Published at 8th of February 2021 11:49:52 AM
Chapter 166
Worry
TL: Daemon
ED: PuffyPyjamas
The third quarter of school began and during that time, I continued to worry over my issues, in contrast to Hiiragi-chan, who continued to proceed as normal .
“Third quarter is… super busy… there’s so much work to do…”
Over the weekend starting on Friday, she was exhausted as usual, and was in a state where both her HP and MP were almost at zero .
She showed herself less and less at club activities, and she also started going home later on the weekends .
Still, it’s not like our club activities were anything like real club activities . It was mostly us three gathering up after school and talking, and everyone in a while Rei-chan would stop by and we would add her into the conversation .
That was the situation, and yet I wasn’t able to open up about my worries . Even if I were to tell people that we were going to break up in a month, no one would believe me .
The reason that she is so busy, is because in a short span of time, there will be both midterms and finals . Due to that, the work needed to prepare for tests is considerably compressed into a short amount of time .
“I’m not great at organizing things, so it can’t be helped . ”
Or so Hiiragi-chan’s expression turned from tired to a smile . As she was concentrating on work, it was hard for us to have a serious conversation about our relationship .
Once things calm down for Hiiragi-chan more—
While thinking that way, a month passed and midterms ended . Continuing to look for a chance to talk again, we rushed into the second half of February .
“Hey, Sanada . Are you going to get chocolate?”
“I don’t know . Getting something even like 2 obligatory pieces would be a huge win . ”
Fujimoto spoke again while trying to hide his voice .
“That’s not it, I meant real chocolate . ”
“From who?”
I played innocent, but from the way he was speaking does he think that I’m guaranteed to get one?
“…No, it’s nothing . ”
“Hey, Fujimoto, do you possibly…?”
“Don’t know what you’re talking about . ”
“I haven’t said anything yet . ”
“Even if you were to date someone, that isn’t something that concerns me . It wouldn’t make me popular after all . ”
He made it as if he was speaking to himself, and then soon changed the topic . Talking about things like, who confessed to who .
Maybe, he knows about Hiiragi-chan, and he’s been following up for me at various points in time without me knowing .
“Fujimoto, how about I get you some chocolate . Filled with my everyday gratitude . ”
“That’s disgusting . I don’t need it . ”
I laughed .
Fujimoto looked at the hallway and made a small sigh .
“…Geez, Sanada . You made my heart skip a beat there . ”
He pointed outside with his thumb .
“Sanada, over there . They’re calling you . ”
Fujimoto was pointing at two girls . When our eyes met, one of them nodded .
I stood up and walked over to the hallway, the girl that nodded asked me for a moment of my time . I recognize her, but I don’t remember her name . I shouldn’t have had many interactions with her .
The other girl was Ougoshi-san, from one of my elective classes .
After telling her okay, the two of them walked down the hall towards an area with less people . Perhaps this was planned already, as neither of them spoke to each other as they led me out of the school building in front of the tea ceremony room .
Without saying anything, the other girl patted Ougoshi-san on the back before turning on her heels and leaving .
There was silence for a while, with the tension of the moment even being transmitted to me .
…A little bit later, Ougoshi-san opened her mouth to say something, and then stuck out her hand, which was gripping onto a small paper bag .
I couldn’t quite hear what she said very well as her voice was very quiet, but I was able to hear the most important part of it .
That reminds me, the previous time, this also happened around this time…
I gave a reply refusing Ougoshi-san . I was hesitant on whether to accept the chocolate or not though, and as I was wondering what would be ruder, Ougoshi-san forcefully handed it to me, before running off .
It was like this the previous time as well, however, I can never get used to this indescribable sense of punishment .
◆ Hiiragi Haruka ◆
When should I hand him the chocolate?
Should I call him out after school—I was thinking of such a high school student-like plan .
While walking down the hall and worrying about a good timing, I found Seiji-kun walking behind two girls . Dokun, my heartbeat started beating harder .
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“…”
This feeling of pain within me was on a different level from before .
I can’t explain it very well, but it was different from jealousy or even anxiety .
Seiji-kun will definitely be confessed to . I wasn’t worried specifically about that, as he will definitely turn her down . I trust him .
——Sensei is an adult, you should just have a romance with other adults . Why are you with Nii-san .
——Sensei, Nii-san is just caught up in the moment . There are definitely a lot of other people out there, he’s just in a state where he isn’t looking at them .
The words that Sanchan said at the end of the year resonated within my mind .
“…”
At that time, I argued with Sana, however that blade was constantly stabbing into my chest .
Am I limiting Seiji-kun’s choices…?
I wouldn’t like that…
I stood there in the hallway, as if time had stopped for me . After a while, one of the girls came back and returned towards the classrooms, and a little while after that, another girl passed by with red eyes looking downwards as she ran .
He’s dependable, although sometimes perverted . Even at work, he’s excellent and kind .
“…”
Being caught up in the moment and not looking elsewhere . That’s something that also applies to me . Wanting to monopolize him, to prevent him from being taken by anyone else, I may have unknowingly blocked out Seiji-kun’s ears and eyes .
Seiji-kun’s best option, might even be someone other than me .
Do I happen to have any charm in being an adult woman?
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I’m bad at work, and often clumsy . A terrible drunk as well .
Your charm is only in your body and family—I can’t laugh at that .
In the end, I couldn’t hand over the chocolate that I had poured my love and gratitude into .
“…Seiji-kun, sorry, I thought to prepare one, but I got busy with work—”
I ended up lying to Seiji-kun . Something inside me seemed to grind down .
“I see . It seems like a lot of hard work after all . ”
Well, it can’t be helped, Seiji-kun said over the phone . As usual, he’s a student but it helps that he’s very understanding when it comes to work .
That’s why, an even larger amount of guilt flooded in .
It was a waste to throw it away, so I gave it to Natsumi who came to hangout over the weekend .
The beautiful wrapping that I gave it was thrown away as it would have given it away .
Without being able to have a proper conversation with Seiji-kun, we headed into the final testing period .
For the final exam results, Seiji-kun scored an average score as usual .
Finals testing ended, and the last thing that was left for school was graduation, filling the school with a relaxed atmosphere .
Before final exams, I was absorbed into work as if I was running away from my problems . However, after that was all done, I ended up thinking about it . About Seiji-kun .
What would be best for Seiji-kun? What would be best for me? What would be the best for both of us?
An amazing person likes me . Loves me . That’s something that I’m very happy about, but a shadow is cast over it .
I’m fine with it, but is he really fine with just me?