Happy Friday!
This week’s chapter is pretty long, but it is quite deep with lots of feels, so feel free to grab a box of tissues because you might need it?
Before you start, there are some things to take note of. First, Mira starts talking in the third person for a bit, so watch out for that. Second, there are some dialogue that are not in brackets or quotation. That is because the author didn’t specify anything, so I didn’t put anything, but I did italicized it for you so that it’ll be less confusing. If you find that I missed one or two, then please let me know.
Anyways, enjoy the chapter and I’ll see you on Monday.
I entrusted Yurii-sama to my friends who come to my room every day so that I could go outside for a little while.
So, even if there was an assassin, it would be hard for them to get to Yuri-sama who was at the dormitory at this time.
「Sorry to keep you waiting.」
When I called out to Dia who was wearing a coat, he shook his head while smiling.
「It would've been better if you walked a little more slowly. You ran here, didn't you? You're out of breath.」
「Even if I run, I'm slow, so I'm troubled by this. I need to exercise a bit more.」
「Why don't I accompany you in exercising?」
「If you match my speed, then it would be you who would not get enough exercise.」
Dia's hand was freezing when I gently touched his hand.
If he came from the male dormitory, he would be cold.
「It is winter time…isn't it…. So cold…」
「What is this? Are you going to warm me up?」
He said this and squeezed my hand, but I was cold as well.
「You've already turned eighteen.」
His hand was big.
I haven't thought about it before, but even the size of this hand, was a sign that Dia was going to leave me. However, I had forgotten his birthday, and I couldn't straightforwardly tell him that I'm being left behind.
After Dia's eyes had widened in astonishment, he smiled.
「You remembered.」
「No…to tell you the truth, I had forgotten it. I'm sorry.」
His Highness Prince Alan had urged me, to not earnestly and honestly say that I forgot about it, but if I did that, I would feel guilty.
I really didn't want to pretend to have remembered it, so I needed to apologize.
「It's inexcusable, to give you a present now, but if it's alright with you, please accept this.」
It was a somewhat high class teacup. It was something that I could buy with my pocket money, so for Dia, it might be a poor quality item. I heard that he broke his a few days ago, so it shouldn't be something he wouldn't use. It had a simple design that was easy to use.
Even though it was nothing special, Dia was extremely pleased.
「Thank you. I'll treasure it.」
「No…. I did something…that was completely inexcusable. His Highness Prince Alan told me. That if, I truly felt guilty, I should earnestly and properly talk to Dia face to face.」
Although he said that it would be fine as long as I did as he said, His Highness Prince Alan's advice was just this.
Talk to that guy face to face. You need to remember to take advantage of this opportunity. As you apologize, give that guy the answer that you have avoided giving. Properly talk to him, as his fiance.
「If it's just that, you don't need to worry about forgetting my birthday. You were also busy these days.」
「No…. I need to discuss it with you soon. Because, you're going to graduate.」
I put it off, it was something that I had put off. This might be the perfect chance to talk about it.
It's already been decided when I would graduate, and I need to come to a conclusion soon. I needed to keep it in mind from now on, so that I would have enough time to make a decision. Both of us needed to agree to the cancellation of the betrothal.
「Happy birthday, Dia.」
I say this, every year. My congratulations.
「Although I say that, but it was only in the beginning when I had wanted to congratulate you on your birthday.」
When you enrolled into the school, and when you came of age at fifteen.
「I hated Dia who was more mature than me. I also hated Dia who treated me like a child. I wanted to, be Dia's equal. Even if my social standing, knowledge, and ability was not on the same level as yours, being treated like a child was unbearable and I hated it.」
He always, always behaved like an adult. Even when he was a child. Even though he was the same as me. Before I realized it, the Dia who had behaved like an adult had become an adult, and was not a child any longer.
Even so, no matter how much time had passed, I was like a child. These days, I had finally become a child who was able to behave like an adult.
「Every time, you say 'cute Mira', I was happy, but, you say that because you're treating me like a child.」
Not even embarrassed, he said it as if comforting me.
「You say that, you like me, but that 'like' is something resembling familial love. Not only that, it's pity and atonement. There's no way that you would love me, isn't that right?」
As I was speaking, I had become heartbroken, and hung my head down. For me to be hurt by the things that I myself said, as expected, I was a child.
My hand was squeezed tightly.
「I love you.」
「You don't!」
He didn't see me as a woman.
「An excuse. That's just an excuse. I'm an unpleasant person, so I'm making an excuse. At the beginning of this year, I had always hoped that Dia's birthday would not come. Eighteen is the age when you graduate, right? That's because, when Dia is eighteen, we would need to talk about the betrothal as well. I can't avoid it anymore. This year, especially, I tried to forget about your birthday. I wanted to forget about it. That's just an excuse. I'm a obstinate and unpleasant woman. It can't be helped even if you're disgusted. However, even if it's an excuse, this is also, the truth.」
My 'like' and, Dia's 'like' was different.
「Nee, thank you for everything up until now. You're a wonderful person.」
「What are you saying? I'll still be with you from now on.」
I still have another, present to give to you.
「Why don't we cancel the betrothal. If you wished for it, Duke-sama would also allow it. If you are determined to cancel it, just say it. I'll also go and discuss it with Duke-sama.」
Just as you wanted, I'll give you your freedom.
If you say a single word about canceling the betrothal, I'll make sure that you will be able to get out of it anytime you want. I'll accept the cancellation of the betrothal at any time. I'll make it a reality.
「I, won't let Mira go. I won't let Mira be alone, and I'll treasure you. I'll love you for a lifetime.」
Mother left Mira behind again. Father was not taking care of Mira. Neither Mother nor Father were accompanying Mira. Today too, those two people were arguing. Nee, I can’t go see Dahlia or Cain anymore. Because we don’t have money, the maid that I was close with quit. Mira is alone today as well.
When Mira was small, Dia was always there during the difficult times.
A Mother and Father who you can’t do anything about. It’s fine. Let’s stay together until they stop arguing. That’s right, not being able to see your siblings is regretful. In return, I’ll accompany you. I will stay with Mira, for the maid’s part as well. I'm here. I won't leave Mira alone. I won't let Mira be sad.
Like always, he said this and then hugged me.
'I, won't make Mira cry,' he said.
「Nee, don't hug me.」
The eighteen year old Dia also, hugged me.
「Please. No, Why. It' wasn't supposed to be like this. Even though, you were, supposed to quickly accept my proposal. This, is the worst.」
However, the eighteen year old Dia was different from when he was a child. When he hugged me, he doesn't touch my shoulder.
「Don’t protect me! My left shoulder, touch it! Stop it…I’m aware that even your gentleness was, all of it, is due to your feelings of guilt…!」
「You’re wrong! I wouldn’t pretend to love you for atonement! I, towards Mira…」
「You're always like that! You're, always nonchalant, but you would protect my shoulder. The reason why you're still worried about the shoulder that has already healed is because, you're still worried about that.」
Judias Roderick was the only son of the Duke House.
He was someone who had an attractive face and figure, impeccable manners, excellent grades, and was admired by everyone.
Mirabell Swain was the only daughter of a nominal count.
She had no special skills, was mediocre, not even beautiful, and had little worth.
I laughed, because I'm his fiance, when I'm like that. It's laughable. There was practically no one who would consent to this relationship.
The female students who admire Judias Roderick were as many as the stars in the sky. I'm certain that for them, I'm an eyesore.
I could persevere if it was just a little harassment. They also did things that Dia doesn't know about. I didn't want him to worry.
However, in the end, it was found out. When I had let down my guard, I had been pushed off the stairs, and I had hit my head and had also received a serious injury on my left shoulder. It was healed with magic, but I had to do a little rehabilitation for my shoulder.
After that, Dia would be distant with me within the school. I did the same with him. To be honest, I was dissatisfied with that.
After that incident, Dia took good care of me even more.
However,
「I, it was my own fault that I was injured, I blame myself…that's why, stay with me. When I think that, I feel extremely empty.」
Even before I was injured, Dia was kind. He took great care of me.
「In actuality, you just think of me as a younger sister, and yet you fuss over me, and might even marry me. This is just for atonement, and even if you did marry me…this marriage would be a mistake. There's a much better person for me. I'm scared, that you would think that…」
Moving a little closer, Dia was startled.
「Mira…? Are you crying?」
「I…I, did not plan on talking about this. I wasn't going to cry wither…! Right now, I am Yurii-sama's guardian, and there's also the issue of succession of the throne, there's lots of important things…! I'm wasn't going to, ramble on about my personal feelings like this, I just, wanted to tell you to cancel the betrothal, and then, immediately, go back to where Yurii-sama is…」
Why was I flustered about? It was truly hectic right now, and my number one priority was Yurii-sama. Even though I needed to put everything else on hold.
That small prince was, very similar to, the young Mira's young prince. Yurii-sama's growth was, a close resemblance to Dia's.
「I'm sorry… , I selfishly…the worst…. I'm the worst…. Behaving like a good person, I'm, dishonest, to you, and to Yurii-sama…」
Even though I should only be thinking about the small prince, in the end, I had only thought about my own issues.
「I remember, all the times, that that child said 'my Mira'. Although I had begun calling myself 'Yurii-sama's Mira'. "My Mira', you often said that too. However, you, and Yurii-sama weren't my Dia and my Yurii-sama.」
That's unfair.
「Nee, after several more months, Yurii-sama will return to the castle. You too will become someone else's Dia. Mother is William's Claire. Father is Claire's William. Then, who will be with Mira? Who will, make me their 'number one'?」
Even sick children, and women dream. I want to be someone's number one. I want to be the only one. I want to be regarded as a special existence by someone.
「Can it not be me?」
「You are…!」
「I'm not the person that you think I am! I'm much greedier than Mira thinks. I'm not kind, and sincere like Mira thinks I am. I was only behaving like a good person!」
The Dia who did not touch my shoulder, hugged me tightly with his arms and enveloped my entire body in his embrace.
「I love you. I like you. So much so that it somehow turned out like this. I had always thought, since I was a kid, that it would be good if Mira was mine for all eternity. Just you talking to a man that wasn't me, would make me feel like I was going crazy…! It isn't something like atonement. I just love you.」
I had been deceiving you all along.
He whispered this near my ear.
「You asked what I wanted. I did not wish for anything else besides Mira, so I told Father that I wanted Mira. I, who was a brat, used Father's authority to capture you. Count Swain also objected to it, saying that he wanted to respect his daughter's wishes.」
It wasn't our parents who arranged the marriage. I one-sidedly chained you to me. I locked you in a cage.
As if self-deprecating, the smiling Dia said this cheerfully.
「Are you disappointed? However, understand it. You are the only one for me.」
As I slowly raised my head, smiling as if embarrassed, Dia gave me a fleeting kiss.
Letting me go after just a few seconds, Dia, surprised, smiled happily.
「This is that first time that I've seen Mira turn red because of me.」
「…that's because…ne…I like you… I really like Dia…. That's why, I'm happy, and embarrassed.」
「Really?」
「Really…」
Always, I've actually always always…
「I've always, really liked Dia.」
「I see…I'm so happy I feel giddy.」
His forehead bumped into mine with a kon.
「Right now, we're busy with the succession of the throne. After everything is settled, I want to propose, to you. Until then, I will become a man who is more worthy of you than I am now. Won't you wait for me, Lady Mirabell?」
「Until then, if your heart hasn't change, I will wait for you, Sir Judias.」