Hors d’oeuvre
TN: I actually like this chapter. The interactions are funny and there’s a lot of food. I always like googling the food pictures.
Halfling adventurer, Ted was restlessly waiting for his phantom dish.
[Still not yet~, still not yet~]
While swinging his legs, Ted asked impatiently while holding his stomach.
When he came to the otherworld dining hall 7 days ago, he was so surprised to see a lot of his fellow brethren that he spent a lot of his money due to his excitement.
Because of that, even though his stomach was empty, his wallet was also empty.
This time, he borrowed the money from his companions to order "that" and the drink that came with the food.
Yes, Ted ordered the phantom cuisine that he heard from his fellow Halflings "7 days ago" at the restaurant.
As one dish, it was the most expensive dish at the restaurant, but at the same time it also had the most amount.
It took a lot of time and labour, and it was not ordinarily listed in the menu, so he needed to ask for "reservation" to eat it the next time he came to the restaurant.
(The owner, so to speak, was able to make it if the reservation was made 2 days before, but since the restaurant was only available once in 7 days, I need to make reservation 7 days before.)
Therefore, as Halflings were too curious to stay in the same place for more than 3 days, it was a phantom dish that was only heard of from other customers.
Still, his glutton predecessors who managed to withstand it were great.
He looked up the map of the results of his investigations and he found out that nearly half of 100 Halflings discussed about it.
There were two doors where the distance between them were only 7 days on foot.
By using the road connecting those two doors, Halflings finally got the opportunity to eat that phantom dish.
That cuisine was able to match the Halflings' palate and very much satisfy their curiosity and stomach.
After that, when the Halflings at the Eastern Continent used the opportunity to use those two doors, they started to discuss about that dish.
Yes indeed, Ted just discovered about that opportunity while adventuring with his colleagues and he ordered that dish…
[Sorry to keep you waiting. It's 2 sets of hors d'oeuvre.]
[Hyahoo! It's finally here!]
Hors d'oeuvre. It's the phantom dish which was an assortment of a variety of food as much as the amount of fingers on both hands. {TN: I think it means there're 10 of them}
[Ooo… this is awesome…]
Carried by the owner were hors d'oeuvre placed on a mysterious plate not made of metal, wood or pottery with partitions between the foods so that they were not mixed up.
Through the transparent lid, it still looked hot and deliciously made and tempted Ted.
In fact he really wanted to eat it now. He wanted to eat it together with the beer that he ordered.
[Well then, I'm going back home. Thank you!]
[No. Thank you for your patronage.]
But Ted endured the temptation and left the shop.
[All right! Let's hurry back home! Before it gets cold!]
He ran while being careful not to destroy the content of his baggage.
In order to buy this hors d'oeuvre, he borrowed the money from his friend. Specifically, it was the same amount as the price of the food.
That was why Ted hurried back to his colleagues to fulfill the promise he made when borrowing the money.
In a camp site with a strong tent stretched out to protect from rain, a party of adventurers were preparing their camp while waiting for their friend who was acquiring their food.
[…Really, where the heck does that idiot Ted go to get food?]
It may be because of hunger or irritation, Gallius the dwarf warrior with full body heavy metal armor stamped his short legs on the ground.
[Don't be like that. It's thanks to Ted that today's trip is going well. Perhaps, he has various ideas.]
The leader of the party, Albert who came from a knight household wearing leather armor with metal plates on various key points of the body and a magical sword gifted from his family hanging from his waist soothed the dwarf.
[Fun, I don't think he has such advanced ideas…]
Admonished by Albert, Gallius silently snorted as per his usual habit.
Gallius wouldn't admit Ted's achievements.
Ted's proposal that was called the "hors d'oeuvre highway" among the Halflings was certainly a tremendous shortcut.
Although there were problems of going through animal trails and hazardous places, usually it would take more or less half a month.
[Maa, indeed it's thanks to Ted that this trip is going well, isn't it fine?
Actually I know that Ted is familiar with this journey, but I do not think that it's to this extent.]
The demon fighter Zack who had hard and red scaly body agreed with Albert.
He knew that Halflings, including Ted, possessed good knowledge about this kind of travel as well as hand dexterity, but he never thought it was to this extent.
[…Anyway, why did Ted tell us to camp here tonight? Is there something here?]
Wearing a thin cloak of elven magic above her ordinary clothes and a mithril rapier hanging from her waist was Lydia, a half-elf magician that hailed from the Forest Capital.
There were no dangerous monsters around, the ground was dry and there was a water source nearby, it was a pretty good camping place.
However the sun had not set yet when they arrived there, and if they hurried they could have arrived at a nearby town by sunset.
Nevertheless, Ted insisted on camping there.
Thanks to Ted, the journey advanced quickly so they were willing to listen to his willfulness, but it was still strange nonetheless.
[Well, what do you think? Ted earlier said "I will give you a feast, so lend me money!" and took 6 silver coins from me.]
The woman placating Lydia's doubts was Sasha, a miko serving the God of Water with straight black hair and wearing clothing of onmyouji of the Western Continent.
…Ted's eyes were serious even though there was no use of money in a place where there was no house.
[[[[Feast?]]]]
Sure enough, the other 4 people tilted their head in doubt after hearing that phrase.
Their location was a camping place without any housing around them. There was no way that a feast could be acquired in such a place.
[…Perhaps there’s a rumor of something delicious that was only available around here?]
After thinking about it for a moment, Albert told them the only thing that he could come up with.
[So why use the silver coins?]
[Saa… I don’t know to that extent.]
After being questioned by Lydia, Albert abandoned his theory.
He had never heard that there was something unusual in that area.
If there was such a thing, it would only be chalked up as a rumor.
[Anyway, he said that he's going to acquire a treat… guys, what kind of treat will he bring?]
There was no conclusion until Ted came back anyway.
Thinking that, Zack tried to change the topic.
[Oh right, it's been a long time since I treated myself to meat and alcohol.]
Saying it naturally, Gallius stated something as if getting on the subject.
Fatty meat with alcohol.
Those two combinations were a great treat for any time of the day.
Another recent rumour among the dwarves was a new, delicious alcohol with strong taste.
He was given a cup from a dwarf he met on his last journey, he thought that it was already perfect the way it was.
[Well, you're always like that every time. This is why dwarves…
I want to eat fresh vegetables. After all, young elf beans are delicious this time of year.]
While opposing Gallius' words, Lydia gave out her own opinion.
Even though her parents were elves, she was born as a half-elf due to being a replacement child {TN: refer to the pudding chapter}, and when she was still living at her hometown, the Forest Capital, her magic power was weaker compared to the other elves living there and she had shorter live span, so she left.
It had been almost 10 years since she left, she was now used to eating meat and fish compared to when she had just left, but the taste of her hometown's food was unforgettable and even now she still remembered sometimes.
Especially since there were few people growing elf beans at the Eastern Continent.
[I guess for me its fresh fish. After all, the sea creatures are delicious…]
Sasha was also reminded the smell of the ocean of her fisherman hometown. Unless it's a city near the ocean, seafood circulating in the market tasted greasy and were not fresh.
Her favourite food was a hot and spicy red seafood soup that needed to be boiled for half a day. She had not eaten it since she left her hometown located at the Sea Country for training and becoming an adventurer.
[A feast huh… that reminds me, back when I was a kid I always looked forward to eat cake on celebration days.]
Albert also remembered the distant days.
Mix flour with eggs, milk and plenty of valuable honey and bake it. It's so sweet that it's as if melting sugar was sprinkled on the teeth.
It was so rarely eaten even for Albert who was the third son of a nobleman, so he remembered that he always looked forward to eating it for days before celebration days.
[As for me, I prefer eggs. That and the freshly fried croquettes sold at the Capital City's food stall I often visited back when I was a kid were also delicious.]
And finally Zack told them what he thought as a feast.
The taste that he ate back when he lived at the Empire's Capital City, which was one of the few countries where the demon tribe could live normally.
Egg dishes which could be eaten on celebration days and fried croquettes which were made by mashing boiled Baron's fruit and covering it with flour before deep-frying it. {TN: potatotes.}
Those two tastes were still unforgettable for Zack.
[…If you ask me this, everything is delicious.]
Albert found it to be funny when five people discussed what they thought as a "feast".
[All of us come from different places.]
While nodding to Albert's words, Sasha said simply.
They set up an adventurer team and had been active for 5 years.
They repeated new encounters and farewells, becoming six men party after adding Ted to their team.
Six people that were born and raised in different places, and things that came to their minds when they thought of feast were also different.
To that, those 5 people laughed a little…
[Thank you for waiting! I brought it! The special feast!]
They greeted Ted who came back and their banquet began.
Five pairs of eyes were zeroed on it.
What they were seeing was a feast that Ted acquired from an unknown place.
It was placed on a flat stone.
[…Oi oi, am I dreaming? Ted, what kind of magic that you used to procure this?]
On behalf of the rest, Gallius asked Ted.
[Well, the detail is a secret, but if I have to put it in words… a transfer system?]
Ted said something vague.
The location of the "door of hors d'oeuvres" had to be kept as a secret among the Halflings otherwise they could not get hors d'oeuvre anymore.
As it was a promise made between the Halflings, Ted did not want to reveal the truth.
[So, what is this? It seems to be an assortment of various foods…]
Lydia asked Ted, seeing the various types of foods piled on inside of a strangely thin vessel of unknown material.
[Oh yeah. This is called hors d'oeuvres. Various ingredients like meat, fish and vegetables were used on this one dish. It's a meal fitting for a feast.]
As soon as he was asked the question, Ted said while laughing cheerfully.
[So, this is what you call beer. It's delicious when it's cold. A, I also bought whiskey for Gallius.]
And Ted pulled lid of brown beer glass bottle with his knife and poured it equally to each glass, and at the same time he also handed a small bottle of brown alcohol to Gallius that was around the same size as his palm.
[Now, let's eat. After all, freshly made food is the best.]
Finally, Ted distributed paper plates that he received from the owner with a white fork made of strange material and opened the transparent lid covering the dish.
Gently, the smell of freshly cooked food drifted around.
All five people swallowed their spit.
Everyone desired to eat it as soon as possible.
[Well then, it's time to eat.]
Albert said that on behalf of the party and all five people reached for the food at the same time.
[Hoho!? Isn't this the new alcohol!?]
Gallius drank a mouthful of the alcohol that Ted handed and exclaimed in surprise.
That alcohol had a strong taste and a unique scent.
The taste of the liquor was even better than the one he had before.
[For liquor, its best paired with meat!]
While thankful for the alcohol, Gallius reached for it.
Chunks of deep fried chicken meat with plenty of oil, and deep-fried food packed full with minced meat and Oranie.
He wanted to eat those two.
Every time he bit the chicken, plenty of fat-filled ginger flavoured meat juices burst from the coating inside his mouth.
The minced meat also had plenty of meat juices. Combined with the sweetness of Oranie and flavor of its fragrant coating made it irresistible.
And when the meat juice spread inside his mouth, he gulped down the alcohol.
The strong alcohol rinsed the taste from his mouth and it was delicious.
No matter how many times he tried this combination, he would never get tired of it.
[A, Gallius, for the Karaage and Minced Cutlet, it's best if you squirted the yellow fruit's juice on them. Also, it's delicious when you pour the black sauce on top of Minced Cutlet.]
[Mu…muumuu!?]
He followed Ted's advice and squirted the yellow fruit's juice… and ate.
A refreshing sour taste joined the food that was called Karaage.
The black sauce he poured on top of the deep-fried food called Minced Cutlet.
By adding those, the taste of the food elevated even further.
[It's delicious!]
Gallius drank a lot while eating the food one after another.
His movement would not stop until all the food was gone.
Sasha was eating fish all the while.
(This fish is very tasty, but what kind of fish is this?)
It was a taste that was not familiar to Sasha.
It had fat like red fish, but it smelled like white fish.
The colour was also close to pink, like a combination of red fish and white fish.
It matched well with the refreshing milky sour sauce.
(Even so… where does this fish come from…)
While eating, she was pondering of the fish's origin when she heard Ted's voice.
[Otto! Isn't this schripe {TN: shrimp}!? Hee, so schripe are not just fried or made into doria, but can also have spicy seasoning.]
(Schripe!?)
In response, Sasha reached for the same thing that Ted was eating.
Square shaped, it seemed to be wrapped in something and was deep-fried.
She brought it to her mouth with a fork.
[…!? Uwaa!? Isn't this really schripe!?]
She was surprised when she encountered the taste from back when she was still at her hometown.
What spread inside her mouth was the taste of fresh schripe with no smell.
When she chewed on it, the thick spicy sauce spread with the fragrant flavor of its shell, reminding Sasha of her hometown.
[Aa, so this is what you meant…]
She unintentionally said due to the taste.
It reminded her of her hometown and was a taste that she had never eaten ever since she left.
Sasha no longer had any intention of giving this food to anyone else.
It was elf bean.
It was carefully boiled elf beans sprinkled with salt.
(I never expect to see elf beans here.)
In her heart, Lydia was surprised by its taste but she carried on putting elf beans one by one to her mouth from the pod.
Modestly salted, it was the taste of young elf beans.
It had a fascinating wonderful harmony with the ale.
There was no alcohol at the Forest Capital and elf beans could not be obtained outside of elven settlements.
This combination was unknown to her until now and she did not think that they would fit together so much.
(If it's like this, I could eat this as much as I want…)
However if there was a problem, the amount of elf beans was not much.
The elf beans were finished as soon as possible.
(What a disappointment, this is the only dinner for today…)
After eating delicious elf beans, she did not feel like eating meat or fish.
Regrettably, she thought that she was finished eating when she heard it.
[U~n, it's miso on the Cule after all.] {TN: cucumber}
Lydia's pointed ears caught Ted's words.
(Miso?)
She heard something she had not heard before and went to check it.
Ted was chewing a stick-shaped Cule with brown paste on it.
It was an unusual sight seeing as Ted did not prefer vegetables.
(Miso, might it be…?)
Ted was rubbing a brown paste on the fresh Cule.
(It has a strong smell… but it's not too pungent…)
She carried it to her mouth after confirming that there was no meat or fish smell from the brown paste.
With a crunching sound, she chewed on the Cule.
[What's this!? It's delicious!]
Lydia said in surprise.
It's an unknown salty taste, but there was more than that.
Various vegetables were fermented, and the flavor of elf beans was blended in the strong tasting mixture.
It had strong saltiness and when combined with the pale Cule that contained plenty water, it became a feast.
Furthermore, its taste was tailored for the ale and was the best thing she ever ate even when counting her childhood at the Forest Capital.
From there, Lydia silently ate the Cule.
She must hurry. If the others noticed the taste, her share would decrease.
(Ho, this is a little sweet… Un, this sausage is delicious.)
What Albert reached out first was a pale brown food with thick skewer pierced through it.
The pig intestine sausage full of meat juice. It was wrapped in soft and slightly sweet fabric made with plenty of eggs and milk that was lightly fried in contrast of the chewy texture of the sausage.
The combination of the sausage's taste of spice and meat fat with the slightly sweet wrapping was compatible.
In addition, adding the tasty sour red sauce and spicy yellow sauce also changed the overall taste. The food was also compatible with Ted's ale.
(Un, this is delicious…)
He ate two, and then three.
The small fried food was finished in a few mouthful and some gulps of the ale.
Albert enjoyed the faint sweetness.
It was such a moment.
[A, this is rum raisin sandwich… un, it's sweet. This matches well with alcohol too.]
Albert's ears captured Ted's words.
(What, he said sweet?)
He glanced at what Ted was eating and found it.
Brown hard baked goods with white cream and dried berries sandwiched between it.
Seeing as Ted was eating it using his hands, Albert learned from it.
(O, oo! Sweet! This is sweet and delicious!)
With that taste, Albert's eyes widened in surprise.
The dried berries had sweet and bitter taste while the white cream tasted like sweet milk.
The baked sweets that sandwiched it had faint sweetness, but it also had the savoury taste of wheat that complimented the sweet taste of berries and cream.
The berries also had a complimentary alcoholic taste.
(I feel that this is even more delicious than the sweets that I ate some time ago… one more…)
Satisfied with the confectionary's taste, Albert reached for one and then two of it.
[Oo, this egg, it's superb!]
Zach first reached out for the baked eggs.
An omelet cut into bright yellow, bite-sized pieces.
It was mixed with powdered cheese, pink smoked meat and dark green vegetables. Those toppings were superb with the soft taste of eggs.
[This is… really delicious.]
While moistening his mouth with ale, Zack admired it.
Ted brought a feast that he did not know where it came from.
All five of them including Zack were hooked on the food the moment they laid their eyes on it.
(Now, next is…)
[Aa, Zack, this croquette is similar to the ones sold at the Capital! It's really delicious when eaten with ketchup.]
[O!? There's croquette!?]
Hearing those words, Zack searched for it and pierced it with his fork as soon as he found it.
Round and lightly fried croquette.
He poured the red sauce on its side and bit it.
[What is this!? It's croquette but its taste is different!?]
Zack exclaimed in surprise due to the different taste.
A piping hot croquette with sour red sauce poured on it.
A slight amount of milk was mixed in and there was smoothness that he had never tasted before.
And finally, there was cheese.
In the center of this croquette, there was melted cheese wrapped by the Baron's fruit.
[What is this!? Ted, where did you get this one!?]
Feeling amazement and joy, he gushed at Ted who was eating his food with fervor.
Zack appreciated it. That day, he met his food of the day.
All five people were very satisfied. Ted brought his advice about hors d'oeuvres.
The party was smiling peacefully.
…A little later, there was a scuffle among them.
[Oi!? Wait a moment, I only ate eggs and croquettes!?]
The first person to notice was Zack.
He enjoyed the eggs and croquettes, and when he tried to extend his hand to try other cuisine, they were almost finished.
[E!? I've only eaten fish!? Zack, you've eaten all the croquettes!?]
[What!? There were fried sausages!? Why did you eat it all!?]
[So, sorry… Gallius! You ate all the meat dishes!? Why!?]
[I’m all good now… You! Don't you dare put your hands on my Cule!]
Yes, everyone was thinking like this.
Let's eat other dishes. If they were satisfied with eating now.
As a result, when all members were satisfied to a certain extent, only one or two pieces of each food were left.
Rough air of dispute was flowing among them.
Everyone thought like this.
The food was eaten by their friends without permission.
A gap was born between five people with strong bonds.
Party dissolution.
The crisis was about to come.
[Mo~, everyone ate delicious food, so don't fight.]
Breaking the tension was the relaxed voice of the Halfling.
[You said that right… Ted?]
Albert tried to argue with Ted and noticed it.
How funny.
Ted, who was the greediest and should be the one who ate the most, didn’t join the fray.
It couldn't be.
Rather, he should make more fuss than anyone else.
Apparently the other 4 people noticed it.
All 5 of them watched Ted at the same time…
[[[[[Ted!?]]]]]
They were surprised.
[U~n. It's really delicious after all. As expected of a meal that costs 3 silver coins each.]
While nodding satisfactorily, Ted enjoyed the hors d'oeuvres.
…He bought himself a whole serving of his own.
[It's nice to be able to eat 10 types of food all at once. It might be a good idea if I bought another serving.]
As he nodded, Ted finished his plates one after another.
Ted was very satisfied with the hors d'oeuvre that was rich in variety and compatible with beer.
…Not aware that the gazes of his party members were getting colder and colder.
And when half of the hors d'oeuvre disappeared into Ted's stomach and only half of it remained, their hearts became one.
And Ted tilted his head seeing their state.
[E? Are? What's wrong everyone? Everyone has a scary face. Ee, wait!? Why are you eating my food!? You can’t! This is all mine! That's why, don't!?]
That evening, Ted's screams reverberated in the camping grounds.
By the way the menu is:
Karaage Mini Minced Cutlet Grilled salmon with mayonnaise Ebi Chili spring roll Assorted edamame Morokyu (Cucumber stick with miso paste) Mini corn dog Raisin butter sandwich Spinach and ham cheese omelet Deep fried potato with cheese