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{Beep — the system is loading. }

{10%, 40%, 80%, 100%… The system has finished loading. Verifying host information. }

{Verification of host information is complete. Starting system-to-host binding.}

Luo Shitu was struck dumb. Wait a minute, he was really just eating grapes and forgot to spit out the skin just a minute ago!

A transparent screen popped up before his eyes, and lines of text started to appear. There was a scrolling feature along with it.

{Name: Luo Shitu

Age: 23

Race: (pathetic) Human

Ancestory:  Mixed (Chinese and European)

Skills: Eat grapes without peeling off the skin (big cute meng point)

Sexuality: Unclear (Looking forward to you uncovering your hidden preferences and coming out of the closet, young man!)}

Luo Shitu: “…I just forgot to spit the grape skin.” Furthermore, what's with the extra words inside the parentheses? 'Hidden preferences', 'coming out the closet', are you trying to imply that I am gay!

{System successfully bound. Greetings from this BL [1] system, please don't address this system so casually, refer to this system as 'Lord Thousand-Years ", thank you for your cooperation. }

{This Lord is committed to social harmony and peace in the universe. In order to achieve this goal, your mission is to travel through three thousand small worlds, replacing one of the original characters of the world to complete the designated system tasks to abuse various kinds of Mary Sue, Gary Stu [2], etc characters endangering the well-being of the world.  Rewards and penalties you receive are related to the degree of how well each task is completed. Points can be redeemed for products from the system store. The store may or may not open depending on the degree in which the first mission is complete.}

{Giving basic instructions completed. Do you have any questions, young man?}

Hey, can you stop asking me so many questions! You're the one that randomly appeared and started rambling about BL systems and being warned to peel grape skin before eating grapes, ah! What is the meaning of all this?!

{No questions, excellent. Young man, please prepare to enter the first world. Starting countdown: 5, 4, 3……}

Luo Shitu: “…” You didn't give me any time to ask my questions, Bastard!

 ———The dividing line after which the first world is entered. ———

{The first world: the powerful director loves the white lotus housemaid. }

{To accommodate the current adaptation ability of the host, the background setting of the first world is similar to the original living environment of the host. The main plot of the world:

He, Director Wen, was an arrogant man, but no one knew of the loneliness in his heart.

She, a pure and lovely maid, was an orphan who was energetic and hardworking, illuminated his heart like a ray of sunshine.

She loved him, but hurt him.

She couldn't bear to let him go, but also didn't want to hurt him.


“Hey, System, speak English!”

{Please address this system as Lord Thousand-Years. Thank you for your cooperation. }

“…Lord Thousand-Years, speak plainly, use words that humans can understand!”

{After taking into consideration the IQ of this host, this Lord will skip the poetic, romantic parts. The main plot of the world is the love triangle between President Wen Yan, his housemaid, and the Tang family's son. As for the original character the host has replaced, this character is very close to President Wen, so the host has the opportunity to use this close relationship with the president to obtain his favor and affection–that is, this host has transmigrated into the body of a golden retriever: the president's pet dog.}

"!" Wtf, do I look like the harmonious cross-breed between an immortal and a horse? Even though I, Luo Shitu, is a mixed race, I was still born and raised in China, I cannot accept this!  Luo Shitu lifted a fluffy paw and hatefully scratched at a patch of grass.

{The main task of the world: completely defeat the white lotus female lead Su Momo. Unlocked current mission: go home and find Wen Yan. Points to be rewarded: 10. }

Going home is a simple task–wait a minute. Luo Shitu shook himself, hey, isn't he adapting to his role of being a dog a little too well–I, Luo Shitu, really use to be human just a few moments ago!

People walking by saw this scene of a lazy, golden-looking golden retriever suddenly spring up, looking dumb and adorable  but also a bit angry and wronged, and couldn't help laughing.

Luo Shitu stared at the laughing passersby with his pair of shiny, round dog eyes. His dog nose made a huffing sound. He moved his four paws and started padding away, following the memory of the original golden retriever.

After running across a street, Luo Shitu saw a group of people surrounding something out of the corner of his eyes. While his curiosity was growing, the system blared an alarm.

{Danger! Danger! X virus spread, it will soon be the end of the world, zombies will appear. The host has encountered a survival crisis! Current task changes: Be a loyal golden retriever, warn the owner that the end of the world is coming! Points to be reward: 20. }

Wtf! How does having zombies appear in this story make this setting similar to my original living environment, you tell me!

Luo Shitu was so agitated he almost vomited blood [3] . He stretched his legs further and ran towards Wen Yan's villa.

{This Lord saved the host's right to know. The first world: the end of the world, the powerful president loves the white lotus housemaid. Young man, you are too young and too simple! Boring!}

Luo Shitu directly fell down, what the right to know? Go to hell [4] !

Wen Yan sat on the white sofa, feet flat on the white carpet flooring. He had mussed black hair that swept across his forehead and wore a set of casual white clothing that softened his sharp aura that would be strongly present on weekdays. His calm and quiet appearance resembled a gentle and meticulous jade. His eyebrows, though delicate, are not very feminine. When angered, they are particularly fierce. They once scared a male secretary so bad he started crying. This same face, when softened, can charm almost anyone.

Su Momo sneaked a look at him while she was mopping the floor. Her heart pounded, how can such a good-looking person exist in this world.

“Where is Fluffy?” Wen Yan asked casually with  raised eyebrows. He put down the newspaper in his hand.

Su Momo blushed and said, “Fluffy  went out to play this morning.”

Wen Yan hummed at her answer, but didn't pay it too much mind. If it wasn't because his grandfather insisted on placing this little golden retriever in his care and losing it would make their next visit awkward, he wouldn’t have bothered asking.

Su Momo opened her mouth, wanting to say something, but not knowing what. When she finally worked up the courage to speak, a golden fluff ball shot in through the door and pounced onto a pair of warm thighs.

Luo Shitu panted harshly from his run. Fortunately the dog's body had strong physical strength so he caught his breath just a few moments after landing in Wen Yan's lap.

Luo Shutu's claws on his four paws hooked onto the other's pants. He lifted his head, and yelled, "Arf! Arf!" Immediately afterwards, he felt frustrated. How can he expect Wen Yan to understand the dog language!

Wen Yan looked down and saw four paws, stained with who knows how much dirt, rubbing on his white pants. His eyebrows wrinkled. In a cold voice, he said, “Get off.”

Luo Shitu lowered his head pitifully, his eyes shining as if he felt very wronged. This scene, in Wen Yan's eyes, was a helpless stupid dog that looked although more pleasing to the eye than before, but also seemed to have become more stupid. Wen Yan thought for a moment, then picked up the little golden retriever with one arm and went upstairs.

Luo Shitu waved his paws  in the air in vain. He barked and barked, but the hand holding him did not let go. He could only hang his limbs limply like a dead dog and let himself be carried into the bathroom.

Wen Yan was hardly interested in giving his pet a bath. With his cold personality, he would certainly not tolerate a little golden retriever playing around in the bath water. Fortunately, the little golden retriever in front of him did not have the soul of a puppy anymore. Otherwise, the original little golden retriever would have been thrown in the trash after this bath.

When Wen Yan took out the dog fur shampoo, he saw Luo Shutu squatting obediently beside him, his tail sweeping back and forth on the floor. It was very tempting to play with him. Wen Yan rubbed his eyes, took the shower head and sat on the stool. He started to wash the golden retriever.

Luo Shitu followed Wen Yan's movements. He raised one hind leg, then the other, then lifted his front paws. This feeling of being served in the bath was actually kind of comfortable. No, wait, how could you be enjoying taking a bath as if this was a leisurely moment!

Wen Yan gazed at the small golden retriever behaving obediently in front of him. The corner of his mouth was dangerously tilted upwards in a small arc. Before, every time Su Momo took this small golden retriever to take a bath,  he could always hear miserable sounds of barking coming out from the bathroom. Who would've thought that he would be so good today? Just then, as if the small dog had an interesting thought, the pair of large, black eyes lit up. Wen Yan held his dog's chin in one hand, and stroked his dog's stomach with the other.

Luo Shitu had just remembered that he could write to communicate. With a loud bark, he fled to the corner of the bathroom like a streak of lightning. A certain dog's face was about to combust into flames–Wen Yan actually touched the golden retriever’s [BEEP–]!

{Young man, the beeping noise does not conceal the facts. }

“…Get lost."

Although this was not his own body, because Luo Shitu was bound to the golden retriever’s body, the touch stirred up some unclear feelings. After all, the inside this body was a 23-year-old adult, and Luo Shitu can’t avoid feeling the embarrassment as if the human equivalent part on his body had been touched.

Wen Yan gazed at his dog’s face, which, although he couldn't read any of his facial expression, he saw the obvious conflicting emotions in his dog's eyes. After a moment of silence, he reached out and fished Luo Shitu out from the corner and continued to wash him.

Luo Shitu had also quickly adjusted his mentality, and after five hundred seconds, he was back to behaving like a good dog. After a shower, he sat through being blow-dried. He shook his golden fur and ran into the Wen Yan's bedroom.

Wen Yan stood at the edge of his bed and watched the little golden retriever jump around, tumbling in all sorts of forms onto the ground. Dark patches appeared on the mahogany floor on the places the golden retriever had stepped on with its wet paws. Together, they spelled out the words: 'The end of the world".

The words were twisted and lines were crooked, rather ugly-looking, but they were able to be read quite clearly. They really said 'the end of the world [5] '.

After writing this phrase, Luo Shutu took a break. He flopped down beside the words and decided to wait for them to dry before continuing to write. He lifted his head to look at Wen Yan's reaction. The psychological strength of the president was not the same as that of average people. He thought that the other party would be surprised. In actuality, the man's expression had not changed.

Wen Yan truly had been a bit surprised, but he hadn't shown it. He had always been indifferent to the things happening around him. With this indifferent personality, it was already very unusual to feel surprised. In fact, he noticed it seemed like, because he did not appear to be surprised by this, his small golden retriever was very disappointed. It looked even more stupid now. This was quite interesting.

To finish off, Luo Shitu wrote the word 'zombies'. 20 points were awarded for his successful delivery. After it became apparent that the small golden retriever had no more information to write, Wen Yan took him over to his desk and asked, "Name?"

Luo Shitu thought about it for a minute, then he painted 'Tu' with the water droplets from his wet paw.

“Tu… Tutu.” Wen Yan drummed his fingers on his table and smiled, “A good name.”

Saying it in such a weird way, what are you trying to do? Luo Shitu shook his fur, reluctantly agreeing to this new name.

“Demon? Artificial Intelligence?”

Which one should he say he is? Luo Shidu hesitated for a moment, trying to decide. Seeing him like this, Wen Yan's eyes flashed and he skipped over this question: "Since you don't want to tell me, then forget it. You said the end of the world is coming. In that case, where should we go?"

{Ding—Unlocked current mission: Brave Golden Retriever, protect the owner on his journey to the b city base! Bonus points: 100. }

Luo Shitu immediately used his paw to draw a 'b'.

Wen Yan has expected that answer. Regardless of other places, City B, being the political capital of the country, had to be the best safe zone. “How many more days are there until the official start of the end of the world?”

Luo Shitu drew three strokes.

When Wen Yan looked at the lines and didn't ask any more questions. He picked up Luo Shutu and went downstairs. He was planning to hand him over to Su Momo so that he could go out and prepare for it. On the way, he could check to see if the things this golden retriever said were true.

Who would have guessed that, as soon as the small golden retriever saw Su Momo, he started screaming. He would not let her touch him at all, unwilling to part from Wen Yan no matter what.

Su Momo’s eyes turned red. She had clearly always treated Fluffy very well, but he wouldn't even let her touch him today. If the dog behaved like this, then wouldn't her boss think she was abusing him…

Luo Shitu saw the red-eyed Su Momo from the corner of his eyes. His heart was distressed while his paws gripped Wen Yan's trousers tightly. I, Luo Shitu, also did not want to shamelessly grip the owner's thigh like a spoiled child, but every time he got close to the female lead, the system would scream warnings!

Wen Yan's feet were frozen by his dog's hysterical barks. He only contemplated it for a moment before picking up Luo Shitu in his arms and bringing him out the door.
Bringing his dog along would not cause any major problems, and, afterall, the things that you love the most are safest when they are kept by your side. Wen Yan gripped the steering wheel with both hands and glanced sideways at Luo Shitu sitting obediently on the front passenger seat. Tsk, the longer he looked, the more he thought: "This dog is really dumb" [6].

[T/N: Annotations]

[1] BL = Boys’ Love
[2]"Mary Sue, Gary Stu" = the female/male terms used to describe unrealistic characters (e.g. no flaws, too perfect), typically created as an idealization of the author by the author themselves
[3] This is an expression to mean he was extremely agitated; he doesn't literally vomit blood.
[4]Literal translation: paint your face with blood! Here, Luo Shitu is doing something along the lines of cursing the system to death.
[5]In Chinese, this meaning can be written in two words: 末世. So actually, Luo Shitu only wrote two words (11 pen strokes in Chinese instead of 15 in English…)
[6]Literal translation of the original phrase: "The longer he looked, the dumber the dog became"

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