HYPOCRISY.
Then you shall see my cunning: A poor shift for a living Amongest poor men used is; The kind heart of hers Hath eased my purse, Many a time ere this.
[_Here entereth_ FELLOWSHIP.
FELLOWSHIP.
I marvel greatly where Friendship is; He promised to meet me here ere this time: I beshrew his heart, that his[111] promise doth miss; And then be ye sure, it shall not be mine.
HYPOCRISY.
Yes, Fellowship, that it shall be thine, For I have tarried here this hour or twain; And this honest gentleman in my company hath been, To abide your coming, this thing is plain.
FELLOWSHIP.
By the mass, if you chide, I will[112] be gone again; For in faith, Friendship, I may say to thee, I love not to be there, where chiders be.
HYPOCRISY.
No, God it knoweth, you are so full of honesty, As a mary-bone is full of honey: But, sirrah, I pray you, bid this gentleman welcome, For he is desirous in your company to come: I tell you he is a man of the right making; And one that hath excellent learning; At his girdle he hath such a book, That the Popish priests dare not in him look: This is a fellow for the nonce.
FELLOWSHIP.
I love him the better, by God's[113] precious bones: You are heartily welcome, as I may say, I shall desire you of better acquaintance;[114]
That of your company be bold I may, You may be sure, if in me it lie To do you pleasure, you should it find: For, by the mass, I love you both with heart and mind.
JUVENTUS.
To say the same to you your gentleness doth me bind; And I thank you heartily for your kindness.
HYPOCRISY.
Well[115] you see this gentleman fines[116]
Your gentleness and your kindness, I thank him, and I thank you; And I think, if the truth were sought,[117]
The one bad and the other naught, Never a good, I make God a vow!
But yet, Fellowship, tell me one thing, Did you see little Bess this morning?
We should have our breakfast yesternight, she said, But she hath forgotten it now, I am afraid.
FELLOWSHIP.
Her promise shall be performed and paid; For I spake with her, since the time I rose, And then she told me how the matter goeth: We must be with her between eight and nine, And then her master and mistress will be at the preaching.
JUVENTUS.
I purposed myself there to have been; But this man provoked me to the contrary, And told me that we should have merry company.
FELLOWSHIP.
Merry, quod-a? we cannot choose but be merry; For there is such a girl where as we go, Which will make us to[118] be merry, whether we will or no.
HYPOCRISY.
The ground is the better on the which she doth go; For she will make better cheer with that[119] little, which she can get, Than many a[120] one can with a great banket of meat.
JUVENTUS.
To be in her company my heart is set; Therefore, I pray you, let us be gone.
FELLOWSHIP.
She will come for us[121] herself anon; For I told her before, where we would stand, And then, she said, she would beck us with her hand.
JUVENTUS.
Now, by the mass, I perceive that she is a gallant: What, will she take pains to come for us hither?
HYPOCRISY.
Yea, I warrant you; therefore you must be familiar with her: When she cometh in place, You must her embrace Somewhat handsomely; Lest she think it[122] danger, Because you are a stranger, To come in your company.
JUVENTUS.
Yea,[123] by God's foot, that I will be busy, And I may say to you, I can play the knave secretly.
[_Here entereth_ ABHOMINABLE LIVING.[124]
ABHOMINABLE LIVING.
Hem! come away quickly, The back door is open;[125] I dare not tarry: Come, Fellowship, come on away!
HYPOCRISY.
What, Unknown Honesty? a word!
[_Draws_ A. L. _aside_.[126]
You shall not go yet, by God I swear; Here is none but your friends, you need not to fray, Although, this strange young gentleman be here.
JUVENTUS.
I trust, in me she will think no danger; For I love well the company of fair women.
ABHOMINABLE LIVING.
Who, you? nay, ye are such a holy man, That to touch one ye dare not be bold; I think,[127] you would not kiss a young woman, If one would give you twenty pound in gold.
JUVENTUS.
Yes, by the mass, that I would; I could find in my heart to kiss you in your smock.
ABHOMINABLE LIVING.
My back is broad enough to bear away that mock For one hath told me many a time, That you[128] have said you would use no such wanton company as mine.
JUVENTUS.
By dog's[129] precious wounds, that was some whoreson[130] villain; I will never eat meat that shall do me good, Till I have cut his flesh, by God's precious blood: Tell me, I pray you, who it was, And I will trim the knave, by the blessed mass.
ABHOMINABLE LIVING.
Tush! as for that, do not you pass; That which I told you was but for love.
HYPOCRISY.
She did nothing else but prove, Whether a little[131] thing would you move To be angry and fret; What, and if one had said so?
Let such trifling matters go, And be good to men's flesh for all that.
JUVENTUS [_He kisseth_ ABHOMINABLE LIVING.]
To kiss her since she came, I had clean forgot: You are welcome to my company.
ABHOMINABLE LIVING.
Sir, I thank you most heartily; By your kindness it doth appear.
HYPOCRISY.
What a hurly-burly is here!
Smick smack, and all this gear!
You will to tick-tack,[132] I fear, If you[133] had time: Well, wanton, well; I-wis, I can tell, That such smock-smell Will set your nose out of tune.