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Some issues need to be faced, because even if you don’t seek them out, they will come to bother you. Jì Chengyang was never afraid of facing the issues; he has just been waiting for the right time.

Chapter 26.1 — Right Here Waiting (1)

This story was translated with the express permission of the author for hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com. All forms of reproduction, redistribution, or reposting are not authorized. If you are not reading this from hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com, the copy is unauthorized and has been taken without consent of the translator.

Jǐ Yi had thought that the lunch she had with her team director was simply a forewarning. Never had she expected that it had actually been a Hongmen Banquet[1].

During the afternoon of the day after the Disaster Relief Fundraiser Gala, Jǐ Yi was called to the human resources department. The times she had been here were not many, only the two or three times when she was to sign her internship term contract and also her formal full-time employee contract and they needed her here in person.

When she walked in, everyone was in the middle of talking about last night's nearly 1.5 billion RMB in charitable donations and, while they were at it, also discussing the various opinions on Vanke's Wang Shi and how he would not allow employees of his company donate more than 10 RMB. Wang Shi was currently in a wretched state from all the curses and condemnation coming from the public[2].

In this relaxed atmosphere of casual conversation, her eyes sought out the person who had called her.

"Jǐ Yi?" Someone saw her standing in the doorway and beckoned at her. "Come. Your team director had originally wanted to talk to you, but something came up last minute and she's gone out. She left instructions that I should have you go through the paperwork for taking an unpaid leave of absence."

She froze in surprise, for a moment not really comprehending what she was hearing.

Two or three gazes were cast in her direction, curiosity, inquisitiveness, and also other emotions in them.

Instantaneously, the focal point shifted from Vanke's "charity scandal" over to her.

"I've filled in all the forms for you. You just need to sign each document." This person had done the procedures to process Jǐ Yi's internship term and therefore knew her. While she carried on speaking with head lowered, she handed a thin paper file over to Jǐ Yi, as well as a pen.

Confusion over this sudden news overwhelmed Jǐ Yi and left her not knowing what she should do.

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Bewilderedly, Jǐ Yi took the document folder and pen and sat down in the adjacent, unoccupied chair. Because her fingers that were gripping the pen were squeezing so hard, a slight white colour had come into their knuckles.

This was an imposed leave of absence without pay; there were no follow-up arrangements. Jǐ Yi was finally able to figure out in her mind the cause of this entire thing.

From when she decided to completely leave her family back then; to when she went for her graduate studies application interview; to, after going through seven or eight rounds of interviews and written tests, getting her internship opportunity and then beginning every day to calculate out her bus and food expenses and work out how she would save up for rent money on a regular basis; to, finally, successfully going through her internship period and being one of the two student interns who ended up staying on, this entire process had taken a full three years.

But now, without even needing any face-to-face interaction with anyone, her family members had caused all her efforts to be sent back to square one.

In that moment when she stepped out from the office, she felt somewhat as if in a trance. As her gaze fell down the corridor that extended to either side of the door, she did not know where she should go. People walked by her, some with hurried footsteps, some in groups of two or three, laughing as they talked in low voices. It was not until someone behind her stepped out and reminded her that she could go back to pack her things and then go home and have a good rest that she grasped that she needed to gather her belongings and leave this building.

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Jǐ Yi did not have a lot of personal items here, and after packing them into a small, cardboard box, she was done.

When she stepped out of that building with the box in her arms, she suddenly remembered that the day after tomorrow was Jì Chengyang's birthday. Right before she was called over to human resources, she had still been mulling over what gift she should give him that would allow him to have an especially warm and loving birthday prior to his surgery.

Four years ago, on his last birthday that they were still together, he had been in Iraq.

They had had an international, long-distance telephone call. Then, after they hung up, everything had started to turn for the worse. From that time forward, May 21 of every year had become like a knot in her heart. It seemed that every time this date drew near, some things would happen that would bring about something bad in their relationship…

Jǐ Yi's entire mind was occupied with the question of what she should do next.

At the end of this road, there was a very large bus stop. This time of day was still not the rush hour when people were going to or from work, so there was not really anyone waiting for the bus. Hugging her stuff against her, she stood beneath the seven, eight bus stop number signs and strove to calm herself.

It was okay. She was now self-supporting and self-reliant. This job was gone, but she could still find another one.

No matter what, she would never leave Jì Chengyang.

As these thoughts were going through her mind, she somehow, as if being led by a supernatural force, chose the road that she had not tread upon for a long time, the one that led back to Grandfather's home. When the emblem of five stars over the military compound's main gate came into her sight, she suddenly thought of one important thing: she did not have a pass to go in.

Jǐ Yi was deliberating over whether she should ask Jì Nuannuan for help, when a call came in first on her mobile phone.

Setting the box down by her feet, she answered the phone.

"Xixi." Jì Chengyang's voice was heard. "Where are you?"

"I'm…" She hesitated over whether she should tell him.

"You're not at the newspaper?"

Jǐ Yi was silent for several seconds, then told the truth. "Mm-hmm."

The other end of the line was surprisingly quiet as well.

And then, she heard him say, "I'm at your grandfather's house. Are you willing to come over now? We may need to have a more formal discussion about a few things today."

<>Copyright of Fanatical, hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com. Translated with the express permission of the author for hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com only

Jì Chengyang stood on the balcony of Jǐ Yi's family home, his hand holding his mobile phone, waiting for Jǐ Yi's answer.

He already knew what had happened. All this had occurred a few days earlier than he had anticipated and had disrupted his original plan. When the earthquake occurred and he was carrying those sick patients down on his back to the lawn, in that time when he discovered that he had lost his mobile phone, the entire region's telephone systems were down, and all contact with the outside world had been lost, he had already thoroughly thought things through. He had made the decision that once the disaster came to an end, he needed to completely resolve the issue of Jǐ Yi's family.

What was fortunate was that the people in his own family were very calm and open about this.

After learning about their relationship, the first thing that Elder Jì expressed was, "She's a very good girl. You cannot let her life be held up because of you."

In Jì Chengyang's field of vision, there was little boys' clothing hanging on the clothes rack on the balcony, some garments slightly bigger and some slightly smaller. Piled in a corner was a box of toys, and inside, there was a toy bicycle and an electric toy car.

Just earlier, when he was walking here, he saw that the room that had originally belonged to Jǐ Yi was now already turned into a little study.

He could still recognize in which corner of the couch he had kept her company as she watched television, had bandaged her wound that she had gotten in a fall. And on this very balcony, he had helped her make a kite. Alas, there no longer were any traces in this home that indicated she had once lived here.

Were it not necessary to wholly resolve the obstacles between them, he would not have her face all of these things.

But if she were unwilling, he would still have other ways to solve them.

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Jǐ Yi had not expected that he would also be here. Hearing his words, she was roughly able to guess what he was here to do. In her chest, her heart, which she had already lost control of earlier, now leapt even more furiously. "I'm just outside the compound's gate," she said, "but I don't have a pass to get in."

"Hand your phone into the guards' gatehouse."

Jǐ Yi passed her phone over.

On the phone, Jì Chengyang stated an internal military number and instructed the other party that he could call this number to get verification.

The soldier standing guard soon let her pass.

And so, holding that little cardboard box, Jǐ Yi stepped into the military compound. Taking a left off the main road, she strode swiftly for more than twenty minutes and then entered the military dependents' residence area. By the time she stood in front of the door of Grandfather's home, she was already covered in perspiration.

Her eyes fixed on that black door. After staring at it for two, three seconds, she pressed the doorbell.

Very shortly, the door was opened.

The person opening the door was Third Aunt. It was obvious she knew that Jǐ Yi would be coming, for she showed no unnecessary surprise, quietly instructing her to change her shoes and hurry inside. Jǐ Yi set her box down in a corner, changed into slippers, and stepped into the home, which was exceptionally quiet.

Inside the living room were Grandfather and also Grandpa Jì and Jì Chengyang.

Her remaining family members were all in either the study or other rooms, purposely avoiding the living room.

She had not expected it to be a state like this one. She addressed each successively, "Grandfather, Grandpa Jì."

And finally, her gaze fell on him. She did not utter a word, but her heart, which had been perturbed this entire time, now, because her eyes had met his, slowly quieted.

"Xixi." Third Uncle came out from the study. "Your Third Aunt wants to have a talk with you first." He quickly threw a look at Third Aunt. The latter stood up from her seat in the dining room and brought Jǐ Yi into the room that she had once lived in.

Although she did not know what everyone had already discussed prior to her arrival here, Jǐ Yi was able to guess what Third Aunt would be saying to her.

Sure enough, once she sat down on the chair in the little study, Third Aunt began telling her all the groundless gossip and rumours that had been flying around in the compound. "Your grandfather is very angry. You know some of those old aunties in the compound. When they found out about this, they all told the kids in their own families, 'That Jǐ Yi whom you’ve played with since you were kids, she and that uncle of the Jì family are now together.' Xixi, since you were a child, you've always been especially obedient and well-behaved. You were the child in the family whom we least needed to worry about. Why is it, then, that on the love and relationship side, you've been so unable to stay on the correct course?"

Jǐ Yi did not speak.

This was a task assigned to Third Aunt, and therefore her words had been thought through in advance and were very logical.

She spoke about various things, from the relationship between the two families to the difference between their generations and seniority. But most importantly, Jǐ Yi was still at such a wonderful age and her views on love and relationships still were not mature; there was no need to make her choice so early. "And what's more, Xixi, you've never had to truly suffer through any sort of hardships." Third Aunt's words were in line with the values that are prevalent in society nowadays. "Your Uncle Jì… Jì Chengyang's health is not very good. He's only just into his thirties now; there's still a long future ahead of you. We're all just making the best considerations for you. These are realities of the situation that you must know."

"I know." She finally spoke.

Third Aunt paused. She could perceive that Jǐ Yi's stance on this was basically one for which no manner of words and convincing would get through.

In the end, the topic turned in another direction; they were going to send her abroad to study. However, this, too, was turned down by a shake of Jǐ Yi's head.

The discussion ended in failure to convince her.

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Jǐ Yi walked back out from the study. When Third Aunt shook her head at Third Uncle, Jǐ Yi's grandfather also saw the action. He creased his brows together slightly, saying, "Xixi, according to all reason, Grandfather should not be in charge of you any longer. It has always been that sons and daughters should provide for and support their parents. When have parents ever had to take care of their children's children for an entire lifetime? Neither does your third uncle have any obligation to help your father watch over you indefinitely."

There was a great amount of emotion in those words.

Perhaps because she had grown up by Grandfather's side, Jǐ Yi's nose tingled slightly from hearing them, and she was not at all as composed as she had been a moment ago inside that little study. Since stepping in through the door earlier, there had been a feeling in her that she no longer had a home. Before, when she was a student and living on campus, over the weekends when she came back here, she had still had a room of her own that could shelter her from the wind and rain. Now, that place no longer existed.

In her gaze, there were still the study, bedrooms, and bathroom that were so familiar to her, and her grandfather, who still liked to wear deep-green military pants, sat on a brown chair. "Last time when your dad came here, I rebuked him and sent him away. He does not know to be filial to his father and mother, and he does not even look after his own daughter." Grandfather carried on speaking, declaring his final stance on this. "Even though your dad and mom have treated me like this, I still hold sentiments for you, and I hope that you can live a good life."

Everyone was listening to these words.

She did not know what Jì Chengyang would think. In this entire home, only he was an outsider, and these words were directly invalidating him. He, however, still sat forthrightly and composedly right there.

"I am independent already. I have a very good job, and in the future, I absolutely will not spend a single penny of any person in the family." In a soft voice, Jǐ Yi once again reiterated her thinking.

These were the harshest words she had ever spoken to the people in her family.

When she was young, here in this place, she had harboured herself from storms. Before she reached the age of majority, her family had never deprived her in any way in the aspect of financial support. It could only be said that the fated affinity between them as loved ones was simply a little too meager. She still held a heart of gratitude that Grandfather had brought her back here to raise her and care for her and had provided a good environment for her to be educated and taught.

But Jì Chengyang…

Before love had come to them, that selfless care that he had given her was not his duty.

When she was chasing after her parents' footsteps, trying to get a smile in exchange, what this man named Jì Chengyang had given her, without looking for anything in return, were protection that always sided with her and loving care. Without him, from her teenage years onwards, her life would have strayed from its course. Hence, those four years of separation and also everything that might happen hereafter were not of any importance to her.

"I don't want to go abroad to study." Jǐ Yi paused for a moment, then looked towards that spot where Jì Chengyang was sitting. "I want to marry him."

<>Copyright of Fanatical, hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com. Translated with the express permission of the author for hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com only

[1]鸿门宴 "Hongmen Yan." The Hongmen Banquet, also known as Feast at Hongmen or similar variations, is the historical banquet prepared by 项羽 Xiang Yu to, in name, entertain 刘邦 Liu Bang. In reality, though, the banquet was a scheme to kill Liu Bang. Hence, "Feast at Hong Gate" has become synonymous with a ploy that is intended to trap the guest.

[2] Vanke is a Chinese real estate development firm, and Wang Shi is its founder and chairman. After the Wenchuan Earthquake, Wang Shi on May 12 pledged 2 million RMB from Vanke to the disaster. However, on May 15, he also stated that employees of Vanke should limit their donations to no more than 10 RMB each. His explanation for this was that charitable donations should not become burdensome to people. This statement brought about widespread criticism from the public, and he later apologized for it, adding a second donation of 100 million RMB on May 20.

This story was translated with the express permission of the author for hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com. All forms of reproduction, redistribution, or reposting are not authorized. If you are not reading this from hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com, the copy is unauthorized and has been taken without consent of the translator.

Additional Comments:

The very last part of this update, here, in the living room, with Jì Chengyang and Grandfather watching her, appears so still on the surface but it is charged with an undercurrent of emotion. Xixi understands, this is it; this is the moment where she is truly severing the very last threads of ties to this family, this elder whom she had once so longed to receive love from. It must have hurt so much to state those simple sentences. She knows that her love for Jì Chengyang weighs more than the “meagre fated affinity” she has with the Jǐ family, but that doesn’t mean the feelings she once had, and probably still carries some of, never existed.

I dislike Xixi’s aunts and uncles, but for her grandfather, I cannot truly say anything. I guess, personally, I cannot comprehend not loving a child whom you raised since infanthood. However, Xixi’s parents are truly unfilial. In fact, let’s not even talk about filial piety; to their own daughter and father, they don’t even show basic respect and care that you would give friends. When Grandfather looks at Xixi, he probably transfers some of the negative thoughts he has for his son onto Xixi. But, as Xixi said, for eighteen years, he never deprived her of any basic needs or financial support. In fact, he provided her with many extra things, dance lessons, calligraphy, etc. etc, cultivating her as he would any child of the family. He just was unable to make himself love her like he did the offspring of his other “filial” children. I believe his words, “I still hold sentiments for you, and I hope that you can live a good life." In chapter 13.1, Xixi recounted how he had once comforted her and smiled at her when she had been nervous about her primary school entrance exam. Unfortunately, Xixi’s aunts and uncles, who in his eyes are the filial ones, have over and over whispered negative things about Xixi and her parents in his ear, and any familial love he might have had for Xixi has been ground away by those intentional words that were meant to put a thorn in his relationship with this granddaughter.

*sigh* Just placing my random thoughts and bit of heartache, for Xixi, for Jì Chengyang, and yes, even a little for Grandfather, right here.

Cheers.

Completed:
66 of 69 Chapter segments
0 of 1 Epilogue

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