"My son," replied the mistress pridefully. "Oh, he has gone back to Yale. He could only get away long enough to stay until New Year's day, you see. I miss him dreadfully, tho."
"Yas, I knowing yoost how you feel. My broder, he ban in yail sax times since Tanksgiving."
YONKERS
An American took an Englishman to a theater. An actor in the farce, about to die, exclaimed: "Please, dear wife, don't bury me in Yonkers!"
The Englishman turned to his friend and said: "I say, old chap, what _are_ yonkers?"
"YOU"
Here's to the world, the merry old world, To its days both bright and blue; Here's to our future, be it what it may, And here's to my best--that's you!
ZONES
TEACHER--"How many zones has the earth?"
PUPIL--"Five."
TEACHER--"Correct. Name them."
PUPIL--"Temperate zone, intemperate, canal, horrid, and o."--_Life_.