Over this time Xia Ling Mei was not relaxed and comfortable as she appeared.
Wang Yun Feng’s demotion appeared to be a compromise between the emperor and the influential families, beating Wang Yun Feng down, as if compensating the influential families he had offended in the past. As if to say, look at me, executioner Wang Yun Feng has been demoted, they found their opportunity, the emperor isn’t happy, that’s why the emperor punished him, pulling him down from third rank to fifth rank, see the emperor pays attention to everyone’s opinions.
In realty, people who use their heads inevitably think further into the future. Back then Wang Yun Feng was given the imperial decree to investigate, in a short half a year he went to quite a few places, getting in touch with a lot of officials and ordinary people. Supposedly the accounts book he handed over when he came back, it was enough for a case to be spread over an area, it was clear how many people how many dirty things were reported.
But after handing the things over they never left home, and had little contact with the outside world, the emperor even after seeing all those accounts book did not do anything, it was too strange.
It was like someone shouting `a storm is coming, concentrated black clouds were heading over, the sun was blocked, clothes had been taken inside, but waiting for around a month, that gale shower simply did not come, making people feel they made a fuss over nothing, were they played by Wang Yun Feng?
The rats hiding in the government offices stealthily stuck their heads out, after conspiring together they decided to make the first move, pulling Wang Yun Feng off his horse, then once more negotiate with the emperor.
Afterwards, Wang Yun Feng, Wang Yun Feng was off his horse, the emperor then did not show any wish to sort out the corrupt officials.
All was quiet.
But, not even two days later, Wang Yun Feng was sent out on a mission. This disaster relief, when he was to return was truthfully uncertain. Maybe, there were so many victims of the disaster, resettling once more needed quite a lot of time, and the dam had to be fixed, fertile land re-established, and to socialise with the local officials, around a year would be
necessary. If the matter wasn’t settled, Wang Yun Feng may have to stay there unable to come home for several years.
This was equivalent to being appointed to a post outside of the capital, and might as well be holding the power of a local simple official.
Over these days she went to pry news from each family, and on the way coax a few relations, allowing Wang Yun Feng to b able to return home a bit quicker. If there were people helping inside the imperial court, Wang Yun Feng would not have to suffer so much.
She was anxious, even though she kept a relaxed and comfortable joyous appearance.
When Bai Yan asked, she then dragged up the anger from the bottom of her heart.
“Where this mistress goes, when she returns, is beyond your criticism.”
Bai Yan simply was not afraid of Xia Ling Mei’s anger. He was Wang Yun Feng’s personal guard, from start to finish he only listened to Wang Yun Feng’s orders, when he considered things he stood in the viewpoint of Wang Yun Feng.
To Bai Yan, he really couldn’t bear seeing Xia Ling Mei leave! He also believed, inside this Wang residence the people who were wholeheartedly felt for Wang Yun Feng, felt restless in their hearts every time Xia Ling Mei left the house.
Only, usually Wang Yun Feng didn’t say anything, these people could only endure it. Like Xia Ling Mei said, they simply weren’t in the position to ask. One was the master, the other was a servant, when was a servant entitled to ask where their master goes.
Xia Ling Mei furiously returned to the rear court, a young maid scared witless poured tea for her, and presented a few plates of light refreshments. The light refreshments had just come out of the kitchen, soft and warm smelling sweet.
At the end of the month, the dark red and green maple trees added colour against the grey sky, even looking at it, you can feel the cold hovering in the air. This sort of cold came from the deepest level, rubbing the both hands vigorously yet warmth could not be felt, only seeing a dry palm, but the fingertips felt sticky and unbearable.
Xia Ling Mei stamped her feet with all her strength, pacing around the house a few times.
Xiu Yu and Ying Shi saw she was fidgety, suggesting to embroider or maybe look at paintings and calligraphy.
“I’m not you, how can I be calm enough to do such things.”
Taking two mouthful of light refreshments, she simply ran to the courtyard with her whip and brandished it a few times, shipping the limestone floor that clay flew upwards from the cracks.
On the half dried up tree trunk, many yellow leaves were also shaken off, falling vastly and variously, decorating her dark red long sleeves, very much resembling Wang Yun Feng’s nostalgic portrait. In the seven years, Wang Yun Feng painted many portraits of Xia Ling Mei, there were ones of her in her childhood learning martial arts, clumsily falling onto the ground waiting; and there were ones of her as a young lady, arrogantly laughing in a tyrannical manner; and ones when they first married, extremely tired sleeping on the soft bed. The most were, the silhouette of her brandishing her whip over and over in all four seasons. The Xia Ling Mei in the portraits was like a fireball, now and then igniting the man’s intellect.
From the servants view, the Xia Ling Mei today had been angered quite a bit by Bai Yan, treating the floor like Bai Yan as she flogged it. Everyone waiting upon her, couldn’t help take a step and another back, making all the effort to hide their figure, hoping the mistress wouldn’t spread the destruction.
Under the old housekeeper’s armpits was wedged a thin cloth, swaying unhurriedly pass the doorway of the courtyard, he took a furtive look, he asked laughing: “Mistress, do you want this old slave to truss up Bai Yan for you to vent out your anger?”
“Humph!”
“Aiya, that boy Bai Yan has been difficult since he was a child. The more he cares about something the more he speaks lightly, its rather a trivial matter, he wishes for the whole world to be in chaos…a matter as small as a sesame seed.”
Could it be the reason he went to find Xia Ling Mei was for `a big matter` the size of sesame seed?
Xia Ling Mei couldn’t get angry at the old housekeeper, she flicked her wrist, relaxing the long whip, the asked: “Does the old housekeeper want to say something to me on behalf of Bai Yan?”
The old housekeeper gently laughed: “It’s nothing, it’s only a matter as big as a sesame seed.”
If it could make the old housekeeper warn her cautiously and seriously, how could it be a trivial matter.
Xia Ling Mei put away the long whip, taking the handkerchief offered by a young maid to wipe her sweat, and went to change her clothes, once again drank some hot tea, before then sitting down calmly to listen to the old housekeeper.
“Mistress, this old slave’s words may be right, or may not be right. But, as an old person who has lived in the Wang residence all his life, I hope you will carefully listen to this old slaves words, then consider it before again making a decision.”
Xia Ling Mei nodded, both hands holding the teacup, compared to just now she was cold to the bones, at this moment at least her palms were a little warm.
“This old slave has said to the mistress before, a pained heart is true suffering. The suffering our master had when he was young was from the old master, it’s a type of suffering every son of an imperial censor has to experience. The position of an imperial censor, an average person cannot do it, it offends many, very few close friends. As a child the master had a gentle temper, the common saying a virtuous person will be taken unfair advantage of by people, when the master was bullied, for the most part he was used to suffering in silence, over time people didn’t even know he was suffering.
By the time he was a young man, the mistress has also experienced it, that is the matter with the Zhao princess. At that time, the master finally for the first time faced up to his own capabilities, he discovered he was too weak, unable to control his own future. His suffering at that time, was a suffering we all experienced, an unattainable suffering.
During that time, the master almost had a setback which ruined him.”
Xia Ling Mei lowered her head, concealing the pain in the corner of her eyes. At that time, far more than Wang Yun Feng being unable to obtain Xia Ling Wo, she Xia Ling Mei married Wang Yun Feng, but could not obtain his heart, how much more was that sort of bitter pain compared to Wang Yung Feng?
“That year, the master found himself to be too weak, on the wedding night the old mistress was seriously ill, afterwards, the old master also passed away. Only the mistress was left by his side, and three years later, even the mistress was gone forever. Even the master didn’t know, at that time there was a child in mistress’ stomach. Almost in a night, he lost the people closest to him. He became a loner.”
Turning her head, Xia Ling Mei’s gazed at the middle of the courtyard. The leaves which had just fallen had already been trampled on, pulverising them into slush, yellow, black and brown, clumping into a dumpling, representing those heart wrenching days.
“Saying a few disrespectful words, sometimes this old slave look at him, he only seems like a large dog having been abandoned by his family, alone guarding his den, afraid to wander too far, dreading when the mistress returned she wouldn’t see him; yet he didn’t dare to stay at the den every day, because guarding such a huge house by himself, day by day, year by year, from hope to fear, again to despair, then desperation, until finally, he didn’t even know why he was guarding this place, who he was waiting for…”
The old housekeeper couldn’t help take out a smoking pipe, trembling he opened the pack of tobacco, unintentionally he grabbed a lot of tobacco threads pushing it into the spot of the pipe, using all his strength to push, striking it with enthusiasm with his finger. His movements were too great, he didn’t even glance at the accounts book which fell out.
“The master was promoted very quickly, depending entirely on the relations the mistress had established for him at that time. Later the emperor summoned him, speaking to him for a night, the next day when the master came back he immediately wrote the accounts book, reporting someone to the emperor. That was the first time the master supervised a beheading, watching the whole family of a corrupt official regardless whether they were men, women, young or old, all of them beheaded, blood covered the floor, having washed it away the scent of blood could be smelled half a street away. After, he would come across assassination day and night, several times his life was suspended by a thread, sometimes he stayed in bed for a month, having got up for a few days, again he would report someone, that rude and impetuous manner, it resembled jealousy and hatred, which brought about his own destruction.
The master has been alone for too long, unconsciously he believed the mistress would never return. He didn’t have his parents, the family didn’t want him, he had no meaning by himself…”
Speaking up to this point, the old housekeeper suddenly started coughing, pulling from the pipe even more fiercely. The cup of tea in Xia Ling Mei had already turned cold, her bones also felt a slight chill.
“At the end of every year he waited for the mistress to return, becoming the hope which supported him to go on with a clear-head.”
“Clear-head?”
“Yes, clear-head. While the mistress wasn’t in Beiding city, the master seemed to live in his dreamland in general, no matter what finding all kinds of reasons to hurt himself. Many times, the old slave felt, he hoped to get hurt, because only when he is seriously injured can he fall asleep, when he’s in pain he doesn’t have to think about anything, even more he wouldn’t have the energy to paint, take a stroll around Bailu academy, go to the Xia residence to be bullied.”
The old housekeeper laughed, wrinkles forming on his forehead into the word `川`. Taping the pipe, he disposed some cigarette ash no longer burning, those matters from the past dissipated with the cigarette ash.
“The mistress has returned, this old slave is truly extremely happy. Even more happy because, there’s the young master, even if he hasn’t had the time to acknowledge his ancestors, he is still the son of the master’s first wife, the people in the residence is genuinely happy for the master. Everyone in the residence firmly believe it will become better and better, the old master will no longer be harmed, and won’t wander about day and night, he will busily be sweet with the mistress.”
Xia Ling Mei laughed.
The old housekeeper also laughed: “And busily catch the young master. The young master really is wild, when this old slave first discovered there was such a lively child of the Wang family, not abiding by the rules, mischievously stir up trouble, and commit any imaginable misdeed. He was so naughty, this old slave really wanted to beat him up.”
Xia Ling Mei laughed even more cheerfully and light-hearted.
“But,” The old housekeeper brushed away the ash on his knee, that smile of his was like an afterglow, slowly it died out.
Xia Ling Mei was silent, she faintly knew what the other person wanted to say. The smile at the corner of her mouth also faded, fingertips running along the edge of the teacup, the tea leaves in the cup had already been soaked so long they turned yellow, the greenish-blue liquid was polluted by the blackness of the person’s heart, yellowish-black evenly contaminated the dark green.
She said: “But the memories of the past are too profound, he will always be worried, afraid I will be disappointed in him, scared Fen Er will be angry with him, dreading the family he had obtained with great difficulty will once again leave.”
Xia Ling Mei incidentally lifted her head, that’s when she notice there was something sliding from the corners of her eyes, flowing to her temple: “Bai Yan repeatedly wanted to say something to me but then hesitated, he was afraid I would leave once again and hurt Wang Yun Feng, right…”
“He wants to ask the mistress to go with the master. Because, no one knows this time with the master’s departure, if he’ll actually be able to return.”
There was a scar on Wang Yun Feng’s heart, he was determined everyone could easily abandon him. His parents, his wife, his son, everyone could leave him, even if they wouldn’t right now, sooner or later in the future they will.
He will forever be alone.
He wanted to protect them, but he also didn’t dare to.
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T/N: An insight into our WYF's heart >_< and why XLM is so willing to forgive.