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Chapter 13

Men and Cats


       There was a shed for firewood in the back garden.

       It seemed to be more of a holding cell than a place to actually stack firewood. Whoever could manage to catch a thief, they would certainly lock him up in the shed.

       The shed had spiders, mice, dog and cat excrement, broken pots and bowls, and leftover coal dust... there was practically everything, everything except firewood, not even one piece.

       There was also nobody there.

       Hideous Nangong who had been tied up like a sticky rice dumpling was nowhere to be seen.

       There was only a pile of rope left on the ground.

       Big G stood there staring, he finally picked up a piece of rope to have a look. "This was cut by a knife," he said.

       Swally: "And a very sharp knife at that."

       Only a very sharp knife would leave such a precise incision on the rope.

       Forest was frowning, "Then someone must have helped him escape."

       "I never thought someone like him would actually have friends," Big G said with a smirk.

       Swally: "What if it was those two little kids?"

       Big G: "Couldn't be, they wouldn't have the nerve or the ability, also..." He suddenly laughed, "Little kids have one thing in common with women."

       Swally: "What's that?"

       Big G: "Kids aren't very loyal... they have not concept of it."

       Swally gave him a look, but Forest interrupted, "What if it was the Golden Poodle?"

       Big G: "Why would you think it was him?"

       Forest: "I didn't see the Golden Poodle that day, what if Hideous Nangong let him go, perhaps they were working together the whole time."

       Big G shook his head, "Hideous Nangong is the type of person who is capable of anything, but there is at least one thing he would never do."

       Forest: "What's that?"

       Big G: "He wouldn't keep people around to split the loot." He smiled, "If there were three bowls of rice on the table, even if he couldn't finish it all he would never share it with anyone else, he would swallow it all even if he died trying," he explained further.

       Forest: "You think that he has already killed The Rod and the Golden Poodle?"

       Big G nodded his head, "I am hungry."

       What he just said had nothing to do with what they were actually talking about, nothing at all.

       It was simply impossible to imagine a person who would suddenly say that they are hungry at a time like this.

       Forest was looking at him, his eyes were very wide. Dash and Swally were also looking at him, as if they were trying to study him, trying to figure out if he was different than other people.

       Big G just laughed, "When I mentioned three bowls of rice, I realized how hungry I was; when I mentioned eating, I realized that I haven't eaten anything all day."

       Dash: "Do you always think about anything that comes out of your mouth?"

       Big G: "Seems so."

       Dash: "If you say dog shit, will you actually think about dog shit..."

       Before he could finish speaking, Big G suddenly turned around and ran out.

       He ran towards the bathroom.

       Dash was just staring, with his eyes wide open, as is if he was in a daze.

       Swally took a long sigh, but couldn't help laughing, "This guy truly is a genius."

       "This level of genius is very rare," Forest laughed.

       Swally: "Not only rare, I'm afraid that he is the only one of his kind."

       Dash finally let out a sigh, "Good thing there is only one."

×      ×      ×

       This was also a conclusion.

       If there were more people like Big G perhaps this world would be a happier place.


       Out of all the animals, cats and dogs probably make the most intimate pets for humans. Some people like dogs, and some people think that there isn't much difference between keeping a cat or a dog.

       But they are actually very different.

       Cats are not the same as dogs, they don't like going for walks or running around wildly.

       Cats enjoy staying at home, preferably beside a nice fire.

       Cats love fish, especially fish heads.

       Cats enjoy cuddling in your bosom, they like it when you gently scratch their neck and ears.

       If you feed them on time every day, show them a lot of affection, and pet them gently, they will definitely like you, they will be your friend.

       But you should never assume that the cat only likes you, that it belongs to you alone.

       Cats are never as loyal as dogs, when you run out of fish, they will sneak off to the neighbor's house, and will have quickly made friends with someone else.

       The next time you see them, they probably won't recognize you, and they will have forgotten who you are.

       Cats obviously don't appear to be as aggressive as dogs, but they are certainly more ruthless. When they catch a mouse, even if they are hungry, they won't eat it right away.

      They always play with the mouse until it is confused and disorientated, and then devour it slowly.

       Cats have soft paws, they barely make a sound when they walk. But if you forget that they are there, those soft paws will suddenly bare their sharp claws, drawing blood with a single scratch.

       Since cats aren't like dogs, what do they resemble?

       Have you ever observed women? Have you ever seen a women eating fish? Have you ever seen a women lying with her husband and then her lover?

       Are you aware of how many men have had their faces scratched?

       Do you know why some men commit suicide? Why they go crazy?

       Then let me ask you: What does a cat resemble?

       If you were to say that cats are like women, then you would be wrong.

       Actually, cats aren't like women, it's just so happens that a lot of women act like cats.


       This cat was black, shiny and smooth, so black it glittered.

       Big G was carefully observing the cat.

       Someone who is faint from hunger certainly wouldn't be interested in studying cats. Someone who is faint from hunger, wouldn't be interested in learning about anything.

       Big G was obviously full. Just like yesterday morning, when they heard the cat ring the bell, food had already been arranged on the table.

       "This cat isn't hungry. Looks like it never goes hungry, a cat without enough food would never look like this," Big G said all of a sudden.

       Swally smiled, "You have been watching that cat all day, and that is all you learned?"

       Big G just ignored him, "If all of this furniture, all this food, and that coffin, was sent by let's call him Mr. Nice, then he has been feeding this cat, so..."

       Swally: "So what?"

       Big G: "So Mr. Nice must have a nice home, very luxurious, otherwise this cat wouldn't look so plump and healthy."

       Swally blinked, "So what of it?"

       Big G: "If I was a cat, and had such a generous master, I wouldn't leave him for anyone else."

       Swally: "So..."

       Big G: "So if we let this cat go, he will hurry back to his master."

       Swally's eyes lit up, "Then why are you still holding him?"

       Big G patted him on the neck, "Mr. Cat, Mr. Cat, if you take us to your master, I will give you a fish head every day," he smiled.

       He let go of the cat and put him outside.

       Who would have thought, with a MEOW the cat jumped right back into Big G's arms, he even stuck out his tongue and was licking his hand.

       Big G picked him up by the back of the neck and put him back down.

       The cat kept circling around him.

       Big G frowned, "Why don't you leave? Don't you miss your master? He has always been so good to you."

       Dash suddenly laughed, "Although cats can forget about you pretty easily, it is thinking clearly."

       Big G: "Thinking clearly?"

       Dash: "Since it knows that there is fish here, why would he go anywhere else?"

       Big G: "But I'm not his master, why does he always circle me?"

       Dash: "Didn't you just feed him a fish?"


       Big G nodded.

       Dash: "His master is whoever feeds it."

       Big G exhaled, "Looks like this is a female cat," he mumbled.

       "What if we were out of fish?" Forest suddenly asked.

       Dash: "Then perhaps he would go back."

       Forest smiled, "I just hope this cat knows how to get back."

×      ×      ×

       The cat definitely knew the way back.

       If he couldn't find anything to eat, no matter where it was, it would certainly find a way to get back home quickly.

×      ×      ×


       From morning till noon, there was nothing to eat, cat and people alike would all be starving by then.

       Even if Big G wanted to pick up the cat now, it wouldn't let him.

       The moment it decided to leave it scurried off.

       Big G was following behind.

       Swally was following Big G, and Forest was following Swally.

       Dash: "It's best not to follow too closely."

       Forest: "And you?"

       Dash didn't say anything, he just sighed as if he thought Forest had asked a stupid question.

       He lied down.

×      ×      ×


       On the mountainside to the left there was a large section of old graves, even during the tomb sweeping festival, rarely anyone came here; the people buried here didn't get much attention when they were alive, now that they were dead, people quickly forgot all about them.

       Poor people don't have many friends or family, not to mention poor people that are dead.

       Big G sighed emotionally every time he came here.

       But now he didn't have the time to get all emotional.

       The cat was running fast.

       The cat quickly scurried into the graveyard, and then ran out again, from far away it looked like a wisp of black smoke.

       It isn't easy for anyone to run after a cat, you have to focus all of your attention on the chase without getting distracted.

       Chasing after women is the same.

       Perhaps there isn't time to think of anything else, which is why you were chasing women in the first place.

       If you stopped to think about it, perhaps you would instantly turn back.

       There was a patch of forest beside the graveyard.

       With a little cabin in the woods.

       They were date trees, and the cabin was made from the wood of the date trees. Big G had been for a walk through these date trees before, but he hadn't noticed the cabin.

       The cabin appeared to have been built two days ago.

       The cat suddenly disappeared inside of the forest. There was wave after wave of some delicious smell coming from the cabin.

       It smelt like braised pork.

       Big G took a big whiff, I smile appeared on his face.

×      ×      ×

       The cabin had a fire with meat stewing on top.

       There was an old man crouching in front of the fire fanning the flames, and an old women was pouring sauce into the pot.

       There was also a women with long hair, crouching to the side, constantly telling them to hurry up.

       As soon as the cat scurried in, it jumped into her embrace.

       She appeared to be the owner of this cat.

       At last, Big G had found the person he was looking for. She just happened to turn her head around when Big G came running up to the front door.

       Their eyes met, both of them were shocked.

       "Sour Plum, it was you?" Big G yelled in surprise.


       The braised pork was thoroughly tender, cut into square pieces with each piece weighing at least seven ounces.

       Just the right size for Big G's mouth.

       The cat was lazily stretched out by Sour Plum's feet; what an easy going cat, it didn't need to have fish, it was ok with braised pork as well.

       Whether it's a person or a cat, they wouldn't be opposed to braised pork if they were hungry.

       After eating seven or eight pieces of meat, Big G finally sighed, "Even if I was dreaming, I never would have thought it was you."

       Sour Plum just pursed her lips and giggled.

       Big G: "Do you always act so mysteriously."

       Sour Plum hung her head, "I wanted to send the food myself, but I was worried you guys wouldn't accept it," she said smiling.

       "There really isn't any point in you sending us anything," Swally replied coldly.

       Sour Plum: "You all were such a big help, how couldn't I express my gratitude."

       Big G: "But we still can't accept all of this."

       Sour Plum: "Why?"

       Big G: "Because... because you are a women."

       Sour Plum: "Women are people too."

       Big G glanced sideways at Swally, "The way she is speaking sounds just like you," he said with a smile.

       "We wouldn't accept all of this from a man either," Swally said with a straight face.

       "Not to mention we have already ate a few of your meals, it's already a little awkward," Big G added.

       Sour Plum blinked a few times, "Then, let's just say I am just storing some of my things here."

       Dash: "Then you have to pay rent."

       Sour Plum: "I'll pay."

       Dash: "Plus a management fee."

       Sour Plum: "I will pay that as well."

       Dash: "Ten silver pieces a day."

       Sour Plum: "Fine."

       Dash: "You have to pay up front, no keeping accounts."

       Sour Plum smiled, "Is it ok if I start with paying for ten days?"

       She actually brought out one hundred pieces of silver.

       Dash didn't move, he was just staring at the large silver ingot, he seemed to be in a daze.

       They were all staring at Dash.

       They suddenly started to realize how strange Dash was, he wasn't very reasonable.

       Some well-intentioned person would give him something to drink, food to eat, a chair to sit on, and a bed to sleep on, they even fixed up his place as if it were brand new.

       But he asked for rent money and demanded they pay up front.

       This guy was certainly a living, breathing asshole.

       Big G stared at him, he was trying hard not to swear at him.

       Dash had already averted his gaze from the silver, and was staring at Sour Plum, "You're sick," he suddenly said.

       She was shocked, "Sick?"

       Dash: "Not just sick, seriously ill."

       Sour Plumed laughed, "I don't have any problems eating or sleeping, how could I be sick?"

       Dash: "Perhaps your illness is getting out of control." His face was expressionless, "You spent money buying all of these things, then took all of that effort to bring them here, and then you are perfectly willing to pay rent, if you don't have issues then why would you do all of this?"

       Big G laughed.

       He also started to think that Sour Plum had issues, some serious problems.

       She was looking around, "What if I were to say that I am doing all of this because I owe you one, would you believe me?"

       Dash looked at Big G: "Would you believe her?"

       Big G: "Nope."

       Dash: "If he doesn't believe you then I don't think you will be able to find anyone else in this world who will."

       Sour Plum exhaled, "So that's why I didn't say that."

       Big G: "What are you planning to say?"

       Sour Plum couldn't stop looking around, she was biting her lip, "If a man falls in love with a women, and wants to marry her, wouldn't he be inclined to do a lot of extraordinary things?"

       Dash: "Yes."

       A man who falls in love is indeed capable of doing anything.

       Sour Plum: "Women are the same."

       Dash: "The same? What do you mean the same?"

       Sour Plum: "If a women falls in love with a man, and wants to marry him, she would also be capable of doing some pretty incredible things."

       Her face suddenly went red, she hung her head, "I... I'm already eighteen."

       Girls who turn eighteen often have one thing on their minds.


       What young women wouldn't be thinking about love?

       It was perfectly normal.

       Big G smiled, "You don't have issues, men and women should be looking to get married when they become adults, nobody can say that's your fault." He puffed out his chest, "We still don't know who you have fallen for?"

       Swally gave him a look, "Obviously it's you," he said coldly.

       Big G smiled, "Not necessarily."

       His mouth was saying "not necessarily," but the expression on his face showed he was extremely confident.

       A man like him, even if you assembled a crowd by banging a gong, you wouldn't find a second one.

       Sour Plum was actually looking at him, but she was shaking her head, she smiled with pursed lips, "Perhaps it is you, perhaps it isn't, I can't say yet."

       Big G: "Why not?"

       Sour Plum: "Because it's not the right time."

       Big G: "When will be the right time?"

       Sour Plum's eyes were still glancing around, she lowered her head again, and "I want to make sure that he really is a good guy first, this is for life, and I need to make a careful decision."

       Big G: "Can't you tell already?"

       Sour Plum: "I... I want to wait and see."

       "You should hurry up and get a good look, someone is dying of impatience," Swally said coldly.

       Big G smiled, "That's ok, take your time, good people will always be good, the more you see the better they are."

       Sour Plum was smiling sweetly, "As soon as I know, you will be the first one I tell."

       Swally suddenly stood up, turned his head and walked away.

       Big G: "Why are you leaving? What's wrong with everyone just enjoying a nice conversation?"

       Swally: "What is there to talk about?"

       Big G: "Don't you have anything to say?"

       Swally: "I only want to say one thing." He didn't even turn around, he just kept speaking callously, "Girls these days, their skin just keeps getting thicker and thicker."

×      ×      ×

       Big G watched Swally walk out, he just shook his head, "This guy has a strange temperament, but he is a good person, Miss Sour Plum, please don't be mad at him."

       "My last name is Plum," she smiled sweetly.

       Big G: "Plum as in plum blossom"

       Sour Plum nodded, "My full name is Ronan Plum."

       Big G laughed, "Plum blossoms and orchids, you might as well start a flower store."

       Sour Plum giggled, "Not orchids, Ronan, it's a guy's name."

       Big G: "Ronan Plum, that's a strange name."

       Sour Plum: "My late father wanted me to be more like a man, he didn't want me to dilly dally about, he wanted me to do what I wanted to do, and say what I wanted to say."

       "Your honorable father must be smiling with joy in the next world," Dash suddenly said.

       Sour Plum: "Why?"

       Dash: "Because you definitely didn't disappoint him."

       Sour Plum blushed, "You... you think I act like a man?"

       Dash: "You are a women aren't you?"

       Sour Plum couldn't hold back from laughing.

       Big G was laughing too, "What you did is definitely more manly than most men, for example..." he started to talk very quietly, "like our friend Swally, sometimes he acts just like a women, he not only sounds a little feminine, he is always getting mad for no reason," he whispered.

       Sour Plum: "Do you think women often get mad for no reason?"

       Big G didn't answer, he just smiled.

       Sour Plum: "Women are the same as men, they don't get mad for no reason, it's just that men don't know the reason why."

       She smiled, "Men aren't actually as smart as they think they are," she added.

       Big G wanted to say something, but he held back.

       He decided not to argue with her, if he was going to argue with her, he at least wanted to wait until she told him who she liked.

       When that happened, he would tell her that men are at least smarter than she thinks they are.

       Then she will have to believe him.

       Big G had a big smile on his face, as if he was already imaging a glorious comeback, Sour Plum would be lying in his embrace, telling him that he is the one.

       In that moment, she won't have any doubts about who the smart one is he thought.

       Big G was smiling as if his jaw was about to drop off.

       Forest was also smiling.

       Was he thinking about the same thing?

       If a person wasn't capable of getting a little full of themselves, perhaps they could never really be considered to be a true man.

       Perhaps they wouldn't even be human.

       Perhaps that is one of the main difference between humans and animals, they can get full of themselves, but animals can't.

       "There isn't anything wrong with a man sounding a little feminine," Sour Plum suddenly said.

       Big G: "Why?"

       Sour Plum: "Those type of people aren't so wild and coarse, they are sure to be warm and gentle."

       Big G suddenly stood up and strutted outside, he quickly turned his head back and asked Dash, "Take a look, am I giving off feminine vibes?"

       Dash: "Are you a man?"

       Big G laughed, "I thought I was, but now I'm not even sure myself."


       The moon was very bright.

       A full moon was hanging above the trees.

       Swally was sitting under the tree all by himself, he was just staring blankly.

       Big G suddenly came over and sat down beside him.

       Swally frowned, he just stared at him, "What are you doing?"

       Big G: "Just want to talk."

       "What is there to talk about, why don't you go talk to your Plum girl?" Swally asked with a straight face.

       Big G scratched his chin, "It seems that you don't like her very much."

       Swally: "There is enough people who already like her, there is no point in me crowding in."

       Big G didn't say anything.

       Swally looked over at him, "You two seemed really happy talking together this afternoon."

       Big G: "Yeah."

       Swally: "Since you were so happy talking with her, what is the point of coming to find me?"

       Big G suddenly smiled, "You're jealous."

       Swally's face appeared to go a little red, "Jealous? Jealous of who?"

       Big G smiled, "You know that I have to be the one she likes, but you really like her, so..."

       Swally didn't even wait for him to finish, he just got up and walked away.

       Big G grabbed his hand but he pulled it away, he grabbed his hand again, "I came to talk to you about something important."

       Swally frowned, "Important? Has anything ever important come out of your mouth?"

       Big G: "I remember you saying there was a family close by with the surname Plum, there is a young master named 'The Rock,' his real name is Rujia."

       Swally: "I did mention that."

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