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Today is the ‘full moon’ birthday of my baby blog so I am posting Part 3 as a thank you gift for your support:) Part 3 of the specials will focus more on Lian Song, a favourite with Mei, hamster & me:P He is the male lead in 3L3W Book 3 – Bu Shen Lian (Lotus). He likes Cheng Yu who tells the little dough all the naughty things he shouldn’t know. Dong Hua and him are best buddies. Bu Shen Lian has been posted online up to chapter 3 only and Tang Qi will resume writing it in Sept. Thus we’ll only get to read it in 2014:( Sorry Lidge, no little dough here but he’ll make a comeback in Part 4:). FYI, some of the specials are not written by Tang Qi but her talented fans. Anyway, they are all witty & funny so enjoy them !
One
On a particular day, Feng Jiu complains to Dijun.
Feng Jiu: “Dijun, you don’t love me!”
Dijun (helpless): “How come you say I don’t love you?”
Feng Jiu: “No matter how busy, uncle will always get ready three meals daily for aunt but you never cook for me.”
Dijun: “Be good, I will cook sweet and sour fish for you.”
Feng Jiu (in tears): “Dijun, you don’t love me … …”
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Dong Hua: “Xiao Bai, I will cook sweet and sour fish for you today!”
Feng Jiu: (a look of dismay) “What did I do to piss you off!?”
Dong Hua: “No, I cannot cook for you ar?”
Feng Jiu: (pleading eyes) “Dijun. . .”
Dong Hua: “Xiao Bai, are you very happy?”
Feng Jiu:” . . Dong Hua ~”
Dong Hua: “You are really looking forward to this!”
Feng Jiu: ” . . Ahem. . . Hubby ~”
Dong Hua: “Ok, another day! You go and cook!”
Feng Jiu: “. . . . .”
Two
Today is the birthday of Dong Hua Dijun. For the very first time, Feng Jiu goes and looks for Dong Hua: “What do you want to eat? Today, I will cook anything you want.”
Dong Hua: “Then I chose to eat you.”
Feng Jiu: “……”
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One day, Dijun and Feng Jiu are having tea.
Feng Jiu: “I had a bet with Xiao Yan warrior yesterday and I lost.”
Dijun (raises his eyebrows): “Oh? Bet?”
Feng Jiu: “I have to supply his meals for a month.” Dijun frowns. Feng Jiu continues: “The sweet and sour fish you cook.”
Dijun: “……”
Three
At Tai Chen Palace
Feng Jiu (finished cooking): “Dijun, taste delicious or not?”
Dong Hua (with Buddhist scriptures on one hand & bamboo chopsticks on the other hand): “Well?”
Feng Jiu: “Dijun, the dishes I cooked, taste delicious or not?”
Dong Hua: “Hmm?”
Feng Jiu (waiting): “Dong Hua, taste delicious or not?”
Dong Hua (looks up): “Well, too much salt, very salty.”
Feng Jiu: “…….”
The second day, Dijun is threatened by Feng Jiu to go and cook.
Dijun (putting down the plate of food): “Xiao Bai, try it.”
Feng Jiu (grimacing): “Uh ~”
Emperor: “Hmm?”
Feng Jiu (thinking of aunt and uncle): “Because you cooked it ………”
Dijun (licking the sauce at the corner of Feng Jiu’s mouth): “Xiao Bai, irrespective whether you are a person or a fox, you have very unique taste ah.”
Feng Jiu: “…….”
Four
Cheng Yu (holding the plate): “I went to Feng Jiu & Dijun’s home to learn how to cook this fish. Come on, try it.”
Lian Song (pleasantly surprised): “Cheng Yu, you….”
Cheng Yu (blushing): “Please give it a try.”
Lian Song (eating and looking solemn): “This…….”
Cheng Yu (curious): “Tasty or not?”
Lian Song (suffering and enduring): “Good, tasty.”
Cheng Yu (mumbling to herself): Oh? Why Diji Feng Jiu said Dijun’s cooking is shocking heaven and earth, even the Gods and ghosts weep?”
Lian Song (dumbfounded): “Ahem, cough, cough, cough….. You learned this from Dong Hua, that old geezer?”
Cheng Yu (naive and honest): Well, he saw Diji and me cooking in the kitchen. He overheard that I am cooking for you to eat (shy) so he came over to help out.”
Lian Song: “…..”
Cheng Yu: “3rd Prince Lian Song, how are you? Are you ok?”
Lian Song: “…….”
(Those who have read a little of The Pillow Book should know Dijun’s cooking:P)
Five
At Ji Yuan Palace.
Cheng Yu (looking unkempt and covered in cooking fumes smell): “3rd Prince, come and try the dishes I cooked.”
Lian Song (surprise): “Are you sure, Cheng Yu?”
Cheng Yu (expressionless): “Rogue!”
Lian Song (have not even taken a bite): “Delicious!”
Cheng Yu: “…….”
The next day, Lian Song goes to Tai Chen Palace to find Feng Jiu to teach him cooking. Unfortunately, after witnessing a scene, he silently closes his fan and returns to Ji Yuan Palace.
Cheng Yu (surprise): “Come back so soon. What did Diji Feng Jiu teach you?”
Lian Song (silent): “That couple, one’s cooking is heaven and earth shakingly delicious, the other one’s cooking is ghosts also do not want to eat. In this aspect we are definitely going to lose.”
Cheng Yu: “What are we going to do?”
Lian Song (putting the fan around the waist): “We will compete in something else.”
Cheng Yu: “What?”
Suddenly, Lian Song picks up Cheng Yu and walks to the direction of the bedroom .
Cheng Yu (pretending to be angry): “What do you want to do!?”
Lian Song: We will have more babies than anyone who is unmarried. Ye Hua, that brat has a son little dough. Dong Hua, that old geezer has Bai Gun Gun. As long as we have two babies, we will win!”
Cheng Yu: “Who told you that we are competing? Rogue!”
Lian Song: “I am guessing.”
Cheng Yu (resigns to her fate): “……..”
Six
Lian Song (fanning and peeking at Cheng Yu): “Yesterday, I went to that brat Ye Hua’s place. I saw Bai Qian and Feng Jiu who were discussing how to celebrate International Women’s Day.”
Cheng Yu (eating guokwei): “So what?”
Lian Song (closing the fan): “Are you interested in joining them?”
Cheng Yu (mouthful of guokwei): “So what?”
Lian Song (touching the nose): “I can help you.”
Cheng Yu thinking for a moment (wiping the mouth): “Rogue ………..”
Lian Song: “………..”
(Cheng Yu thought Lian Song wants to make a woman out of her, LOL)
Seven
Finally one day, Feng Jiu plucked up the courage to tell Dong Hua one of his many shortcomings. Hopefully he will realize and correct it.
“I feel sometimes Dijun’s skin is a little thick.”
After finish saying, she feels a little regret for being so straightforward may hurt Dijun’s self-esteem?
Dijun who is fishing, looks at her for a moment: “Well, your observation is very accurate.”
…… What can you do when you encounter a man without pride? Feng Jiu feels very fustrated.
Eight
One day, Feng Jiu went to look for Lord Lian Song to discuss about Dong Hua’s problem: “He always speaks so mean. If he can be more gentle, he will definitely be more welcome by everyone.”
Lian Song: “Do you know why he can sustain longer compared to all the other ancient gods to become the number one deity who nobody dares to offend? Because he waited until now, just to see all of you hate him with a passion yet cannot do anything to get him.”
“….”
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Annoucement:
Dijun’s advantage is his skin is thick and shortcoming is his skin is too thick. All of you always want me to give him his comeuppance. I am also thinking very seriously about this issue but a person who does not have self-esteem does not have any weakness. When facing a Dijun who has no weakness, I am helpless to do anything:(
Nine
Feng Jiu (staring at the Cang'he sword on Dong Hua’s waist): “Dijun, there is a person called Tang Qi who made me suffer so much pain. You have to take revenge for me!”
Dong Hua: “Xiao Bai, you mean you are suffering after marrying me?”
Feng Jiu: “… I do not mean that …”
Dong Hua: “Then what do you mean?”
Feng Jiu: “I mean to say I suffered a lot before marrying you! Dijun, I am your the Empress ah!”
Dong Hua: “But Tang Qi is my real mother who gave birth to me.”
Feng Jiu: “….”
Ten
Feng Jiu: “Dijun, it is impossible for us to be together because we have the same mother, Tang Qi.”
Dong Hua: “Do not be silly, we do not have blood ties. Tang Qi is my biological mother but she is your stepmother.”