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The secret is out. And another old friend comes out in this chapter.

Chapter 23.3 — Time’s Length (3)

This story was translated with the express permission of the author for hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com. All forms of reproduction, redistribution, or reposting are not authorized. If you are not reading this from hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com, the copy is unauthorized and has been taken without consent of the translator.

A few days after Jì Chengyang was admitted into the hospital, Jǐ Yi's internship term officially came to an end. Based on the career objective that she had filled in previously as well as an internal review and assessment, she officially became part of the integrated team in the International News and Editing Department and, like all other employees, began working according to scheduled shifts.

Morning shift was from 8:00 to 13:30, afternoon shift from 13:30 to 19:30, and evening shift from 19:30 to 24:00, with no weekends off. This was much busier than before. Due to the unique nature of the international news department, there was more work to do during the evening shift.

With this, the amount of time in which she could go see Jì Chengyang was immediately reduced.

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On this night, in the last ten minutes of her evening shift, she was still checking over an internship student's translation of a news story by a foreign news agency, which consisted of content concerning the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. The frontline journalist still had not sent in a draft write-up yet, so she could only reference and cite from the reports of several different foreign news agencies to compile a news article: … Palestinian National Authority President Mahmoud Abbas and Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert agree to re-open the peace talk process…

Her hand paused for a moment. A picture from her memory seemed to superimpose with the present.

Near the year-end of 2000, approximately eight years ago, she by chance saw him on the late-night news program: Deep in the night, in the torrential downpour, he had been wearing a black raincoat stained with muddy water. His back had been towards some ruins after a bomb attack, and facing the camera, he had been giving a live description of the site… She still very distinctly remembered, at the time, after she heard "bomb attack," she had immediately dashed up in front of the television in a fluster and carefully looked him over to see if he was hurt.

Back then, he had been on scene in the middle of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict; now, she was compiling a news story on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

As a result of this coincidence, this news story seemed to her to carry some warmth with it…

The clocks on the wall each pointed to different times: Tokyo, New York, Paris… The hands on the clock for Beijing time had already passed midnight. Shutting down her computer, she swiftly left her office. As she jogged by the staircase, several foreigner employees coincidentally were getting off work as well and were conversing about something. When Jǐ Yi passed them to go downstairs, her footsteps noticeably quickened, such that it did not seem as if she was wearily getting off work and rather that something urgent had occurred, causing these several foreigner colleagues to all cast surprised glances at her.

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The ward that Jì Chengyang was staying in was a special one, with very few people in it, and hence, it was exceptionally quiet.

Each time she finished an evening shift and came here, she needed to pass through the hushed corridor, and then after checking in with the on-duty nurse, she would be allowed to head directly into his hospital room. Today, she had not told him ahead of time that she would be coming and therefore supposed that he was likely asleep already. To her surprise, the nurse informed her that Jì Chengyang was not in his room.

"Mr. Jì said he was going out for some fresh air. He should be back soon."

From the nurse's tone, this should not be the first time he did this.

The other party saw that she was a little worried and added another sentence, saying, almost every night that she did not come, this would occur, so there was no need to be too concerned.

Hearing the nurse say this, Jǐ Yi managed with some difficulty to ease her mind somewhat.

His mobile phone had been left inside the hospital room. She leaned back into the couch, but after waiting for a lwhile, she dozed off. After an uncertain amount of time had passed, in her dreams, she felt someone within the darkness patting her and asking quietly, "Want to go onto the bed to sleep?"

"Mm." In her drifting awareness, Jǐ Yi made this sound in answer. When she sensed that she was in an embrace, though, she started awake.

She could feel that her body and legs were already encircled in his arms. Still, though, she struggled lightly, telling him in a soft voice, "I'll go over there myself…" Jì Chengyang could hear the meaning in her words, that she was afraid it would be strenuous for him to carry her.

"I'll carry you over." His voice appeared very tranquil in the dimness. "While I can still move about, I'm going to carry my girlfriend a bit more. That way, at least relatively speaking, I haven't really lost out."

Nonchalant self-mocking. But it also gave off a certain feeling that made a person's heart twinge.

Worried that his mood was low, Jǐ Yi did not say anything more. She felt weightless for a moment, and then he had already lifted her into his arms. Her face against the crook of his neck, she silently counted each step, praying that the distance could shrink if only even a little bit. When her frame was finally lowered onto the bed, her heart, which had been in her throat, could finally settle back down. "Where'd you go? You went out so late."

"Couldn't sleep, so I just went walking around."

"You're not in a very good mood?" She removed her shoes.

"Habitual insomnia," he stated simply.

This hospital room always contained an additional bed for those who were staying to take care of the patient, and this was not her first time sleeping here, either. However, she had not anticipated that after she had only just pulled over a pillow, Jì Chengyang would also lay himself on his side onto her bed, too. Though this was an extrwide bed, the two of them were still very cramped on it. Jǐ Yi was quiet. Nestingly herself against his chest, she felt for his hand. A little cool. The temperature was a result of just returning from outside.

"Earlier, when I was writing up a news brief on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, I thought of something." Her forehead was resting in a position against his shoulder as she softly uttered, "Do you still remember that you went to the Middle East?"

He thought back in his mind briefly. "I have gone a few times."

"The first time I saw you on TV was when you were in Palestine. It was in 2000, if I remember correctly…"

"2000's bombing attack site?" Jì Chengyang's memory was incredible.

"Mm-hmm…" She muttered, "Such a good memory."

He made no remark in response to this.

What Jǐ Yi wanted to share was actually a type of feeling, but when she tried to truly use words and language to describe it, it was very difficult to do. It was not as if she could flat out convey to him that back then, she had been like a little infatuated fangirl standing in front of the television screen, flusteredly scrutinizing him to see if he was injured, and had even been so silly as to reach out her hand, wanting to touch the face of him who was in the screen.

While her emotions were heaving, he did not make a sound, either.

After some time, she thought, he should be tired and had fallen asleep.

Give him a goodnight kiss, then…

Secretly…

Slowly, she tilted her face upwards. But before she could find the target of where she wanted to kiss, she felt a soft, warm feeling pressing down on her lips. This had been one person's spur-of-the-moment action, but it was as if the two of them had discussed it beforehand. She was not certain if every person was like this when kissing, but each time he kissed her, there was a feeling in her like her soul had left her body, and all of her sensory awareness became fuzzy.

Jì Chengyang's hand glided downwards and took ahold of her waist. There, it was very slender and sunk in with an inward curve.

"That tickles." In a low voice, Jǐ Yi begged for mercy.

His body tonight was remarkably sensitive towards her and carried a desire for her that was beyond expectation. He was, after all, a thirty-one-year-old man. Even though he no longer had that type of impulsive urgency of his twenties, beside him now was nevertheless the girl he had loved for many years. This was utterly a test of his willpower.

He did not move things forward, but neither did he back away.

She was being led, and amidst his intimacy and closeness, she clumsily obliged him.

When it comes to the aspect of sex, the difference between men and women is too obvious.

Prior to experiencing sex, men are always eager to bring things into action and itching to try. Women, on the other hand, only have such longing after they have experienced it. Before that, such strong desire belongs only to men.

Her garments were all removed by his hands. The two of them were completely cloaked under the thin blanket.

Jì Chengyang was the same, concealed with her inside this space that was barely illuminated. The entire room's light was shut out by this single, thin, cotton blanket. Bringing his head down, he gently rubbed the tip of his nose against her bosom. This time, he truly did slowly look her over, from the outline of her breasts, to her abdomen, which was curved in slightly because she was lying flat on her back, to her tiny waist. Jǐ Yi's breathing was hurried and she wanted to protest, but his leg was already pressing down on top of her legs.

His voice husky, he cajoled her, "Be good. Let me see."

Let me see.

Such a forthright request.

Using the pads of his fingers, Jì Chengyang felt that most secret place of her body. He was no longer relying solely on senses that were muddled and bewitched with love and desire, eager to break through that last line of defense. He completely relaxed all of himself so that he could sense that unique enticing ability from her that came as a result of being at the boundary of girl and woman, and those legs that were soft, moist, quivering, and incessantly trying, because of his touches, to close together.

Such caresses, such reactions—he was basically testing himself as well.

He had no choice but to use his teeth to over and over tantalize her breasts and distract himself from his thirst for what lay beneath his palm. Jǐ Yi was in a dazed state from his actions. Her entire body felt so burning hot it was as if it did not belong to her.

Like a fish that could not escape from water, she, too, could not escape from Jì Chengyang.

Jì Chengyang could hear the increasingly heavy pounding sound in his chest, and his breathing was also becoming heavier and heavier. Bringing his chin upwards and setting it in the hollow of her shoulder, he called out her name in a low, hoarse voice. Jǐ Yi had enfolded all of herself around his waist, her heartbeat so rapid she felt as if she was going to die.

"Xixi…" His lips were right against her ear. "I love you."

He completely entered her. Jǐ Yi arched her body painfully, letting out a short, muffled moan. Jì Chengyang, however, dared not move anymore. For a very long time, he simply held her in his arms, slowly tightening her in his embrace. With his palms, he continually stroked her back and her bosom, letting her adjust to his presence. There was perspiration on Jǐ Yi's face. Only when she sensed his kisses on her eyes did she at last, with great difficulty, force her eyes open and look rather dazedly at him.

Moisture glistened in her eyes.

Jì Chengyang's mind was greatly jolted.

What sort of love and stirring of the heart would cause two people to offer up their entire life as a promise?

And how deep would the love have to be for her to never refuse him, to fully trust him, to once again forgive him, and to wholly hand herself, body and heart, over to him? …

In that quiet, narrow space, other than the sound of one another's breathing, there was nothing else. He gazed at her as she clamped down tightly on her lip with her teeth. Whether it was for the intial pain, or the numbness that came later, or even, in the end, those peculiar feelings that were too embarrassing to speak about and were unrelentingly surging over her, she was too shy to let herself moan. Her body merely, with all its might, drew close, close to him who was bringing both these sufferings and desires to her.

Jì Chengyang was beguiled by this expression of hers. Sinking himself into the layer upon layer of unfamiliar, yet warm sheathing, he continuously thrust himself into the deepest reaches of her body. What he saw was her, and what he felt was also her.

In his eyes, beneath his body, within the depths of his heart, and in his life—every part of everything only had her.

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In her memory, that image when she awoke early the next morning was like a freeze-frame in her life. Regardless of how many years had passed, when she thought back on it, it was still as clear as if she was there in person.

Opening her eyes, she quietly gazed at him. Then, she reached her hand over to touch his stubble that had grown overnight.

Jǐ Yi shifted slightly. There was an achy soreness to her whole body, but it was not intense. Actually, by their second time last night, the pain had already not been that strong. Jì Chengyang had awoken also, and with his eyes still closed, he searched for her face with his lips. After finding those soft, little lips that he wanted to kiss, he took them lightly into his mouth, muffledly asking, "Does it still hurt?"

Jǐ Yi gave an "mm-hmm." Sensing that there was starting again to… Immediately, she dodged away. "No more right now. No more…"

She fled from there. Crawling flusteredly from the bed, she grabbed the clothing littering the couch and floor, ran into the bathroom, and hastily shut the frosted glass door. Only then did she face the mirror beside the sink and look herself over, gasping as the colour in her face deepened more and more.

This was a hospital.

Even though it was a private VIP room, it still was some place outside of home.

In such a location, the two of them…

As she showered, her hand moved along her body, washing away the white soapsuds. There were faint, purplish-red marks on her body, including her chest and thighs. Simply seeing those was enough to cause her to remember last night, to the extent that she dared not step outside. Her whole shower process was extremely slow, so slow that Jì Chengyang knocked on the door and asked her what was wrong.

It was only then that she finally dawdlingly slipped on her garments, dried her hair with the towel, and stepped out.

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Through the entire daytime while she was by his side, she felt exceptionally shy and bashful.

Any single action or look exchanged between the two of them would cause her heart to instantly grow soft. In fact, it was the same for Jì Chengyang as well; he merely did not show it as obviously as Jǐ Yi did. However, he also very consciously paid more attention to her and her each and every movement, how she wrinkled her brow, how she smiled, how she lowered her head. All of these were so rich with expression and stirred his heart and soul.

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On Friday, Jì Chengyang had a PET scan, as had been previously scheduled.

Because the results of his medical examinations all along had not been very good, the discussions, after referring to his medical history, of several specialists together had come to the verdict that they suspected the risk of lymphoma in him. Consequently, the doctors had recommended that he do a PET scan to determine if any tumours existed in other parts of his body so as to avoid making any errors in judgment.

Now, the results were out. She did not even know whether it could be considered good news or not.

He needed to undergo surgery to remove his spleen.

Faced with this surgery recommendation, Jì Chengyang actually showed unperturbed acceptance. Even that good friend of Jì Chengyang joined in to comfort Jǐ Yi. "You know, removing the spleen isn't that scary. I've seen lots of patients who fell several storeys or were in a gang fight or something and their spleen ruptured. They all had to have their spleen removed. See? Life is just that unpredictable…"

But no matter how light and relaxed that doctor's tone was when he spoke about this, Jǐ Yi did not feel light and relaxed at all.

When there was no one else in that hospital room, she leaned against the side of the bed and brought her cheek beside his wrist, her heart aching. The more she thought about it, the more a dull ache filled her heart. Turning her face to the front again, she looked down at that scar on his wrist.

After staring at it for a few seconds, her heart again could not bear it anymore. She pressed her cheek onto it and, like a kitten, brought her whole body close to him, as if in this way she could share some of his pain.

In the sun's rays, she could feel Jì Chengyang stroking her hair with his hand.

"Didn't the doctor say you can leave the hospital for a while before the surgery? Let's go home and stay there for a few days."

Jì Chengyang did not speak and, rather, gave a pat to the back of her head.

Somewhat bewildered, Jǐ Yi lifted her head. Her gaze took in the several additional people who were at the doorway of the room already. Jǐ Yi hurriedly sprung up from the bedside chair, but because she had risen too quickly, she ended up knocking the chair over.

It gave off a huge bang. In that quiet room, the sound appeared particularly strident.

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Nuannuan's parents looked at one another. Swiftly, yet calmly, they carried out an exchange with their eyes about this shocking situation. Jì Chengyang, on the other hand, showed no embarrassment or surprise at being walked in on and found out. Getting off the bed, he remarked, " When Second Sister-In-Law called earlier, I already said that you guys did not need to come."

The look on the face of Nuannuan's father was extremely serious, and he appeared still to be contemplating over what chain of effects this situation would produce.

Nuannuan's mother had already recovered and was quick to react, giving a pat to the back of Jì Nuannuan, who was quaking with fear even more than Jǐ Yi. "Us adults have some matters to talk about. You and Xixi go out to stroll around and shop. Don't you have to go try on some evening gowns? How about you two go together?"

Jì Nuannuan was taken aback for a moment, but she quickly realized that she needed to protect Jǐ Yi. Immediately, acting as if nothing had happened, she slipped her arm through Jǐ Yi's, and then after hurriedly saying goodbye to her parents, they left this "scene of the crime" where the "affair" had been happened upon.

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By the time they sat into a taxi, Jì Nuannuan had somewhat recovered a bit of her soul. In a quiet voice, she consoled Jǐ Yi, "It's okay, it's okay. You've got my mom there. She's liked you since you were a kid. When I was in the U.K., I probed her out a few times, saying, if you could marry Little Uncle, it would actually be pretty nice, and then you and I could be in the same family for the rest of our lives. Besides telling me that I was just daydreaming, she did not show any especially big reaction. This time, she's definitely going to side with you."

Despite that Nuannuan was trying hard to soothe and convince her, Jǐ Yi's heart was still a muddled mess, and she repeatedly thought back on the expressions and actions of Nuannuan's parents earlier…

He had known that they might be coming. Why didn't he warn her?

As she haphazardly thought this, she became a little vexed over her own carelessness, but more so, she felt trepidation, uncertain over what sort of outcome would arise now that people from the Jì family had found out about this.

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The two of them conversed for a while. To divert her attention, Jì Nuannuan began to tell her about this wedding of hers that had so suddenly come about. She had not expected it when one week ago, her boyfriend, who had been outside of the country, all of a sudden flew here to Beijing and proposed to her. Supposedly, apart from Grandpa Jì, everyone in the Jì family was very pleased with this ethnic Chinese man who did not know how to speak Chinese. Amid this atmosphere of a happy surprise, Jì Nuannuan had agreed to marry him, and so she began preparing for her wedding.

"Why didn't you tell me about it all this time?" Jǐ Yi looked quizzically at her.

It was such a big thing, and furthermore, it was happy news of a wedding. Based on Jì Nuannuan's personality, she should undoubtedly have told Jǐ Yi straightaway.

"I was a little dazed at the time. Now that I think about it… I still don't know whether I should get married or not." Jì Nuannuan's words were somewhat evasive. "You say, will I regret this? That I agreed to it so quickly?"

Jǐ Yi did not really comprehend.

But this "not really comprehending" was cleared up when the two arrived at the shop for custom-ordering formal wear.

She looked at that person in front of her whose facial features had not changed much but whose entire aura and bearing seemed as if he was a whole different person—Xiao Jun. He sat in the waiting area, leafing through the magazine by his hand while asking Jì Nuannuan when her wedding day was. Whether it was in his gestures, facial expressions, or speech, he seemed like a man past the age of thirty-five and weathered by the vicissitiudes of life. The only thing that gave Jǐ Yi a sense of familiarity was the patience he showed when Jì Nuannuan was expressing many opinions and complaints about the evening gowns.

Jǐ Yi remembered, in high school, she would often keep Jì Nuannuan company in the nearby rbt, eating there with her while they waited for Xiao Jun to come pick Nuannuan up.

Back then, Xiao Jun would even gripe that Jì Nuannuan sure did not know how to live her life, that it was obviously a very simple dish of black pepper beef tenderloin strips but she would spend so much money on it. And then after he was finished complaining, he would willingly go pay the bill for Nuannuan.

Later…

"Xixi, you seem…"—Xiao Jun carefully scrutinized her—"still the same as before and don't really like to talk. Is it a really strange feeling? It's been so many years where we haven't seen each other?"

"No," Jǐ Yi laughed, "it was just a bit of a surprise."

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By the shop owner's and tailor's recommendations, Jì Nuannuan selected a few ready-made gowns to try out the colours. With a rather unsettled heart, Jǐ Yi stared at the full-length mirrors that stretched, one after the other, to the floor, speculating what the results of that discussion would be and also worrying that an argument of some sort would arise between Jì Chengyang and Nuannuan's parents.

With regard to the relationship between the two families, it was not that she had never thought about it, but she had no idea at all what to do.

And it was because of this type of relationship that she wanted to bury herself away like an ostrich with its head in the sand and avoid having to face everything directly. After all, the most important thing now was Jì Chengyang's health. Everything else… seemed not all that important in comparison.

Lost in thought, she stared for a lengthy time into the mirror at the sneakers on her feet. It was not until Xiao Jun gave a light pat on the couch that she realized her mobile phone had been ringing for quite a while already. Displayed clearly on the screen was Jì Chengyang's name.

Standing, Jǐ Yi stepped over to a corner and answered the call, her voice automatically lowering slightly. "You're good now?"

"It's done." Jì Chengyang paused briefly, then changed the topic. "You said earlier that you want to go home for the weekend?"

"Mm-hmm."

"I just completed all the processes for a temporary discharge from the hospital. Come back soon. I'll be waiting for you at home."

<>Copyright of Fanatical, hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com. Translated with the express permission of the author for hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com only

This story was translated with the express permission of the author for hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com. All forms of reproduction, redistribution, or reposting are not authorized. If you are not reading this from hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com, the copy is unauthorized and has been taken without consent of the translator.

Additional Comments:

And love Nuannuan. “Jì Nuannuan was taken aback for a moment, but she quickly realized that she needed to protect Jǐ Yi.”

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