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The Past and Dreams


“……I see.”
“I’m very……sorry.”

Erina, who had informed me of my mother’s death, hung her head down without wiping away her tears.

However my previous life experiences don’t allow me to do that.
It was a life where I had repeatedly killed people, and one where countless friends died in front of my eyes. Even though I have sad feelings, tears just don’t come out at all. As someone who is desensitized at those people’s life-and-death, I’m more lamentable.

“Erina, I’m all right.”

“You were thinking of what was best for me and kept it a secret. Granted that I’m thankful for that, but there’s no reason for me to resent you for it, right?”
“Even so……I……”

I return my eyes to the picture. There are many parts that resembled me: to the extent that it would give someone the impression that I unmistakably took after my mother. I wonder what kind of person she was while she was alive.

“Rather than that, I’d like to talk about my mother.”

“Yeah. I want to hear about what kind of person she was, what she liked, anything really.”
“Ok. Miliaria……it’s Aria-sama, but she was a simple and innocent lady.”

Most likely recalling my mother in those days, her expression slightly softened. ‘Simple and innocent’, but as far as I can see from the picture, she does have a pure, innocent and meek atmosphere.

“She was the only daughter of one of the noble families: the Eldrand family. A lady overflowing with dignity and with a kind heart that saved me when I had fallen into misfortune and was despairing. A lot of her conduct was not noble-esque, but strangely, she had a charisma that fascinated people. However the Eldrand family lost a fight for political power with another noble family and together with their house, they were divested of their noble title. There was a foolish noble who fell in love at first sight with that Aria-sama. By marrying herself to that noble, she was promised that her parents would be safe.”

So she sold herself for the sake of her family? I wonder just how much resignation she carried.

“It was awful after that. The foolish noble kept Aria-sama company just once and then lost interest, and shut her up in this mansion without conferring any status to her at all. The three of us, who had nowhere to go, were employed for this mansion by Aria-sama’s recommendation. Luckily or unluckily, Aria-sama was pregnant with Sirius-sama. As soon as that became clear, though only giving a little bit of money, ‘raise Sirius-sama as a spare heir’……he said.”

I’m sure they were vexed from the bottom of their heart. Even though that detestable noble is my father, she’s not holding back. That’s fine, the whole time……that was just the resentment piled up for years. I think she’s putting an end to that and spitting it all out. .

“It was proven afterwards, but the fight for political power was discovered to be caused by that noble because he also wanted Aria-sama. Her parents are also untraceable. How often I loathed that noble…”

Truly a sleazebag.
Knowing these facts, if I had met him yesterday, then I probably would’ve done him in. I had the confidence that I could do him in without being affected at all. I’m having dark thoughts, and suddenly Erina-san—who had wrinkled her brow—smiled wryly.

“However, Aria-sama was different. While caressing her stomach that had become enlarged, she happily said ‘my child’ and was in high-spirits. I also said something impolite like ‘It’s that noble’s child!’, but this is what Aria-sama said:”

“Neglect it because it’s that man’s child? That’s absolutely not okay. This child is innocent, so we have to raise him well. Besides, my mother and father are alive somewhere, and there’s also Erina, Dee and Noel here as well. It’s an environment where I can feel at ease and raise this child, right? What more can I ask for?”

“……Being told that, there was nothing I could say in reply. That lady simply thought that as long as Sirius-sama and we were safe, it was okay’, and only that. Moreover, that ‘this child is the child of all of us’. She truly was a lady of high caliber.”

Indomitable, or perhaps I should say, a really magnanimous person. Even if she wasn’t my mother, I would have liked to have met her once.

“As her last month of pregnancy approached, Aria-sama’s physical condition suddenly changed. Since she was a lady who had a bit of a weak constitution to begin with, perhaps that was also as a matter of course. ‘Giving birth in that weakened condition is suicidal’. Nevertheless, Aria-sama replied that she would give birth, and then……”

I was born and my mother died……is what she means?

“Your name is Sirius. My Sirius, I love you. Please live honestly believing in yourself and without being bound to anything. That’s your mother’s wish. Erina, I leave the rest to you. Give him……my love as well.”

“Those were Aria-sama’s last words. I was at a loss with the bequeathed Sirius-samain front of me, but the moment I held you up in my arms, all my anxiety and confusion disappeared. The detestable man’s child; even so, exactly as Aria-sama said, the child is completely innocent. At that moment, I succeeded Aria-sama’s will, and I swore to protect Sirius-sama. Even though I swore to protect you……I—……”

After that, Erina-san continued to talk about the current situation while crying.

It was Erina-san who had vented out her heart full of emotions, but now—as if she finally regained her composure—she embarrassingly held her head in her hands. She had likely remembered that the person she was talking to was a three-year-old child.

“Haa……For me to be showing such an appearance—. I am sorry, I lost my composur—……”

“You……understand? But for a three-year-old to understand that…”

Erina-san was making a face of curiosity, but as I tell her about yesterday’s conversation, her face becomes dyed with surprise. If you’re that surprised just from me having eavesdropped on the conversation, then I wonder what will happen with what I’m about so say next.

“Erina, what I’m about to talk about is something crazy.”

“My secret. You might not believe me, but I want you to listen and then make a judgement.”

Without a fragment of innocence. I’m giving off something similar to a overbearing atmosphere: I wonder how she will perceive me. We are silently looking hard at one another, but Erina-san gave a smile.

“Please let me hear what you have to say without making such an anxious face. Whatever happens, I am on your side.”

Mu, is it shown on my face? Perhaps it’s strongly influenced by the immature body, I’ve been lax in my control of my expression.

“Does Erina have dreams?”

“What if one was able to see that clearly, and moreover, remember it?”

‘Hey, my previous existence was in another world and I have the memories of a person who lived until they were over sixty.’……even if I were to explain it like that, it’d only be troublesome in various ways. If that’s the case, then it would be okay if I make my whole previous existence a ‘dream’.

“Although I forgot when it started, I’ve been continuously seeing a certain man in my dreams. It’s as if I became that person; everyday I have various experiences, I study various things. Even when I wake up, it remains in my head, and I acquire that knowledge when I become aware of it.”

“I still have them. Recently I participated in a war and learned how to fight. That’s the reason why I could defeat those goblins. Although I don’t know why it turned out like this, I think it’s a good thing. I was thus able to save Erina because of it.”

I tried telling Erina-san my secret while summing it up; I feel that it’s going well, but she had a pensive look on her face.

Her reply was……to hug me.

“Rarely crying, reading the letters of the alphabet in merely a year, and comprehending magic. I had various doubts, but to think that there were such reasons for it… Not to mention things like war……you have been through many hardships haven’t you?”

Uuumu, I didn’t think that she would believe it this easily. She said that my mother was a big-shot, but Erina-san is every bit a ‘big-shot’.

Iya……it’s different. In regards to me, she is unconditionally on my side. Even if I was a criminal or whatever, she would continue to protect me.

“The aforementioned is my secret. Therefore I comprehend the current situation. I will be chased out after five years, right?”

“Come now, it’s not like that. I’m here right now because Erina has done her best. It’s also why Dee and Noel are also able to be here, smiling.”
“I am not worthy of those words.”

The affection that Erina-san is directing at me can only be seen as the love one has for their own child. I think it’d be okay if she revealed a bit more of herself, but since there’s her position and everything, let’s respect her wishes.
As she is an attendant, what I’ll say is this:

“Once again, thank you Erina. I’m counting on you from now on as well.”

It somehow worked out amicably. I was also able to explain my current state of affairs, so I can most likely move around flamboyantly from now on.

“Sirius-sama, if it’s alright with you, what do you think about also telling Dee and Noel what we just talked about?”

“Like me, the two of them were saved by Aria-sama, and we have been through hardships together. They are people worthy of your trust.”

“They’ll be astonished. I look forward to seeing just how much that expressionless face of Dee’s will crumble.”

Erina-san and I laughed while imagining the pair’s response. Noel losing her cool, Dee calming her down while expressionless, Erina-san smiling. Things weren’t just going back to how they were; from now on, it’s not just me, we’re all going to become stronger.


Afterwards, I tidied up the kitchen, boiled some water and wiped down Erina-san’s body. Erina-san did nothing but modestly decline, and yet she smiled delightfully when I wiped her down.
I prepare the black tea again, and at around the time the sun goes down, the two people who had gone out had returned. They came back, but they’re strangely noisy. They ran around the house while making the sounds of large footsteps, and opened the door of the room without a knock.

“Erina-san! Are you alright?!”

Noel was breathing roughly and burst into the room. One step behind her, Dee also burst into the room. It was so noisy that Erina-san held her hand to her forehead and sighed.

“Noel, you are being noisy. First get through reporting of your return to Sirius-sama.”

“I understand, so settle down and explain it calmly.”

Noel was completely in a state of confusion; we had a hard time calming her down.

This time’s shopping trip was in order to not meet my father, but that father is to meet with Erina-san. And the Demon’s Water disease had also spread widely in the neighbouring town from where father had departed from. The possibility of water-attribute Erina-san being infected was extremely high.
Having realized that today, they returned in a fluster.

Having finished explaining, Noel finally calmed down. While expressionless, Dee is also calm, and seeing Erina-san’s face in good health, the pair let leak a sigh of relief.

“Iyaa, I feel relieved. It’s really great that Erina-san wasn’t infected.”

“I was infected.”

Noel’s smile solidified.

“Oh come on, you are full of life aren’t you? Please stop joking around.”

“We ran out of medicine didn’t w—……aah, was there in fact just one remaining?”
“We had run out. Sirius-sama compounded some for me.”

I was sitting beside her and she went to pat my head but stopped, however I catch ahold of her hand and forcibly make her pat my head. In all likelihood, knowing my true nature, she probably thought that it would be rude to pat my head; but she would have normally patted my head before, so I resorted to telling her with my body: ‘isn’t it fine if you pat me without reserve?’. It seemed like it got through to her; she patted me. My interior is an ossan, but I am a child so it’s fine.

“Heeh, as expected of Sirius-sama. Who would’ve guessed that he could also……do……eeeeeeh!”

“Ha, hai! But, how did you do the compounding? Even though there wasn’t any Water Demon grass in the house…”

“Eh? Eh? What is, what’s going on?”
“I understand. Noel, calm down a bit.”

Noel started to become confused once again, but Dee changed his posture to intently and exclusively listen to me while calming Noel down. As Erina-san was looking over here, I nodded and invited her to continue. I entrusted the explanation to Erina-san. It’s by no means because it was troublesome. That way they could accept it more easily, and if she makes a mistake, then it’ll be okay if I point them out.
While interjecting in Erina-san’s explanation, the sun had completely fallen around the time we finished talking. Now then, as for the two who found out my secret…

“ “………” ”

Just as I thought, they are speechless.
Noel’s face is swinging between rejoice and worry, and Dee was expressionless with a furrow on his face, earnestly submerged in the swirls of his thoughts. Well, yeah, you wouldn’t be able to act normally after being slapped with that information all of a sudden. It seemed like the stillness would last for a long time, so I re-make several people’s worth of tea, I place it in front of the two of them, and they finally restarted.

“There are various things which I can’t believe, but there are also points which I understand. Moreover, this is also……”

Noel drinks the black tea which I had prepared, and gave a satisfied nod.

“This black tea, it’s not a flavour which can be brought out very easily. Actually, isn’t it more delicious than the one I make?! It’s mortifying……er no, has Dee-san taught Sirius-sama how to prepare black tea before?”

“I haven’t either. Erina-san hasn’t either right?”
“Of course. Since preparing the tea is our job.”

This girl sometimes displays penetrating insight.

There’s a standard for black tea called the ‘golden rule’; in this world, that standard is crude. The temperature of the water is low, the steaming time is short, etc.: there are various points but I received the best parts of the method.
The discussion has gone off track. At any rate, this means that Noel is convinced by the fact that I could use a method of preparing tea which I wasn’t taught.

“Ume~……it’s delicious but it’s vexing. Don’t you think so too, Dee-san?”

“Ouch! I never would’ve thought that it would be backwards and I would be the one taught; as your onee-chan, I’m……eei, please teach me too!”

The pride of the older sister is cheap. Maa, I also drink black tea, so let’s show the three of them how to prepare it next time.
Just as everyone had accepted the story, Noel’s stomach growled. Her face was bright red, but there’s no helping it as it’s already past dinner time.

“I’ll exchange the magic tool, and immediately make preparations.”

“Dee, as the fire I ignited some time ago is still left on, I think it’ll be okay if you leave the exchange for after you’ve made dinner.”

“About that, the box had fallen and all the stones had cracked; I had a hard time because of it.”
“ “ “Eh!?” ” ”

Was there something weird with what I said?
However, the three of them all had their mouths open and are speechless…

“Dee, there wasn’t supposed to be a spare magic square, right?”

“And I, of the fire-attribute, had also gone out.”

“I used frictional heating on the live coals, was it something unwise?”
“Frictional heating?”

I have a feeling that we’re not quite on the same conversation wavelength.
It’s said that the proof is better than the argument; it’s in the bedroom, but I prepare the same things as I did yesterday and created just the live coals. Good kids, don’t copy me too much.

“No aria? This isn’t magic, is it?”

“This is the first time I’ve seen it. This is revolutionary.”

Such a primitive method is revolutionary?
I don’t really understand the conventional wisdom of this worl—……wait a second?

In that instant, I realized that I had made an unexpected misunderstanding.

Ending with this one insight, the incident this time was resolved.


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