Happy Friday!
It’s been quite the week. In case my regular readers didn’t know, I’ve begun translating a new novel which is quite different from this one. It’s one of those isekai novels, but with an assassin as our MC, so if you’re interested, do give it a try. However, there are depictions of violence in this new novel, so if you don’t like that kind of thing, you don’t have to read it.
Anyways, in this week’s chapter, we will learn some new things about Mira, so I hope you enjoy this new discovery.
It was the usual matrimonial quarrel.
As usual, Mother grew impatient with Father who was mumbling incoherently as usual, and she flew out of the house like usual, and like usual, Father would tell me to go look for Mother as the servants' pitying gazes washed over me, like usual.
Within the vicinity of the house was, the Mayford residence, and the grave of Mother's close friend.
She was usually around there somewhere, but on that day, she was nowhere to be found.
Disappointed that I was not able to find Mother, I didn't return, and stayed at the latter location for a while.
The grave of Mother's close friend.
Where was okaasama?
There wasn't even an answer coming from beneath the grave.
To begin with, I complained, 'This is all because Father is disappointing!' many times and blamed Mother, 'This is all because I'm okaasama's child!' many times.
However, even so, I love them, so when I returned by myself, it was painful to look at Fahter's lonely back.
At that time, I was five years old. I had a harsh childhood. A girl at this age should not have been going outside by herself.
There were people from the house watching over me from behind me, but the me who didn't know anything at that time was lonely.
「Okaasama…」
「That is where the tomb of my kaasan is.」
When I quickly turned around, there was a boy who was slightly bigger than me, with indigo hair. As he looked down at me with a blank expression, some kind of thread broke off with a snap.
「Then, where is Mira's okaasamaaa…?」
「Eh, Mira? Then, you're Madame Claire's」
Confused as to why I had burst into tears, he stroke my head and patted my back, but I had ignored that and continued crying.
「Ara! Mirchan! Crying like that, what happened?」
This time, it wasn't the boy, it was Mother's voice, and in the next moment, she picked me up.
「What did you do, Dia?」
「Eh! I didn't do anything!」
It seemed like Mother and him were friends. After rubbing my eyes, I lightly headbutted Mother.
「Okaasama, I don't want, you to leave, Mira and otousama behind.」
「Maa…! Sorry, Mirchan. I'm a no-good okaasama.」
Mother would forget about it the next day even though she reflected on it right now.
「As expected, I told you it wasn't me!」
「Hey, little boy. If you mind the small details, you won't grow up to become a decent adult.」
While hugging me, Mother loudly laughed, ohoho.
Looking at me who had been put down, he whispered 「Good for you.」with a small smile. He definitely would not have understood even if he knew the whole story, and even then, he was a gentle and intelligent person.
Mother, who had ran away from home, had gone to meet with the son of her close friend who had passed away, and since it had been a while, she went together with him to visit the grave.
「Mirchan, come on, it's Judias-sama. Say hello.」
Unlike me who was overwhelmed, Dia gently smiled and gave his greetings first.
「Hello, Mira. I've heard about you from your okaasama. Come here. Let's shake hands.」
「Judias…-sama…?」
「Just Dia is fine.」
「Dia…」
The first impression was by no means terrible. Rather, I thought that he was a wonderful oniisan.
How funny.
No matter how capable they were, other people would not feel resentment towards Dia. Although we're childhood friends, in the eyes of my parents and the Duke-sama whom I admired, I could not compare to Dia.
Dia was able to use magic than me. He could draw better pictures than me. Dia was better than me at speaking. Dia could calculate faster than me. Even so, he always took care of me.
Actually, I knew it. I would inevitably try to catch up to Dia, but I would still lose. The reason was very, very simple. Dia put in so much more effort than me, to the point where it would be impolite to make a comparison. Instead of getting jealous, I needed to work harder.
However, it was impossible to not get jealous.
Why does Dia work so hard?
Why is Dia leaving me behind?
Why is DIa not by my side?
Why can't I become someone suitable for Dia?
If I work hard, Dia would work ten times as hard. As soon as I think that he's finally within reach, he would immediately increase the distance.
Don't work so hard. Don't become a Dia that I don't know. I'm ashamed of myself. Even though I was by his side and was by no means a good person, I couldn't stand someone who was not him or me giving me the position of his fiance.
If only I were someone who was able to work hard just for him. If only I was beautiful just like Mother. If only, at the very least, my family had the same social standing as his.
If that were the case, I might not have been jealous of Dia nor would I be in love with him like I am now.
「Is it just you?」
When I called out to him, Dia, who was staring at his textbook, looked up.
「Aah, you woke up. Thank god.」
With a smile like usual, he put his big hand on my forehead.
「His Highness Prince Yurii went to go pick some flowers as an apology to you. Alan went with him.」
「I see…」
I did something bad. Yurii-sama was probably worried. It was inevitable for a five year old child to charge at you. I need to do some fitness training.
When did he start calling him His Highness Prince Yurii? Even though I should've been the only one who could him by his nickname. Like that, he easily destroyed my sense of superiority once again.
「How are you feeling? Do you want to sleep a little longer?」
「No…」
I don't envy or hate this person anymore, but I'm not very good at dealing with him. When? How? This person went from being a childhood friend, to being a man.
This person's smile was my weakness. Everytime this person smiled, I felt a sense of peace somewhere in my heart. Even though we will be separated someday.
「What happened? Is there something on my face?」
「No…. Dia…I've, always…」
Actually, I've always
「Always, always hated you.」
That's wrong.
I've always been in love with you.
It was different from my admiration for Duke-sama, it was a love that wished for these feelings to be returned.
「You're saying something cruel so abruptly.」
No. I wasn't going to say something like 'hate'. I'm selfish, so I hate the you who will go somewhere I can't reach.
Even if we're together, I really hate that I'm not able to give you any benefits.
Dia, who said that he liked me, always seemed like he was joking, and I can not help but hate that as well. You probably just consider me as your younger sister.
Even if he saw me as a woman, I could not do something cruel like tying you down to a coward like me who just makes excuses. In the case where we do get together, you would probably realize it immediately. How boring I am.
「Although, I'm aware of that. You've always held hostility towards me since we were young.」
「That's not…」
「For me, even that is a good feeling. If you're not concerned about me anymore, then I would be in despair.」
What should I say? I should apologize for my sudden and thoughtless words, but there wasn't even an opportunity for me to apologize.
「…before Yurii-sama came, I was talking, with Ryan-sama here.」
「When I came here, I passed by him. What did you talk about?」
If only Dia was here. That's what I thought. At the last moment, I was thinking of relying on Dia even when he wasn't there.
「Perhaps that person, is more knowledgeable than His Highness Prince Alan. However, I was unable to get even a single piece of useful information. I did not have the ability. Surely, if it were you, you'd definitely be successful.」
Even if I said that sarcastically, Dia would forgive me. Like that, I'm behaving like a spoiled child again.
「But, somehow, I don't think that Ryan-sama is being used by the queen. It's just my gut feeling though.」
Folding his arms, Dia gave a small sigh.
「It's enough with just that. Also, you've always looked down on me.」
「That…」
「You and me, one or the other, something like comparing who can do something well, is strange. Anyway, in order to succeed Father, I am diligently training every day and accumulating experience. Because of that, if I am defeated by you, then I'm not even worth considering.」
「That's, it's as if I'm getting carried away, isn't it?」
「That's not it…when you're in a bad mood, you become more childish.」
For some reason, Dia was smiling happily.
「Is there something wrong?」
「No…it's just that that expression on your face is one that you make when you are indulging in your sense of superiority over me.」
This time, he just quietly said this and smiled.
「What I want to say is that, the things that you and I can do, and the things that we should do are different. Like you, I too have a lot of things that I can't do, and as a matter of fact, I also need to rely on you a little. If you could do everything by yourself, then I would be troubled.」
「…you're treating me like a child.」
「Because you're acting like a child right now.」
Hugging me tightly, he gently patted my back.
You say that, but you're the one who's able to do everything. I can't think of one thing that I can do that Dia can't.
「There were times like this when we were younger. You went to sleep, and after you woke up, your mood got interestingly worse. I don't know if you had a nightmare or something, but it's the worst when you can't speak and you don't know what to do. For the small Mira to already be sixteen years old, time sure passes by quickly.」
「What is the person who has barely changed saying…?」
Rather than Father and Mother, I think that I call Dia's name the most. That's why, my shortcomings were exposed as he's seen me in embarrassing situations.
「When my Mira hugs me, it would cheer me up a little.」
「I'm not yours.」
「That's true. It'll be part of my future plans.」
「It's not in my future plans.」
「It is in mine.」
I am in love with you, but I don't want to marry you. If I said this, I wonder what kind of face would you make, and what you would say.
「I had a good dream.」
It wasn't a nightmare.
For some reason, it was a dream of when I first met you, when I did not yet think about being a suitable match for you.
「However, it might've been because of that that I'm in a bad mood.」
It would've been nice to live within that dream. Because that wish won't come true, I felt dejected. The young me within the dream was, not hard to understand and was living carefreely, so I was jealous.
「Mira! Mira is awake!」
「Yurii-sama…welcome back.」
When we heard Yurii-sama's voice, we let go of each other.
「Mira, does it hurt anywhere? Are you ok now? …are you mad?」
「H–m…I wonder.」
Standing a little farther away, Yurii-sama was hiding flowers behind his back. But he didn't hide it well, I could see the flowers a little.
Not telling him immediately that I'm not mad, Yurii-sama's face stiffened a little. Uh-oh. He looked like he felt extremely guilty..
「If I see flowers, I might get better–…. But I'll get tired if I go outside….」
「Is! Is this ok? Will you get better with this?」
The flowers that he quickly revealed, were drooping a little, maybe Yurii-sama was tightly grasping them as he brought them over here. Pink, red, yellow, and blue, he probably tried really hard to look for different kinds of flowers.
「Maa…how beautiful. It's beautiful. I feel better already. Thank you very much.」
Let's turn half of them into pressed flowers.
After putting them down and beckoning for him to come over, he laid half of his body down on the bed.
「What happened to Yurii-sama's oniisama?」
「I shook him off!」
How bold.
「Oi Dia! Be good and get out!」
「Who will? Is Your Highness Prince Yurii going to leave?」
「Mira wants to be with me, right?」
「Really, really, really want to be together with you.」
Yurii-sama had a triumphant expression on his face. Aah, how adorable.
The most important thing was to take care of this child rather than worry about my own issues. Compared to this child's life, things like love were trivial.
–Are you going to participate as well? Lady Mirabell.
Unexpectedly, I thought about Ryan-sama's words.
This small prince, what does he really wish for? Does he want to inherit the throne? Also, this child, what is the conclusion that he most prefers?