To be honest I had no idea what I was afraid of. Asha was a vampire, so childbirth would only be painful for her and not fatal. My children would be Dhamphirs, half vampires and half humans. They'll survive it too, just that they'll give their mom a little problem coming out.
So what was I afraid of exactly. I think I knew what, but I just wasn't ready to admit to myself. As far as fathers go, I've not had the best luck. My earth father had his heart broken by my cheating mother and was abusive. Yet in a twisted sense he wanted to make amends for hurting me, so he trained me to be able to fight back. And one day, I fought back a little to hard and brought his painful existence to an end.
It was weird, but I hated him, just as much as I loved him. And that was a lot. But I resented almost all of my 28 years living on earth. I hated that he was not strong enough to go above the pain and live for me, to understand that he didn't have only my mother to love, but also me, his son. But that chapter of my life was closed with a whole lot of regrets.
And then I was born on Shearath. I never knew my mother, apparently she was an elf hostage that my father took advantage of. She didn't hesitate or even look back the moment she got her freedom, and she left. I didn't see her until the day I was turned into a vampire, as the warden of the transport prison which brought me here to the pit.
But beyond that my father on Shearath was far from being described as loving or caring. He was strict, and related to me with different degrees of expectations, growing up like that was really difficult. And it wasn't until I was seven, when the memories of my life on earth came rushing back, that I was able to live above such a painful life. Unfortunately he died three months after, leaving me alone, just like my first father did.
And because of all those experiences I was afraid, I was scared that I would be just like them. That I would abandon my children when they need me the most. I was afraid that I wouldn't be good enough, that whatever love I feel for them, wouldn't be enough to offset the lives worth of darkness and daddy issues I have tightly entwined with my soul. I'm going to fail, and it scared me.
[Listen here! Kael, I don't care if you're afraid or not, or if you want to go hide behind your mommy's skirt! But if you don't get your ass down here, I'm going.to.cut.it.off! Argggggggh!]
Safe to say my legs moved on their own. One of the disadvantages of being bonded to someone lies in the fact that once your emotional distress are strong enough, heck even if it's not. The person you're bonded to would feel it, and let's not forget the telepathy. All this leads up to the very startling fact that Asha knows I was being cowardly at the moment.
And forgive me for saying this, but currently, I was more afraid of an Asha in labor rather than fatherhood as a whole. I had this feeling that as she was right now, she could cause even more damage than normal.
I made into the palace, and made my way towards the eastern tower. the palace had four towers placed on the four cardinal directions, with each tower having a specific purpose. The eastern tower was an infirmary or a highly sophisticated hospital thanks Malek and his inventions. I knew Asha was there, plus our bond was like a beacon of a GPS tracker, I could find her anywhere she goes.
I was moving fast, but it seems as if the corridors got longer and stairs increased. I was tempted to just pull my sword out and completely decimate the parts of the palace standing between me and Asha. And then suddenly I found myself in front of a door, with people I recognized standing there. I blinked in surprise, because I couldn't imagine how I could've just suddenly appeared here like that.
[Don't worry master! You can thank me later, now go, go!]
Nefisat's avatar showed up right beside me as she pointed at the door in front of me. I gave her a quick bow and burst into the room, my heart still very much stuck in my throat. However as soon as I came in, I heard...….
"Waaaaah! Waaaaaah!"
Two sets of very young, yet powerful lungs let out sails as the announced their arrival to the world. The sky seemed to rumble as lightening, thunder, wind, rain, and snow suddenly showed up outside the window. This was freakishly weird, we're underground, so it should not be possible for there to be any sort of weather change. But it was there alright.
And then I saw them, held tightly within Xaseah and Asha's arms, swaddled in pink and blue blankets. A boy and a girl, my children, my kids. I'm a dad, Fuck! This feels weird, was I crying? I'm definitely not crying right?
"You're late!" Asha said to me with her eyebrows narrowed.
I gave her a smile, took a step forward, and then fell face down to the ground the whole world rapidly turning black as the sweet release of unconsciousness grabbed me. Shit! Now there would be a story to tell twenty of fifteen years in the future. I'm sure neither Asha nor Xaseah would shy away from telling our children that the day they were born, their father fainted.