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Chapter 95 - Punished Again

 

Translator: Lav

Editor: Levs

 

Although it was already 9PM, but after Zhang Liangliang’s mother called her, her face was filled with annoyance. 

“Dashu, can you not send me home this early? Zhang Meimei said she won’t be home till late night and told me to sleep early. But it’s the weekend today, I haven’t been out for the whole week! Can you hang out with me? I’ll treat you!” 

Shi Lei felt sympathetic towards her and thought that he didn’t plan to sleep early anyways as he needed to talk to the Scepter after midnight. He had about 200 yuan left anyway and needed to spend them. 

He said: “Fine, it’s an exception today. Let’s go watch a movie, there’s one I want to watch.” 

Zhang Liangliang wowed. She was happy just to be able to stay with Shi Lei and it didn’t really matter what they do.

“Dashu, you are bad!” When Shi Lei was purchasing the tickets, Zhang Liangliang continuously made faces next to him. 

Shi Lei frowned and asked: “How am I bad?” 

“Usually if a boy wants to pick up a girl, he would take her to dinner first, then movies. Because the cinema is quite dark, he can pretend to accidentally touch the girl’s hands. If the girl doesn’t mind, then that means he can make a move and hold hands. After they hold hands for a while, he can even try to hold her in his arms. If the girl doesn’t mind about these, then, hahaha, they are basically together. They kiss each other on the cheek, then on the lips, or even touch……” 

Before Zhang Liangliang could finish her words, Shi Lei’s facial expressions darkened. 

The ticket seller, watching as the boy looked up to the sky, pretended that he didn’t hear any of those words. But, does your manager know that you are really bad at acting? Why are you acting if you don’t know how! 

Shi Lei took the tickets and dragged her on the side. 

Chilly wind swept past them and they shivered. 

Shi Lei couldn’t care less about this and said to Zhang Liangliang with a stern face: “Miss Zhang Liangliang, if you keep doing this, not to mention movies, I won’t even eat with you anymore, and I will talk to your mother about it and quit this job. When that time comes, you can eat with whoever you like and watch movies with whoever you want!”

Zhang Liangliang felt wronged by his words. She grabbed onto Shi Lei’s arms and swung them back and forth: “Dashu, why are you like this? I just wanted to joke around, I know you won’t hold my hands and won’t kiss me, but it’s just a joke and you are going that far?” 

“Yes, definitely. I’m telling you, Zhang Liangliang, you are just a child. If it’s not for…… for……” 

Shi Lei didn’t want to put salt on her wound again and ignored that part: “For that, I really can’t be bothered, you know?” 

“I’m not a child anymore, I’ll be 16 in December.” 

“16 is still a child. Do you know what’s the legal age for an adult? 18!” Shi Lei raged. 

“Dashu, is it because I’m not pretty enough?” Zhang Liangliang blinked her big and watery eyes. Her eyelashes were longer than those who put mascara on and her genes were outrageous.  

Shi Lei sighed and said: “You are pretty, but this has nothing to do with being pretty. Plus, you met Yiyi already, she’s my girlfriend, you know?” Helplessly, Shi Lei could only bring out Sun Yiyi as a shield. 

“Ehhh…… Stop lying. I’ve gotten close to Yi’jie in the past few days. She told me ages ago that she grew up with you and you guys are childhood friends. Even your families wanted you two to be together, but you haven’t even held hands yet.”  

“I held her hands yesterday!” Shi Lei was speechless. This Sun Yiyi was really naive, even a brat like this could easily make her expose so much. 

“So what? I don’t really care and I don’t plan to fight over you with her. Yi’jie is such a good person, whoever fight over things with her, oh, no, dashu isn’t a thing…….” 

Shi Lei’s face was gloomy: “You are not a thing(1)!” 

Zhang Liangliang laughed and said: “You know I don’t mean it. I’m saying that I definitely won’t snatch you away from Yi’jie, we can just share!” 

Shi Lei slapped her on the head hard this time. The sound was loud and clear and Zhang Liangliang almost cried from the pain. 

“Aiyo, Dashu, why are you so harsh on me!” 

With a grim face, Shi Lei said: “This is still light! Share? Can this be shared? No, no, I’m not a thing. No, I am a thing? Dear lord, I’m so angry that I can’t even make sense of my words anymore!” 

Shi Lei was initially trying to scold Zhang Liangliang, but somehow he turned it into a joke. In the end, it did not educate Zhang Liangliang in any way and there were only comedic effects. 

Zhang Liangliang giggled so hard that she couldn’t straighten her back. She said: “Oh my god, you are so funny. I think I’m going to die from laughing. You are funnier than Guo Degang(2) and much funnier than Wang Zijian. You should go and write jokes for the young master. The talk shows of people who were born in the 80’s are horrendous and I can’t even watch it. Dandan and Wang Jianguo are definitely at the end of their wits. If you do it, the show would be popular throughout China. You are so funny!” 

Shi Lei was really speechless. He discovered that whenever he talked to Zhang Liangliang, he always raged so easily. With this girl, he just couldn’t get angry at her. Shi Lei doubted that if he kept on talking to her like this, he would be tricked until the very end. 

“We are not watching the movie anymore. I’m sending you home!” Shi Lei pulled out his trump card under this situation. Zhang Liangliang was shocked. She looked at Shi Lei and there were even tears glittering in her eyes. 

Holy shit! Can you not be like this?! Sun Yiyi was like this, Zhang Liangliang, too. Are you girls made out of water? Why do you all like to cry so much? 

“Don’t cry!” Shi Lei commanded strictly. 

Zhang Liangliang pouted and said: “Then take me to the movies, I’m not going home!” 

Shi Lei gave up and said: “Ok, ok, ok. Watch, we’ll watch. What do you want to eat and drink, I’ll get it now my little ancestor(3)!”

The tears in Zhang Liangliang’s eyes disappeared in an instant and her smile was so bright as if it was the new year: “Popcorn, ice cream, and a Coke!” 

Shi Lei went back to a gloomy face, and bought everything she wanted. With the tickets, he finished spending the sum of this week. In the end, this was good news to him.  

“Don’t be like this, Dashu, don’t be angry. I’ll listen to you, I definitely won’t take any advantage of you under the dark environment of the cinema, ok?” 

Shi Lei really wanted to swear and curse at her. In the end, he just glared at her. Seeing that it was almost time, they went straight for the cinema. The movie was not bad either. It was a film Shi Lei wanted to watch for a while and because it was a comedy, Zhang Liangliang was rather happy too. The popcorn in her hands spilled on Shi Lei just like her laughter and he couldn’t do anything but pick it up and eat them all. 

After the movie ended, it was late. Although the little girl strongly requested to eat supper, but Shi Lei ignored her and forcefully sent her home. 

Seeing that there were only ten minutes left until midnight, Shi Lei called a taxi and closed his eyes as he accompanied Er’jie for the night and was really tired. 

Suddenly, the taxi driver’s nose twitched and asked: “Hey, do you smell something strange?” 

Shi Lei didn’t notice it before, but now that the driver mentioned it, he felt that his crotch was burning and he clearly saw a thin cloud of bloody fog rose up from his crotch……  

HOLY SHIT!!!

 

You are not a thing: an insult meaning that someone isn’t good enough/worthy to be human

Names mentioned in this paragraph are all comedians of China 

Ancestor: usually refer to people who are hard to take care of 

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