At a special interview with the general I requested him to report the story of his defeat of the king's troops and the death of the king.
"Well, yer majesty," said Flathootly, "Oi must first of all congratulate you on ascendin' the throne of the inimy. It was the shmartest bit of work Oi've seen iver since Oi lift the other wurruld."
"The troops behaved nobly," I said, "but I am all anxiety to hear how you captured the king."
"Well, thin, yer majesty, Oi kim up to him at a place called Gapthis, about 1,500 miles from here, away beyant on the wild say-shore."
"Had he a large force with him?" I asked.
"Bedad an' he had. He had a body-guard of about 5,000 wayleals, but shure, we made short work of the flyin' sojers."
"Well, tell me exactly what happened," I said.
"Troth, an' Oi will, yer majesty; shure our flyin' sailors are darlin'
fellows! We skirmished up to the inimy until we got him between us an'
the say an' thin we fell to. The bloody rascals tried to spear us, an'
did kill about a dozen or two of the bhoys, but we touched thim up lively wid our pitchforks, an' begorra they didn't loike that at all, at all.
"A wee red-faced captain called out that they were goin' to fight for their king to the last. 'How long are ye goin' to last yerself, sonny?' says Oi, an' afore the words were out of me mouth somebody laid the wee fellow out as nate as a funeral. Well, we fell upon thim front an' rear, as the sayin' is, an' be jabers, Oi killed a man wid the first blow.
"'Walk right into thim!' Oi shouted, an' there we wor, fightin' an'
slashin' an' killin' wan another as if it wor a mere matther of business. If the king's sojers flew up, why, we flew up too, an'
chased thim down ag'in. It was loike a pandemonium of fightin' cocks.
"There was a big fellow who made a slash at me wid his sword, but Oi lifted him on me fork, an' he very nicely showed me the whites of his eyes. The best part of the performance was ould Bhooly, who had himself in the middle of his body-guard, an', waving a toy sword, asked his kind friends to kill us.
"Well, to make a long shtory short, the inimy being very badly beaten, threw up their arms, an' we captured the entire lot, excipt about five hundred wayleals who flew away as fast as their heels cud carry thim."
"How did the king conduct himself when captured?" I inquired.
"He came up to me, an' bowin' very nicely, offered me his sword. He said he was glad to surrender to a brave gineral an' hoped Oi would give him the honors of war.
"'Be jabers, Oi will that,' said Oi; 'but that'll be afther we thry ye by coort-martial. But where's Mrs. Bhooly?' says Oi.
"'Does your excellency mean her late majesty?' said Bhooly; 'if so, Oi regret to say the unhappy fate which has overtaken both myself and my counthry prostrated her so much that she died.'
"'Well, thin,' said Oi, 'where's that other conspirator, Koshnili?'
"'Oi am here, your excellency,' said he, steppin' forward an' handin'
me his sword, 'an' Oi also surrender.'
"'You do well,' said Oi, 'to give up yer sword, for it saves me the throuble of takin' it from you.
"'An' now, me rascals,' Oi said, 'we're goin' to save the throuble of lookin' afther you by thryin' you by coort-martial. Let the coort be formed,' said Oi, 'an' bring forth the prisoners.' The king's sojers were disarmed, an' their wings taken off, an' were assimbled in a circle undher guard. Bhooly an' Koshnili, undher a special guard, stood in the middle of the ring.
"'Now, bhoys,' said Oi, 'fair play an' no favor. Who has got a charge agin' the prisoners?' Wid that, wan of me min stepped forward an' said that Bhooly an' Koshnili had organized resistance to a change of government an' religion, thereby blockin' the wheels of reform, an'
furthermore had conspired to murdher, an', be jabers, did murdher, her holiness the goddess, of blessed memory, who, although alive ag'in, was undoubtedly kilt.
"When Bhooly an' Koshnili heard that the goddess was alive ag'in their knees knocked together wid fear.
"'This is a terrible charge agin' ye both,' said Oi. 'Oi don't know which offince is the greatest--killin' a dacent goddess or blockin'
the wheels of reform; annyhow, the wan crime is as bad as the other.
Who supports this charge?' Oi added in thunderin' tones.
"Well, ivery sojer on the spot volunteered to give evidence as to the blockin' of the wheels of reform, but nobody saw the murdher committed.
"'Now,' said Oi, addressin' the prisoners, 'did yez murdher the goddess or did yez not? By yer sowls, tell the truth. Guilty or not guilty?'
"'Guilty,' said both prisoners.
"'Thin, by yer own mouths be ye condimned,' said Oi. 'The sintince of this coort is that ye both be beheaded on the mortal spot.'"
"I think, Flathootly," said I, "that you rather exceeded your duty in so hastily condemning the prisoners. You should have brought them to Calnogor for proper trial and execution."
"Shure, Oi knew that, but, to tell yer majesty the truth, it wudn't have added to yer credit to have ordhered the execution of Bhooly, an'
so Oi took the responsibility of the whole thing on meself. Oi made Bhooly an' Koshnili kneel down, an' a sojer tied their hands behind their backs. Then Oi ordhered a wayleal to behead thim wid their own swords. Afther some hot work the heads av both murdherers rolled on the ground."
"Why didn't you shoot them or kill them at once with your spears?"
"Oi considered it too aisy a death for thim. Oi didn't want thim to die widout knowin' they were gittin' hurt."
I forgave Flathootly his too hasty execution of the ex-king, as he had undoubtedly saved me a very disagreeable duty, and the hasty taking off of his ex-majesty prevented any demonstration in his favor.
[Illustration: I MADE BHOOLY AN' KOSHNILI KNEEL DOWN AN' A SOJER TIED THEIR HANDS BEHIND THEIR BACKS. THEN I ORDHERED A WAYLEAL TO BEHEAD THEM WID THEIR OWN SWORDS.]
To assure the people of my anxiety for a popular government, I issued a proclamation ordering a general election, to create a new Borodemy in place of the assembly whose members had disappeared, or were made prisoners of war, or were dead. In thus providing for a constitutional government, I granted the nation not only all its ancient privileges, but added new and more important measures of political liberty.
As the revenues of Atvatabar amounted to $8,000,000,000 per annum, there was no danger of myself or comrades of the _Polar King_ falling short of handsome revenues.
The re-establishment of the government, the reorganization of the army, navy, and police, together with the care of the palaces of Calnogor and Tanje and the new ritual for the Bormidophia and Egyplosis, occupied my attention for a longer period than I at first contemplated. While these things were being accomplished I gave a grand public reception and royal banquet to Captain Adams and Sir John Forbes and the officers and seamen of the ships _Mercury_ and _Aurora Borealis_, in acknowledgment of their great services to our cause. At the same time I did not forget to give our friends a more solid proof of my gratitude in the shape of a large bounty in gold.
CHAPTER LIX.
THE HISTORY CONCLUDED.
I think it is right that I should conclude the history of the conquest of Atvatabar with my being crowned king of the realm.
I at once assumed my functions as ruler of Atvatabar. I was supreme commander of the army and grand admiral of the fleet. In council with the ministers of the government appointed by the Borodemy, I caused the adoption of many beneficent laws, calculated to make my people prosperous and happy.
Hushnoly soon departed, with his retinue of twin-souls, to found a new Egyplosis on the sphere of Hilar, with Zooly-Soase as goddess. It was with great grief that I parted with these beloved friends. Hushnoly and his flock were not to be persuaded that nature herself was hostile to their esoteric practices; so, to avoid antagonism, it was best that we should part. I promised Hushnoly that, together with Lyone, I would visit his globe some time in the future and see how his colony progressed. He was an enthusiast who required a great many defeats from fortune before he could see the fatal defects of his social and religious system.
The grand sorcerer, as the pontiff of Remeliorism, or the ethics of nature, achieved a triumph in restoring Egyplosis to the reign of order, truth, justice, benevolence, and temperance. In time I hoped to see the Christian faith rule the souls of those who had so recently worshipped themselves under the guise of Harikar, the universal human soul. I was anxious to see men and women possessing that serene poise of passion that alone can sustain virile action. Lyone herself was the first to be convinced that the human soul, with its limitations, its narrowness, its impatience, its selfishness, its arrogance, its cruelty, was a very inferior deity. It was true that rare ideal joys might be purchased for a brief time under the old _regime_, but they were only purchased at an immense price, out of all proportion to the value received, and their possession produced a sickly sublimity totally unfitting the soul for the practical duties of life.
Captain Adams and Sir John Forbes, excited at my good fortune, declared themselves anxious, with my consent, to explore the further hemisphere of the interior planet, in the interests of science, discovery, commerce, and possibly conquest. They were anxious to discover the continents that lie above and beyond Atvatabar, surrounded by unknown Plutusian seas, and bear to their respective countries some signal trophies of their daring and prowess in the internal world.