I am the villainess Marikana. I became aware of it when I regained memories of my previous life during a nightmare.
However, I can't help but have the character who condemned me, Prince Calcilast, on my mind. Why is it? Because he's handsome? I wonder if it's because our personalities are on the same wavelength.
Today I'm eating together with Calcilast-sama in the castle, he said "There's Naporitan sauce on your mouth" and wiped it with a brand-new handkerchief he took out of his pocket.
Feeling embarrassed, I looked downwards and muttered "Thank you"
Calcilast-sama put a hand on my shoulder and drew me closer while stroking my head, and said "Marikana… Please stay by my side. You are an unbearably important existence to me"
I'm sweating so much it's dripping down my face. What would he do if he noticed… He might come to hate me.
But without minding it, he told me "Let's go to the balcony. The scenery is excellent"
This is mostly an edited machine translation. If you notice any, even slight, mistakes, want to help or have any suggestions, by all means please let me know.
We got up from our chairs and moved to enjoy the night wind. Nervously, I walked alongside him. I stared blankly at the hand suddenly presented to me.
Calcilast-sama asked with a smile perfect like a doll's "Let's hold hands so we won't get separated. I want to touch you even if a little. Is it hopeless?"
When I replied "Not at all… with pleasure!" to the handsome man, Calcilast-sama said "I'm glad" and we joined hands. Besides his hand being large, I felt his strong will in it.
My white dress is fluttering while I'm following him. Calcilast-sama is gently leading me. I wonder if he likes me? Or is there some other reason?
Passing by the Royal Family and servants, we arrived at the balcony. The night view seen from here is wonderful. It's as if glittering jewels are scattered across the night sky.
Calcilast-sama, still holding my hand, brought me closer and spoke "The scenery seen from the castle is wonderful, isn't it? For me, Marikana is above it"
I'm startled. A wave of happiness washed over my heart. It's an indescribable emotion. I feel content… With how lovely Calcilast-sama is to me, he might not condemn me. That's why, I want to stay beside him for a long time a little. That's how I feel.
Calcilast-sama asked "How was today's party", when I heard that I replied "I was happy to be at Calcilast-sama's side. I wish it would last forever… That's how I feel…".
When I said that, Calcilast-sama gently embraced me. His unexpectedly muscular body surprised me. I felt safe in his arms. I wish time would stop like this…
I wonder whether this feeling is love. I looked at Calcilast-sama with miserable expression.
I wonder what I am to Calcilast-sama. Is he just acting like this because I'm his fiancée? Is it just a whim? Inside me anxiety swells.
Then Calcilast-sama separated from me, pointed at the sky and said "Marikana. It's a shooting star." I'm worried about my palms sweating. Because, it might make him dislike me…
Calcilast-sama said "Let's make a wish. I have already decided, but…". His almond-shaped eyes are looking at the night sky.
Rather than looking at the night sky, I wish he would look at me. I'm anxious you're looking at something else. I wish I wasn't a mob character with no worth for Calcilast-sama.
It's as if a needle pierced my chest. Calcilast-sama was startled to see me like this. Then he threw these words.
"Marikana, why are you crying!? Ah, don't cry my beloved Marikana… When you cry my heart is about to burst. My precious, precious treasure…"
After hugging me more tightly, he separated a bit, being told "Marikana, close your eyes…" a sweet breath tickled my forehead and something soft touched the corner of my eye. It seems it stopped my tears.
I secretly opened my eyes, touching them were soft, jelly-like Calcilast-sama's lips.
I hurriedly closed my eyes to avoid being exposed. Calcilast-sama cherishes me, right? He wouldn't do that to just anyone, right?
Calcilast-sama said "Open your eyes, Marikana. And show me your angelic smile"
I nervously opened my eyes. Just like a child being punished.
Calcilast-sama showed me a perfect smile. His handsome face would make any woman fascinated. It's unrivaled.
I stared at Calcilast-sama fixedly. I thought he might kiss me again… But was that a kiss? Is it a thing he'd do to anyone? My heart was surging like stormy seas.
I stared at Calcilast-sama’s eyes without paying attention to the night sky. His light blue eyes are like an ocean gently enveloping everything… I'm in daze.
I summoned the courage to open my mouth. The tension made me talk hastily. Calcilast-sama is looking at me with an earnest face.
"Have you ever fallen in love, Calcilast-sama? Your beloved person is…"
I would like to hear my name… I might be unable to endure if another person's name comes out. The back of my nose was prickly and my mouth dry.
Calcilast-sama asked in return. Unexpectedly. My eyes opened wide in surprise.
"Marikana, how about you? There's one woman I love. I believe she's my fated partner…"
I want to know who that partner is. For some reason he didn't say it, so it can't be me… I feel hollow… I feel heavy, my knees gave up and I fell onto the concrete.
In a hurry Calcilast-sama crouched down and put his hands on my shoulders. Then he asked. The face is pale… But, you have someone you love… And it's not me…
"A, are you alright, Marikana? My Marikana?"
It's shameless to insincerely say my Marikana as if nothing happened.
I feel Calcilast-sama who hides his true feelings is despicable. Does he speak so skillfully to the girls who surround him?
No, he's not that cruel. He's a gentleman. That's what my heart says. That's right, looking back he's never displayed such behavior, I've never heard any strange rumors either…
Then, when I raised my sight from the ground to Calcilast-sama, I saw his anxious face.
I don't know what he's thinking about, but while still crouching, he turned his back to me and said, with his expression impossible to see from here.
"Please let me carry you on my back. Now, quickly…"
I'm surprised a prince of the whole country would do such a thing. Is it a performance? In my heart I was doubtful, but I quietly climbed on his back. His back was wider than I expected. Then he said.
"I will take you to a guest room immediately. I'll arrange an excellent doctor at once! Moreover, don't get on backs of men other than me. Marikana. I'll punish any men who'll do such a thing!"
I wonder if I am loved. Or is it just my misunderstanding? The Royal Family was taken aback by me going back to a room on the prince's back.
The guests were also gazing at us in wonderment. I informed them I was feeling unwell, left the hall and we proceeded down the hallway. Evenly spaced lights created shadows of us two.
I asked him. I thought I couldn't inconvenience him anymore. Emerald, deep-pile carpet stretched endlessly.
"Calcilast-sama, I would feel ashamed of troubling you any more. Let me down…"
Calcilast-sama spoke as if to cover what I said. His breathing is rough. Because of me…
"You are my treasure. Even if I cannot protect you… or save you… I'll devote my whole life to you. That's my conviction"
I replied "I'm sorry, but, I'm happy. For my sake… to declare so…" and seemed to cry a little, perhaps noticing it, Calcilast-sama said "Please don't cry, my beloved Marikana…"
His kind words and back warmed my heart. As if it was overflowing with happiness.
I silently wiped my tears with a sleeve of my dress. It got wet a little. But my expression became cheerful. I squeezed him from behind.
The prince was shocked and went "Wawawa" flustered, then coughed and said.
"Marikana, please once again. From a moment ago…"
Hearing this, I felt like being mean. After all, I am a villainess.
"From a moment ago? I don't understand well"
He stopped walking, inhaled deeply and covertly said.
"! … Um… That… I wish you'd squeeze me…"
I kept going with bullying Calcilast-sama who's cute like a dog. Kukuku.
"Your voice was too quiet to hear it. Please speak a little louder"
I'm swaying a little on Calcilast-sama, like on a swing. He seems to be quite agitated. Have I overdone it? I'm sorry.
"T, that hug… please give me a hug! Is that okay? Marikana?"
I said "Yes!" and squeezed him. I embraced him tightly. Calcilast-sama stopped walking and let out "Ha, hawawa!", a strangely funny yet lovely reaction.
After that, we proceeded towards the guest room. It must be my imagination that we're taking a roundabout route… There's no reason to, right. I'm sure it's my imagination.
I'm gazing at Calcilast-sama's golden hair that's like gold coins or gold ingots. I wonder why it's so beautiful… It's more lustrous than women's hair. I'm jealous…
I asked Calcilast-sama who was still carrying me. I considered it was so gorgeous he could refuse me.
"Calcilast-sama… Could I touch your hair? It's so beautiful…"
For some reason he got startled. Then he said these words. No way, will the punchline be it's a wig? I can only see it as his natural hair. It seems he's thinking.
"I do not mind, but please do it gently… I'm nervous…"
I gently lifted hair on the back of Calcilast-sama's head with one hand. It's silky. It's like high class threads. For some reason Calcilast-sama let out a weak "Hauu…"
He might be weak against his hair being touched. I found a surprising weak point. I gently stroked his blond hair. Calcilast-sama continued with "Auu…". I wonder if I've overdone it…
I spoke to Calcilast-sama as he was walking down a high-class carpet that's possibly foreign-made. My eyes are still enraptured by his blond hair.
"Am I not heavy? I'm worried that I'm a bother… Is everything alright?"
Then, Calcilast-sama turned his head and spoke to me. The tone of his voice was somewhat familiar.
"That won't do. As far as I can see, I need no rest… That's how I feel"
Does Calcilast-sama has such a thorough knowledge of medicine? Is he at the level where he can understand just by looking…? I wonder if there's perhaps another reason. He spoke.
"Marika isn't heavy at all! You're light as a feather. Please don't worry. It's a little chilly today. Could you cling closer to me? Like that, we'll warm each other… I have no ulterior motives… It's true!"
I could not understand where his idea came from, but I stuck closely to him. Warm. It feels like taking a bath. I wonder if that's an exaggeration.
I feel he likes it very much when I rub my face against his large back. I wonder if he's exercising to be so muscular. I love such Calcilast-sama.
I want to stay beside him even if a little longer… I want to touch him even if a little longer… It's the most important encounter of my life. I'll treasure this incident.
Would he mourn me if I died? Still, there's still some time left to ride Calcilast-sama like a bicycle.
I feel this will be an irreplaceable memory when I grow older… A precious memory of only the two of us…
I continued the conversation with Calcilast-sama, who was advancing step by step on the luxurious carpet. It looks as if the stars we can see outside the window are blessing us. They seem to be smiling…
"Calcilast-sama, have you carried people on your back before? You seem used to it… Such as other ladies…"
At my distrustful question, Calcilast-sama's ear twitched. After all it's like that. I guess there is a woman more important than me… Liar…
For some reason, Calcilast-sama kept laughing 'fufufu'. It's like he's laughing reminiscing something. What kind of memory is it?
"Marikana, have you completely forgotten? That memory… I'm sad…"
My brain ran at the full speed. As if stepping on the accelerator with no brakes. But I can't remember. My mouth opened, then closed… Calcilast-sama hasn't said anything else about it.
Something prickled my dry nose. I felt flowery fragrance from somewhere. Where does this scent waft from? I separated from Calcilast-sama slightly and looked around.
At that moment Calcilast-sama said in panic "Marikana, please don't separate! It's sad, or how should I put it… It's cold!". I thought of finishing looking as soon as possible. But I couldn't find any vases filled with flowers. Is it an incense?
I sniffed to the right, then left and finally in front of me. Then I noticed the smell was coming from the direction of Calcilast-sama in front of me. I clung to Calcilast-sama closely and smelled him. Ah, what a pleasant smell. The source of scent was Calcilast-sama after all.
I said. While filling my lungs with Calcilast-sama's pleasant smell.
"Calcilast-sama, the perfume you wear. I love its scent. It's very pleasant…"
Calcilast said "I'm embarrassed to be sniffed… but I'm happy…" and continued. I felt his cheeks were red.
"I'm not wearing any. Isn't it your imagination?"
I shook my head and said "No, you smell like flowers without a doubt!" Calcilast-sama asked "Does Marikana like my scent?" to which I replied "Yes!" Calcilast-sama seemed delighted, and with heightened tension said "I'm happy! Thank you"
We're enjoying spending the time with just the two of us. From time to time I catch sight of servants in maid clothes bowing. They certainly are considerate.
I wonder if my legs won't grow weaker from being carried by Calcilast-sama. Like an astronaut… Ufufu. This laughter is a symbol of my happiness. I'm glued to my beloved.
I also am important to my Calcilast-sama… He's not all talk… I'm sure he truly loves me. I believe so. I embraced him tightly. Calcilast-sama, who noticed the change in my power, asked me. Quite anxiously… I'm loved… Probably, certainly.
"What's wrong? Are you sleepy? Or is there some other problem?"
I replied with only "You are my beloved…". Then, he gasped, and afterwards said.
"I love Marikana as well. I would be happy if you believed me…"
I'm doubtful. Such a handsome prince loving me…
I'm immersed in the lingering happiness. If it's now, I could face any hardships or challenges. Such things felt insignificant.
Confessing my words of love to Calcilast-sama gave me such power…
Love certainly brings forth the highest power… I feel like that. Ah, happiness… I could die now… That's a lie. I would like to spend as long as possible with the man whose blond hair is swaying in front of me.
I want to hear his voice very much, so I addressed him. Into his ear.
"Calcilast-sama…"
He replied "What's the matter? Is something wrong?". After laughing "ufufu", I said these words to him.
"I'm sorry. I just wanted to hear your voice… I unconsciously called out to you…"
Calcilast-sama stumbled a little. I'm amazed that the perfect him would do that. Moreover, there aren't any steps on the deep-pile carpet.
"If you wish to hear my voice, I will let you hear it as much as you want. My beloved Marikana… Marikana…" he got out these words.
Calcilast-sama's voice that called out to me sounded like a gospel. It felt like angels were playing trumpets to bless me… I fully enjoyed it.
If Calcilast-sama weren't in my life, would it have been an empty life… God tied me with Calcilast-sama with a thread of fate. It's a wire that cannot be cut with scissors…
I felt like the temperature of my adored Calcilast-sama increased. Is it because he's been carrying me all this time? Or maybe it's the expression of tension from being like this with me? Or, he's aroused… Kya, how immodest of me.
Did I have a vulgar thought about Calcilast-sama? Even if a little.
Riding Calcilast-sama like a horse, I was stopped in front of a room. But right after he started walking again. I asked suspiciously.
"Whose room was that before? I'm a little anxious…"
Then he answered "It's just my room. I considered bringing Marikana there, but I suppressed it with my reason…"
I want to know why he suppressed it, but I held back out of consideration that he might not want that to be known.
It seems like I'm on a miraculous date. I could name it a piggyback date. There aren't many who could enjoy such a date. Perhaps, we are the first.
I felt like I was snuggly inside the futon of Calcilast-sama's temperature.
I wish this moment would last forever… That would surely… But, even children understand something like that is impossible. Because there's no story in life that doesn't end.
It can't be helped, right… It's sad and painful, but… Calcilast-sama's kindness wraps around me. Uh, I'm getting sleepy, I'm dozing off.
I called out to Calcilast-sama, who gives off a sense of security like an amniotic fluid, to avert falling to sleep.
"Aren't you slowly getting tired? Carrying me on your back… Can you let me down, no… That's not right, could you lower me?"
Then Calcilast-sama asked "I want to be close with my beloved as much as possible… Marikana, is it a bother?" in a crying voice. His handsome face in front of me seems distorted…
I felt happy and said "If Calcilast-sama wishes so, with pleasure!"
Our secret date continues. I wonder if Calcilast-sama won't let me down until death separates us.
Like this, the whole life… Such a thing would be delightful… Sorrowful… It's a complicated feeling.
I can say with confidence that I'm happy we can touch each other with this piggyback ride, however how long will it continue… I suggested to Calcilast-sama.
"Since there's no problem anymore, why don't we walk together? We could link arms… How about it?"
Calcilast-sama stopped walking and spoke. It's a nervous, earnest voice. As if he's afraid of something…
"Please only for tonight. I want to touch Marikana… Pardon me if it's unpleasant… Please… If possible…"
It's weird he wants to touch me. I wonder what makes me so charming for him? If I had a mirror I'd stare at myself.
I do think I belong to the category of beautiful women, but I can't say I'm a beauty to die for… But Calcilast-sama accepts me. I enquired him. With an awkward face.
"Am I beautiful? Can I really believe that…"
Calcilast-sama's answer made me ecstatic. So much that I…
I'm wrapped in happiness. Why am I so, I wonder? It's like the capture target Calcilast-sama is my lover… It's fine to say lover, right?
We can stay together peacefully like this… I wonder if it's a gift from God. I would like to receive more gifts from the heavens. If I can stay with Calcilast-sama…
Calcilast-sama said "I've been lucky to spend a long time with Marikana today." His blond hair smoothly shook in front of me. How beautiful it is. He seems like a French doll God went to great pains to create.
I declared in my mind we don't go well together. Someone like me… Undoubtedly, we'll break up.
We can't stay together forever… He'll be snatched away by the protagonist of the otome game… That's the rule, isn't it?
Calcilast-sama is the intelligent, cheerful, handsome prince who has everything… I feel ashamed for harboring such thoughts. I muttered. Secretly…
"We are a bad match… It's hopeless…"
Calcilast-sama asked "Marikana, what's wrong? Did you say something?" to which I replied "N, no!"
I felt unusually down. It felt like the reality we aren't a good match crushed me like a machine press.
It's frustrating such a timid thought came to my mind. Certainly, I don't have many weapons. On the contrary, it's as if Calcilast-sama is equipped with the strongest sword, shield, armor, and helmet.
I'll interest myself in various things and put my utmost effort to be someone who can stand at Calcilast-sama's side!
Now that I decided to do my best, let's think about what methods to use. I'm no good right now. I must polish myself more.
If Calcilast-sama is like a diamond, I'm like a pig… I can't allow this. I want to become the same gem at least. I said to Calcilast-sama.
"Calcilast-sama, please wait for me. Becoming a first-rate woman might be impossible, but until I become a second-rate woman…"
My statement made him puzzledly tilt his head and asked a question "Marikana is a first-class woman, what happened, my beloved?"
His remark overflowing with kindness startled me and made me flush. He's a good person.
I feel like Calcilast-sama's speed has been slowly decreasing. I'm not sure how long he's been carrying me. It can't be helped.
I said while stroking Calcilast-sama's superb hair. Gently, gently.
"You're getting tired, right? Don't push yourself… I'm worried, won't you suffer from muscle pains tomorrow?"
Calcilast-sama glanced at me and asked "No, I will accompany you all the way there. You are staying the night, aren't you?"
I forgot, but that's right. I talked with father to let me retire for the night in the guest room. Being able to meet Calcilast-sama again tomorrow is as if Christmas and the New Year happened together.
Even with lower speed, Calcilast-sama displayed his manliness. He's doing his best. How reliable. On the wall to the left was a painting of a handsome man in a stylish attire kneeling before a woman, kissing the back of her hand.
Cool. But not as much as Calcilast-sama. For me, Calcilast-sama looks like the world's most handsome man. Actually, it's possible he is.
The evening considerably advanced, but I don't think the party has ended yet. Everyone had been drinking wine gracefully.
I asked Calcilast-sama partially out of curiosity. I was getting nervous.
"Has Calcilast-sama drunk alcohol? I haven't…"
Then he happily said "I have drunk only a little. Next time I want to drink with Marikana…" I love you…
Calcilast-sama who's gradually began wobbling is moving his feet over the emerald deep-pile carpet with his guts. He's advancing step by step. I encouraged him "Please keep at it! I am cheering for you!"
This is also a chance to show off his manliness. There's no way he could yield. Sweat is dripping on his cheeks. I took a red handkerchief with a floral pattern the color of blood from my pocket and wiped it.
He said "Thank you, we have almost arrived…" but didn't continue. I felt he had something more to say… Pitiful Calcilast-sama…
After passing through several doors we stopped. Calcilast-sama said "We have arrived. My beloved… Haa haa… My Marikana…" and dropped to his knees.
I slowly put my feet on the floor but having become a little numb I displayed uncertain gait. I'm pathetic if I say so myself.
With him having stood up, I flopped onto Calcilast-sama's chest. He felt astonished, yet he happily embraces me closely. He's warm and smells good. Calcilast-sama said "Marikana, I love you" and kissed my forehead. I felt there was a curious heat in it.
Then we separated. I wanted to stay with him longer…
I'm watching the back of Calcilast-sama as he's walking away. Gradually it's becoming smaller. Even though it shouldn't, it feels like we'll be separated for the eternity. As expect, I'm sad… Should I chase after him… And then have him stay just a little longer… By my side…
Then, Calcilast-sama stopped walking, turned around and headed towards me. My heart began dancing from enthusiasm.
I'm glad like a monkey that found a mountain of bananas. Looking from the front, he has a well-ordered appearance, almond-shaped eyes, thin eyebrows, full lips, long nose, and is overall handsome.
When he looked here I felt my heart thump so hard as if an earthquake struck. Ah, my beloved Calcilast-sama…
He stopped in front of me, looking at me from above, but then leaned forward and said.
"I carelessly forgot about the good night and farewell kisses. I forgot due to fatigue. Sorry…"
He hugged me and said "Good night, my Marikana…", hesitated to kiss my mouth, then his tender as a pudding lips touched my cheek. The pounding of my heart isn't stopping.
I turned the door knob and entered the guest room. It's quite spacious. Six or seven people could play board games here.
I examined my surroundings. A neat snow-white bed, expensive tawny chair and desk, a flat-screen TV on a TV stand, various bookshelves, there's even a dresser.
I changed into a pajama with pink frills that's been prepared for me. No matter how you look, these clothes are brand new. It's truly a place where royalty lives.
I turned on the TV with a remote control, but I couldn't find anything important, so I only watched the news and turned it off.
I thought back on my day with Calcilast-sama. It was a wonderful day. Our relationship should have deepened… That's what I want to believe. The destructive power of his smile would charm not just me, but any woman. It's that terrific.
Although I sat down on bed, I was still too excited to go to sleep, so I went towards the bookcase. I pulled out a famous collection of short stories and decided to read it until I fall asleep.
I lied on the bed and started reading it. If my mother discovered that scene, I'd be yelled at for lacking manners. Little by little my eyelids are getting heavier.
It felt like weights were hanging from them. I managed to turn off the light and went to sleep…
TL: With how short the chapters are, I think of releasing them in batches whenever I feel there’s a good stopping point. But how do you all feel about it?