CHAPTER 3 (Part I): Waiting.
Li Ming Xing carefully put on the best dress she owned. But she went for a no-make-up look.
After ten whole years, she was going to meet all of her old friends. Her phone started ringing and she answered it. “Ming Xing,” she heard Xiao Xi’s excited voice coming from the phone. “Where are you?”
“I’m getting ready. I’ll be coming directly from the office,” she assured Xiao Xi.
“Wear something pretty, you know. I want my best woman to look the most beautiful, but not more than me!” warned Xiao Xi.
Ming Xing laughed at Xiao Xi’s silliness. “Okay, okay! Now, if you end this call I’ll be able to finish getting ready.”
“Okay, see you!”
Ming Xing ended the call. She stared at the front camera of her phone and then looked at the screen. The camera was like a substitute to a mirror. On one ear she had on hoops and on the other she had a small diamond stud shaped like a star.
She decided to go for the stud and removed the hoop. She was wearing a simple golden gossamer gown. She applied a little lip gloss and put on a simple chain around her neck.
She opened the door of her office, ready to leave, when she saw Mo Wen Ru standing outside as if he was about to knock on her door.
“Oh, Mo Wen Ru!” she exclaimed, taken aback. “What’s wrong?”
Mo Wen Ru seemed to be in a stupor, as he took in her appearance. “Uh, nothing,” he said a bit too quickly. “You’re going somewhere? A date?”
She frowned. “No. It’s my friend’s wedding.”
He seemed a bit relieved. “Then I hope you wouldn’t mind if I stall you for a while?”
“But why?”
“I want to thank you for the other day when you helped me out.”
“There’s no need for that! It was just a small thing!”
“Oh please! Don’t refuse! At least, let me treat you to a cup of coffee?”
Ming Xing hesitated. But she knew that she would come off as rude and unreasonable. So she said, “Um, okay!”
So she found herself sitting uncomfortably in the Coffee Shop right opposite to the Office Building. He’d ordered a latte for her and a Cappuccino for himself, as if showing that he remembered her preferences. But little did he know that remembering what Coffee someone likes isn’t an indicator of how much they cared for each other.
It’s the feeling that goes behind the remembrance.
The memory of Egg Noodles that she shared with Han Xue Zhao was poignant because it was something that they both shared. The coffee here is more like an individual. There’s no feeling of belonging to it. And besides, coffee always tastes bitter, no matter what form you take it in.
She silently stirred the coffee in front of her as Mo Wen Ru sat opposite her talking on his phone. Suddenly, her own phone pinged. She checked the message.
From: Unknown Number
Sub: —
When are you coming down?
She frowned. The she realized who the possible sender could be. She quickly typed an answer.
From: Li Ming Xing
Sub: Re: —
I’m in the cafe opposite of the Office Building.
She waited in trepidation for his reaction. Then she got a simple message.
From: Unknown Number
Sub: Re: Re: —
I’ll be waiting for you.
She smiled. He’s always waited for her patiently and without complaints. She knew that this won’t be the last time he’ll be waiting for her. Somehow, she just knew it.
Li Ming Xing has always had a habit of visiting the temple in the morning. She wasn’t overtly religious, but she was still a believer.
But more than that, she’d always felt peaceful in the temple.
That day, she prayed to the gods that the annoying Han Xue Zhao wouldn’t turn up in the library. But the gods were too busy to hear her prayers. So when she’d gone to the library hoping against hope, she found him sitting right on the bench that’s the closest to her desk.
Actually, when she’d seen his Royal Challenger Thunderbird outside the library itself, she’d known that it’s a hopeless situation for her.
As it’s a holiday today, she had decided to work for longer time. There weren’t many people either and Madam Qin was on a leave.
She ignored Xue Zhao as she went around keeping the returned books back in their places. She occasionally helped readers who were searching for a particular book.
Actually Xue Zhao didn’t do anything more than pester her to get this book or that. But it got on her nerves because she was under the impression that he’s trying to take advantage of her.
The library’s phone rang. It was Xiao Xi. “Hi Ming Xing!” she squeaked into the phone.
“Xiao Xi,” groaned Ming Xing. “I’m working right now!”
“I know, I know! But just answer my question quickly, okay?”
“Uh, okay!”
“Is Senior Brother Han Xue Zhao with you right now?”
“No.”
“Oh!” Xiao Xi sounded disappointed.
“But why are you asking?” questioned Ming Xing, suspiciously.
“It’s just that Liu Jin has been searching for him since quite a long time and hasn’t been able to find him. So he asked me to ask you whether Senior Brother Han is with you!” explained Xiao Xi.
“Well, if you put it that way, he’s in the library.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I’m in the library too!”
“But you just said that he’s not with you.”
“Well, he really isn’t with me. He’s in the library. See, did you spot the difference now?”
……
“Li Ming Xing, you’re so hateful! Because of you, my phone bill always rises,” cried Xiao Xi.
“Aw, Xiao Xi, but the fact that you’re teaming up with Senior Brother Liu is raising my Blood Pressure. So I guess we’re on even ground!”
“Ming Xing, you shameless, betraying…” Xiao Xi began her rant.
“And just a few minutes back, a certain somebody was crying about their rising phone bill!” quipped Ming Xing, drawing silence from the other end.
Xiao Xi seemed to have changed her stance from offensive to defensive, as she carefully asked, “Ming Xing, do you know why Senior Brother Han is around you nowadays you?”
“How am I to know? He probably loves to torment me! Or maybe he just has no other place to go to than the library! But again, he does have many other works to do so he possibly doesn’t have the library as his only refuge. He isn’t telling Senior Brother Liu where he’s going? Now, that’s really suspicious. But again, maybe he just wants privacy and some quiet? Or maybe…” Ming Xing started making conjectures.
“Ming Xing ah,” Xiao Xi shed tears. “This is exactly the reason why I’m afraid to call you. You totally raise my phone bill, la! Goodbye!”
“Hey, Ah Xi! Wait…” she protested. But she only got static from the other side.
Wei Xiao Xi turned to the handsome Liu Jin who was laughing beside her. Suddenly, she felt the need to defend her best friend.
“Hey, Ming Xing may have low EQ, but that doesn’t mean you should laugh at her, la!” she yelled.
Liu Jin composed himself. “I wasn’t laughing at Ming Xing. I was just imagining how hard Xue Zhao must work his ass off to convince her that he has feelings for her!”
Xiao Xi frowned. “That’s true! But are you sure that he really likes her?”
“You think I don’t know my own friend?”
“No, Senior Brother Liu! I just don’t want to create false hope in my best friend’s heart, especially because she has a very antagonistic feeling towards love.”
“Trust me, those two people are simply different. They’re like dynamites ready to explode. And when put together, only they can understand each other.”
“And I didn’t understand you.”
Liu Jin chuckled. “Have you ever seen Han Xue Zhao acting desperate?”
“Never.”
“Well, if you go to the library now, you’ll find him doing exactly that.”
“But why?”
“Because Li Ming Xing is the only person in this world who makes him desperate.”
CHAPTER 3 (Part II): Waiting.
“Earth to Ming Xing!” Mo Wen Ru called out to Ming Xing.
She looked up from her coffee, startled. She smiled weakly and quickly drank her coffee and stood up to leave.
“Hey, you’re leaving already?” he asked.
She nodded. “I’ve got to go. Someone’s waiting outside for me.”
“I’ll take you outside then.”
Ming Xing tried to decline, but Mo Wen Ru was adamant. It is evening and the sun setting behind the clouds was a beautiful sight to behold. But Ming Xing was nervous because Mo Wen Ru isn’t leaving her side.
Then the Range Rover rolled out in front of her. An ethereally handsome man wearing a dashing tuxedo gracefully stepped out of the car and walked over to her.
He looked the same like he had ten years before, though at that time he drove around on his Thunderbird. There’s something about that bike that made her feel as if Xue Zhao belonged with it. This flashy car, no doubt, is wonderful. But the image she has of Xue Zhao has been paused to that of ten years ago, and this new extremely rich man isn’t that carefree, arrogant young man.
“Han… Han Xue Zhao?” muttered Mo Wen Ru, disbelievingly.
But she didn’t care. She had eyes only for the astounding male specimen walking towards her and looking at her with a burning stare. He extended his hand to her and she took it without hesitation.
“Good day, Mr. Mo!” said Xue Zhao, before leading her to his car.
Once she got inside and he started driving, she started feeling the coldness radiating off him. He’s taken out a cigar and lit it.
The smell of burning tobacco filled the car.
Ming Xing coughed uncomfortably. “You ought to stop smoking.”
He ignored her and took a deep whiff. Annoyed, she put her hand on his arm to stop him. “You really should quit smoking,” she warned him.
“It’s easier said than done,” he replied dismissively.
“That’s just crap! Quitting isn’t hard. Deciding to quit is hard.”
“Is that how you left me ten years ago? Leaving me wasn’t hard, was it? The deciding phase — well, let me hope that I was worth your thinking hard!”
Ming Xing’s words got stuck in her throat itself. She clenched her hand and looked away.
Xue Zhao drove at full speed to god knows where. But Ming Xing was sure that this isn’t their destination. “Where are we?” she asked him, frowning.
Instead of answering, he got out of the car. She took out her phone’s GPS locator and saw that they’re on a highway in the outskirts of the city. Not a single car nor a human soul could be seen around them. There were huge fields all around and the setting sun was the only light illuminating them.
She was startled when her door suddenly opened. It was Xue Zhao.
“What happened? Why did we stop here?” she asked him, as she got out of the car and stood beside him.
He was leaning on her closed door and was staring at the setting sun with a strange intensity.
“Happy birthday, Li Ming Xing!” he whispered, softly.
Ming Xing was rooted to her spot and was staring at him transfixed. “How…” she asked, her voice trembling.
“I never forgot, Ming Xing. I’ve never forgotten, and I’ll never be able to forget,” he breathed.
His arms encircled her and trapped her on the car’s door. As the last rays of the sun fell on them, his lips found hers.
He slowly kissed her and let the exquisite moment to seep into both of them. His lips shaped hers and he could taste coffee on them. He lightly bit her lips and she gasped, easily opening the path for his tongue to explore. Slowly, the sweet and light kiss turned heated and passionate, as he gripped her waist and kissed her as though he wanted to keep her with him forever. He felt like a person lost in the sea. And she’s his life-saving float.
Ming Xing was seized with various feelings as Han Xue Zhao kissed her. But the most prominent of them was passion. She tasted cigars and him. She tentatively met his tongue with hers and stroked it lightly. She gently kissed him back. It seemed to drive him crazy, as he reiterated by kissing her even more deeply. Not one to back down either, she kissed him back just as fiercely.
Her hands roamed all over his body and finally made their way to his hair. She gasped when she ran her fingers through his hair. His hair was like strands of silk, soft and smooth. They were the same as ten years ago. As he kissed her harder, her grip on his hair increased. He pressed her entirely onto the car using his hot body and she only pulled him closer to her. He kissed her deeper and deeper, as if even if he kissed her for his entire life it wouldn’t be enough.
His lips caressed the line of her jaw and her neck. She moaned when he reached the neckline of her gown and flexed her fingers in his hair. They were both gasping for breath and he buried his head in the crook of her neck. His lips were touching her shoulders and she felt as though they were branding the sensitive skin there.
He slowly drew back and his forehead touched hers. “Why…” he gasped. “Why am I not able to forget you?”
She herself was still breathing heavily and could do nothing except stroke his soft hair. Seeing her with another man… he’d felt irrationally jealous. As if she belongs only to him and to none other. “Tell me, Ming Xing, why do I act desperate around you?”
She didn’t know what to say. “Tell me, Ming Xing, why are you still the only star in my constellation?”
He pulled her into his embrace as the last rays of the sun disappeared.
CHAPTER 3 (Part III): Waiting.
Li Ming Xing cursed Xiao Xi in her heart as she dusted the bookshelves of the library.
She was standing on a ladder trying to reach the books in the storeroom that were too high. Old books of the library were preserved in the library instead of being thrown away to make space for new and flashy copies. And since the books in the storeroom were piled in the old bookshelves to become a huge never-ending stack, she had to struggle to reach the top of the huge pile.
“What’re you doing?” asked a deep masculine voice.
Ming Xing almost slipped out of shock. When she saw the speaker, she rolled her eyes.
“Me?” she said, sarcasm dripping from her voice. “Well, I’m skydiving!”
“You have quite a sharp tongue, don’t you?”
“I don’t remember the last time I cut something with my tongue, Senior Brother Han.”
Xue Zhao chuckled. “Besides, I see that you love talking on the phone. I’ll leave behind two of my numbers to you. One is the dormitory’s and the other is the workshop’s. If you need me, you can contact me through these numbers,” he told her.
“Why will I ever need you?” she snarled.
Xue Zhao shook his head, and smiled, before writing his numbers on a piece of paper and keeping it on the desk beside her ladder. Ignoring him, she turned back to dusting the bookshelves. She found that it’s almost impossible for her to reach the books that are too high because of her medium height.
“Shall I help you?” came his supportive voice.
Ming Xing battled against her initial oath to ignore the speaker, but eventually lost. “Alright!” she said, in a defeated voice.
She started climbing down the ladder, when she suddenly stumbled. But a pair of strong and warm hands caught hold of her. She opened her eyes which she’d closed out of fright. The first thing that she saw was Han Xue Zhao’s soulful black eyes.
She suddenly felt safe in his arms. It was a feeling that she’d never experienced before.
She was also unnerved by their close proximity. They were practically breathing each other’s breath now. From up close, she could see that his face is like an ethereal God, the kind you can only imagine. Only then did she realize that she’s actually playing with fire.
He has perfect sculpted lips. And his hair… she so loved his ruffled hair. “I want to touch your hair,” she blurted out, without thinking. Then she felt like dying.
She thought that he would burst out laughing. Rather, he looked at her seriously, as he took her hand in his and slowly lifted it to his hair. She was so shocked that she was sure that this is all just a dream.
Almost as if it’s a wonder, she spread her five fingers in his hair. It was so soft that she practically convulsed from the feeling of his hair slipping through her fingers. She gently flexed her fingers on his scalp. Her heart pounded in her chest and her mouth became dry.
She blushed as she withdrew her fingers from his hair. But he caught hold of them and planted a kiss on each of her finger. She thought her fingers were burning from the sensation of his lips on the skin.
Sanity returned to her, as she whispered, “I… I can’t! I’m sorry, but I can’t, Xue Zhao.”
Her voice trembled, but she knew that this is the truth. She couldn’t imagine herself being in a committed relationship with someone. With a personality like hers, that person would probably end up in the psychiatric ward before their first anniversary celebrations!
He covered her lips with his hand. “Hush!” he stopped her. “I’ll wait for you. I’ll wait for you right here. Every single day, I’ll wait for you until you accept me and come to me yourself!”
She felt lost. “Why, Xue Zhao? Why me?”
“Because, you’re the only star that fills my world with light, Ming Xing,” he tenderly whispered into her ears.
Chapter 3 (Part IV): Waiting.
Li Ming Xing and Han Xue Zhao stood outside on the steps of the Church Cathedral.
She turned her head slightly to look at him from sideways. His face’s as stony as ever. She sighed internally.
“Ming Xing, will you marry me?” he’d asked her softly, after their passionate kiss.
Her heart had pounded mercilessly in its ribcage. Her eyes had widened and she’d gasped in surprise. Looking at his hopeful expression, she’d felt nothing but dread. The memories had come flooding back.
The hospital. The blood. The heartbreak. The sadness. The guilt. It all came rushing back to her and had hit her with the force of a freight truck.
“We still can’t…” she’d whispered back to him. “We have issues, Xue Zhao. And we aren’t even ready to talk about them.”
“We can…” he’d tried to say.
“But I can’t,” she said, and there was a finality in her tone that’d made him flinch. “Maybe you’ve moved on, but I’m still living in the past, Xue Zhao.”
“Moved on? I look like I’ve moved on?” he released her from his arms and laughed acerbically. “Forget it! This was just a momentary mistake. I became blind with desire, that’s all!”
She’d felt hurt and at the same time, she was angry. Why was he making her sound like the villain, when both of them were the equally responsible for their failed relationship?
After that, they’d both silently driven to the Church. Only then did she realize that both of them never answered any phone call during the entire time they were together.
She knew that as the CEO, he has to be totally busy and that his phone is more like his wife than anything else. But he’d ignored all that as long as he was with her.
She wordlessly reapplied her smudged lipgloss, still remembering the feel of his lips on hers. Her gossamer gown was wrinkled near her waist, but it was nothing too serious.
“Let’s go in,” said Xue Zhao, and his voice was dangerously cold. She flinched when she heard it, but silently followed him inside. The Service was in progress when they’d entered, and the bride and the bridegroom were already at the altar.
The guests, who were mostly former University friends, started whispering when spotted Ming Xing walking in with Xue Zhao. Her face flaming, she avoided meeting their eyes and silently followed him as he led her to the pew in the first row.
Xiao Xi’s eyes lit up when she Ming Xing and gave her a small discreet wave. She was looking radiant in her white bridal gown. Liu Jin grinned at Xue Zhao, who’s the best man of the wedding.
Everyone in the cathedral had eyes only for the beautiful young couple who were becoming husband and wife. As Xue Zhao stared at his best friend and Xiao Xi getting married, he felt bittersweet when he remembered his own marriage proposal that has just been rejected.
No, she’s cruel. And it’s time he forgot her. He may not be able to bear the separation, but when he’d borne it the first time, he can do it this time too. He smiled and applauded as Liu Jin and Xiao Xi completed their wedding vows and sealed the deal with a kiss.
His own lips tingled when he remembered the shared kiss between him and Ming Xing just an hour ago. He closed his eyes and prayed that he’ll be able to get through this apocalypse.
The wedding banquet was thrown in an expensive hotel with Xue Zhao as the host.
Ming Xing felt like a pariah as she sat quietly in a corner with a wine glass in her hand. Why was everyone feeling so familiar and yet unfamiliar to her? As though ten years of separation can even change what people meant to each other? As though ten years of separation can negate all the happy memories that people have shared before?
What she didn’t know was that she’s in the eye of the storm.
Rumours spread like wildfire that Ming Xing and Xue Zhao, the former University sweet-hearts are back with each other. And quickly these talks outshined even the reason for everyone’s attendance, the wedding.
Xiao Xi saw her best friend sitting like a loner and walked over to her. “Hey, what’s wrong?” she asked.
“Nothing,” immediately Ming Xing replied, forcing a bright smile. “I was just thinking whether my red packet is good enough or not! And by the way, where have you guys planned to go for your honeymoon? An exotic island or adventurous trip? Knowing Senior Brother Liu’s personality, it must be an adventurous trip, la!”
“Huh!” sighed Xiao Xi. “I don’t know. Liu Jin has a lot of work to do. His company, I mean his and Senior Brother Han’s company, has been planning some acquisitions since a long time and they’re working on it. But since Senior Brother Han insisted that we go on a honeymoon, Liu Jin has decided to take a break. He’s planned out everything and is keeping it secret from me!”
Ming Xing fell silent. He has so much work to do, and yet he’s always with her. Her hold on the wine glass tightened and she closed her eyes and she gulped the wine.
“By the way, are you and Senior Brother Han…” asked Xiao Xi hesitatingly.
“No, there’s nothing between us,” clarified Ming Xing.
“But I saw that both of you arrived together! The last time you told me that you would be coming here in a taxi, I just didn’t know that Senior Brother Han is the taxi driver.”
Ming Xing cringed, mortified. “No, la! It was a last minute change. Besides, we’re just friends now!”
Xiao Xi smiled sadly. “Ming Xing, it’s impossible for people like you two, who loved each other so passionately, to remain as just friends!”
Ming Xing looked away, without saying anything.
Ming Xing walked over to the wine bar to refill her glass, when she was accosted by Class Leader Jing, who was one of her many old classmates.
“Hey, Ming Xing! Long time no see!” he called out to her.
She flinched, as she nervously responded. “Um, yeah, Class Leader Jing! It’s a pleasure meeting you here!”
“Why don’t you join us?” he asked her, even as he caught hold of her hand and dragged her over to the largest group of the banquet, which also included the bridegroom, Liu Jin, and Xue Zhao.
“Look who I have here?” announced Class Leader Jing, proudly. “Our missing princess, Li Ming Xing!”
Class Leader Jing, can you please stop slaughtering me like this? Ming Xing nervously smiled and raised her hand as a greeting. She was usually confident around others. But somehow, she’d always felt as if she’d wronged these people ten years ago by leaving them without prior intimation.
She never regretted what she’d done all those years ago. But that didn’t mean she doesn’t feel guilty. Guilt and remorse were two different things, mutually exclusive. And what she felt was only guilt. Guilt that she left behind people who cared that she isn’t there here anymore.
And that’s why she found it difficult to maintain eye contact with any of them.
“Ah, Ming Xing, you’re back!” exclaimed An Gao Ye, her fake smile too bright to behold.
Ming Xing felt a stab of jealousy when she stared at her. An Gao Ye has become even more stunning in these ten years. She was in the same year as Xue Zhao and was also in his faculty itself. It’s a well-known fact that she’d tried many a times to ask Xue Zhao out, after all she was the campus beauty and he was the uncrowned king of all the students. But he’d always rejected her.
Well, Ming Xing thought that once she was gone, An Gao Ye must have gotten her chance. As if in affirmative, Gao Ye linked her arm with Xue Zhao, who was busy talking with Liu Jin. He didn’t push her arm away.
Ming Xing looked away. You refused him, so you have no right to feel hurt, she tried to tell herself to no avail. Her heart still resented him.
Everybody in the huge group fell silent when they witnessed this obvious display of staking claim. And indeed, Han Xue Zhao and An Gao Ye looked stunning together. Gao Ye was the eye-catching beauty that every other man wants. In comparison, Ming Xing looked a bit tired and worn-out.
“By the way,” said Gao Ye. “I heard that you were dating Mo Wen Ru! Is it true?”
“Who told you that?” asked Xiao Xi, who just joined Liu Jin. She seemed very annoyed to see Gao Ye.
“Junior Brother Jing, over here, is a huge fan of Mo Wen Ru, and he was the one who’d written an article about it in his online tabloid,” replied Gao Ye, smiling a little too brightly.
“Oh come on, Senior Gao Ye!” said Xiao Xi, rolling her eyes. “It’s a well known fact that tabloids are full of shit!”
Ming Xing sipped her wine. “Well, we were together,” she confirmed. “But it was over long ago.”
She didn’t notice that Han Xue Zhao stiffened and relaxed after he heard her words, but Gao Ye did. “No wonder you’re so eager to come back to our Senior Brother Han! Mo Wen Ru must have played you hard!” sniped Gao Ye.
Ming Xing’s grip on her glass tightened. “It was I who dumped him.”
“It must be a habit to you, isn’t it? Breaking the hearts of people who learn to love you and your difficult personality?” asked Gao Ye, sounding genuinely curious.
Ming Xing realised that Gao Ye didn’t really hate her. She just envied Ming Xing. It was this discovery that made her feel ironic at this entire setting. She was invited to witness the union of two people who love each other, but now she’s been dragged in to give explanations on a love that’s too broken to be mended.
She felt extremely tired inside, and all that she wanted to do was just close her eyes and leave all this mess behind. Sighing, she said, “What where when and how I do things is none of your business, Gao Ye!”
She excused herself and walked over to the wine bar, where she placed her empty glass, before leaving the hall. Xiao Xi tried to follow her friend, but Liu Jin stopped her.
Xue Zhao, who was standing stoically throughout the entire drama, suddenly broke into a run. The doors of the banquet hall closed behind him.
“What happened to him?” asked Xiao Xi, puzzled.
Liu Jin smiled knowingly. “This is the return of Desperate Han Xue Zhao 2.0.”