Swally and the Ants
Part 1, First 1000 Words
(1)
With the likes of Big G and Dash, what they could accomplish together was already enough to leave most people speechless... Then there was Swally.
The things Swally did by himself were more amazing than anything three hundred random people combined were capable of doing. So what happened when you added Big G to the mix? And then added Dash?
Fate just had to throw the three of them together. What could be done?
(2)
It wasn't like Big G and Dash were poor every day, all the time. Occasionally, there would be times when they weren't poor. The thing was, no one knew when they were going to be poor, and there certainly wasn't anyone who knew where their money came from.
They themselves were not even sure.
Their money always came unexpectedly, they themselves even thought it was a little absurd at times. This could also be due to the fact that their spending habits were even more absurd.
Fall was approaching. The trees in the back garden of Prosperity Villa were suddenly full of big, juicy pears. If you picked them all it was enough to fill dozens of baskets. If you sold them all, it would be about 20 to 30 silver taels worth.
The pears grew on the trees all by themselves. People would ask about the price, and then pick them all by themselves. During the whole process, they didn't have to lift a finger.
This money more or less just fell from the sky. Of course this was a reason to celebrate. To celebrate, obviously you needed to have some alcohol. If you had some alcohol, well you definitely needed some good meat as well. Dash had principles: out of nice clothes, gambling, whoring, and eating, food was the most practical expense, and also the thing he enjoyed most.
To start, he always ate lying down: sleep eating. When he got excited about eating he would even sit up to eat. If he was tired from eating, he would lie down, to continue his eating lying down.
His bed was greasier than the kitchen table. Wherever you put your hand, you could always find a piece or two of leftover meat, a few bones that could still be nibbled on.
Big G wasn't necessarily a clean person, but he wouldn't dare to sleep on Dash's bed, he preferred the floor.
Dash was happy to have the bed to himself. This bed was not only where he slept, it was also his living room, his garden, and his table.
Even more amazing was when he drank on his bed. Lying down, he would point the bottle at his mouth and glug-glug, with one swig not a drop was spilt anywhere.
Big G was pretty impressed with this skill. He also wanted to try drinking while lying down, but he hesitated, and couldn't help but ask, "Can you really get it all down when you are already lying down?"
Dash: "Of course."
Big G: "Won't it squirt out of your nose?"
Dash: "No way, even if you were hanging upside down, it wouldn't squirt out of your nose."
Big G: "How would you know?"
Dash: "I have tried it."
Big G just laughed, "You are too lazy to even sit up, how would you have been hanging upside down?"
Dash: "If you don't believe me then why don't you try it yourself?"
So Big G hung himself upside down and pointed the bottle towards his mouth. He started to drink slowly, after just two swigs, it started to squirt out of his nose.
At this very moment, he saw Swally—he saw Swally's feet first.
Swally's feet were like most people's feet, but his boots were extraordinary.
His boots were made of calf leather, with exquisite stitching, and a decorative flower pattern. They were in no way inferior to the royal boots worn by the lords beyond the Great Wall.
This wasn't in itself strange.
The strange thing was that these boots had everything, everything except soles.
His clothes had been magnificent, very well fitted; but now, they were worn and tattered, without a single piece of the original garment intact.
Only the cap on his head was definitely a nice hat.
He wasn't very tall, but his arms and legs were quite long.
He had an elegant face, even a little feminine. Big eyes, a small mouth, with two dimples when he smiled. But when he wasn't smiling, his face suddenly become cold as ice; pallid, to the point of scaring people away.
His clothes appeared to have been a light greenish-blue, but now they were a patchy mix of red and yellow.
The yellow was naturally mud, but what about the red?
Could it be blood?
The two of them had been enjoying a nice drink at home, when suddenly a person like this came charging in. That was certainly enough to startle most people.
But Dash was practically sleeping and Big G was hanging upside down. They didn't really notice him at first.
If you had walked into a room and seen a person sleep drinking, and the other person trying to drink hanging upside down. You would probably think that you had walked into a mental institute by mistake. Even if you weren't scared away, you would at least find it a little creepy.
But this person didn't appear shocked at all. This was Swally: as if he felt that hanging upside down and drinking was quite normal, that drinking while sitting was strange.
Big G's feet were hooked around the roof beams.
With a sudden tumble through the air, Swally also hooked his feet onto the roof beams, facing Big G as if this would be the best way to carry on their conversation.
But he didn't say anything.
Big G found him amusing, he squinted his eyes making a funny face.
Swally made a funny face right back.
Big G: "How's it going."
Swally: "Good."