[_Exit Sem_.
CAL. Then farewell! Christ send thee again soon!
Oh, what fortune is equal unto mine!
Oh, what woeful wight with me may compare!
The thirst of sorrow is my mixed wine, Which daily I drink with deep draughts of care.
_Re-enter_ SEMPRONIO.
SEM. Tush, sir, be merry, let pass away the mare:[33]
How say you, have I not hied me lightly?
Here is your chair and lute to make you merry.
CAL. Merry, quotha? nay, that will not be; But I must needs sit for very feebleness.
Give me my lute, and thou shalt see How I shall sing mine unhappiness.
This lute is out of tune now, as I guess; Alas! in tune how should I set it, When all harmony to me discordeth each whit, As he, to whose will reason is unruly?
For I feel sharp needles within my breast; Peace, war, truth, hatred, and injury: Hope and suspect, and all in one chest.
SEM. Behold, Nero, in the love of Poppaea[34] oppressed, Rome how he brent; old and young wept: But she took no thought, nor never the less slept.
CAL. Greater is my fire, and less pity showed me.
SEM. I will not mock; this fool is a lover. [_Aside_.
CAL. What say'st thou?
SEM. I say, how can that fire be, That tormenteth but one living man, greater Than that fire that brenneth a whole city here, And all the people therein?
CAL. Marry, for that fire is greatest, That brenneth very sore, and lasteth longest; And greater is the fire that brenneth one soul, Than that which brenneth an hundred bodies.
SEM. His saying in this none can control. [_Aside_.
CAL. None but such as list to make lies!
And if the fire of purgatory bren in such wise, I had liever my spirit in brute beasts should be, Than to go thither, and then to the deity.
SEM. Marry, sir, that is a spice of heresy.
CAL. Why so?
SEM. For ye speak like no Christian man.
CAL. I would thou knewest Melibaea worship I: In her I believe, and her I love.
SEM. Ah, ah, then, With thee Melibaea is a great woman; I know on which foot thou dost halt on: I shall shortly heal thee, my life thereupon!
CAL. An incredible thing thou dost promise me.
SEM. Nay, nay, it is easy enough to do; But first, for to heal a man, knowledge must be Of the sickness; then to give counsel thereto.
CAL. What counsel can rule him, Sempronio, That keepeth in him no order of counsel?[35]
SEM. Ah, is this Calisto? his fire now I know well; How that love over him hath cast her net; In whose perseverance is all inconstancy.
CAL. Why, is not Elisaeus' love and thine met?
SEM. What then?
CAL. Why reprovest me then of ignorance?
SEM. For thou settest man's dignity in obeisance To the imperfection of the weak woman.
CAL. A woman? Nay, a god of goddesses.
SEM. Believest that then?
CAL. Yea, and as a goddess I here confess; And I believe there is no such sovereign In heaven, though she be in earth.
SEM. Peace, peace.
A woman a god! nay, to God, a villain.
Of your saying ye may be sorry.
CAL. It is plain.
SEM. Why so?
CAL. Because I love her, and think surely To obtain my desire I am unworthy.
SEM. O fearful heart! why comparest thou with Nimrod Or Alexander? of this world not lords only, But worthy to subdue heaven, as saying go'th; And thou reputest thyself more high Than them both, and despairest so cowardly To win a woman, of whom hath been so many Gotten and ungotten, never heard of any?
It is recited in the Feast of Saint John: This is the woman of ancient malice; Of whom but of a woman was it sung on, That Adam was expulsed from Paradise?
She put man to pain whom Eli did despise.
CAL. Then sith Adam gave him to their governance, Am I greater than Adam myself to advance?
SEM. Nay, but of those men it were wisdom, That overcame them to seek remedy, And not of those that they did overcome.
Flee from their beginnings, eschew their folly: Thou knowest they do evil things many.
They keep no mean, but rigour of intention; Be it fair [or] foul, wilful without reason.
Keep them never so close, they will be showed, Give tokens of love by many subtle ways: Seeming to be sheep, and serpently shrewd: Craft in them renewing, that never decays.
Their sayings and sightings provoking their plays.
Oh, what pain is to fulfil their appetites, And to accomplish their wanton delights!
It is a wonder to see their dissembling, Their flattering countenance, their ingratitude, Inconstancy, false witness, feigned weeping: Their vain-glory, and how they can delude: Their foolishness, their jangling not mew'd: Their lecherous lust and vileness therefore: Witchcrafts and charms to make men to their lore: Their embalming[36] and their unshamefacedness: Their bawdry, their subtlety, and fresh attiring!
What trimming, what painting, to make fairness!
Their false intents and flickering smiling: Therefore lo! it is an old saying That women be the devil's nets, and head of sin; And man's misery in Paradise did begin-- CAL. But what thinkest thou by me yet for all this?
SEM. Marry, sir, ye were a man of clear wit, Whom Nature hath endued with the best gifts, As beauty and greatness of members perfit: Strength, lightness; and beyond this each whit Fortune hath parted with you of her influence, For to be able of liberal expense.
For without goods, whereof Fortune is lady, No man can have wealth. Therefore by conjecture You should be beloved of everybody.
CAL. But not of Melibaea now I am sure; And though thou hadst praised me without measure, And compared me without comparison, Yet she is above in every condition.
Behold her nobleness, her ancient lineage, Her great patrimony, her excellent wit, Her resplendent virtue, her portly courage, Her godly grace, her sovereign beauty perfit!
No tongue is able well to express it; But yet, I pray thee, let me speak awhile, Myself to refresh in rehearsing of my style.
I begin at her hair, which is so goodly, Crisped to her heels, tied with fine lace.
Far shining beyond fine gold of Araby: I trow the sun colour to it may give place; That who to behold it might have the grace, Would say in comparison nothing countervails-- SEM. Then is it not like hair of ass-tails?
CAL. Oh, what foul comparison! this fellow rails.
Her gay glassing eyes so fair and bright; Her brows, her nose in a mean[37] no fashion fails; Her mouth proper and feat, her teeth small and white; Her lips ruddy, her body straight upright; Her little teats to the eye is a pleasure.
Oh, what a joy it is to see such a figure!
Her skin of whiteness endarketh the snow, With rose-colour ennewed.[38] I thee ensure Her little hands in mean[39] manner--this no trow[4]-- Her fingers small and long, with nails ruddy: most pure Of proportion, none such in portraiture: Without peer: worthy to have for fairness The apple that Paris gave Venus the goodness.
SEM. Sir, have ye all done?
CAL. Yea, marry, what then?
SEM. I put case all this ye have said be true; Yet are ye more noble, sith ye be a man.
CAL. Wherein?
SEM. She is imperfect, I would ye knew, As all women be, and of less value.
Philosophers say the matter is less worthy Than the form; so is woman to man surely.
CAL. I love not to hear this altercation Between Melibaea and me her lover.
SEM. Possible it is in every condition To abhor her as much as you do love her In the woman beguiling is the danger, That ye shall see hereafter with eyes free.
CAL. With what eyes?
SEM. With clear eyes, trust me.
CAL. Why, with what eyes do I see now?
SEM. With dim eyes, which show a little thing much.
But for ye shall not despair, I assure you No labour nor diligence in me shall grutch: So trusty and friendly ye shall find me such, In all things possible that ye can acquire The thing to accomplish to your desire.
CAL. God bring that to pass, so glad it is to me To hear thee thus, though I hope not in thy doings.
SEM. Yet I shall do it, trust me for a surety.
CAL. God reward thee for thy gentle intending; I give thee this chain of gold in rewarding.
SEM. Sir, God reward you, and send us good speed; I doubt not but I shall perform it indeed.
But without rewards it is hard to work well.
CAL. I am content, so thou be not negligent.
SEM. Nay, be not you; for it passeth a marvel, The master slow, the servant to be diligent.
CAL. How thinkest it can be? show me thine intent.
SEM. Sir, I have a neighbour, a mother of bawdry, That can provoke the hard rocks to lechery.
In all evil deeds she is perfect wise.
I trow more than a thousand virgins Have been destroyed by her subtle devices, For she never faileth, where she begins: Alone by this craft her living she wins.
Maids, wives, widows, and every one, If she once meddle, there escapeth none.
CAL. How might I speak with her, Sempronio?
SEM. I shall bring her hither unto this place; But ye must in any wise let rewards go, And show her your griefs in every case.
CAL. Else were I not worthy to attain grace.
But, alas, Sempronio, thou tarriest too long.
SEM. Sir, God be with you.