Chapter 59 – A Youth's Soliloquy Before a Great Black Dragon
Translated by: Hypersheep325
Edited by: Michyrr
This was the most noble being in the three thousand worlds, the coldest existence in the world, possessing an indescribable might. Besides those grand cultivators who had exceeded the mundane world, how could insignificant humans stand before a great Black Dragon like this?
No matter how persistent and determined Chen Changsheng was, he could not resist this primordial pressure. He tightly shut his lips so as to avoid the chattering of his teeth from being heard, yet he could not stop his body from shaking, every bone of his body seeming to lament.
Ploomph! He did not prostrate before the Black Dragon, but he could not stand straight either. He fell right onto the hard and cold ground, fell very heavily. His mind was somewhat scattered, not thinking about pain, only constantly repeating these sentences in his heart.
"The legend is true!
"There really is a dragon in the Imperial Palace!
"One of the noblest Black Frost Dragons!"
Before pushing open the stone door, he had thought of many possibilities.
He thought the source of the terrifying pressure behind the stone door might be the old Guardian within the palace who possessed a Saint Realm cultivation and had secluded himself for more than a century already. He also thought that behind these doors could be the pivotal point of the Imperial Palace's great array, and he even thought that it might be the skeletal remains of a great dragon, yet he never imagined…
Behind the stone door was a living dragon!
Since the passing of the ancient era, it had become extremely difficult to find traces of the Dragon race on the continent. Those noble and formidable beings had gradually faded from memory until they were on the verge of becoming divine beings that only existed in books. No person had ever seen them before. Chen Changsheng had imagined the appearance of dragons countless times and wanted to personally see one.
Tonight, he finally saw one, but he would now prefer that he not see one for his entire life.
This Black Dragon was currently floating in the air in front of him, gazing down upon him.
The light of several thousand Night Pearls on the dome of the cavern was completely absorbed by its black scales. The pure black dragon was as terrifying as an abyss brought to life, but its eyes were its most frightening aspect. Those two eyes were brimming with cold indifference and cruelty.
Chen Changsheng understood the meaning of these eyes: it was a human child gazing at the ants on a tree.
It was a particularly pure sort of coldness and cruelty. It did not require reasons, did not require justification.
A child could watch the ants on a tree for an hour, and then crush all the ants to death with their shoe.
This was the attitude of higher lifeforms towards the lowly.
Chen Changsheng finally understood the meaning of Mo Yu's parting words.
Yes, no person could leave the Tong Palace, because the Tong Palace's gate of life was beneath the cold pond.
The cold pond was a true dragon pond. A great Black Dragon lived here. Any person that encountered it would die.
However, Mo Yu had not expected him to have the courage, or perhaps the stupidity, to persist until he arrived in front of the Black Dragon.
The frost on Chen Changsheng's eyelashes suddenly fell off like the snow being blown off the petals of a plum blossom.
A small gust blew through the underground cavern.
The Black Dragon was preparing to breathe.
Chen Changsheng knew that in the next moment, he would die.
When he pushed open the door, he had already prepared many countermeasures. Even if it really was the old Guardian who was in the Saint Realm, he still believed that his death was not assured. He believed that as long as he could communicate, he could change his fate.
But behind the stone door was a Black Dragon.
In the legends, dragons were noble, powerful, but never merciful.
Dragons would not communicate with humans, disdained to communicate with humans. At least, they would disdain to communicate with an ordinary human like him.
For this, he had made not a single preparation.
For death, he had actually been preparing for several years, but now that death was truly on the horizon, he understood that he still had not prepared enough.
As it turned out, death was a matter impossible to prepare for.
A deathly stillness hung over the underground cavern. The light spilling from the Night Pearls was like the snow, falling upon his body.
He was somewhat cold and suddenly felt very tired. He knew that everything he did was futile, so he no longer struggled to stand up, even stopped caring about what was about to occur. He raised his head towards that mountain-like and terrifying dragon head, calm and at ease.
"It looks like Master spoke correctly: my fate really is bad."
He did not know whether this Black Dragon could understand human language, but he thought that even if such a noble being could understand, it would not disdain to listen. Thus, everything that he had never said to another person, he said to the Black Dragon.
"I have an illness that can't be cured.
"I can't live past the age of twenty.
"Master is the best doctor of the continent and my medical skills aren't bad, but the both of us can't cure it.
"This illness is more terminal than a terminal illness, so it is not an illness, but fate.
"My fate is not good.
"Upon coming to the capital, I wasted a lot of energy and was finally able to enter the Orthodox Academy, obtaining the right to participate in the Grand Examination. Although still very far from Lingyan Pavilion, in the end, I still took my first step. Then I met Luoluo, and I thought that my fate was getting better.
"I didn't think that tonight, I would meet you.
"My fate turned out to still not be good."
Chen Changsheng's face was somewhat pale. It was because of the frost and the cold, nothing to do with fear.
He was currently fearless, even when confronting the legendary cruel Black Dragon.
He no longer cared about whether the Black Dragon could understand him, whether it was willing to listen.
He only knew that he was going to die soon, so if he did not say these things, he would no longer have the opportunity.
"Everyone says that fate is foreordained, that no matter how disastrous, it still can't be changed, but I'm not willing to accept this."
Some sort of mysterious strength helped him stand up. He raised his head to the beautiful Night Pearls in the dome of the cavern and slightly squinted his eyes, just like some pitiable young beast gazing at the first light of the sun, brimming with yearning and joy.
"I want to live. I want live past the age of twenty, and then one hundred, and even five hundred, eight hundred, to live longer and longer, and the best would be to live forever and never die…but first, I have to live past the age of twenty, so I lived with utmost care.
"Every day, I would go to sleep early and wake up early. Every day, I would exercise my body. I've never been picky about my food, but I've never gorged on too much food or drink, and didn't take my food with salt or oil. It's not because of my personality, but because those types of foods aren't healthy. I lived according to the guidelines of the medical books, measuring out my meat and vegetables with a scale. I've never found any of this a trouble, and after the age of twelve, all this became instinct.
"I value time and put all my time in studying and cultivating. I wanted to do my utmost to touch upon those beautiful pieces of knowledge before the age of twenty, and I wanted even more to use cultivation to change my fate. This way, after the age of twenty, I would have the opportunity to see even more beautiful sights."
He said to the Black Dragon, "Yes, everything I did, all the rules I made for myself, were all for the sake of living. The most important part about living is living. For this, I'm willing to pay everything, to do my utmost to live."
At this scene of the cold underground cavern, the distant pitch-black darkness, the gradually fading light from the dome of the cavern, the Black Dragon before the youth, and those calm words containing boundless sorrow, any person would probably feel moved.
The Black Dragon continued to gaze at this youth with cold and cruel eyes. Perhaps it was because it couldn't understand human language, but it was probably more that it didn't care. An ant on a tree branch angrily and sorrowfully waving its forelimb would only be interesting, or laughable, in the eyes of the observing child.
Chen Changsheng already didn't care about the Black Dragon's response. He only wanted to talk in his life's final moments.
"To change fate is truly too difficult, and the life I lived in these past few years was truly too tiresome, but no matter how tiresome, I still want to live. Because the pork of Xining Village cut into thin pieces and then dipped in chili oil and rock salt is truly delicious, because there is truly a lot of interesting knowledge in books, because life is truly very beautiful.
"I don't want to die, but I can't guarantee that I can live past the age of twenty. To be more precise, I simply don't have the confidence. I don't want the girl who gifted me that bamboo dragonfly to become a widow, so I came to the capital, wanting to end the engagement, but the result?
"Everyone who's acquainted with me feels that I've matured early, that I'm not like a fourteen-year-old youth, everyone says that I'm steady and composed, but nobody has ever thought… I'm only five years away from death, I'm in the prime of my youth, yet I'm already half-buried in yellow earth—how could I not be calm and steady? But how can I accept this!?"
In these past few years, Chen Changsheng had focused on controlling his emotions because great sorrow and happiness were both bad for his body, but now it was all useless, so he was no longer calm. He gazed at the Black Dragon, perhaps the entire world, and angrily cried out.
"I don't want to die.
"But I'm going to die now.
"I'm very sad."
Chen Changsheng was very sorrowful, his eyes slightly red. He thought that he would cry, but he discovered that, after controlling his emotions through all these years and refusing to cry, he had even forgotten how to cry. This fact made him feel even more sorrowful, then he returned to an unimaginable level of calmness.
"Thank you for not eating me in one bite. Although this is probably not your true intent, since you still let me finish speaking, I want to thank you. But I really do want to live, so even if it's laughable, I still want you to permit me to fight a battle with you."
Saying this, he raised the dagger in his hand and bared it towards the Black Dragon.
He silently thought in his heart: Come, Death!
Let us have a final match.
Just like over these past years.
The Black Dragon slowly approached, cold gusts resounding through the vast space. Its body was excessively large, a slight movement sufficient to cause the light to change.
A nigh unimaginable cold descended over Chen Changsheng's body.
His eyelashes were once more covered in frost, and even the blood in his body seemed to freeze.
Death was right before him.
Yet he showed an unprecedented calm, was even very relaxed.
The shadow of death and that terrifying pressure that had followed him since the age of ten suddenly vanished.
He was at an unprecedented level of calm, comfort. His body felt much lighter. To have no pressure whatsoever was actually such a beautiful feeling.
He finally understood, how to defeat the fear brought upon by death? Only through death itself.
He smiled, the frost on his eyelashes spreading apart like blooming white flowers.
Teacher, do you see?
I'm going to change my own fate.
Teacher said that I would die at the age of twenty.
At the moment, I'm not fully fifteen, but I'm going to die.
As it turns out, fate is not impossible to defeat.