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Published at 4th of July 2019 03:14:57 PM
Chapter 84

Fishing

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Editors: Joker, Speedphoenix

There was a moment of silence . The air was filled with naught but stillness until the moment I loosed a victorious roar .

"Yes! I got a bite!"
"What!?"

I glanced to the side as I gave my fishing rod a good tug and reeled in my catch, only to see Lefi making an expression of shock .

"Well, Lefi, that's fish number two," I said with a snarky grin . "Iunno about you, but I think it's pretty safe to say that I've already won this little match of ours . "
"Your pursuit of victory comes with excess haste, for the event has yet to conclude . Victory has not yet eluded me . " The dragon, who'd been grinding her teeth in frustration, humphed before continuing to speak in an indignant tone . "And I see no reason to perform such a menial task in the first place . It makes little sense not to simply dry the riverbed should you wish to consume a fish . "
"Lefi, please . Talk about no taste in leisure . " I rolled my eyes . "Look, this, this is way more fun . And before you even think about actually doing it, running the river dry is hella wasteful and destructive, so please don't . "

'Cause coming from you, that seems a bit real, y'know?

The banter Lefi and I were engaged in was only an aside to the activity that we were focused on: fishing . The two of us were both camped out in front of the river running through the dungeon's grasslands, rods in hand and ready to extract our prey at a moment's notice .


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We weren't the only two fishing either . Lyuu was doing the same, though she didn't quite seem all that focused . She kept glancing towards Illuna and Shii . Bored of fishing, the two had started playing around with Rir, hence why Lyuu was so distracted . As a warwolf, she couldn't help but allow the Fenrir to draw her attention .

Like Illuna and friends, Leila was also situated nearby . She was seated on a large picnic blanket, and continued to watch over the rest of us with a big smile on her face . Or at least that was what she was doing most of the time . She would occasionally seem to make a eureka face, pull out a stack of paper and start scribbling away while chuckling with all the wickedness of a mad scientist . It was something I had seen many times now . She'd started doing it ever since she put an abrupt end to that magic lesson the other day, and had basically never stopped . She didn't seem to be able to focus on anything all that much either . The sheep-horned demon girl would always be mumbling something or another under her breath, even while doing the chores .

That said, it wasn't like I'd grown accustomed to her cackling .  Honestly bro, that shit's kinda freaky .

I wasn't the only one that found her recent actions intimidating either . Lyuu had evidently felt the same way, as she'd come to me for a consultation . Frankly, Leila's demonic cackling had terrified her .

Despite her newfound habits and lack of attention, however, Leila was still doing one hell of a job .  Yeah, you know what? I'mma just leave that be . She'll get back to normal eventually . I hope .

I shook my head to stop myself from imagining the opposite case and once again returned to reflecting on the day . Today was, like the day we had the picnic, another outing for everyone to kick back and relax . And of course, the cause of it all was the discovery that the river contained fish .

I myself had not been responsible for placing the fish where they were . I hadn't known that they were there at all . In fact, I was surprised to see that the river I'd used DP to create was filled with life . All sorts of fish were swimming around in it like it was nobody's business . The only conclusion I could come to was that the fish just happened to come with the river, and that was just how it was .  Thinking along those lines, that probably means that there's stuff living in the mountains I decided to place as a backdrop and whatnot too . But oh well whatever . They're way too far out for me to really give a shit . And the fish are way more important right now .

The fact that fish existed and were in a safe, accessible area meant that I straight up had no choice but to start fishing . And that was why I'd arranged this little get together . A fishing trip, per se . But despite it being the purpose of the outing, Lefi, Lyuu, and I were the only ones that were actually fishing .

"…Woah! I think I just got one!" Lyuu shouted wide-eyed as she reeled her catch .
"Nrgghhh…" Again, Lefi groaned . "I see that you too have done as Yuki has, Lyuu . "

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"Mhm! I guess that leaves you in last place, huh?" replied the warwolf .
"I shall see to it that the two of you face retribution for your conceit," growled Lefi .

The supreme dragon's discontent stemmed from the fact that us three fishermen were engaged in a high stakes game with tonight's dinner on the line . Literally . We were planning to have fish tonight, and whoever caught the least would be stuck with the shoddiest meal, or maybe even no meal at all depending on the catch . Of course, while numbers were the primary method of determining the winners and losers, one could redeem themselves and perhaps even claim victory through quality as well . The requirement for such a victory was to catch something large enough to function as tonight's main dish .

As I was lost in thought, Illuna, who'd been playing around, pitter-pattered over and gave Lefi's back a big hug .

"Hey Lefi! Have you caught anything really big yet?" she asked .
"I-I have not," stuttered the dragon girl . "But it shan't be long . I assure you that I will soon procure a catch of an impressive size . "
“Wow! I’m really excited to see what you’ll fish up, so do your best!” Illuna left as quickly as she came, and returned to playing with everyone else after voicing a few words of encouragement .

I began to grin . I really couldn't help it given what I'd just seen .

"And why precisely have you that look on your face?" Lefi scowled .
"Naw, it's nothing . I was just thinking that you two sure are close . "
"Fmph . " Lefi snorted as her cheeks turned red and her lips curled upwards in an expression of discontent . "I've little reason to consider Illuna anything less than a sister . It is only fair that I regard her with kindness . "
"I see, I see . A sister, huh?"

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"What is it that you are trying to say?"
"Nah, don't sweat it . It's nothing . "

I'm just happy you think of her that way . That's all .

"…Regardless, the expression you bear is one that stirs my rage . I shall see to it that you change it, even if I must do it mys—" Lefi was cut off mid-sentence as she suddenly felt something pull at her rod . "—A catch! It is time for me to lessen the gap between our scores!"
"That rod's mad bending . You hook the riverbed again or something?"
"Say what you will, for soon, you shall weep! The creature I have caught is undoubtedly one of impressive size!"

Lefi enthusiastically roared as she pulled on her rod . And as she did, her prey surfaced .  Wait . The fuck is that thing!?

The bizarre creature had a body that resembled a tree trunk, a beard made of writhing tentacles, and a mouth lined with dozens of tiny fangs . I had absolutely no idea what it was, but it creeped me out either way .

"Hey uh… Lefi… You mind doing me a favour and fishing up something that's a little less… bizarre? Like, seriously . I can't even tell if that thing's supposed to be a fish or something else altogether . "
“T-That is completely irrelevant . All that matters is that I too have now landed a catch!”
"I mean, yeah sure . But if you're going to count that, then you better make sure you eat it when dinner comes around, alright?"
“…I shall leave that duty to Rir . ”

Please don't feed my pet weird shit . Kthxbye .

"Ahem!" Lefi cleared her throat . "As I was saying, I believe that this brings Lyuu and I to one catch apiece . While you are still yet ahead of us, the end is yet to be in sight . This contest of ours is not yet over!"

The dragon smirked before turning to the beastkin beside her .

"Listen well, Lyuu . We must burn away the very essence that composes us and steal away all that there is to capture . For tonight, we leave Yuki with only the smallest morsel!"
“Huh? Uh… sure! Master’s been kinda mean lately, so this is just the right thing I gotta do to teach ‘im a lesson!”
“Hah!" I scoffed . "All I hear from you guys are the cries of the incapable . I’ll show you noobs just how overwhelming a real fisherman can be!"

And so, with our spirits lit aflame, the three of us continued to fish .

Editor's note (Joker): Hey, guys! Joker here . Been a while, hasn't it? A lot of stuff has happened since the last chapter . I had my debut in Super Smash Bros . Ultimate and created a new tier list in the process . Boss Young'un is applying to a bunch of companies, so wish him luck with that . Sebas finally banged Tuareninya (it's about time if I do say so myself) [Note, this is from Overlord], and Speedphoenix went through about 3 reincarnations . Stubborn ol' flamin' bird just won't stay dead . Uh, I mean… I cherish our friendship . Hehe… heh… . And as for our favorite dungeon crew, seems like Yuki raised a flag with his "Oh, stuff might live in the mountains too, but they're too far away to worry about . " Ol' boy's gonna wake up to a Yeti in his face . Naturally, with Lefi there, ain't much gonna be done by it, but it'd still be a real colon cleanser, wouldn't it? All right, I see we got four letters in Joker's Big Sack O' Letters (trademark pending), so big thanks to kx, dicky satria, Zehd Cashew, and zekkendo for your wonderful questions . All right, I gotta head out now . Ganondorf's getting real uppity, so Arsene and I need to knock him down a peg or two on the tier list . See y'all in the next chapter!

— 

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