Chapter 711: 711
Adventure Plan
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The dinner had caused the ambiance of the night market to reach its climax . At last, with the Big Dipper and the Void Brew, Ye Cang and the others had the most filling meal they had ever had that year . To say that they are satisfied was just an understatement .
In the meantime, they were chit-chatting, talking about the changes that happened throughout the year, especially Flasher Uncle . He complained that the world had changed, people were no longer pure and innocent, and that they no longer fear the holy dragon at his crotch . As for Panty Uncle, he secretly told them that he was about to finish his second high-quality underwear, named Elegy of Muses . Upon hearing that, Wu Na, FrozenCloud and the others quickly sat closer to him, hoping he will fill them in on the underwear, including Little Ye Tian .
“On the third day of CNY, let’s go to the Imperial City for an adventure!” AV pulled Zhang Zhengxiong, Lil’Wang, SpyingBlade, and Fang Ci over .
“I’ll wait for all of you at the train station at 10 a . m . Be punctual and bring more money with you . The adventure fees are three times for CNY . Many hot girls will take advantage of it and look for part-time jobs . Last year, I played the clothes-removing game with a girl who is a second-line model . Believe it or not . I lost everything I had on me, even my underwear . I had to hop back from roofs to roofs in the middle of the night . ” Lil’Wang reminded them .
“So, you’re the naked man the news was humiliating on the fifth day of CNY last year?” SpyingBlade laughed .
“Alright, alright . That’s not the main point . So, that’s the deal . Let’s toast for the big adventure on the third day!” Zhang Zhengxiong turned around to see Fang Ci’s helpless face . “Oh come on, we’re going on an adventure . It’s a group outing . Don’t frown . Be happy . Don’t you worry Lil’Fang, I wouldn’t tell Lil’Tong that you wore a bra and acted like a girl for my photoshoot . The full-screen picture is still in my phone though . ”
“ . . . . . . ” Fang Ci was speechless .
“What do you mean adventure?” Lin Liang suddenly appeared and gave them a shock . Knowing Zhang Zhengxiong did not know how to address himself, Lin Liang said . “Call me Brother Liang . ”
“Old Brother Liang, have you been to a cafe where there are class female servants who can pretend to be your girlfriend?” AV suddenly acted like a master .
“Never been there before and never heard of it . ” Lin Liang shook his head .
“Then, let’s go on this adventure . It’s worthwhile to gain some knowledge in our lifetime . It’s fate that brings us together at the same dinner . 10 a . m . Remember to bring more money . We are going dutch and don’t let us wash the dishes!” Lin Liang nodded gradually and thought philosophically . Indeed . As time goes by, one’s passion will slowly fade away like the leaves falling off a tree . Such a person would not be contributable to the society . He or she would be left with only sorrow in his or her broken house . It would be too late to regret when that day comes . I’ve warned Zhan’Er[1] about this . “So, I thank you Brother Lil’Wang in advance . ”
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“Judging from your look, you’re a family man . ” Lil’Wang asked out of curiosity .
Lin Liang stunned for a second and nodded .
“No wonder . You’re a little weird but quite a gentleman . Your wife must be pretty, is she?” AV gossiped too .
Lin Liang did not know whether to laugh or cry . “In the eyes of society, she is far from being beautiful . ”
“Do you have a picture of her?” Zhang Zhengxiong got curious and it also sparked SpyingBlade’s and Fang Ci’s interests .
Lin Liang reached for a piece of paper in his pocket and it turned out to be a drawing of an ugly woman . They immediately grasped and stared at him unbelievably .
Lin Liang did not bother much and just smiled . He shook his head as he took out his feathered fan . “Having an ugly woman in the house is like having a treasure . You’re not able to understand the happiness lying within . ”
Upon finishing his sentence, Lil’Wang, Zhang Zhengxiong, and the others immediately sneezed and backed off a few steps, leaving a few meters in front of them .
“I originally thought that he’s just a little weird . But now, I can say that he’s bizzare . He even draws the picture himself . OMG, this is too much . I’m getting goosebumps . ” Lil’Wang mumbled .
“Most importantly, I think the person in the drawing only exists in his imagination . I can’t believe that he can even think of such a thing . Looks like he is sick…” Av nodded and shivered .
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“Having an ugly woman in the house is like having a treasure . Come to think of it . . . this sentence seems deep and requires some sense to understand the philosophy…” SpyingBlade’s words caused them to glare and stare at him with a weird and tired look . Immediately, he shut up . “ . . . . . . ”
“Originally, I thought we only have a slight generation gap . I can’t believe it’s this huge…” Zhang Zhengxiong examined Lin Liang with his arms crossed .
“What I’m afraid of is that his special behavior will get us blacklisted . ” Lil’Wang’s word made AV thought of something . “As an example, a girl who acts as an ugly old woman is playing games with him while dancing in the square . I think it is quite…”
“Are you insane or pervert?” Zhang Zhengxiong was speechless .
Lin Liang was standing there awkwardly . I really couldn’t communicate well with youngsters nowadays, can’t catch up to their pace . “Everyone, we’ll meet on the third day . ”
“Shh . . . lower your voice . Keep it to yourself . ” SpyingBlade reminded him . Even though Lin Liang did not have any clue why, he nodded and returned to his seat .
Just then, Flasher Uncle stood on the stage happily and took off his windbreaker . The Elephant Assault! A warm breeze engulfed the entire night market all of a sudden .
“Quickly, pray to it! Flasher Uncle is giving his blessings!”
“Oh, Holy Elephant, I hope that I can be gangraped by three to ten girls in this new year . Please . ”
“Oh, Father, I hope that my husband turns into Panty Uncle when I wake up . ”
“You shameless! How dare you peek at my wish! Take this!”
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“Oh, you think I’m afraid of you?! Have my kick!”
“Oh, Holy Elephant . Oh, Holy Elephant . I hope my mother will recover from her illness soon . ”
“I always lose during mahjong . Father Elephant, please give me the luck to get the thirteen orphans!”
“Chu Shi Biao is so hard to memorize because Zhuge Liang wrote it too long . Oh, Holy Elephant, please reduce it to 20 words or less . ”
Lin Liang heard the wish of a little child and he was shivering . Oh, so it’s my fault?! He swung his feathered fan .
“Hey?! Why do I know all the words already? I could even recite it backwards! Can’t forget it . It’s so disgusting! If I know my wish will come true, I shouldn’t have wished for this . Damn it . ” The child was happy in the first place but got disgusted in the end, he kneeled down and shouted . “Flasher Uncle is amazing!”
Lin Liang was pissed . Calm down . . . Calm down . . . He flapped his feathered fan .
“Lil’Tong, come on stage . Let me give you a Chinese New Year blessing!” These words immediately made Lil’Tong rush up to touch the Holy Elephant . She looked so loved . “I hope everyone can have a wonderful year ahead, be happy every day, under the blessing of the elephant…”
*Boom!*
Huge fireworks were shooting up into the sky . As they bloomed, it decorated the night sky with colorful and shiny lights .
“It’s the saintess! The saintess!”
“It’s the saintess! The saintess!”
“The saintess from our Holy Elephant Religion has born! Everyone, quickly, make a second wish!’
With much sorrow, Fang Ci looked at his sister and then at the fireworks in the sky . “Am I the only one who thinks that this city is weird?”
“Be glad . ” SpyingBlade was staring at the elephant assault fireworks .
“That’s because you don’t have a sister . ” Fang Ci’s words made SpyingBlade sigh . “You don’t have a wife either . ”
The two of them stared at each other in agreement and sighed .
Meanwhile, AV, Lil’Wang, and Zhang Zhengxiong were gossiping behind their backs .
“I think they are about to kiss . Do we need to inform Sister Qian?” Lil’Wang said .
“Shhh, we’ll take a pic when they really kiss . Don’t bother them for now . ” Zhang Zhengxiong replied .
“Why do people wanna be gay? I think they had secretly stared at my hole before…” AV swung his hand .
Both of them turned around and shouted .
“Get the f*ck off!”
“Shut the f*ck up!”