This post is a collaboration post I did with my friend, Alex. Instead of always talking about my own opinions from my own perspectives, I thought it would be interesting asking someone else. In the past, Alex and I would have very meaningful and deep conversations over coffee. Although he currently resides in Thailand, the internet has made it easy for us to stay in touch. I really like his answers, and hope you will as well.
Me: Alex, I want to write a post in regards to confidence because I think it is so crucial if you want to succeed in anything. Tell me, what does confidence mean to you?
Alex: I think confidence is being fully comfortable with yourself as a person. Being comfortable with all of your flaws and insecurities and not being afraid to show them. Caring less about what others think and doing what makes you happy instead.
Me: How would you define it?
Alex: Being 100% your true self and not being afraid to express it wherever you are.
Me: I like that!! Everyone’s definition is probably different. To me, confidence is knowing that you’re capable of succeeding if you put in the work. Was there a person who has contributed to your confidence? If so, what did that person do or say to build up your self-esteem and feeling of self-worth?
Alex: One of my good friends living in Korea. He has this never-ending drive to improve himself and I just really admired his determination. Whether it was mastering Korean, starting a business or getting a better job, he made it happen. No matter what. Seeing his drive for being the best motivated me to be the best I could be as well.
Me: Okay, what about the other way around? Is there anyone who has made you feel less confident about yourself? If so, what did that person do or say to bring you down and cause you to doubt yourself?
Alex: Honestly, I'd have to say, my parents. I love them with all my heart, but growing up in a traditional Chinese family can be tough on your self-esteem. It can be hard living up to the high expectations Chinese culture places on you. No matter what I did, it wasn't good enough. Whether it was my appearance, grades or my work ethic, it could always be better. While I understand they were using it as a way to motivate me, it definitely made me doubt myself. It's taken a lot of time and work to build up my self-esteem and confidence again.
Me: I know exactly what you mean, because my parents are also very traditional. My parents only see my flaws and often tries to use negative reinforcement. Sigh. But I think you’re rather confident, wouldn’t you say? At least, you seem quite confident the past ten years!!! Haha, is it situational?
Alex: I'd say overall I'm much more confident now than when I was younger. I care less about what others think and focus on what makes me happy instead. However, I still am more confident in certain situations. For example, I’m better at talking to people one on one instead of big groups, so that’s something I need to work on.
Me: What is one specific thing you do that helps you like yourself and your life?
Alex: One thing I've been doing lately is called the "three daily gratitude's" exercise. I learned it from The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor. Every morning, I'll pick three different things I'm grateful for in my life. It can be something as simple as having a comfortable bed to sleep in or as deep as being alive today. It has really helped me appreciate all the things I have in my life and not to take any of them for granted.
Me: That’s a great idea! Oftentimes, we can easily think of things to be unhappy about. It is so much harder to find things to be happy about. We all need to learn to be more grateful for what we have. It will make us happier individuals.
Just out of curiosity, what is one specific thing you do that undermines your self-worth and causes you to not like yourself or your life?
Alex: When I start comparing myself to others. But once I catch myself doing that, I'll stop myself and focus on all the great things that I have instead.
Me: It’s so bad to compare yourself with others. We don’t all run at the same pace. Instead of comparing, we should try to better ourselves. What's the best advice someone gave you about how to feel and act more confident?
Alex: I’m going to say, Bruce Lee’s quote "Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it." Be yourself!!
Me: Okay, last question. What's your advice to someone who wants to boost their self-esteem?
Alex: Be grateful. Don't compare yourself to others. Surround yourself with positive and supportive people. Always be your best self each and every day. Take it one step at a time. And if you fail, pick yourself back up and try again. Only by failing over and over again can you learn how to succeed.
Me: Thank you for taking the time to answer all these questions, Alex. I really like your answers. Talk to you soon.
Alex: You’re welcome. Thanks. I answered them as honestly as I could.
I hope you guys like this “mini interview”. Haha. Alex is a copywriter and he is able to help you get more leads or sales. Basically, he uses words to grab your targeted audiences’ attention. He’s actually very good, so I highly recommend you to check him out.
<– If he sucks, I wouldn’t be promoting him on my blog. LOL ❤
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