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Chapter 14

“Please reconsider…”

Xia Mo stands in front of Ou Chen’s desk, steadily staring back at him. After standing in the lobby for over three hours, the secretary finally allowed her to come into his office. She hasn’t seen him since taking him to the hospital that night.

“If my memory serves me correctly, I already declined. And regarding your contract with ‘Golden Dance,’ the company has the complete right to sue you for financial compensation and we can completely stop your public appearances. I hope you’ll think about it for a few more days so that at least both parties can maintain positive relations with each other. You may leave now.”

“Please… No matter what the condition, I’ll agree to it, just as long as you donate a kidney to Xiao Cheng…”

“It has always been Yin Cheng who was the most important to you. Never was it me nor Luo Xi. For Yin Cheng, you would even take on the series to directly compete with Luo Xi?”

“He wouldn’t?”

Ou Chen walks closer to Xia Mo to measure her carefully; she stands unblinking and unfazed. However, a desperate energy burns in her eyes – only five years ago has he ever seen such an expression on her face. The only difference is that he was the one begging her. And now, she is the one begging him.

“Then what if I want something that Luo Xi would mind?”

“For example…”

Chucklingly softly, Ou Chen gently grasps Xia Mo’s chin as he leans ever closer to her, the distance between his lips and hers slowly decreasing… Xia Mo stares back at Ou Chen as his head descends but right before he can kiss her, she turns her head away at the last minute!

“If you can’t even do this, then why even bother discussing conditions with me?” Ou Chen pulls out a handkerchief to wipe his lips, as if even that mere physical closeness with her had been a dirty experience. “Just leave.”

“A kiss will do it?”

“Fine.”

It’s not that she didn’t hear the flippancy in his tone but at this moment, she no longer cares. She just wants that kidney! She just wants the kidney that will save Xiao Cheng’s life! Closing her eyes in haste and raising herself on her tiptoes, she leans in towards Ou Chen -

Staring at that perfect ivory face, Ou Chen feels his heart begin to speed up nervously… those lips – are coming closer and closer to his own… So close… and she will be able to kiss him!

Until the moment is suddenly broken by the ringing of Xia Mo’s phone, stopping her in her tracks.

Since today was the first day she had left the hospital, she had made sure to turn her phone back on in case Xiao Cheng’s illness had any development. Worried that it may be the hospital looking for her, Xia Mo fumbles for the phone – and freezes when she sees the name “Luo Xi” on the screen.

Ou Chen also sees the name. “Aren’t you going to pick it up?”

Xia Mo doesn’t know what to do… she’s so close to getting what she wants! She can’t upset him now…

The phone stops ringing. But just when Xia Mo is ready to breathe a sigh of relief, Luo Xi’s name flashes again! This time, Xia Mo hesitates a few seconds before determinedly pushes the power button on her cell.

“Even if I kiss you, you still won’t donate your kidney, will you?”

“What if I said, nothing you could do would get me to agree?”

“Oh really? That confident, huh?”

“So smart. But what are you going to promise me? Sex? Moving in with me? Be my lover? Is that what you think I’ll ask you?”

Yes – that is exactly what she had thought he would ask her.

“Will you still agree?” Xia Mo cannot respond immediately. “If you can’t, then why the big talk?”

“It’s only fair, there is no such thing as a free lunch. My reputation is important but your kidney is also important. I can’t just take something away without giving something in return.”

However, why has her heart suddenly numbed? It is hopelessness. If she does this, does this mean that she will have to forsake something or someone in the future? But without Xiao Cheng, what meaning of life is there left?

The fluttering of crazed emotions in Ou Chen’s eyes is hard to discern – even he does not know whether it it bitterness or pain. “What a self-sacrificing big sister… Except, you guessed wrong. The reason I’ve been waiting for you is to tell you – that no matter what, I will not donate my kidney to Yin Cheng. I just wanted you to come here so that I could say it to you. Because you see… I despise you.”

That night five years ago, Ou Chen knelt before Xia Mo, humbling himself to her in a way that he has never humbled himself to anyone before.

“Will this… do? If it was my fault… I promise you that I’ll change… What can I do so that you’ll forgive me?!”

There is no forgiveness in Xia Mo’s eyes as she turns around from the kneeling Ou Chen though.

“Only… if you die…”

“Do you still remember how heartless and cruel you were to me five years ago?! I begged you! And yet you didn’t even deign to turn around to look back at me.”

“If that’s what you want to call it, then yes, I am.”

“Is there a difference? This way, you’ll hurt too.”

The pain in her heart is unbearable! Xia Mo sees her mom lying like a bloodied, broken doll on the next to the stage floor… Daddy Yin and Mommy Yin’s bloodied corpses… a bloodied Xiao Cheng being wheeled into the emergency room… the white, pasty walls of the cold hospital building… the scrambling doctors and nurses… telling her to prepare herself for the worse… and now the impending deadline that she cannot escape… if she can’t get that kidney…

“Then tell me… what can I do so you’ll agree?”

“Everything I owe you, I will give back to you. Perhaps… if I die, you will finally be satisfied? This will be your condition?”

“No. Come in.”

As they enter the apartment, Luo Xi finds himself accosted by the black cat, Milk, and after a brief tussle that results in Luo Xi getting nipped by him, Xia Mo gently takes the cat back. Watching her softly handle the cat, Luo Xi finds himself calming down peacefully. Originally he had wanted to cross-examine her with questions but perhaps she does have her own reasons. Perhaps she did misunderstand…

“Where you’ve been these past few days?”

“Why is your cell always turned off?”

“Why haven’t you answered any of my calls?”

“Are you mad at me?”

“You’re mad so you haven’t contacted me, haven’t come back home, and haven’t answered my calls? Unless, you’re not mad…”

“Luo Xi…”

“Luo Xi…”

She can’t handle it anymore; her head’s about to explode! She’s known all along that the picture was real and not Photoshopped; she just didn’t want to think about it and chose to believe in Luo Xi instead. However, why is he choosing her most exhausted time to tell her all of this…

“I don’t want to hear it… I’m really tired… These past few days…”

“Is it wrong that I’m choosing to believe you?”

“I… I was busy at the moment and so couldn’t answer your call…”

“Luo Xi…”

Xia Mo’s face instantly pales. Luo Xi humorlessly smiles. “Ah, so you were with him.”

“Then what? The one you like is Ou Chen. It’s always been Ou Chen, right? So you don’t care… Perhaps you were glad to see the gossip about me and Shen Qiang, so you won’t even have to come up with any excuses and could just break up with me. Even better that I disappear forever from your sight, right?”

Xia Mo doesn’t understand what is happening. He is the one who is wrong here g and yet she is the one being blamed. This is his scandal, he was the one caught kissing another woman and when she chose to believe him instead, she is the one in the wrong…

“Luo Xi! Xiao Cheng… is really sick. I’ve been at the hospital with him these past few days so I haven’t been able to mind the gossip. And since you came here, doesn’t this prove that there is nothing true to it? Then why shouldn’t I believe you as opposed to believing the gossip?”

Luo Xi is stunned, now realizing how quiet and dark the place is, a fine layer of dust coating the furniture.

“How is Xiao Cheng doing?”

“Why didn’t you tell me? Such a big thing happens and yet you just now tell me?”

“I had something else to discuss with him.” How could she tell him that she has to marry Ou Chen in order to get that needed kidney?

“… you don’t need to know…”

“There’s nothing going on between me and Ou Chen…” Xia Mo tightly clutches Luo Xi’s hand. With Xiao Cheng in the hospital, he is her closest relative. She wants to lean on him and let him comfort her, tell her that no matter what, everything will be okay… She doesn’t want to fight with him…

Luo Xi firmly removes her hand. “How can I believe you?”

As Luo Xi sits there on the couch, Milk ambles over and meowing softly, climbs into his lap. In his anger and hurt though, Luo Xi flings him away! Crying in protest, Milk ends up knocking over a box sitting on top of the shelf next to the couch, scattering its contents all over the floor.

Pictures of her and Ou Chen’s past together… These were the pictures that Ou Chen had taken to Xia Mo the night of the awards ceremony…

She kept those pictures… The pictures that she had thrown away that night… she had kept them by her side…

Xia Mo is stunned and moves to start gathering them together. “The reporters would have found them in the trash and then they would have caused a misunderstanding, so I picked them back up…”

Even though it is true, Luo Xi won’t believe it …

Xia Mo stops and looks up at Luo Xi hopelessly.

“And since you already picked them back up, might as well treasure them, right?”

“Let’s break up.”

Such simple three words that require no effort at all and yet from Luo Xi’s lips, they come out hoarse.

“Break up?”

“… but the one I like is you…” He’s mad, he’s just mad and so that’s why he said such hurtful words… she just needs to explain it better to him…

“I’m not tired. I’m almost done.”

“If it makes Sister Zhen En happy, then one day I will draw you one too.”

Xiao Cheng laughs. “No worries. I can always fix it.” Pause. “Sister Zhen En, do you think it’s okay that Sister goes to the party by herself?“

Zhen En pauses, as even she doesn’t understand why Xia Mo is suddenly so determined to go to the 20th Anniversary party of RBS Studios. Xia Mo had originally declined all invitations on account of taking care of Xiao Cheng but when she received RBS Studios’ invite, she had asked Zhen En who else would be attending. Zhen En had thus told her that a lot of important people would be attending, reporters would be swarming the place, and Luo Xi and Shen Qiang would most definitely be attending. Perhaps Xia Mo should just decline…

However, when Xia Mo specifically asked whether or not Boss Xia [I always feel like I'm referring to a mafia leader whenever I write that... the direct translation means "boss" but it really means "manager" or "president" in this context] would be in attendance, she was adamant that she would also be going to the party.

*******

RBS Studios is the most influential company in the entertainment industry and the full-scale party has been prepped days in advance. Everyone who is anyone in the entertainment world is expected to attend tonight’s party, and the reporters are all poised to get a shot of their favorite star. Clad in designer gowns, flashy jewelry and suave tuxes, no one misses a beat as all the stops have been pulled out for tonight’s event.

Pan Nan and Xia Mo enter the party together and in this fairy tale land, the two are the perfect princesses. Xia Mo instantly scans the room.

“Are you looking for someone? Luo Xi…?”

“Xia Mo, what is going on with you and Luo Xi?”

“You know Shu Er is right.”

“Did you come here today just to see me?”

“Fine. I once thought you were a smart girl but never imagined that you were really so dense. You’ve wasted so much effort on me, and yet it’s only helped me to get better and better. Now look at you and you still haven’t learned. Didn’t you come here tonight so that you could get another chance to reenter the entertainment world? And yet the moment you see me, you forget everything.”

“If you were just a little smarter, you would pray that everyone would slowly forget what happened to you and then make a comeback that will prove to everyone your talent. And yet here you are, wasting your efforts, making it so that no one will ever be able to forget your sordid past.”

An Hui Ni glares back at Xia Mo with hatred burning in her eyes but has no immediate comeback.

“Just leave. Don’t waste any more time on me. You don’t want to let tonight’s opportunity slip away.”

Both Pan Nan and Yao Shu Er breathe a sigh of relief. Although they weren’t afraid of An Hui Ni, they did worry about her causing a scene. However, who would have guessed that as An Hui Ni walks away, her foot ends up caught in her long dress, and the piece of cake she is currently holding ends up smeared all over the front of Xia Mo’s dress!

Everyone is stunned! What an obvious and underhanded stunt! How could RBS Studios let a person like An Hui Ni into the party?!

An Hui Ni uncomprehendingly stares at the sticky mess on Xia Mo and then tries to wipe it away. However, the wiping only serves to make the oily substance spread more. Xia Mo also unsuccessfully tries to wipe away the cake. Given any other time, she would have just called it a night but the person she is looking for still hasn’t shown up – she does not want to just leave without having found him yet. Seeing the look of dismay on An Hui Ni’s face, Xia Mo realizes that it was truly an accident.

“She didn’t do it on purpose…”

Xia Mo’s sentence isn’t even finished before someone claims her wrist in a firm but gentle hold! Looking first down at the green scarf tied around that hand, Xia Mo continues gazing upward to see Ou Chen with a determined expression. He doesn’t look back down at her.

“Let’s get you changed.”

Keeping a firm grip on her wrist, Ou Chen pulls her through the crowd, weaving between the curious onlookers.

*******

Speculations buzz as soon as Ou Chen and Yin Xia Mo exit the room.

The nerve of An Hui Ni…

Yin Xia Mo and Ou Chen do know each other…

Apparently Yin Xia Mo and Luo Xi have broken up…

An Hui Ni can never make a comeback now…

What is the relationship between Yin Xia Mo and Ou Chen…

However, the questions cease at the entrance of another highly popular topic – Luo Xi and Shen Qiang have entered the premises! Looking at the two of them together, standing next to one another, perfectly coordinated in their brilliant formal wear… they really are a perfectly matched couple.

Although this is not the first time that Luo Xi and Shen Qiang have appeared together in public, this is the first time that they have under the the appearance as a couple. Right as everyone was beginning to think that Shen Qiang’s many years of longing for Luo Xi would result in nothing, he and Yin Xia Mo just happen to break up. Although neither Luo Xi nor Shen Qiang have publicly affirmed their relationship, their appearance together at this party is essentially a silent confirmation.

But then, everyone’s attention is now riveted to the staircase! It is Young Master Ou Chen again making his way down — But this time, he is accompanied by a petite woman at his side. Wearing a flowing white dress, so beautiful and yet almost giving a translucent appearance so that she appears as an angel descending down to earth. Every movement is enhanced by the glittering diamonds that sparkle down her dress.

Her neck is adorned with a beautiful, glittering white gold necklace. A brilliant diamond is nestled at her throat. She is the princess of princesses, invoking a desperation to give her the world’s best things just to have one small smile from her.

It is Yin Xia Mo… how very beautiful she is…

And the diamond that is currently lying so snugly against her throat – the entranced audience have already recognized it as England’s most prized treasure, the “Moonlight” Diamond.

The audience is caught between Shen Qiang and Yin Xia Mo! Shen Qiang carries a cool air around her, her queen-like presence making others afraid to stare too long. On the other hand, Yin Xia Mo’s pure beauty makes people never want to stop staring.

Luo Xi stares silently at the two, his eyes darkening and then narrowing in on Xia Mo’s hand that is currently resting on Ou Chen’s arm. Noticing his wavering attention, Shen Qiang laughingly pulls Luo Xi forward to greet a friend, effectively cutting off his line of sight.

Xia Mo also sees Luo Xi. Although she had already mentally prepared herself for the possibility of seeing him here, she is still seized with apprehension and nervousness at physically seeing him together with Shen Qiang.

Stabbing, empty pain…

Ou Chen quietly studies her. Xia Mo realizes that her hand has instinctively gripped the cloth of Ou Chen’s jacket into a tight fist and she forces herself to loosen her fingers.

No… she didn’t come here for Luo Xi… She has far more important things to do…

“The person you are looking for is over there.”

Xia Mo looks up at Ou Chen in surprise and then glances over to the area he had referred to; it is true! In too much of a hurry to wonder how Ou Chen had known that she was here to look for that person, Xia Mo picks up her pace and follows Ou Chen as he guides her to her target.

“President Xia, long time no see.”

Seeing that it is Ou Hua Corporations’ Young Master Ou Chen, the fifty-something year old man ends his conversation and turns to smile pleasantly at Ou Chen. “Yes, long time no see.”

“Don’t you think you’re pushing it a little far?”

Xia Mo’s urgent inquiry is cut short by another clear, feminine voice. It is Shen Qiang, guiding Luo Xi besides her. “I know you’re all about bettering yourself but could you at least try to be smarter about it? Your current boss is right next to you and you’re already scoping out your next one?”

Xia Mo is momentarily surprised and then understands Shen Qiang’s meaning. Ignoring Shen Qiang, she turns back to President Xia.

“President Xia, is it possible?”

“I’m sorry, I’m asking President Xia here.”

“Xiao Qiang, let’s be mature here.” President Xia finally intercedes, realizing that Xia Mo must be the person who has been trying to contact him while he was out of the country. He turns back to Xia Mo, who tries to explain why she would like a moment alone with him but Shen Qiang is not having any of it.

“Yin Xia Mo, I’m telling you. I don’t care what business you have, if President Xia contacts you or helps you in any way, then he is forcing me out of his company! Because, it is an insult to be connected to someone like you in any way! Why should I be polite to someone who only steps on others and uses them to get what she wants?!”

Insult… Only knows to use people… Steps on others…

Is this what he told Shen Qiang?! Unable to control herself, Xia Mo looks wildly at Luo Xi –

Who has also been staring at her this entire time, a complex play of emotions running across his face. The instant Luo Xi realizes that her attention is now directed at him though, he smiles softly and places a gentle hand on Shen Qiang’s shoulder.

“I haven’t eaten dinner yet, so I’m a bit hungry. Come with me?”

Giving one final death glare at Xia Mo, Shen Qiang follows Luo Xi, half-dragged, half-hugged by him. Watching the two walk away, Xia Mo feels her heart completely and wholly die.

“President Xia, I heard that the reason you left the country was to undergo treatment?” Ou Chen’s carefully blank gaze finally leaves Xia Mo, as if the previous encounter was a play that had nothing to do with him. Only when Luo Xi leaves, will he finally do what he needs to do.

“That’s right; you get older and your body stops listening to you.”

“Kidney infection…? You have a kidney infection?!”

Xia Mo cannot believe her ears as she sees her final hope slipping away from her. She can only agree now… can only agree…

As if from a far, faraway place, she hears a noise ringing at her… Numbly pulling out her cell phone from her purse, Xia Mo sees “Zhen En” on the screen and is instantly filled with panic!

“Xiao Cheng fainted!!!! Hurry back!!! The doctors are trying to save him right now! I’m scared!!! Xia Mo, I’m so scared!! Don’t leave me here by myself!!! Hurry back!!! I’m scared!!”

Xia Mo’s head is spinning, her throat is caught. It’s her, she’s the one who doomed Xiao Cheng… so selfish… she wouldn’t agree and now Xiao Cheng is dead… dead… dead… it’s her… she did it… it’s all her fault…

IT’S ALL HER FAULT!!!

In the middle of the party-filled room, Yin Xia Mo suddenly lets loose a hoarse cry and then rushes towards the exit. Running faster and faster… faster and faster… like a crazy person she runs out of the building!

A stunned Luo Xi stares at Xia Mo’s departing figure and he instinctively places his fork back down, getting up to chase after her when Shen Qiang stops him, drawing his attention to the now disappearing Ou Chen who had followed Xia Mo out.

Luo Xi stands there, numbed. This feeling of emptiness far surpasses any pain she had ever inflicted on him. Pain, but at least they were still together then. And hollowness now, as he feels his life completely shattering.

*******

When Luo Xi finally dashes out of the building after them, the night is dark – there are no stars, no wind and the rain steadily drips down onto him.

There’s no her… Can’t find her… She’s disappeared…

“Why were you so stupid?”

It’s her…

Is it her…

Luo Xi freezes, his heart beating wildly…

He was wrong! He was wrong! He shouldn’t have asked for so much! He shouldn’t have demanded that she be jealous! He shouldn’t have demanded that he be the only important person in her life… He knows he was wrong now…

Luo Xi blinks as he tries to find her in the darkness, breathing heavily…

As long as she gives him another chance… just one more chance…

He’ll never let her leave again…

The rain continues to fall. It is Pan Nan, holding out an umbrella as she walks towards him.

“Since you still like Xia Mo, then why did you cause all that gossip, pushing her away yourself?”

*******

Xia Mo sits shaking in the car, her hands tightly clutching her phone in a death grip. The rain from her hair drips down steadily onto her face. Zhen En had just called, informing her that Xiao Cheng is no longer in any immediate danger and to not worry, also apologizing profusely for freaking out earlier and overreacting.

Ou Chen steadily wipes the rain away from her face with a towel. She is like a wooden doll, unmoving and sitting still, so numb that she can no longer even feel the pain in her chest… So numb that she cannot feel anything at all.

“Didn’t you once say, that you would give up your own life for Yin Cheng…” Ou Chen continues to gently wipe Xia Mo’s face, his voice hoarse.

“… Marrying me… is it really worse than death?”

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