Yes, A slip; or call it by the proper name, Your Bastard.
_Jam_.
You are foul-mouth'd; do not provoke me, I shall forget your Birth if you proceed, And use you, (as your manners do deserve) uncivilly.
_Hen_.
So brave! pray you give me hearing, Who am I Sir?
_Jam_.
My elder Brother: One That might have been born a fool, and so reputed, But that you had the luck to creep into The world a year before me.
_Lean_.
Be more temperate.
_Jam_.
I neither can nor will, unless I learn it By his example: let him use his harsh Unsavoury reprehensions upon those That are his Hinds, and not on me. The Land Our Father left to him alone rewards him, For being twelve months elder, let that be Forgotten, and let his Parasites remember One quality of worth or vertue in him That may authorize him, to be a censurer Of me, or my manners, and I will Acknowledge him for a Tutor, till then, never.
_Hen_.
From whom have you your means Sir?
_Jam_.
From the will Of my dead Father; I am sure I spend not Nor give't upon your purse.
_Hen.
But will it hold out Without my help?
_Jam_.
I am sure it shall, I'le sink else, For sooner I will seek aid from a Whore, Than a courtesie from you.
_Hen_.
'Tis well; you are proud of Your new Exchequer, when you have cheated him And worn him to the quick, I may be found In the List of your acquaintance.
_Lean_
Pray you hold And give me leave (my Lord) to say thus much (And in mine own defence) I am no Gull To be wrought on by perswasion: nor no Coward To be beaten out of my means, but know to whom And why I give or lend, and will do nothing But what my reason warrants; you may be As sparing as you please, I must be bold To make use of my own, without your licence.
_Jam_.
'Pray thee let him alone, he is not worth thy anger.
All that he do's (_Leandro_) is for my good, I think there's not a Gentleman of _Spain_, That has a better Steward, than I have of him.
_Hen_.
Your Steward Sir?
_Jam_.
Yes, and a provident one: Why, he knows I am given to large expence, And therefore lays up for me: could you believe else That he, that sixteen years hath worn the yoke Of barren wedlock, without hope of issue (His Coffers full, his Lands and Vineyards fruitful) Could be so sold to base and sordid thrift, As almost to deny himself, the means And necessaries of life? Alas, he knows The Laws of _Spain_ appoint me for his Heir, That all must come to me, if I out-live him, Which sure I must do, by the course of Nature, And the assistance of good Mirth, and Sack, How ever you prove Melancholy.
_Hen_.
If I live, Thou dearly shalt repent this.
_Jam_.
When thou art dead, I am sure I shall not.
_Mil_.
Now they begin to burn Like oppos'd Meteors.
_Ars_.
Give them line, and way, My life for _Don Jamie_.
_Jam_.
Continue still The excellent Husband, and joyn Farm to Farm, Suffer no Lordship, that in a clear day Falls in the prospect of your covetous eye To be anothers; forget you are a Grandee; Take use upon use, and cut the throats of Heirs With cozening Mortgages: rack your poor Tenants, Till they look like so many Skeletons For want of Food; and when that Widows curses, The ruines of ancient Families, tears of Orphans Have hurried you to the Devil, ever remember All was rak'd up for me (your thankful Brother) That will dance merrily upon your Grave, And perhaps give a double Pistolet To some poor needy Frier, to say a Mass To keep your Ghost from walking.
_Hen_.
That the Law Should force me to endure this!
_Jam_.
Verily, When this shall come to pass (as sure it will) If you can find a loop-hole, though in Hell, To look on my behaviour, you shall see me Ransack your Iron Chests, and once again _Pluto's_ flame-colour'd Daughter shall be free To domineer in Taverns, Masques, and Revels As she was us'd before she was your Captive.
Me thinks the meer conceipt of it, should make you Go home sick, and distemper'd; if it do's, I'le send you a Doctor of mine own, and after Take order for your Funeral.
_Hen_.
You have said, Sir, I will not fight with words, but deeds to tame you, Rest confident I will, and thou shalt wish This day thou hadst been dumb.--
[_Exit_.
_Mil_.
You have given him a heat, But with your own distemper.
_Jam_.