Monk-sama changes his strategy. (｡♥‿♥｡)
Enjoy this sweet treat.
―Sigh . . . It going to be a busy lunch time soon. It is not the kind of a happy-go-lucky sigh, but it's because I've been feeling depressed lately.
"Kuzuharsan . . . you've been sighing a lot lately, do you have any worries?"
"……Manager . . . There are times when everyone failed, right . . . ?"
While looking at far distance, I asked for the manager's affirmation. At my sudden question, the manager became slightly confused.
"Well, uhh…… Kuzuharsan, by chance did you do something but failed?"
"……Well, somewhat……"
I wiped another coffee cup and let out another sigh.
A week has passed since then.
Hazekursan suddenly hugged me and proposed to me again, but I said something terrible due to agitation. But as the time passed by, I gradually calmed down and it may be exaggerated for me to say that I fell into self-loathing.
I think what Hazekursan did was too much. Still, I wish I hadn't rejected him like that . . .
……No, no, it's not that I think that it's nice to care about a person I don't like. No matter how many times I think about it, I just can't dispel this feeling.
In order to change my depressed mood, I decided to pass by a pastry shop to buy my favorite pudding on my way home. The shop's pudding is not the thick and creamy one that is popular these days but the old-fashioned glutinous one. It is also moderately sweet, and if one would eat it with the caramel sauce below it, the combination of the sweetness and slight bitterness makes it exquisitely delicious. I was able to buy the pudding and resumed going back home.
But where does this burdensome feeling of guilt for Hazekursan spring from? Thinking a little about it, I could not find the answer.
Well, whatever…… There's no point in thinking about the things that I don't understand. Banishing these thoughts out of my mind, I opened the door a little spiritedly.
"I'm home……"
When I opened the door of our house and passed by the entryway, I saw something that should not be there and stopped on my tracks. Neatly arranged at the narrow entrance, a pair of Japanese sandals―
No way…… No way, no way……!
"Ah, Kano! Hazekursan is here."
I heard the pitter-patter of Mother's slippers in the hallway.
As expected!
"……Wh-Why? Why did he come here……?"
Standing by the entryway, I was finally able to speak.
"He came here to especially deliver the handkerchief you dropped at the temple during the death anniversary. Hurry, go to the parlour and thank him! I will go to the supermarket's time sale, so I will leave everything to you!"
Mother handed me the handkerchief and quickly rushed out of the house.
"…………You must be kidding……"
Putting my hands on the stile of the entrance, I hung my head in low spirits. What's with this plot twist? I really wanted to apologize to him for saying too much. But why did this person suddenly come to visit our house?
Truth be told, this person's behavior is way beyond my expectation. Nonetheless, I cannot ignore him who came here to return something I forgot despite his busy schedule.
I took a deep breath and headed towards the parlour. I opened the sliding door loudly, and my eyes met with Hazekursan, who was sitting properly [T/N: "seiza"] and was wearing the same outfit he wore during the Bon festival.
"……Kano-san."
The moment Hazekursan laid his eyes on me, he removed his hands from the tea table and placed it on his side, then bowed his head towards me.
"Eh, Hazekursan……?"
I was taken aback by Hazekursan's sudden action.
"I am very sorry for what I did the other day. If I ever hurt your feelings, I apologize from the bottom of my heart. I am sorry."
When I vividly remembered the time he hugged me, my heart rate increased. When I somehow calmed down, I also sat in the tatami mat. I put the shopping bag aside and looked at Hazekursan who lowered his head.
In the past few days, I had a negative impression about Hazekursan. And yet, when he bowed his head seriously like this, some kind of emotional feeling welled up from within me.
I felt disappointed at myself for being a soft woman. But it is also true that I've always felt gloomy. That's why I will use this opportunity to apologize. That way, I will definitely feel better.
I took a deep breath again and spoke to Hazekursan calmly.
"Hazekursan, please raise your head…… I also wanted to apologize because I vehemently said some rude things to you that day. I'm sorry for saying cruel things. But―"
Hazekursan raised his head and looked at me.
"But?"
"I really cannot marry you."
"……Why, if I may ask?"
"We don't know each other well, and I can't feel the sense of reality when you suddenly asked me to become your wife. Besides, I am not that knowledgeable about the circumstances of the temple, so isn't it more appropriate for Hazekursan to marry a woman who has more education than a woman who does not know anything like myself? That's why……"
"A woman suitable for me, huh……"
Hazekursan who was silently listening to me turned his eyes outside the window and muttered.
"I can't think of marrying anyone except you, Kano-san. So if I can't marry you, then I will remain a bachelor throughout my life." [T/N: Dibs! I volunteer as tribute!]
"Eh? Hey, that's an exaggeration."
"It's not an exaggeration. That's how special you are to me. I've said it many times, Kano-san."
Speechless, I could only gape when I heard Hazekursan's reply.
What should I do…? I can't make myself understood…… Rather, it doesn't feel like both of our assertions differ from each other, but . . . if I keep on telling him what I feel right now, won't we just go around in circles……?
Then, Hazekursan averted his eyes from me, who was perplexed, and bitterly smiled.
"But, it was indeed too hasty to marry someone as soon as you met them. Kano-san, I think that you are confused and do not believe me. I have reflected on that point."
"……Yes."
Yes, that's right! The moment the mist in my heart has cleared, I looked at Hazekursan with a relaxed expression. Seeing me in that state, Hazekursan smiled broadly.
"And so I have one suggestion…… For the time being, why don't we get to know each other?"
"Huh……"
"In other words, why don't you date me first without the intention of marriage?"
"Huh―?!"
After coming to an agreement, we returned to the beginning again!
……But wait. Had he not told me suddenly to "marry him", the situation could have been different. Again, I reassessed Hazekursan, who was in front of me, as a man. He is tall and has handsome looks. Looking at him objectively, he is gentle-mannered, implying that he is a good person. However on the inside, he is assertive and does not listen to other people. Which is quite bothersome.
But even though he had been rejected many times, he came up with a new proposal in order to be in a relationship with me. Doesn't it show that his feelings for me is strong? [T/N: Intense, rather.]
To tell the truth, I don't know why he felt that way to me. It's just that I am a little curious. I wonder what he has seen in me……
As I think about the proposal, Hazekursan waited for my reply in silence. Raising my face, I decided to deal with him.
"……Is it really okay not to consider marriage?"
His handsome face broke into a wide smile.
"Yes."
"Got it. Then . . . let's date. Please take care of me."
Towards me who accepted his proposal nervously, Hazekursan's expression softened and smiled radiantly. [T/N: A cat got its cream XD]
"Thank you. If you still refused me even with this, then there will be no more hope for me. That's why I am relieved."
"You're exaggerating."
"No, it's true. It really feels painful to be hated by you."
Hazekursan's relaxed smile is fascinating to look at. His relaxed eyebrows, his straight nose and almond eyes. His pearly white teeth peeking from his thin lips…… This person is definitely good-looking.
While having such thoughts, I suddenly remembered that we are alone in the house. At that moment, I became strangely conscious of Hazekursan and my heart started beating erratically.
"Kano-san, is something the matter?"
Perhaps sensing some tension from me, Hazekursan inquired.
"No, it's, it's nothing."
I desperately pretended to be calm in order not to recognize this excitement in my heart. Around this time, I caught sight of the shopping bag of pudding I bought.
"Uh . . . Uhm, Hazekursan, do you like pudding?”
"Pudding?"
"Yes, this pudding is very delicious. I wanted to eat it for a long time, so I bought some on my way home."
Pudding…… Will Hazekursan eat it……?
I grabbed the shopping bag from my side and presented it.
"Kano-san, do you like pudding?"
"Yes. Aside from pudding, there are also agar-agar, youkan and kudzu starch noodles. I like those food that have a smooth texture."
"Now that you mention it, the mizu youkan you gave away as a token last time was also very delicious."
Hazekursan smiled. Seeing his smile, my heart broke a little. Although I've decided to go out with him, I still treated Hazekursan too coldheartedly. So why is this person smiling at me with such kind expression? Is because he is broadminded or very persevering……?
"……Would like to have a pudding?"
When I asked, Hazekursan's eyes widened in surprise for some reason.
"May I?"
"Ah, could it be that you could not eat….."
"I have restrictions during my training, but I am not training right now so it's okay. Then, I will accept it."
Hazekursan broke into a delighted smile that I have never seen before. Caught up in his smile again, I abruptly stood up.
"Then, please wait a moment."
I headed to the kitchen in a hurry, prepared a new tea and moistened hand towel and returned to the parlour. I then placed them in front of Hazekursan, together with the pudding I took out from the shopping bag.
"Please help yourself."
"Itadakimasu."
Hazekursan began to eat the pudding gracefully.
"……Indeed, it is smooth and tasty. The flavour of the egg is strong . . . It is very delicious."
As he said that, he gently smiled.
"It's good. I also like its taste very much."
I also took a bite of pudding. While doing so, my attention went to Hazekursan's hands. He really has beautiful hands……
Speaking of which, I was also fascinated with this person's hands when we first met at the Bon festival. Those hands that touched me, that hugged me……
Remembering those memories, I could not look at Hazekursan because of embarrassment. We were eating pudding in silence when Hazekursan, who finished eating pudding first, spoke to me.
"Kano-san."
"Y-Yes?"
"Since we've decided to date each other, would you like to go out with me somewhere?"
Having been invited to a date, my hand stopped from scooping pudding.
"Uhm, s-so soon?"
"Yes. I think it's better for you to get to know me as soon as possible."
Hazekursan plainly said in a soft tone.
―Wh-what should I do……? Well, what he said was right, if we suddenly go out together, what are we going to talk about……?
To me who was having bewildering thoughts, Hazekursan smiled and came with a suggestion.
"Let's see. Why don't we go out for a couple of hours on your day off, Kano-san? Let's go eat some delicious anmitsu."
"……Anmitsu."
I unconsciously looked up and muttered. When our eyes met, he beamed at me.
Anmitsu, huh…… I haven't eaten it for quite some time. Ugh, I'm so weak against anko (red bean paste), aren't I?
Moreover, I am interested about Hazekursan's recommendation……! Aren't I too simple to be easily beguiled by such food?
Though it doesn't feel that way.
Hazekursan, I think you know my weaknesses well.
"O-Okay."
In the end, I've lost to my cravings and accepted the date. But it doesn't look bad. Instead of being hasty and pushy like in the past, he certainly understood and decided to move along with my pace. Since I did not turn him down, I might as well face him and get to know him.
Thinking that way, I nodded in agreement.
"Thank you, Kano-san. I'm sorry to trouble you, but can you tell me your contact address?"
Oh, yeah. Obviously, it will be open for our families to see if we contact each other through the landline phone, so I took a memo notepad from my bag, wrote my phone number and email address, tore the page then handed it to Hazekursan.
"Do you have a mobile phone, Hazekursan?"
Hazekursan chuckled at my question.
"Of course. Depending on the situation of my work, I may not be able to contact you soon, but even if there may be times when I keep you waiting for a reply, I will still contact you."
After saying that, Hazekursan quickly stood.
I also headed to the entrance for the sake of sending him off, but I suddenly remembered that I did not say thank you for the handkerchief.
"Oh, Hazekursan, thank you for delivering the handkerchief."
When I quickly bowed my head in gratitude, Hazekursan stopped in his tracks.
"No……"
Hazekursan calmly turned around and stood before me. And then, looked straight back at me.
"That day, the moment I saw you getting up from your seat, I knew it was my chance so I lay in wait to surprise you. I'm sure you dropped it during that time. I noticed the handkerchief and immediately went to the banquet to return it, but you already went home."
Hazekursan, who was reminiscing that time, became silent for some reason. Then, turning down his eyes as if in hesitation, he continued.
"Actually, I could have handed it to your family. But instead, I used it as an excuse because I wanted to see you again."
"……Hazekursa―"
"I truly like you from the bottom of my heart."
"……!"
I gasped at the expression of Hazekursan who was more serious that ever.
"If I could, I would have embraced you in my arms. But if it's going to be the same as before, I'd rather stop."
After saying it with a smile, Hazekursan said, "Well then", bowed and went home.
The moment Hazekursan's figure disappeared, I felt exhausted and sat down at the entrance.
His confession a while ago has begun to work like a body blow. Hazekursan had confessed to me many times, but I felt somewhat more surprised and discomfited this time. However, today he told me in a serious and straightforward manner.
What should I do? My heart won't stop pounding……!
With us dating each other, is my heart going to be alright?
With confusion and anxiety, I waited for that day to come.