Side Story.
One of Zheng Jia Ju’s exes before she married Cheng Yi came to see her. Her ex wanted to reconcile with her. She told her ex to leave. Her ex didn’t leave until Cheng Yi forced her ex to leave.
‘Zheng Jia Ju, give me a chance to take care of you and Xiao Nian,’ Cheng Yi said.
‘The truth is we’re divorced,’ Zheng Jia Ju lied.
‘No,’ Cheng Yi said. ‘You’re my wife, and Xiao Nian is my son. I don’t remember divorcing you.’
‘You don’t remember the past,’ Zheng Jia Ju. ‘You don’t remember marrying me, and you don’t remember divorcing me.’
‘We can remarry if we’re divorced,’ Cheng Yi said.
‘No,’ Zheng Jia Ju said. ‘Stay away from me, and don’t bother me anymore.’
‘Zheng Jia Ju, what do you want me to do for you to let me take care of you and Xiao Nian?’ Cheng Yi said.
‘I don’t need anything from you,’ Zheng Jia Ju said. ‘Except for you to stay away from me.’
‘Don’t even dream about it,’ Cheng Yi said.
Cheng Yi lost his memories, but he felt he couldn’t let go of Zheng Jia Ju and Xiao Nian. He felt they must have been important to him. When he kissed Zheng Jia Ju, he felt everything was right and that he belonged with her and Xiao Nian.
Zheng Jia Ju wanted to pretend Cheng Yi died. She didn’t want to remember how Cheng Yi abandoned her and Xiao Nian, how he shot her and almost killed Xiao Nian.
‘If you’re a man, you should let me live my life with my son,’ Zheng Jia Ju said. ‘Haven’t you done enough?’
‘Zheng Jia Ju, come back with me to the U.S.,’ Cheng Yi said.
Zheng Jia Ju walked away, and she didn’t look back. She didn’t see Cheng Yi collapsed on the ground and she didn’t hear a stranger passing by Cheng Yi call the ambulance to take Cheng Yi to the hospital.
Qiao Tan Yuan didn’t want to hold back the emotions in her heart. She got off the bed and stood tall.
‘So what if Chu Da died?’ Qiao Tan Yuan asked. ‘Yes, I provoked her to leave. But just because I told her to leave does that mean she has to leave? The truth is she left because she didn’t love you enough. She didn’t believe you loved her enough. If she loved you enough, and believed you love her then how could she leave you?’
‘Qiao Tan Yuan!’ Gu Jiao Wu said. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. ‘How can you still be like this? How can you not take responsibility for your actions, and pour all the blame on someone who is dead?’
‘What do you expect?’ Qiao Tan Yuan asked coldly. ‘What do you want me to say? Do you want me to say I’m sorry? Do you want me to say I’m wrong?’
‘Qiao Tan Yuan!’ Gu Jiao Wu said. He held Qiao Tan Yuan’s shoulders. He was scared of what he was hearing. ‘Don’t say that.’
‘I will keep saying the truth,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said. She ignored the pain in her shoulders. ‘Isn’t it good she’s dead? If she’s alive, you’ll be with her now. You only came to me after she’s dead. Am I wrong? I got what I wanted, right?’
‘Have you said enough?’ Gu Jiao Wu asked.
‘Not enough,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said.
Qiao Tan Yuan didn’t know what Gu Jiao Wu was expecting from her, but she knew he was disappointed in her. She waved her white flag. She lost to Chu Da when Chu Da was alive, and she lost to Chu Da when Chu Da was dead. She was selfish in the past, but she had changed. Whereas Gu Jiao Wu’s heart didn’t change, he would always love Chu Da the most.
‘Gu Jiao Wu, this is me,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said. ‘I’m impulsive and selfish. I would do anything to get what I want. I loved you, and I wanted you to love me too. You didn’t love me, I didn’t hesitate to eliminate the biggest obstacle stopping you to love me. Now can you see who I am?’
Gu Jiao Wu stepped away from Qiao Tan Yuan, and looked at her face. She wasn’t the shy woman who he loved. The woman he loved wouldn’t be cruel and unremorseful. But the face he saw belonged to the woman he loved. Qiao Tan Yuan was the same woman from years ago, she was impatient, bitter and selfish. Back then she fought with him every day. Did he love her blindly or did he not understand her deeply enough?
Gu Jiao Wu hated himself. What did he want Qiao Tan Yuan to say? Chu Da died too suddenly, and pitifully. He hated himself for doubting Chu Da’s love, and letting Chu Da die alone. He was disappointed in Qiao Tan Yuan, he didn’t understand deeply who Qiao Tan Yuan was and he doubted if Qiao Tan Yuan loved him.
‘Qiao Tan Yuan, do you truly love me?’ Gu Jiao Wu asked. ‘Do you love me? Or is it because you’re used to getting everything you wanted since you were a girl that you did everything to get me?’
Qiao Tan Yuan turned her head to the side to avoid looking at the disappointment in Gu Jiao Wu’s eyes. She dug her fingernails in her hands, and forced herself to look directly at his eyes.
‘You’re right,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said. ‘I don’t love you. I was infatuated with you. Because I couldn’t have you, I did everything to get you. Gu Jiao Wu, I don’t love you, not even a little.’
Gu Jiao Wu looked at Qiao Tan Yuan’s eyes. It was like her eyes stabbed his heart. Compared to the frustrations he felt for not finding Chu Da in the past, Qiao Tan Yuan’s words cut his heart infinitely deeper. Qiao Tan Yuan made his heart bleed.
‘Qiao Tan Yan, you’re a cruel woman,’ Gu Jiao Wu said.
‘Thank you for the compliment,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said. She forced herself to look calm. ‘You’ve always known the truth, I’m cruel.’
Gu Jiao Wu nodded his head. He had always known Qiao Tan Yuan was a cruel woman toward others and toward him. But why was he heartbroken enough for his heart to bleed? Compared to finding out Chu Da died, Qiao Tan Yuan’s cruelness gave him more pain. How could Qiao Tan Yuan be that cruel toward him?
Gu Jiao Wu took a deep breath. He needed time to calm down, and sort out his conflicted feelings. He didn’t want to do anything irrational while in an emotional state. Everything that happened between him and Qiao Tan Yuan occupied most of his head space.
‘Are you regretful?’ Gu Jiao Wu asked.
Gu Jiao Wu wanted to know if Qiao Tan Yuan regretted what she did in order to get him when she was young, and inexperienced. He wanted to know if she thought the price to pay to get someone she didn’t love.
‘Regret?’ Qiao Tan Yuan asked.
Qiao Tan Yuan forced herself to smile. She thought life was cruel not to let her undo her regrets. But she didn’t want to admit she had regrets in front of Gu Jiao Wu.
‘I have no regrets,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said.
Gu Jiao Wu only saw Qiao Tan Yuan smiling unremorsefully. He didn’t notice the blood on her palms.
‘Gu Jiao Wu, I have no regrets,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said. ‘Even if I could turn back time, I wouldn’t change anything.’
Qiao Tan Yuan knew her old self wouldn’t listen to reason. Her old self would still pressure Chu Da to leave, and drug Gu Jiao Wu to force him to marry her. Her old self wouldn’t regret.
‘Are you sure?’ Gu Jiao Wu asked.
Gu Jiao Wu took more steps away from Qiao Tan Yuan. He didn’t know what to say. He needed time to calm down, and to think rationally. He turned around to leave.
Qiao Tan Yuan watched Gu Jiao Wu slowly stepped to the door to leave her again.
‘At least this time we don’t have to divorce each other,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said.
Gu Jiao Wu stood frozen at the door. He clenched his hands, and thought about what he wanted most.
‘I’m not going to cancel our wedding,’ Gu Jiao Wu said.
‘But I’m going to cancel the wedding,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said. Gu Jiao Wu didn’t’ turn around to look at her. If he turned around, he would see tears in her eyes. ‘Gu Jiao Wu, I don’t need you. I’m not going to marry you.’
Gu Jiao Wu didn’t care about the veins popping out of his hands. All he cared about was that Qiao Tan Yuan didn’t love him.
‘Your choice,’ Gu Jiao Wu said.
Qiao Tan Yuan heard the finality in Gu Jiao Wu’s voice. He took the last step to go outside, and he closed her bedroom door tightly. She collapsed onto the floor, and she stared at the closed door. Memories of her and Gu Jiao Wu together crowded her head. She was hurting too much that she couldn’t cry. Her happiness was fleeting, she lost Gu Jiao Wu. She shook her head. She didn’t ever have Gu Jiao Wu so she couldn’t lose someone she didn’t have. Whether it was in the past or in the future, Gu Jiao Wu didn’t belong to her.
Qiao Tan Yuan accepted the short period with Gu Jiao Wu was the happiest days in her life. But those fleeting memories were only a dream. She had woken from the dream, and her happiness disappeared.
That afternoon Qiao Tan Yuan didn’t know how long she laid motionless on the floor.
In the early morning, Mrs Qiao sensed something was wrong. Since Gu Jiao Wu left the day before, Qiao Tan Yuan looked lost. She wondered if Gu Jiao Wu and Qiao Tan Yuan had a fight before the wedding. She wanted to believe Gu Jiao Wu and Qiao Tan Yuan only had wedding jitters.
‘Tan Yuan, the hotel reception is booked,’ Mrs Qiao said. ‘Do you want to go to the hotel with me this afternoon to see the layout of the hotel reception?’
‘Mum, we don’t need to,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said. She continued to pack hers and Xiao Bao’s belongings in a suitcase. ‘Mum, the wedding is cancelled.’
‘What?’ Mrs Qiao asked.
‘Mum, the wedding is cancelled,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said. ‘I bought tickets for me and Xiao Bao. This weekend Xiao Bao and I are flying to Denmark.’
‘Tan Yuan… what are you saying?’ Mrs Qiao said. ‘Everything for the wedding is prepared. You and Jiao Wu agreed to remarry. Why are you and Jiao Wu suddenly cancelling the wedding?’
‘Mum, I’m sorry,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said. ‘The wedding is cancelled. I’m not going to marry Gu Jiao Wu. I’m sorry for troubling you and dad.’
‘Tan Yuan, you haven’t troubled me and your dad,’ Mrs Qiao said. ‘What happened? Did Jiao Wu cancel the wedding or did you cancel the wedding?’
‘We mutually agreed to cancel the wedding,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said. ‘We’re not compatible.’
Mrs Qiao couldn’t believe what Qiao Tan Yuan was saying.
‘Mum, let it be,’ Qiao Tan Yuan said. She smiled sincerely. ‘Xiao Bao and I will live a good life together.’
A long drive away from the Qiao Mansion, Du Lei Xin didn’t know what to do with the drunk Gu Jiao Wu. Du Lei Xin looked at the empty beer cans on floor yet Gu Jiao Wu kept drinking.
‘Big brother, if you keep drinking you’ll harm your health,’ Du Lei Xin said.
Du Lei Xin grabbed the beer can out of Gu Jiao Wu’s hand. Gu Jiao Wu pushed his hand away, and snatched back the beer can.
‘Go away,’ Gu Jiao Wu said. He gulped down the beer. ‘I don’t need you to care.’
‘Big brother…’ Du Lei Xin called.
Du Lei Xin didn’t want Gu Jiao Wu to drink to death.
‘Don’t yell,’ Gu Jiao Wu said. ‘I told you to go away. Why are you still here?’
Gu Jiao Wu opened another beer can. He could only see Qiao Tan Yuan in his head, and he couldn’t forget how she calmly told him she didn’t love him. Why couldn’t he stop feeling pain because she didn’t love him?
Du Lei Xin called Gu Jiao Wen to knock sense into Gu Jiao Wu.
Gu Jiao Wen arrived at one of Du Lei Xin’s private function rooms at eight in the morning. There was alcohol stench it the room, and Gu Jiao Wu was lying unconscious on the floor. He shook Gu Jiao Wu’s body until Gu Jiao Wu woke up.
‘Jiao Wen… why are you here?’ Gu Jiao Wu asked in a hoarse voice.
‘You’re awake,’ Gu Jiao Wen said.
‘Why are you here,’ Gu Jiao Wu asked.
‘Big brother you should ask yourself why you’re here,’ Gu Jiao Wen said.
Gu Jiao Wu rubbed his throbbing forehead.
‘Big brother, you’re getting married soon,’ Gu Jiao Wen said. ‘You should cut back on the drinking.’
Gu Jiao Wu grabbed his phone off the table full of empty beer cans. He received a text message from Xiao Lam, ‘Big brother, big sister booked tickets to Denmark. Are you and big sister going to Denmark for your honeymoon?’
Gu Jiao Wu didn’t want to read the rest of the text message. He followed Gu Jiao Wen upstairs, and he showered while Gu Jiao Wen called for clothes to be delivered to the room.
Gu Jiao Wu walked out of the bathroom in a wrapped towel.
‘Why do you want to see me?’ Gu Jiao Wu asked.
‘I received news Qiao Tan Yuan booked a one way ticket to Denmark,’ Gu Jiao Wen said.
‘What?’ Gu Jiao Wu asked.
‘Big brother, aren’t you and Qiao Tan Yuan getting married soon?’ Gu Jiao Wen asked. ‘Why is she leaving to Denmark with Xiao Bao? Is the wedding cancelled?’
Gu Jiao Wu sat on the sofa. His conversation with Qiao Tan Yuan from the day before echoed in his throbbing head. She didn’t want to marry him, she didn’t need him and she didn’t love him.
‘Big brother…’ Gu Jiao Wen called. ‘Big brother, Qiao Tan Yuan is leaving to Denmark.’
Xiao Lam called Gu Jiao Wu’s phone before Gu Jiao Wu could answer Gu Jiao Wen.
‘Big brother, big sister booked a one way ticket to Denmark,’ Xiao Lam said. ‘Do you want us to stop big sister and Xiao Bao leaving like last time?’
End of Chapter 131