金金金The next morning, Noel began making preparations to advance with her troops. Dirk had gotten permission for her, so there was no particular reason to complain, and she hummed a jolly tune as she affixed rations to her horse. Aside from Noel, only Barbas and Riglette had horses. It couldn’t be helped as they weren’t a cavalry unit, so the rest of her men had fastened their supplies to their belts. The army probably didn’t have enough supplies to convert the White Ant Bloc into a cavalry unit if it wanted to.
"Noel."
She returned the greeting with gusto, "Hello, Cynthia. Good morning! It's good that the weather's nice today."
金金金There wasn't a cloud in sight, so Noel predicted that good things would come of it, but Cynthia's expression was somehow clouded.
"Yes, but more importantly, are you really going to go?"
"Of course. It's the first step in defeating Bahar."
"Why do you have to attack such a backwater outpost? If something happens, you can't be easily reinforced. Is there any need to take such a risk?"
"Yup, I've got my reasons. I need to take that region. It's related to what'll happen next."
Cynthia's eyes opened wide, and she called out in a loud voice, "Oi, wait a minute. You can't plan on capturing the Rhine, can you? Didn't you say you were going to attack the outpost and return!?"
金金金Noel put her finger to her lips in a frantic attempt to quiet her down, for if those around her heard about it, things would likely become unbelievably difficult for her.
"Ahaha, aim high, you know. Of course, if it seems unreasonable, we'll hit them once and come right back.
"Sorry, but I don't believe that for a second. If it's you, I bet you'll just attack no matter what!"
"I won't do something that unreasonable. I won't be able to do anything if I'm dead."
金金金Noel tried to trick her, but she wouldn't be moved.
"Either way, it seems like it'd be best for me to tag along. I don't know if I can get permission, but I won't overlook any nonsense."
"That's no good. Such a large party will stand out, and take a lot of time. If we can't take it in one push, it's no good."
金金金Cynthia's troops were one thousand strong, so Noel would absolutely want her cooperation once she had taken the Rhine, but there was no need for it at the moment. The enemy would dig in if faced with a large force, and she was relying on their underestimation of her.
"But…"
From behind Cynthia, a large man with a scar spoke up, "Hm, in that case, shall I accompany you?"
金金金He was Kai, a commander of one hundred from Gemb. Lined up behind him were his men in their traditional straw hats. According to Kai, they were infantry from the most mobile branch of the army. Their defence was light, but with a quick wit, it seemed that they could be used effectively for surprise attacks.
"Sir Kai? No, it will be rather troublesome if you participate as Gemb hasn't officially joined the war yet. It could easily escalate beyond an issue of diplomacy."
"There is no need for worry. I won't publish the Gembi flag, and I won't leave any proof behind. I've more or less been given permission by the viceroy. More importantly, if I can follow Sir Noel's movements closely, the risks should be minimal."
金金金In Grohl's case, he wouldn't find it unusual for the Gembi to join in on the fighting. The rule of Gemb, though, would probably be the man who wanted most to scream at him to stop. After Noel had tilted her head, she asked for one final confirmation. If it was still okay, then there wouldn't be any problems as he would be taking self-responsibility for everything.
"Yeah, is it really okay? No matter what happens after this, you can't complain, okay."
"But of course. I wasn't able to say this earlier, but you did a splendid job as the first on the walls of Carness. This is embarrassing, but your actions sent shivers down my spine. Your fighting style can only be described as demonic. I want to see the two hammer banner in battle again."
金金金Kai bowed as he spoke, and his light infantry followed suit in a highly bizarre spectacle.
"Like I said… hey, is it really okay?"
"I don't see why not, but I don't have the authority to say anything regarding Sir Kai. All the more so if he has permission from the viceroy."
金金金Cynthia shook her head as if she was troubled.
"Then we'll go together, eh? Ah, you have your food ready right?"
"Thank you. Everyone, you have your rations, don't you!"
The light infantry responded as if to show off the ration packs attached to their belts, "Yes sir!"
金金金They all seemed to be hearty men like Kai.
"So, you don't have to worry about a thing. We will follow Sir Noel, so lead the way. You are the commander."
"Okay, I get it. Then, it's about time for us to depart. Riglette, play the marching tune. Barbas, I leave the vanguard to you."
"Understood. Everyone, follow me! Noel Corps is headin' out!!"
"Wait… why am I on bugle duty again? Even though anybody else could do it…"
"Listen up you shitty baby, hurry up and blow the fucking bugle! It's cause you ain't capable o’ nothin' else!"
"Shut up you white haired monkey! I'm starting now!"
金金金Having been provoked, Riglette signaled the advance in an unusually dismal mood, though Barbas set forth on his horse in high spirits with the five hundred of the White Ant Bloc in tow. The two hundred Coimbran soldiers were in the centre, and the rear guard was brought up by the one hundred Gembi light infantry. The total number of troops under Noel's command was eight hundred.
Seeing them depart, Noel called out to Cynthia, "Well then, I'm heading out now too."
"Take care, Noel, I mean it. We are in enemy territory, it's completely different from Coimbra. Don't let your guard down."
"Yup, I'll be careful."
"The next time we meet, our side should have advanced fairly well, too. I'm looking forward to taking Vesta together. Let's meet safely again!"
"Of course!"
金金金Noel gave a nod and a salute, which Cynthia returned. Having jumped onto her horse, Noel set forth from the Coimbran camp with great vigour, her short gallop taking her towards the mass of Coimbran scales and twin hammers.
"Sorry to keep you waiting!"
Riglette met her with with a cynical greeting, "It took you long enough. Were you that reluctant to leave?"
"Yup, she's an important friend after all."
"Yes, yes, I see."
金金金Noel grinned at Riglette's tutting.
"You're an important companion too, Riglette, so I'm sure we'll become great friends."
"Hmph, well, thank you very much, but I'll have to decline. It would be rather bothersome after all. Save your intimacy for that barbaric, white haired monkey."
"I see, that's too bad. Ah, may I borrow your bugle?"
"It's yours in the first place, so go ahead."
金金金Riglette wiped the mouthpiece and tossed it to Noel who immediately began to play a song with all of her might. There weren't any enemies in the vicinity so it wasn't particularly a problem, though she would have to be discreet after a while. The next time she would play it would be to sound the attack. Incidentally, her collection of bugle songs was her Noel Corps Assault Compilation. It was composed by Noel to be a light tune to which one's feet would move almost of their own accord. Thinking about how one day she would like to add some singing, Noel directed her horse to the front. The troops marched happily along to the rhythm in a good mood all around. Incidentally, Riglette continued to pout beside her the entire time.
Count Berotte's mansion in the Rhine."The fiend of Coimbra, was it?"
"Yes, it is a rumor among the soldiers who fled from Carness. Even I only have hearsay on the matter, so we don't know the details very well."
"How foolish,” Earl of the Rhine, Count Berotte spat with a frown, “We have already accounted for the fall of Carness. It's a shame what happened to Sir Hoslo, but he knew what his duty was. It is all so that Lord Amil can take hold of the glory of the sun. This fiend is probably some groundless Coimbran rumor!"
金金金The Rhine, stretching along the Balkes mountain range, was a land that could be easily praised, but even still, Berotte worked desperately so that the people wouldn't starve by ensuring that all of the arable land was farmed and so that trade was encouraged. He hadn't made any brilliant moves like Amil's aides Falid and Mills, but he proudly boasted that his loyalty to Bahar was in no way inferior. He had held no expectations of Amil when he first arrived, thinking he was simply a relative of the emperor; however, his expectations were betrayed in the best way. His reforms had, with fortitude and vigour, straightened out Bahar's dubious financial affairs, and he had even seen to the founding of a new trade rout. Berotte now thought that Amil was well suited to his position as viceroy. Even his predecessor had deemed him worthy, so he had no worries. If Master Amil became emperor as planned, Bahar would likely become even more wealthy as the home of the emperor. Falid or some other close associate of Amil's would likely become the new viceroy of Bahar, but that didn't matter. What mattered most was the well-being of the people of the Rhine and the people of Bahar. It was vital, and for that goal, Amil had to win the war. As the region he governed was fairly remote, Berotte didn't think that he would have to become involved in the war, but he would fight if ordered to.
"Baharan victory is at hand. Let us press onward without being distracted by groundless enemy rumors."
"But, this is oddly specific as far as rumors are concerned: a woman with a face as pale as a corpse and hair the colour of blood, flying a banner with two hammers. She has a bident releasing the flames of purgatory, and crushes men with a great war hammer… A rather frightening tale."
"You jest! If you have time to tell tall tales, go patrol the grounds! It's because of people like you that these foolish rumors get circulated!"
"M-my humblest apologies," flustered, backing down, the attendant sat back into his chair after one final glance.
金金金There were fearful rumors spreading amongst the people of the Rhine. Thinking that hearing it once was enough, he heard a frantic knocking on the door.
"What is it!?"
"C-count Berotte, it's horrible! The enemy… the Coimbran army is here!"
"What, are you saying foolish things now too? I have my reports saying that they're still making preparations at Carness. Even if they were starting their invasion, it's too early for them to get here!"
金金金More than anything, he didn't think they would send troops to some remote region like the Rhine that was at the end of the highway. He had even received a letter from Amil, having prepared the surrounding area, expecting Grohl to head straight east along the highway. The lords in the Carness region had been informed that if they could buy time, even surrender was acceptable.
"But, we've received a letter attached to a Coimbran arrow. Here!"
"It says, 'open the gates at once, and surrender. If you resist, we will have to kill every single one of you. Do not decide rashly,' does it? The traitors are mocking us!"
金金金He threw the note to the floor and stomped on it repeatedly just as another messenger ran in.
"Count Berotte, two roadside outposts have been raided by Coimbran forces! The enemy commander calls herself Noel, and flies a banner with two hammers!"
"Basically, it wasn't a false alarm, eh? Furthermore, a banner with two hammers? To think that the rumored fiend would come all the way out here!"
"But, their numbers are relatively few. The outposts were destroyed, but casualties were minimal. From the reports of those who escaped, the enemy numbers three hundred at most."
"Only three hundred? Is that correct?"
"Yes sir, though it is an approximate estimation."
"No, send scouts to find out. Thoroughly search the areas around the ruined outposts. If they seriously intend to capture the Rhine, they should send at least two thousand."
"Understood, sir! We will send patrols at once!"
金金金The outposts were only manned by no more than ten men each. As they were relatively remote, the only things they usually had to watch out for were bandits or wild animals at most. It was completely natural for them to have been destroyed by only three hundred of the enemy. The real problem was whether or not they were going to continue the invasion at that rate. The letter they had sent by arrow indicated that they intended to capture the area, but there was a chance that it was simply harassment.
金金金Well, it's most likely a feint. If we hunt them down, the tables will probably turn.
金金金Three hours later, all of the patrols had returned. After the enemy had destroyed their outposts, it seemed that they were aiming to take the Rhine. As reported, they numbered three hundred. Their leader was a mounted female officer with red hair, and they were calmly marching under a banner with two hammers.
Berotte shook with anger at the dishonour, "Do they intend to take the Rhine with only three hundred men? I don't care if she's a fiend or not, she's looking down on me!"
金金金On the off chance that the Coimbran army attacked the Rhine, he had intended to buy as much time as possible before surrendering. He too, had been allowed as much by Amil, but an enemy force of only three hundred was a different matter altogether. While there were only three hundred regular soldiers in the Rhine, around one thousand conscripts could be levied. It would likely be enough men to form a counter attack. The Baharan people hated to lose, partly because of the local colour, and partly out of pride for past military exploits. A loss to the weak soldiers of Coimbra was impossible, even if they were lead by a fiend. What decided a battle was the number of troops and their morale. No individual could overturn the numbers, even if skilled.
"What shall we do, Count? Could it be that you intend to capitulate…"
"Wait."
金金金Berotte wanted to think things through. They could surrender, but it wouldn't be reasonably acceptable to do so when faced by an enemy numbering only three hundred strong. Essentially, the war with Coimbra would end without too much trouble as a Baharan victory. At a glance, it looked like Coimbra was greatly increasing its territory, though, considering it was a trap laid out by Amil, that much was obvious. When the Coimbran army had prepared and launched its invasion of Vesta, Grohl would get a taste of hell. Amil's plan, as it stood, had prepared just for that event. One of the key points for success was that several high ranking Coimbran officials had already betrayed Grohl. As far as Berotte could tell, he had the overwhelming numbers. If that was the case, it was just the kind of engagement that he wanted. Capturing the rumored fiend would earn him renown; potentially enough that Amil would notice him. His territory would likely increase as a reward.
"Count Berotte!"
"Please be quiet. If three hundred is all they brought, all the better. If we surrendered to them, we would become a laughing stock… All right, we'll recruit the plebeians, leave behind a minimal guard, and head for the front. On one hand, we need to protect the region, but I also don't want to get us caught up in the ravages of war. I want to keep the farms from being damaged."
"Yes sir!"
"The western hill is probably the best place for an ambush. If we take the high ground it will give us an advantage. The enemy is few in number, but we must be careful. Hurry and assemble the men!"
金金金The autumn harvest was in two months, so that hill was the best place to ambush the enemy in order to avoid collateral damage. If the Coimbran army was going to invade the Rhine, they would have to take the hill in order to proceed.
"Yes sir, I will prepare for the sortie at once!"
Standing, Berotte clenched his fists and released his angry voice, "We'll let those Coimbran fools know our Baharan strength!"
金金金Once Berotte had led his thousand men to the hill, he discovered some troops relaxing below. They were flying the Coimbran scales, and the rumored twin hammer banner.
"To think they would rest so brazenly in enemy territory. Just how little do they think of us!?"
"Count Berotte, let's charge them at once! I don't see any signs of an ambush. If we strike now, we can take them out in a single blow!"
"Yes, attacking only three hundred should let us slaughter them. Okay, let's go!"
金金金Berotte drew his sword atop his horse, and swung it down to initiate the charge. His one thousand men would rush down the slope, swooping down upon the Coimbran force. It seemed that the enemy had noticed, but they didn't have the time to array themselves for battle. He wondered if they would turn and fight, or turn tail and run.
"A-an attack! A Baharan attack!"
"Don't leave a single one alive! Have no mercy on the traitors who have invaded our land!!"
金金金The archers in the rear rained arrows upon the enemy position. In the uproar, the Coimbran soldiers began a hasty retreat, throwing down their weapons, and even abandoning their Coimbran banners. Berotte sneered at the shameful showing.
"Hmph, this is the fiend's corps? Isn't this just a bunch of cowards!?"
金金金Rushing to the front with high morale, Berotte saw a female officer panicked on her horse. It seemed like she was deserting her troops, and attempting to escape alone.
"E-everyone fall back! The enemy has twice our number! I'm going first, so please buy as much time as you can!"
"Wait! You're the one the soldiers have been talking about, aren't you!? If you're a knight, you should fight like one, you bastard! Trying to leave first; have you no pride as a commander!?"
Tutting, Noel spat, "S-shut up! Who needs pride? When beaten to the chase, running is a victory! What are you doing, hurry up and defend me!!"
金金金She had no control of the troops, and the soldiers showed no signs of stopping. In the first place, there wasn't a man who would give his life for that kind of commander.
"Don't try to explain! It's a joke that a foolish woman like you is the fiend! I'll take your head soon enough!!"
"Running is a victory!"
金金金Noel began spurring her horse on to full speed. They were falling back to a small grove nearby with full force. An unbearable anger rose up in him as he thought about how they had recommended his surrender. Jeering, he ordered the pursuit, but the enemy was faster than he anticipated, and they managed to flee into the heart of the grove despite his best efforts. His subordinates were breathing hard too, as one would expect.
"Damn, just how fast can they run!? They’re like rats!"
"Haah, haah…"
"Everyone, halt the pursuit! Form up!"
金金金Berotte stopped his horse, and brought his unit to a standstill in the grove. He had thought it would have been easy to capture them as they fled, but they had overturned his expectations and escaped. They hadn't even inflicted any casualties aside from the initial volley of arrows as they had all fled in the same direction instead of scattering. It vexed him greatly, but there was a limit to how far he could chase them. His men needed to catch their breath, and reform.
"Haah, haah, C-count Berotte, what… is ever… the matter? T-the enemy is surely tired too, so we should drive them into a corner! This is Bahar!"
"That's the spirit! We'll pursue after a short rest! This is our back yard, no matter where they run, we can corner them! We've seen the true colours of their fiend. After we kill her, I'll put up her gibbeted head on a spike!"
金金金He wiped his sweat and drank from his water skin that he had brought on his horse. In the same way, his men were taking deep breaths in their attempts to regain some strength. Considering who he brought, they would be fit to continue in about five minutes. Just as he thought that, a horseman with the Baharan flag came galloping up, his face pale.
"Urgent news! A large Coimbran force is invading the Rhine! We desperately fought, but the city has fallen, its garrison wiped out!!"
"W-what?"
The horseman cried out in an unnecessarily loud voice, "The Rhine has fallen!!"
金金金Hearing him, Berotte's men burst into an uproar.
"What are you saying? We just cornered the enemy! There should be no way a large force got through! I wouldn't even dream of it!"
"But, the enemy flag is already flying over the Rhine!! Please look!!"
金金金He turned his gaze to where the messenger was pointing. A large amount of smoke was billowing up from the direction of the Rhine. It meant that the city had been razed or pillaged or had met some such fate. Confirming with his spyglass, Berotte saw that the flag over his mansion bore not the tri-sabre crest of Bahar, but the twin scales of Coimbra. It was hard to believe, but the Rhine had been captured in that short amount of time.
"J-just what happened to the city!?"
"That smoke… could it be that they've killed everyone we left behind…"
"Oi, hurry and go back! We have to get back and protect our families!"
金金金The conscripts from the Rhine were shaking as they stood. Berotte tried to calm them down, but was interrupted by the messenger.
"The enemy force that took the Rhine is coming to capture you, Count Berotte! Please flee at once! I'll let the nearby villages know!"
金金金Having said his piece, the messenger turned and rode away. The wavering men began to move riotously.
"C-can you not remain calm!? There's no way it has completely fallen!"
金金金Berotte made a weak attempt to control the men's morale, but there was no reason for any of them to be placated.
"It's fallen no matter how you look at it! They struck when we sortied! It's all your fault, Count!"
"That's right, shouldn't you just hurry up and surrender to Coimbra!? Oi, hurry and get back to the city!"
"You bastards, do you know to whom you speak!? Rather rude for mere plebeians!"
"Letting the city fall, you're a fucking retard, count or no!!"
金金金The soldier near Berotte was restrained, but he didn't have any will to listen. Already, the soldiers in the rear were dispersing. At that rate, maintaining cohesion was going to be impossible. Berotte racked his brain to search for some kind of solution.
"A-an attack! Attack!!"
金金金Following the bitter voice was a merciless rain of fire arrows. The arrows wreathed in flames penetrated the soldiers' armour, and many fell amidst the screams. Then, with what sounded like some kind of explosion, the grove was engulfed in flames.
"W-what is this!? This unnatural ring of fire! Could it be that they set up their oil in advance!?"
"No, it wasn't oil, but some kind of lump that exploded! E-either way, this is dangerous, so we should exit the grove!"
"O-okay. Everyone, hurry and fall back! If you don't get moving, you'll be swallowed by the flames!!"
金金金In a rush, bearing the heat, Berotte abandoned his horse, and tried to escape, supporting one of his subordinates with his shoulder. Stepping over the men who had burned to death as they broke the wall of flames, he dove into the blaze himself. A bursting, bubbling sound could be heard along with the echoes of screams. If he stopped, he would be swallowed by the flames. The landscape had gone from peaceful silence to a roaring blaze in an instant.
"S-shit! What heat! My lungs, f-feel like they're on fire!"
"Count Berotte, don't open your mouth! Look, w-we're almost out!"
"Aaaah! How did it come to this!?"
金金金The end seemed far too distant, though he had no memory of ever going so deep into the furnace. He wondered how many subordinates had followed him, but he had no idea.
金金金J-just what is this? I don't understand!
金金金Then, just as he was finally exiting from the mouth of the flames…
"Woah. You survived that hell fire. I thought I'd burn you all, though. I guess you only got lucky at the end, eh?"
"Y-you bastard!"
"Don't disrespect the count!"
金金金Berotte's subordinate drew his sword to kill the one standing before him. The blade, however, did not reach its target, as the man was stopped, two sharp blades thrust through him, protruding from his back. He stopped moving after only a few convulsions, red blood spilling out into the earth.
"Y-you…"
金金金Berotte was enraged, but some of the ash in the air had caught in his throat. Standing before him, with a bident in hand was Noel, after whom he had been chasing. Behind her stood soldiers brandishing their spears, bearing the twin hammer flag.
"That was a fun game of tag. You got caught in a trap and lost. I'll spare your life if you don't resist."
"M-my loss?"
"That's right. I won, you lost. That's how the old emperor Bergis did it. By luring his enemies to their deaths through his various schemes."
"T-to their deaths?"
"This time, I looked like I lost on purpose. Cause, it's human nature to try and chase something that's running, you know. Even if you notice that something's off, you'll still end up chasing anyway. One time, I almost fell off a cliff while I was hunting."
金金金Noel had been speaking with an innocent smile. Berotte carefully looked over his shoulder. His thousand men had already dwindled to about ten. They had completely lost their will to fight, and were not preparing themselves for battle. He wondered if the others had fled the grove, or if they had all become charred in it. He couldn't tell.
"M-my word."
金金金Noel had spoken of Emperor Bergis' plans. It was true that Bergis had used himself as bait as he unified the continent, favouring plans that thoroughly crushed the enemy after leading them astray. The enemies that faced him still chased even when they knew it was a trap, losing focus on everything else to try and kill the people in front of them. It was what Bergis wanted, but they couldn't resist for it was extremely difficult to pass up the temptation to destroy the enemy right away.
金金金Amil had been copying the very same plans, himself, in order to gain the reputation of the sun emperor come again. Berotte had been partially caught up in that idea too, and he suddenly felt a wave of regret for having been so foolish all this time.
"I-it was all your plan? That shameful behavior was all to lure us to the killing ground!"
"Offering to only kill a few if the enemy surrenders is a good way to anger, and draw them out. And I thought that, obviously people would get mad seeing a girl like me in command, so I sent a flying column to take the Rhine. Once we had sown confusion by letting you discover that, we implemented our fire plan. Ah, that messenger was one of my men. Obviously, there isn't a large army anywhere nearby. We didn't lay waste to the city either."
"I-it was all a trap!? This is the greatest failure of my life!"
"Yup, it was all a trap. The shit I learned at that fucking place turned out to be surprisingly useful, eh? I didn't think it would go this well," continuing on, Noel made sure to boast that it was, "Amazing, eh?" to the clearly displeased woman beside her.
金金金Berotte unconsciously reached for his sword.
"I'll offer one last time. If you surrender, I'll let you live, and I keep my promises. There are all kinds of things I'd like to talk to you about, too. I won't have many chances to speak to a big wig from Bahar, after all," and, fiddling with her bident, she finally asked, "So what's it going to be?"
金金金Surrender was unbelievable. His noble pride would not allow him to bend the knee to such a young girl. Above all, he had to kill the girl to avenge his men who had died in the fire.
"I should say the same to you, fiend of Coimbra!"
金金金He brandished his blade. Noel beat his sword aside, and in the follow through, thrust at him with the bident, piercing his throat, sending a burning sensation up through his neck. Unable to scream, Berotte could only produce a harsh wheezing.
"Then it can't be helped. I'll only be taking your head."
金金金Noel drew her bident out sideways as she spoke, bringing down a rain of fresh blood upon the forest. Noel took a break after casually stabbing the rolling head.
"Whew."
"Good work, Captain Noel. Please announce the victory! Everyone is waiting."
"Huzzah!"
金金金All the men of the White Ant Bloc were cheering.
"Okay, I got it," Noel published the head on a spear, and called out in a loud voice, "I have slain the enemy leader, Berotte!!"
"We won, it's our victory!!"
"Another great deed for Captain Noel! It's a glorious achievement! Oi, I'm going to raise a victory cry!!"
"Pops picked her well! All hail Captain Noel!"
"Hail Captain Noel! Glory to the invincible Noel Corps!"
金金金Taken in by Noel's prowess, the soldiers of the White Ant Bloc raised their swords as they gave their victory cries.
Blinking once or twice in surprise, Noel smiled from her heart after she regained her composure, "Thanks. As I thought, it's somehow fun when everyone is together. It's super dangerous, so I wonder why. How curious!"
金金金After hoisting up her twin hammer banner, she cheered in response. The falling ash seemed like rain from the sun.
Author’s Note:
Ta-dah! Ta-dah!
Ghh!
Translator's Note:
Halfway done!
Don’t ask me about that author’s note, I have no idea what it is supposed to mean. Also I feel like somebody should remind Noel that it is possible to capture the enemy even if they don’t surrender. She could just leave the interrogations to Riglette for extra information.
“Pops picked her well!” was initially “As expected of the person in whom pops, Barbas, has seen great potential!” but that just sounded awful. Nobody speaks like that in English.
Editor's Note:
How do you all feel about the dialogue tags interrupting the statements? Generally, the author puts them after the statement and makes sure they are extra redundant, so I’ve been moving them in front to try and make things feel less pointless, but recently it feels like placing them right in the middle of things is more natural. It also minimizes the total number of words read between being told something, and then retold. I suppose I could just start deleting the pointless parts entirely, but that doesn’t quite sit right with me for some reason.
But what of the editor? He still hasn’t done anything.