April 19th, Saturday. In the house of Feng Bujue.
Three good friends: Little Tan, Master Bao and Feng Bujue were sitting side by side on the sofa in the living room, looking at the TV screen in front of them. The coffee table in front of them was filled with takeout items, apparently, these stuffs were bought by Feng Bujue’s payment of written and joining TV show.
Feng Bujue already synced a file on the computer’s hard drive to the TV, which can be viewed by clicking on it. The contents of this file are the “I’m the writer” TV Show Feng Bujue recorded a week ago.
“The show will be on the channel next Friday, and this……Is just a preliminary, one-hour video that should be cut to 45 minutes by the time it’s played. Feng Bujue got the remote controller. Before he pushes the button, he asked, “Are you sure you want to see this… “
“Cut the crap.” Master Bao said: “Hurriedly, my honey's waiting for me to come home to have dinner.”
Similar, there's no need to mention the excited Little Tan, “Let’s go! It’s the first time I’ve seen an acquaintance appear on a show on TV!”
“Ah… All right.” Feng Bujue pressed the play button.
The television screen began to appear lots of mess scenes.
However, this phenomenon only appeared for one or two seconds before it was stopped. It should be a problem with the document. After all, this was not the official broadcast tape of the TV station, so it was normal to have some flaws in the editing.
The scene came out, and the camera was pulled down from the top to the center of the stage.
These days, the lighting engineer for every big TV show are always people who are crazy about light using. If they used too less light, they could be embarrassed to go out to greet the peers, so this show was the same. The lights on the stage flickered at high speeds, and the camera began to wobble with the rhythm.
The competitor’s area, though, was totally dark. Seven players sit side by side and apart from each other more than one meter with several controllers in front of them. The lights shone at an odd angle, allowing viewers to see the seven figures clearly but not their faces.
As music rang out, the host stepped onto the stage, who's looking more proper than some fat man who had a Gangnam dance during the question-and-answer session. He arrived at the center of the field in a casual suit with headphones on. As he stood, his arms spread wide, the lights stopped flashing and focused on him, and the host bowed slightly, saying, “Welcome to 'I’m the writer'. I’m the host Oscar.”
Two seconds later, the lights lit up the stage and the auditorium, but the area of writers was still covered with blackness, just like in a horror film.
Oscar is obviously a stage name. But in modern life, any funny name is acceptable to audiences, as long as you don’t get someone called Jin Fugui to host it……
“Well, everyone, I think you all can’t wait…”Oscar turned to the areas where writers stood and raised his arms.” Six of the seven contestants today have been seen in the last show, and I’m sure a lot of the audience can recognize them from their shadow. “
“Aye? Why did this guy say ‘you all can’t wait’ as his second line?” Asked Little Tan in front of the television.
“Because in the official version, Oscar says this before he reads a long list of sponsors.” Feng Bujue said, “In the variety shows recorded now, these contents are generally recorded separately because they need to be read clearly and control the time, which may take NG several times.” He paused, then added: “After each spot, you have to insert a sponsored slogan that is as long as a crosstalk. These were not recorded in live, they were recorded separately after the proper show.”
“It's like this… It’s not easy being a host.” Signed Wang Tanzhi
“Hey,” Master Bao reminded, “He's going to introduce the contestants, quiet.”
On the TV, the lights of the first contestant’s area were lit up. He was a bespectacled young man around 30 years old. He's a bit overweight with casually dressed.
Oscar took the inscription card out of his suit pocket and introduced the contestant, for sure, which were the pseudonyms. "No.1 contestant, the Mysterious Skywalker. A well-known web writer who had written 10 webnovels with over 2 million words. His works are extremely popular and have been adapted into games, movies, TV series, etc.… One of the few writers who make more than $10 million a year. Chief editor’s comment — the writing is fluent, the character is diversified, the plot is wonderful. He's the first person of fantasy novel writer right now.” 1)
The host paused for a few seconds, and the audience was already applauding without director's reminder.
Then the area of the second contestant was illuminated, and it was also a young man. He was a few years older than the Mysterious Skywalker with medium height. Also, he had glasses and clothes that were more aged.
“Number two, Eight Parcloses. A well-known online writer, 33 years old, had written five long histories novels. The chief editor’s comment — The knowledge reserving is substantial, the style is magnificent, the work is profound. Could be called… Writing all the extraordinary events in history, comments all the characters objectively."
Eight Parcloses won the same applause and cheers came from the audience.
Oscar then went on: “Number three, Vegetables and Fruit. Well-known network writer, multiple holders of records on novel writing. He began to write at the age of 18, which were citizen fantasy mostly. Over the course of a decade, he published more than 27 million words, and he never uploading new chapters for even one day. He always occupies topping sales of handheld reading websites. Chief editor’s comment — Plain and smooth writing, good at grasping the rhythm and tension of the plot. The king of wireless! A diligent genius.”
Vegetables was a 28 handsome man. Thus, he had the most audience and fans. From his appearance, the cheers of the audience began to ring.
“Contestant number four, our only female contestant, Ink Incensing. Girls’ ages…… It’s a secret.” Here, Oscar grinned at the camera, and there was laughter from the audience.
Ink Incensing combed ponytail and looked quiet with lean body. Although she's not really a beauty, she looks pretty well after using makeup.
“She started writing five years ago. She wrote six books, covering six topics including Spirituality, Xianxia, City, Romance, Games and History." Oscar continued, “The editor’s comment — Well written with a varied style, and well-deserved reputation as a talented woman.”
The crowd applauded again, and even though her fans were not numerous compare previous ones, she was seen by many unscrupulous men in the audience as their second favourite.
Another arena was lit up, and number five was a man around 30 with a classic black people's mopping hair with indoors sunglasses. He looked sturdy.
“Contestant number five, Let Me Up. He is a well-known sports magazine editor and author of 13 short stories with competitive themes. His rigorous setting and rich professional knowledge are highly appreciated by sports fans." Oscar said: “Editor’s comments – well-written authors with thoughtful works. There is no dispute that it is superior in the same genre.”
After the applause, contestant no. 6 showed his true look. He was quite similar to the Skywalker, from his image to his dress sense.
“Contestant number six, Soda. Famous network writer good at ghost stories. He had written seven long classics books and built his reputation mansion. Known as the contemporary master of terror." Oscar said: “The editor’s comment - each story evokes the deepest fears of the reader, and the plot is finely crafted. Master of terror without any doubt.
“Oh, oh! Are you coming?" Seeing here, Little Tan was quite excited, because Jue-Ge is going to appear.
Suddenly, the camera zoomed in and gave Oscar a close-up. "Ladies and Gentlemen, the number seven writer is a newbie. This stage is brutal, someone will be eliminated all the time and new writer's elimination rate was 50% in this quarter… “He played up a tense atmosphere that raised expectations of the newbie's identity:” After all, could he succeed in staying on this stage? Or, like a meteor across the sky, fleeting? Let’s wait and see……”
There was a drumbeat, spotlights were flying everywhere. In the end, the whole place was in darkness. The drumbeat stopped suddenly, and the light just stopped on Feng Bujue's body.
Though Feng Bujue was just looking at the camera with his dead fish eyes, there were cheers and applause from the audience.
“The audience and our contestants entered the studio at the same time, so I was already seen.” Feng Bujue explained with dispirited tone. “Their reactions like seeing the appearance of a monster were arranged by the director. In fact, even if no one knew me, it wouldn’t affect the condition at that time.”
Master Bao said: “Come to listen to his introduction to you.”
In the TV, Oscar waited for the audience’s reaction to come to an end and started saying, “Wow, contestant number seven looks so young.” Although he had been chatting to Jue-Ge before the recording, he had to pretend to have seen him for the first time: “I think some of the audience recognized him, some of them may have seen his work, but not the people. So… Who is he?
The suspense had been strained long enough, and it was time for an answer. Oscar took out his hand card and read: “Contestant number seven, Bu Jue. A famous detective novelist who has published a dozen detective novels in the network, magazine and newspaper. His style is witty and unique. The plot, however long it is, is contrarian and unexpected." Oscar put down the card: “Bu Jue, you’re the one recommended by the three behind-the-scenes editors of our show, all of them your fans.”
“Well…… “Answered Feng Bujue perfunctory.
Oscar continued: “The editor’s comment — if it’s good enough but can't be famous, at least there's no second me.”
“Ha… “The corner of Feng Bujue's mouth twitched.
Oscar quickly added, “As the tradition with our show: In each episode, we ask new people to give the show a title.” He walked to the controlling table of Feng Bujue, “Bu Jue, you have three minutes to consider, let us insert a section of advertising.”
“What did you give? “Asked Little Tan in front of the television.
Feng Bujue just pointed to the screen. Because this version of the tape is not advertised at all, and the following words of Oscar are recorded separately. So, after a simple screen jump, Feng Bujue's face got back.
Oscar stood beside him and stared at the words he had written on the operating table. Then his expression changed slightly, and he squinted invisibly Feng Bujue with a strange look in his eyes.
“Well, let’s see, what Bu Jue got for us……”After all, Oscar is a professional host, and he has to keep his composure on the surface no matter how outrageous Feng Bujue's writing is.
As the host raised his hand, the five words Feng Bujue wrote appeared on the big screen - Please roast as you wish.
1) The writers in the chapter had complex Chinese name, so I replaced them with "normal" English names that reader could understand.