ever-dreaded judges of black hell, Grim Minos, Aeacus, and Rhadamanth, Lords of Cocytus, Styx, and Phlegethon, Princes of darkness, Pluto's ministers, Know that the greatness of his present cause Hath made ourselves in person sit as judge, To hear th'arraignment of Malbecco's ghost.
Stand forth, thou ghastly pattern of despair, And to this powerful synod tell thy tale, That we may hear if thou canst justly say Thou wert not author of thy own decay.
MAL.[427] Infernal Jove, great prince of Tartary, With humble reverence poor Malbecco speaks, Still trembling with the fatal memory Of his so late concluded tragedy.
I was (with thanks to your great bounty) bred A wealthy lord, whilst that I liv'd on earth; And so might have continu'd to this day, Had not that plague of mankind fall'n on me: For I (poor man) join'd woe unto my name By choosing out a woman for my wife.
A wife! a curse ordained for the world.
Fair Helena! fair she was indeed, But foully stain'd with inward wickedness.
I kept her bravely, and I lov'd her dear; But that dear love did cost my life and all.
To reckon up a thousand of her pranks, Her pride, her wasteful spending, her unkindness, Her false dissembling, seeming sanctity, Her scolding, pouting, prating, meddling, And twenty hundred more of the same stamp, Were but to heap[428] an endless catalogue Of what the world is plagu'd with every day.
But for the main of that I have to tell, It chanced thus--Late in a rainy night, A crew of gallants came unto my house, And (will I, nill I) would forsooth be lodg'd.
I brought them in, and made them all good cheer (Such as I had in store), and lodg'd them soft.
Amongst them one, ycleped[429] Paridell (The falsest thief that ever trod on ground), Robb'd me, and with him stole away my wife.
I (for I lov'd her dear) pursu'd the thief, And after many days in travel spent, Found her amongst a crew of satyrs wild, Kissing and colling[430] all the livelong night.
I spake her fair, and pray'd her to return; But she in scorn commands me to be gone, And glad I was to fly, to save my life.
But when I backward came unto my house, I find it spoil'd, and all my treasure gone.
Desp'rate and mad, I ran I knew not whither, Calling and crying out on heaven and fate, Till, seeing none to pity my distress, I threw myself down headlong on a rock, And so concluded all my ills at once.
Now, judge you, justice benchers, if my wife Were not the instrument to end my life.
PLU. Can it be possible (you lords of hell) Malbecco's tale of women should be true?
Is marriage now become so great a curse, That whilom was the comfort of the world?
MIN. Women, it seems, have lost their native shame, As no man better may complain than I; Though not of any whom I made my wife, But of my daughter, who procured my fall.
AEAC. 'Tis strange what plaints are brought us every day Of men made miserable by marriage; So that, amongst a thousand, scarcely ten Have not some grievous actions 'gainst their wives.
RHA. My lord, if Rhadamanth might counsel you, Your grace should send some one into the world, That might make proof if it be true or no.
PLU. And wisely hast thou counseled, Rhadamanth, Call in Belphegor to me presently; [_One of the furies goes for_ BELPHEGOR.
He is the fittest that I know in hell To undertake a task of such import; For he is patient, mild, and pitiful-- Humours but ill agreeing with our kingdom.
_Enter_ BELPHEGOR.
And here he comes. Belphegor, so it is, We in our awful synod have decreed (Upon occasion to ourselves best known) That thou from hence shall go into the world, And take upon thee the shape of a man, In which estate thou shalt be married.
Choose thee a wife that best may please thyself, And live with her a twelvemonth and a day.
Thou shalt be subject unto human chance, So far as common wit cannot relieve thee; Thou shalt of us receive ten thousand pounds, Sufficient stock to use for thy increase: But whatsoever happens in that time, Look not from us for succour or relief.
This shalt thou do, and when the time's expired, Bring word to us what thou hast seen and done.
BEL. With all my heart, my lord, I am content, So I may have my servant Akercock To wait on[431] me, as if he were my man, That he may witness likewise what is done.
PLU. We are contented, he shall go with thee.
MIN. But what meantime decrees your majesty Of poor Malbecco?
PLU. He shall rest with us, Until Belphegor do return again; And as he finds, so will we give his doom.
Come, let us go and set our spyal[432] forth, Who for a time must make experiment, If hell be not on earth as well as here.
[_Exeunt_.
[_It thunders and lightens; the devils go forth_; DUNSTAN, _rising, runneth about the stage, laying about him with his staff_.
ST DUN. Satan, avaunt! thou art man's enemy: Thou shalt not live amongst us so unseen, So to betray us to the prince of darkness.
Satan, avaunt! I do conjure thee hence.-- What, dream'st thou, Dunstan? yea, I dream'd indeed.
Must then the devil come into the world?
Such is, belike, the infernal king's decree; Well, be it so; for Dunstan is content.
Mark well the process of the devil's disguise, Who happily may learn you to be wise.
Women, beware, and make your bargains well, The devil, to choose a wife, is come from hell.
[_Exit_.
SCENE II.
_Enter_ MORGAN, _Earl of London_, LACY, _Earl of Kent, with_ MILES FORREST.
MOR. My Lord of Kent, your honour knows my mind, That ever has, and still does honour you, Accounting it my daughter's happiness (Amidst her other infelicities), That you vouchsafe to love her as you do.
How gladly I would grant your lordship's suit The heavens can witness, which with ruthless ears Have often heard my yet unpitied plaints; And could I find some means for her recovery, None but yourself should have her to your wife.
LACY. My Lord of London, now long time it is, Since Lacy first was suitor to your daughter, The fairest Honorea, in whose eyes Honour itself in love's sweet bosom lies.
What shall we say, or seem to strive with heaven, Who speechless sent her first into the world?
In vain it is for us to think to loose That which by nature's self we see is bound.
Her beauty, with her other virtues join'd, Are gifts sufficient, though she want a tongue: And some will count it virtue in a woman Still to be bound to unoffending silence; Though I could wish with half of all my lands, That she could speak: but since it may not be, 'Twere vain to imprison beauty with her speech.
FOR. Have you not heard, my lords, the wondrous fame Of holy Dunstan, Abbot of Glastonbury?
What miracles he hath achiev'd of late; And how the rood of Dovercourt[433] did speak, Confirming his opinion to be true: And how the holy consistory fell, With all the monks that were assembled there, Saving one beam, whereon this Dunstan sat; And other more such miracles as these.
They say he is of such religious life, That angels often use to talk with him, And tell to him the secrets of the heavens.
No question, if your honours would but try, He could procure my lady for to speak.
MOR. Believe me, Forrest, thou hast well advis'd, For I have heard of late much talk of him.
LACY. Is not that Dunstan he who check'd the king About his privy dealing with the nun, And made him to do penance for the fault?
MOR. The same is he; for whom I straight will send.
Miles Forrest shall in post to Glastonbury, And gently pray the abbot for my sake To come to London. Sure, I hope the heavens Have ordain'd Dunstan to do Morgan good.
LACY. Let us despatch him thither presently; For I myself will stay for his return, And see some end or other, ere I go.
MOR. Come, then, Lord Lacy: Forrest, come away.
[_Exeunt_.