I could taste blood and pebbles in my mouth, perhaps I've shattered my teeth.
My tears continued to flow as I suppressed the sounds of moaning.
The past emotions that I've felt in the illusion was diffusing into my head,
And those past feelings have rooted into the present.
I reached out for the sword that was on the floor with my shaking hands, and with all my strength, plunged it into my thigh.
Blood splattered on my face, and the pain I'm used to could be felt.
This sharp, but somewhat familiar agony brought me back to the present.
That was just the memory of the past.
I'm stuck in the Tutorial, being attacked by a psychological attack.
It's in the past, it's in the past.
Once more, I stab into my leg.
Just a process of enduring, gaining a skill, and growing stronger.
Back then, because of those memories, from the guilt and regret, I've driven myself into ruin.
Turning back onto the future, looking only into the past, with alcohol in hand.
But that must change now.
The swords edge drove into the inner muscle of my thigh.
I couldn't deny, nor redo my past.
But I will use it as a pedestal for my growth.
It's my guilt, regret and mistake.
I can't deny, look away or evade it anymore.
It's time to look straight at it, and bear it with me.
I've made my decision.
The tears didn't stop, the body shook, my head was spinning to the point of throwing up.
and the thought of escaping into the portal disappeared.
The emotions in my head have dyed back into anger.
You guys are doing all kinds of fucked up shit now.
I'll take it all.
The memories of the past has changed.
The memories of my father that has gone on for minutes, or perhaps hours have stopped.
The illusion now is when I was a professional gamer, just before my retirement.
[Lee Ho Jae was indeed a great player. His accomplishments are astounding. But that's all before I started my career isn't it? Lee Ho Jae may be a player with great talent, but that is all. I will show you how effort can beat a genius]
Fucking asshole.
He went on as if it's a known fact that I'm a lazy player who wouldn't even train.
Days before the match, that interview has caused many debates on the internet, and everyone's attention was fixed onto the result of the match.
And it was my utter defeat.
The illusion's point of view changed, and it showed my defeated look on the day of the match, after all the matches were played.
Those feelings could be felt clearly.
I raise the sword once more, and slice the skin of my leg thinnly.
Rather than be swept away by the torrent of the emotion from the past, I fixated onto the feelings of anger alone.
I'll show you how far I can go when you trigger me.
It's time to improve psychological attack resistance.
I'm feeling alittle dizzy, whether it's because I've cried too much, or bled too much.
The memories continue to show in my head.
Ofcourse, it's easily past 3 hours now.
But, I have no thoughts of leaving this place.
The memories of my father, my career, my school life have already been repeated now.
They wouldn't like the fact that they are being used for a trial like this.
I'm not creating this illusion, but it's being made because of me.
At this point, I'm starting to see rediculous monsters of my childish nightmares come to rip my body into pieces.
Well, nothing special here.
But isn't it hard to say this is my memory now.
Half of it's just fiction.
What memories will come out after this.
The memories of being scolded by parents, and nightmares, have been repeated to the point of bordom too.
Truth be told, what takes my attention isn't the boring illusion, but all the vouyeurs that have taken too much interest in me.
[The God of Adventures is impressed by your actions]
[The God of Coldness is curious about you]
[The God of Warrior has taken an interest in you]
[The God of Slowness send praise to your determination]
[The God of Light has taken an interest in you]
[The God of Devotion pities you]
Seems there's still someone who's pitying on me.
These messages have been coming repeatedly since long ago.
Seems like there's more than 10.
As I was busying myself with those thoughts, multiple alarms rang in my head along with messages.
[Congratulations. You are the first to completely conquer the last trial of Floor 2]
[You have recieved Mind corruption immunity Lv. 1]
[All status increase by 5]
[Fear resistance Lv.1, Illusion resistance Lv.1, Hallucination resistance Lv.2, Confusion resistance Lv.2 have been combined into Mind corruption immunity Lv.1]
[You have cleared Tutorial, Hell difficulty Floor 2]
[All status effects and injuries are healed]
[You have receieved 1000 points as reward for clearing]
[You have receieved 1000 bonus points for being first to clear the floor]
[Many gods show positive reaction to you. You have received 5500 points]
[Many gods show negative reaction to you. 400 points have been deducted]
It was a very long boss room.
Let's think later, there are still more messages coming.
[Additional reward are being given according to play record]
[The God of Slowness wishes to gift some of her powers instead of additional reward. Will you accept?]
...?
Did you say powers?
My head stopped at this unexpected development.
Yes. Uhuh. Ne (original say yes in korean, so i wrote korean yes in english). Accept. Give me. Give!
[You have received Blink Emblem Lv. Max]
Blink Emblem...
Let's read the message slowly.
"Status."
[Mental corruption immunity (Lv.1)]
Description: You are immune to all psychological attacks below certain threshhold.
A new skill received from the Boos room by combining 4 resistance skills.
It seems like it will be a good line of defense for such problems.
Not to mention this is immunity, not resistance.
Good.
Description: God of Slowness, one who loves the enduring and the patient, has gifted some of her powers to her possible apostle. If the one gifted with her powers were to turn away from her, she may become displeased greatly.
... How is this a description.
It's a blackmail written in the form of description.
So it wasn't a present, but a pact.
Can I undo this at this point...
But what kind of skill is this?
Why isn't there a single word of functional description .
[The God of Adventures is disappointed in you]
What's this guy on about now.
I should ask Kirikiri about the gods.
And... conquering the trial.
If the reward for conquering is a skill like mental corruption immunity, then I should try to aim for it as much as possible.
After sorting out my thoughts, I stretch and loosen my body.
Then I sit quietly on the floor, which is wet with the blood from my legs.
Haah, so peaceful.
It's the calmness you feel after crying for a long time.
Was it really because of the crying,
Or maybe it's the fact that I've made through another ordeal, and the sense of growth which comes with it.
[Round 2, Day 23, 21:30]
Um.
... It's been 3 days.
I didn't think so much time would of passed.
I thought it'd atmost be 1 day.
No wonder I've been feeling hungry.
Everything's sorted now.
It's time to leave this 2nd floor boss room.
I took a few steps, and reach for the portal in the corner.
Teleport.
My vision turned white, then showed the green grassland I've seen before.
And,
"Hello! It's been a while! Welcome!"
Greeting as she was hopping towards me, was the white rabbit girl, Kirikiri.