Inner Residence arc ー Chapter 17 (Part 2): Three Tenths The Past, Seven Tenths The Future
"There were altogether 107 people who escorted me to the fief. They were all imperial palace experts* personally selected by His Majesty. In addition, there were also Yu Zhengxun and Xie Zhaoying who took the initiative and insisted on sending me out of the frontier. We travelled towards the north the whole journey. By the time we reached the Ding mountain pass, there were only seventeen people remaining. Zhengxun was heavily injured and was forced to stay behind within the frontier to recuperate. But the actual danger was outside the frontier. The Zhao faction's assassination troops were secretly lying in ambush at the side of the road and waiting to put me to death. If I die within the frontier, they wouldn't be able to get away from being involved. If I die outside the frontier, they could simply incriminate Nation Liao's people falsely and wouldn't be related to it."
He took a deep breath and faintly said, "That day was only during late autumn but it was already winter outside the frontier. Grappling within the heavy snow of snowflakes swirling in the air and in pitch darkness would always have enemies where you can't finish killing and always have traps where you can't finish stepping on while the people beside you would decrease one by one. My sword was pasted with blood. As soon as the frigid wind blew, it froze into ice very quickly and when engaging in a battle of weapons, it shook and broke into pieces. I wasn't someone who spoke of defeat easily but even I also couldn’t refrain from thinking about the possibility of death. In the end, there was only Xie Zhaoying left by my side. Heh, Second Brother, Mentor was biased and had imparted an additional set of swordplay to him thus he had an excuse for me to go first. How could I willing to let my brother die for me? But it just had to be exactly at the most critical moment when the sword in my hand broke. Second Brother flew over and threw himself onto me to block a sword for me."
I held my breath immediately.
Xiao Xuan flashed a dismal smile at me. "Azure Dragon Broadsword, Mountain-cutting Hatchet, no matter how proficient Xie Number Two's swordplay was, he was merely a young man whose stature was still lacking. How could he endure it? From his left shoulder to his chest, his skin was split open and his flesh lacerated with his blood gushing out like a fountain. He simply mouthed 'Go'. Even when he died he still didn't close his eyes."
I couldn't control myself from trembling. I abruptly felt suffocated in my chest. "Your wound……That wound on your back……"
Xuan Xiao smiled as his hand stroked his shoulder. "That's right, it is the wound from that time. The broadsword penetrated his body and fiercely slashed a wound on my back. My whole body was covered with his blood and with the burden of his life, I used the last shred of my strength to flee forward. I thought that even if I fled one more step, I would also be able to face those people who had sacrificed their lives to protect me. I will always remember my whole life how I stepped on the snow cover which drowned my ankles and staggered as I walked forward step by step. After that, even when I fell down, I also had to use both my hands and legs to crawl forward. The person behind unhurriedly and methodically raised the broadsword. Just as he was waiting to let it fall, an arrow shot into his heart——"
"Who was it?" My voice was so sharp until even I myself couldn't recognize it. "Who was it that saved you?"
Xiao Xuan lowered his eyes. "It was Li Wenzhong(Lĭ Wénzhōng), General Li. Before me, it was him who received orders to station at and defend Xi Yao City. He had come to receive me. It just happened that he was worried about the weather changes and set off a day earlier. That's how he saw that scene of massacre. He drew the bow with an arrow and saved me."
I stood up slowly and felt a little dizzy. Everything was quiet in the dead of the night, yet I could hear the sounds of grapple which lingered in my ears. Xie Zhaoying, no no, Xiao Xuan's smile was full of deep pain. After it became brimming full, it overflowed and flowed onto my heart. My eyes abruptly turned sour and felt like crying.
He said, "That year, I was fourteen years old. I had yet to come of age but had already died once. After I woke up, I thoroughly became Prince Yan. That naive and reckless Sixth Imperial Palace from the inner palace had been buried in the snowfield along with Xie Zhaoying. I bore the burden of the lives of 108 people and that was only the beginning. In those next ten years, how many assassinations were there and how many people were sacrificed? I was originally not a cold-blooded person and I was also unwilling to become a cold-blooded person. I was continuing to live by stepping on other people's skeletons so I must live even better and definitely not disappoint those people. I remembered every single life very clearly and vowed that there would inevitably be a day when I would settle each and every score and calculate them back one by one."
"While Xie Zhaoying," His tone became soft. "When he sent me out of the frontier, he only told his family members that it was studying away from home. He no longer came back. Grand Tutor Xie aged ten years overnight yet couldn't tell anyone and even had to teach the son of that woman. Every year when I returned to the capital, I always had to take Xie Zhaoying's name. There's Little Prince Han who helped to cover up the loopholes in the lie. Thus, the matter of the Xie Family's second son whose whereabouts are uncertain due to visiting prostitutes actually became natural and logical. It's just that sometimes I would think, if his spirit were in heaven and sees the few of us trampling his reputation which was originally already not so good, I don't how furious he would become……"
There was a slight change in the tone of his voice. He immediately stopped and turned his head away. His shoulders sagged as if he was really bearing an invisible weight.
I couldn't refrain myself from walking over and reaching out my hand to gently hug him from behind and lean my head against his shoulder.
He trembled lightly for a moment.
I said, "Second Elder Brother, a man is willing to offer his life for a person who appreciates and understands him. Both you and he understand."
That night, we both didn't sleep.
I accompanied Xiao Xuan while sitting and heard him talk about some events in his past. Xiao Xuan was not a garrulous person, therefore he only spoke on the main points regarding his life in the army and also boasted about himself a little regarding how he bore hardships and steeled himself, gaining the soldiers' love, respect, trust and so on. After that, he also talked a lot about Xie Zhaoying's matters. Xie Zhaoying was straightforward and unruly, didn't like playing with words and only loved the sword. Grand Tutor Xie looked down on military men the most so he could only learn the skill in secret. That year, the four of them, Xiao Xuan, Xie Zhaoying, Yu Zhengxun and Han Yanyu happened to be classmates and young, unbridled and dissolute. In the palace and imperial academy, they often created trouble and were infamous as 'The Four Pests'.* Later on, after Xie Zhaoying passed away, he would take the risk to return from Xi Yao City to visit the Xie family members every year and show some filial piety in his stead.
*T/n: It can also refer to rats, flies, mosquitoes and sparrows
"Madam Xie didn't notice at all?"
"Madam Xie only treated it as Second Brother studying away from home and not returning. He was the second son and didn't need to undertake the family clan's great cause. The expectations for him weren't high."
I suddenly thought of something. "Did he mention about me before?"
Xiao Xuan cast a sidelong glance at me. "You were only a few years old then and a silly girl, why would he mention about you?"
"That's right too." I smiled. "It's just that came to my mind that he was my elder brother, yet I can only hear about his matters from others' mouth. He's just like a character from a story."
Xiao Xuan said, "Although Second Brother's whole life was brief, it was indeed a moving story."
I asked, "Where is he buried at?"
"At Xi Yao City. I constructed a memorial hall for him but couldn't crown his name and could only do it in the names of those soldiers who died from the battle at the frontier. I have vowed that that one day in the future, I will come back just and honorably and send him an elaborate funeral."
Xiao Xuan sighed. "It's really fast. It's already ten years."
Ten years of time. The reckless teenage boy from that year had grown into a reserved, intelligent and farsighted young man. However, there were still many grudges in between which had yet to be settled.
I changed the topic. "You have already married?"