BUN. With occasional intervals for rest and refreshment, as long as I do.
PATIENCE Oh, Reginald, I'm so happy! Oh, dear, dear Reginald, I cannot express the joy I feel at this change. It will no longer be a duty to love you, but a pleasure -- a rapture -- an ecstasy!
BUN. My darling! [embracing her]
PATIENCE But -- oh, horror! [recoiling from him]
BUN. What's the matter?
PATIENCE Is it quite certain that you have absolutely reformed - - that you are henceforth a perfect being -- utterly free from defect of any kind?
BUN. It is quite certain. I have sworn it.
PATIENCE Then I never can be yours! [crossing to R.C.]
BUN. Why not?
PATIENCE Love, to be pure, must be absolutely unselfish, and there can be nothing unselfish in loving so perfect a being as you have now become!
BUN. But, stop a bit. I don't want to change -- I'll relapse -- I'll be as I was -- interrupted!
[Enter GROSVENOR, L.U.E., followed by all the young LADIES, who are followed by Chorus of DRAGOONS. He has had his hair cut, and is dressed in an ordinary suit and a bowler hat.
They all dance cheerfully round the stage in marked contrast to their former languor.]
No. 19. I'm a Waterloo House young man (Solo and Chorus) Grosvenor and Maidens
GROSVENOR I'm a Waterloo House young man, A Sewell & Cross young man, A steady and stolidy, jolly Bank-holiday, Everyday young man.
MAIDENS We're Swears & Wells young girls, We're Madame Louise young girls, We're prettily pattering, cheerily chattering, Every-day young girls.
BUN. [C.] Angela -- Ella -- Saphir -- what -- what does this mean?
ANGELA [R.] It means that Archibald the All-Right cannot be all- wrong; and if the All-Right chooses to discard aestheticism, it proves that aestheticism ought to be discarded.
PATIENCE Oh, Archibald! Archibald! I'm shocked -- surprised -- horrified!
GROS. [L.C.] I can't help it. I'm not a free agent. I do it on compulsion.
PATIENCE This is terrible. Go! I shall never set eyes on you again. But -- oh, joy!
GROS.[L.C.] What is the matter?
PATIENCE [R.C.] Is it quite, quite certain that you will always be a commonplace young man?
GROS. Always -- I've sworn it.
PATIENCE Why, then, there's nothing to prevent my loving you with all the fervour at my command!
GROS. Why, that's true.
PATIENCE [crossing to him] My Archibald!
GROS. My Patience! [They embrace.]
BUN. Crushed again!
[Enter JANE, L.]
JANE [who is still aesthetic] Cheer up! I am still here. I have never left you, and I never will!
BUN. Thank you, Jane. After all, there is no denying it, you're a fine figure of a woman!
JANE My Reginald!
BUN. My Jane! [They embrace.]
Fanfare
[Enter, R., COLONEL, MAJOR, and DUKE. They are again in uniform.]
COLONEL Ladies, the Duke has at length determined to select a bride!
[General excitement]
DUKE [R.] I have a great gift to bestow. Approach, such of you as are truly lovely. [All the MAIDENS come forward, bashfully, except JANE and PATIENCE.] In personal appearance you have all that is necessary to make a woman happy. In common fairness, I think I ought to choose the only one among you who has the misfortune to be distinctly plain. [Girls retire disappointed.]
Jane!
JANE [leaving BUNTHORNE's arms] Duke! [JANE and DUKE embrace.
BUNTHORNE is utterly disgusted.]
BUN. Crushed again!
No. 20. After much debate internal (Finale of Act II) Ensemble
DUKE [R.C.] After much debate internal, I on Lady Jane decide, Saphir now may take the Col'nel, Angry be the Major's bride!
[SAPHIR pairs off with COLONEL, R., ANGELA with MAJOR, L.C., ELLA with SOLICITOR, L.]
BUNTHORNE [C.] In that case unprecedented, Single I must live and die-- I shall have to be contented With a tulip or li-ly!
[BUNTHORNE, C., takes a lily from buttonhole and gazes affectionately at it.]
SAPHIR, ELLA, ANGELA, DUKE, BUNTHORNE and COLONEL He will have to be contented With a tulip or li-ly!