Chapter 140
The Reincarnated Princess’s Reflection
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A week had passed since I came home .
There were many things that made me happy: relaxing with Nero, seeing my brother, Lutz, Theo, and even Irene for the first time in months .
But all good things come to an end . Isn’t the idea that happiness doesn’t last a natural fact of life?
It finally came .
Today I was scheduled to have an audience with my father .
Don’t wanna . I really don’t wanna do this .
Who in their right mind would volunteer themselves to be ridiculed and mocked relentlessly? I wonder how much of my finally-recovered mental health would be scraped off this time .
But I had no other choice . Even if I didn’t like it, there was something of utmost importance that I must tell him . I honestly didn’t want to go, but I had to .
“…Alright . ”
I took three deep breaths and mustered up whatever determination I had slapping my cheeks with both hands, before heading for my father’s study .
Thinking back, I was used to being subject to whatever fear or derision that man caused . I just have to let it go in one ear and out the other . It’s all right . It’s going to be alright . I can do this! Now that my brother and Nero have healed me back up mentally, there’s nothing to be scared of! Bring it on!
“…”
There was a time when I was brave .
I silently stared at the pair of hands resting on my lap . I also noticed his gaze from where he was sitting, but I daren’t raise my face to meet him .
I took a quick peek at the man sitting on the opposite sofa and heーFatherーwas returning my gaze with a cane in one hand . Despite his general lack of expressions, I could make out a hint of surprise lingering somewhere within his eyes .
This silence has been going on for five whole minutes! I wanna go home .
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“You’ve been extremely conspicuous with your recent actions . ”
Those words broke the eternally long silence . His voice contained even more surprise than his eyes .
When I raised my face, his eyes did not meet with mine but I felt like I just took an under-shoulder swing down from a sumo wrestler . The pressure he gave off put me properly in place .
Father was staring at a document in his hand .
The platinum-blonde hair cast shadows over the pale blue eyes it hung over . A graceful finger that elegantly turned the page made this a sight to behold, but he was terribly rough . I was worried that the paper would be torn from how harshly he was handling it .
“You were attacked by pirates, kidnapped by a man you thought of as a friend, and then taken to a remote mountain village of a pharmacist clan . Though you first appeared to have adapted well to the people’s secluded society, as soon as you heard of the epidemic in Wind, you persuaded the Kua to help out and barrel down the mountains at once . Then you entered Wind using Lord Eigel’s connections before finally, you arrived at the village where the disease was rampant and successfully deescalated the situation . ”
My actions during the journey were laid bare .
Please make it stop . When I heard it again myself, I could see how the story was full of twists and turns… Seriously, don’t I just keep finding myself in too many troublesome stuff?
“It’s hard to believe this to be a report on what you, a princess, has done . I wonder if the drunken bard had mistaken your report as his fantasy written at an ungodly hour . ”
He exaggeratedly exhaled as he flicked the piece of paper with his fingernail .
I didn’t expect him to treat what happened to me as a late-night tale written by some drunkard . I kept the thought to myself and my mouth shut . A normal person wouldn’t believe a thing written in the report . Really, they’d wonder if a princess like that even exists .
Father’s eyes landed on me when I physically winced at the report in his hands .
When he tilted his head, his platinum-blonde hair wavered slightly .
“Now then, I have some questions . Where did you go, and what did you do?”
Wow… What a shitty dad .
Despite knowing all well that I didn’t want to say it out loud, he still asked me about it . Horrible . I wanna see the faces of my ancestors instead . Ah, I think a portrait of them hangs in the hallway . I’ll go check it out later .
I tried escaping reality for a second, but I couldn’t make sense of myself .
Finally, I opened my mouth as I couldn’t bear to stretch this silence on any longer .
“I set off for Flamme to look for medicine . ”
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“What a great adventure for such a menial task . ”
“Well… I… It couldn’t be helped . ”
What a lame excuse .
Even little children can come up with something better . Even so, my head wasn’t working like it should .
Needless to say, it hadn’t convinced my father in the slightest and his beautiful eyebrows knitted slightly .
“‘Couldn’t be helped?’ To poke your nose into someone else’s affairs, and having the gall to say that it couldn’t be helped? Don’t make me laugh . ”
Say that after you’ve laughed your socks off! Don’t say that with a straight face, you shitty father!!
“Why did you go to the trouble of helping a neighbouring country and even acted like their saviour? What did you want to achieve so badly that you put your only life on the line?”
“…”
“Did you change your mind and want to marry into Wind?”
“That’s not it!”
I immediately denied the unexpected question .
“What is it then? Did you simply feel like you couldn’t ignore the situation?”
“…”
I couldn’t give him an answer and dropped my gaze .
I don’t think what I did was wrong .
But I also understand that it was reckless . I could’ve let other people handle it rather than doing everything myself .
Seeing me silent, Father sighed again .
“It’s beyond the realm of what a mere little girl like you are supposed to do . Normally, you would be rewarding those who have done work in your stead . ”
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The amazement in his voice had subsided, but it felt gentler than it was before .
“But it was lucky that you’ve returned safely . One mistake and you would be dead . If I leave the country as it is, my wild boar of a daughter might thoughtlessly charge away and lead the kingdom to destruction . ”
My eyes were wide . I then rapidly blinked . Is it me, or is he looking more amused by the minute?
I knew full well I was lucky to have come home in one piece .
I also understand that a single mistake could’ve killed me, but I have no intention of ruining the kingdom, you know? I mean, after all, no matter what a coward like me does, the country wouldn’t just decline… Ah! Maybe you’ve been hit with accusations of how I’d snuck into Flamme and ended up in Wind? Is it possible that I’ve caused some discord among the neighbouring countries?
“Saying this just in case, but it’s not whatever you’re thinking . ”
“I haven’t said anything yet!”
“It’s written all over your face . A wrong answer, that is . ”
“I have not said anything yet!!”
Don’t decide on what’s correct or what isn’t before I’ve answered it!
At least give me a chance to say something first, damn it!
“You’re underestimating the value of your own life . ”
“Eh…?”
I was caught off guard by his oncoming words .
“Don’t forget that some people will become useless when you die . ”
Who would become useless if I die…?
When I was told that, the first thing that came to my mind was a pair of gentle blue eyes . The hug that had welcomed me back home .
“Are you, perhaps, talking about Brother…?”
“It’s not any one person, but he is definitely one of them . ”
I was confused by his simple reply . Sure, I’m still nagged by what he said about it not being any single person, but I can’t imagine anyone else ‘becoming useless’ other than Brother for my death…
“My Brother has always taken good care of me . But I am confident that he is not one to let private matters affect his work . ”
I had no doubt to the extent of my brother’s affection .
If anything were to happen to me, he would definitely be heartbroken . He might even cry . However, I trust that my brother has the ability to continue leading the country after overcoming his sadness .
“I suppose . ”
Father agreed with my words .
And with that, I couldn’t remember what I wanted to say earlier . Father continued, as if not waiting for my reply .
“Even if you die, nothing will change, at least on the surface . He would dutifully carry out all of his royal obligations and not show a single tear . But he would revert to the doll that he was before you and your younger brother were born . ”
“…”
Father stared into my widened eyes .
“The man who could be a wise king will regress into a mere puppet . Do not let that happen . ”
“Yes . ”
A reply had escaped my lips before I had noticed .
My head nodded before it even registered in my brain .
“I’m sorry . ”
Even after hearing my apology, Father remained silent .
However, in his eyes that were like thin ice, so cold it completely lacked any discernible warmth, I felt it gradually thaw .