MC File 2
"Why do you run away?"
Voice of Dawn decided to ignore [the fox] and did not answer (at all).
"The other day, the Lion, king of beasts, and the Eagle, king of birds, had a discussion. And they have decided that all animals shall stop killing other animals."
Voice of Dawn spoke as he looked far off into the distance, "There is a hound running up from over there!" When the fox heard that, he panicked and fled. "Why do you run away? Haven't all the animals stopped killing each other?" But the fox did not return......
The Dawn of World Peace
***
***
***
“Won’t you marry her or something?”
“You kidder! Iria and I are from different worlds (lit: social classes).” Uncle Rashid got red in the face and turned around. I asked a simple question:
"Because she's a test tube baby?"
"......" Uncle Rashid stopped his garden work, came up to me taking big strides and glared at me with his big eyes.
"Miss Katrine! Please don't say that again!" He had a powerfully serious face. "First of all, I'm a test tube baby myself!" I thought if that were so, then it had no connection to their social standing.
"Iria likes [you], Uncle Rashid......"
"I already have Kami. My forever complaining, none-too-easy-on-the-eyes, rough wife-"
Wouldn't Iria be a far more appealing woman than such a wife [as that]?
"-but she's my kind of woman [ALT: she matches me]."
White magnolias were blooming in the garden and a wonderful smell wafted through the air. "Men and women don't always do what we want them to do."
"I guess it's hard......"
"But Miss Katrine, please fall in love how you think you should, how you feel you should. You must not be untrue to your own heart! Being born from a test tube (and all), that's absolutely irrelevant!"
"O-okay......" I nodded in front of Uncle Rashid but I couldn't even imagine myself in love. Magnolias mean "love of nature." 227/2/22 I didn't understand love towards people but all the nature here in space, that I respected and loved its will to live 227/2/25. All of nature makes my life shine with my own thoughts/wishes.
"You resemble Master Quatre in the strangest ways......" Uncle Rashid was muttering something but I couldn't really catch it.
Two patients were admitted to Winner Hospital. One of them was a nice old lady named Marine [#10] Darlian and she affectionately always called me Relena. Every time she did that, I told her my name was Katrine, but Ms. Darlian didn't seem to listen.
"I was, a long time ago, a lady-in-waiting for [Mistress] Katerina...... that's your real mother, Relena."
"But I'm not Katerina, my name is Katrine...... and I'm also not Relena."
Ms. Darlian kept telling me to behave more like a lady.
"Ms. Darlian, do you want milk in your tea?"
"Yes, please. But Relena, good girls say 'Would you like some milk?'"
It seemed like this Relena was the dughter Ms. Darlian had raised. "Put on a skirt. It would certainly look good on you, Relena." I listened to what she told me. I loved seeing her smiling face. Tomboy that I was, I had to be on my best behaviour when I was with Ms. Darlian. And I took to calling myself watakushi [#11] instead of boku.
The other [patient] was a year older than me; her name was Stella. She was always asleep in bed. Stella, who had a chronic congenital disease in her heart and lungs, only smiled when I was with her, so I decided to be at her side as much as possible. Twice, I had seen Stella as she was in [the throes of great] pain. She cried out in misery, "It hurts...... it hurts......" She cried, screamed, coughed, threw up blood; she was in agony. "Please don't look at me... go away......"
Iria gave Stella some painkillers and that managed to settle her, but it seemed as though Stella hated that I had seen her [in such intense pain]. An invisible wall went up between us. From the next day, I wasn't privy to seeing her with a smile on her face. It was sad. But (it seemed like) there was nothing I could do about it. It wasn't like Stella wanted to be sick. We were equally blessed with life but [as] she lived a life [bedridden] and full of pain and I had lived the life of a (spoiled) tomboy, [our worlds] were just too different. That's what I thought. Why couldn't someone like me who hadn't the least handicap give freedom to Stella-- that was no wonder 228/2/3. Stella began to suffer from insomnia. She was afraid [to sleep] because when she closed her eyes, she concentrated on every little pain. Just like Iria had done for me when I was little, I [sat] by her side and read books aloud to her. Seems I got lucky and [was able] to get Stella's smile back a little and she was able to get some peaceful sleep. By keeping that up every night, my friendship with Stella mended.
"Thank you......" Stella thanked me politely in her gravelly voice. "Katrine, will you be my best friend?"
"Little old me?"
"Of course......"
Stella and I looked at each other. At some point, tears welled up in our eyes and the [tear]drops gently fell. We were so happy. And then we talked about all kinds of things. The flowers blooming in the garden, the fish jumping in the lake, family stuff.
"I heard that I have twenty nine sisters and one big brother...... but I haven't met any of them except for Iria."
"I have a father and a mother and I have a Big-Sister-of-the-Same-Name...... but I haven't met them either."
A big sister by the name name? I didn't know what that meant but I was happy knowing that Stella wasn't alone. But I wondered why she'd never met them. We thought stella was on the slow road to recover, perhaps because the drugs for her illness were taking effect. Despite that, six months later, Stella was agonized by intense pain. Not even painkillers had any effect anymore. Iria made me leave the sick room. There was nothing I could do. Iria commenced an emergency operation and didn't come home until morning. I read aloud all through the night. It was just me in the bedroom but I read as hard as I could while the tears streamed down my face. I couldn't help but be frustrated at my inability to do something. Even though my best friend Stella was in so much pain, all I could do was sit in my bed and read aloud. The next morning, though not as if my wished had been granted, it looked as though Iria's operation had been a success. Iria had done what's called 'regenerative treatment' whereby a new heart and lungs had been produced from Stella's cells and transplanted [into her]. However, in Stella's case, because of the congenital disease, it was only a matter of time before she'd get sick again.
"That's why I want you to stay with her, Katrine......"
"Okay."
Stella got better day by day. I was really happy. She [even] recovered enough to go to the same junior school as me. [It was] MC-0019, Stella was five and I was four. Outside the dome, the dust clouds were horrendous. [Sand] got in my eyes and I couldn't stop tearing up. I was probably [just] afraid of the outside world 229/1/14. Just then, Uncle Rashid came along; he have me a pair of goggles.
"These are the goggles of the Maganac leader." When I put on the goggles, it felt like courage bubbled up inside me.
MC-0022 Next Winter
***
That junior school was called the Saint Minerva Institute and, as I had expected, it was a school building inside a para-terraforming dome. The very first people who moved to Mars had built it and it was quite old. There was a small Mars Federation Naval port nearby and there was just enough noise to make it a hospitable school [#14]. Stella and I were transferred to the same class. Everyone else was older than us but we followed the curriculum [without any problems]. Studying wasn't so much fun as it was a duty to complete, (so) talking to my classmates was far more interesting. Everyone adored me because they thought I was little and cute. Stella's vocabulary was pretty small 233/1/11, nevertheless, everyone warmed up to her and we made several good friends. I loved gym class. But I thought it was a shame that Stella always had to watch (instead of participate). One time, Stella suddenly collapsed in a corner of the gym. I panicked, called Iria, and had her come immediately (to the gym). It wasn't [just] Iria that arrived, but a large rescue vessel, and it took Stella from the naval port to a central hospital in a big city. All Iria and I could do was see her off.
"Two weeks ago, Stella and her big-sister-with-the-same-name were caught in [some military] dispute and now [the big sister] is brain dead."
"Brain dead?"
"Long ago, they used to call it a 'vegetative state' ." Iria closed her eyes for the pain. "In order to save Stella, they'll have her big-sister-with-the-same-name internal organs given to Stella."
"So, Stella will get all better."
"Yes...... probably...... it's ironic, though. She was actually the 'spare'......" said Iria in a small, pained voice. I had no idea what she meant. "Stella's suffered a lot...... so this is a good thing."
Several months later, Stella returned. She looked [healthy] and was bursting with energy.
"Katrine! I'm all better! The air smells wonderful [alt: it's great to be alive]. The doctor even said it was alright to go to gym class!" Her smiling face shone like I had never seen it shine before. "And my father and mother are so nice! I'm happy!!
Dreams do come true.
At the time, I was happy on the outside but...... Since then, Stella hadn't returned to the Winner Hospital, instead, she commuted to school from her own home. I got that Stella's family was very wealthy and a chauffeur picked her up and dropped her off at school, and they had dozens of employees living with them. Before I realized it, a great gap had come between Stella and me. I often tried talking to her but there some kind of formalness [in the] atmosphere that made it difficult to approach her. It was thicker than the invisible wall from before, calling it a (sense of) alienation conveyed more exactly [what it felt like]. I suddenly noticed 232/3/15 that at lunch time, I often sat all by myself. One day, when I was walking through the halls, I heard several girls talking in one of the classrooms.
"I knew there was a reason her school record was so good."
"She skipped two years, didn't she?"
"Do you suppose she's a 'spare' after all?"
"No way, is it even okay for a 'spare' to go to school?"
"Her family is super rich so they can do whatever they want."
When I heard that, I thought they were talking about Stella.
"Hold it! When you put it that way......"
When I went into the classroom, I saw Stella standing in the middle of a ring of students talking with a smile on her face. The other girls avoided looking at me. Only Stella looked straight at me.
"How are you, Katrine?"
"Who were you talking about [just] now?"
"...... we were talking?"
Oh. They were talking about me. [For starters], I was the last daughter of the house of Winner and a test tube baby to boot. Since [that day], I was increasingly [and, ultimately, extremely] alienated from Stella and my classmates. I might have been Stella's [very] first real (lit: best) friend, but now I'd ended up somewhere around her thirtieth or fortieth. That wasn't a mistake [in and of itself]; as long as the sacrifice of a few [namely: me,] brought happiness to many. The whole thing would be over and done with if the minority [namely: me, again,] just accepted. Going to school became a bore. It was just a place to study. During lunch, I took to reading books in the library. I also tried reading books on history. Before Christ, Anno Domini, After Colony. I taught myself 233/1/9-1-< just how much the history of man consisted of a series of ups and downs. Gradually, I came to learn what the real word was. I felt dry 233/1/7. A 'spare' meant a 'clone' that the wealthy [ordered] at special medical institutions and were to serve as organ donors or 'spare parts' if the clone's owner ever became seriously ill. [It was] that [clone] which the men and women of the wealthy class called their "Little-brother (or sister)-with-the-same-name." However, in Stella's case, her big-sister-with-the-same-name had ended up in a vegetative state so instead of the big sister, it was the little sister, Stella, who received the lung and heart transplant and overcame her standing as a 'spare.' Until then, she hadn't lived with her family but now she didn't have to worry about it 233/2/8. She was physically healthy and had truly gained her 'freedom.' Wasn't that something to be happy about? It was the one thing I wanted most. After all, I wasn't so different (in standing) from a 'spare.' I decided to grin and bear it. A few days later, [instances of] unconcealed harassment increased. Nobody would talk to me, they graffitied the computer inside my desk or broke it; they hid my gym uniform. But I took it all in stride.
"Always with a pretty smile, eh...... Miss Katrine is such a bright [as in happy], good child."
That was how the teachers saw me. Before I realized it, I had begun thinking it was very important to make them feel as ease (about me). The atmosphere in class wasn't bad and as long as I didn't complain or cause a commotion, it was peaceful at the Saint Minerva Institute.
I endeavored not to pray for things. Not because I wanted to negate the existence of God, but because, simply, it's just scary to think of my prayers being granted-- to the point that it scared me. In truth, I've had impressions that there is a 'heart' to space and couldn't it be putting it's will into action? Stella's case might have been a coincidence, but even if [it wasn't], I had the feeling I ought not to wish for my own happiness.
One day, in the afternoon, I was had been getting ready to go home as I always did. My goggles, however, had been lost. Once again, someone had hidden them [just] to be mean to me. If I asked Stella and her friends, they'd probably just say they didn't know and as I didn't have any friends [of my own] to help me look for them, I had decided to give it up for a lost cause and go home. Outside the dome, there were enough dust clouds to make my eyes water. The tears rolled down my face. Frankly speaking, at the time, somewhere in my heart, I hated every person at that school. I probably even thought I wanted them dead/gone [#15].
Out of nowhere, a resistance army raising a cry for 'Anti-federalism' began an attack on the Mars Federal army's naval base. It was a surprise attack by a storm hovercraft and five Mars suits. The negligent Mars Federal army was put down instantly. I'll bet no one [ever] thought a naval port out in the sticks would be attacked. Nevertheless, the Federal army mobilized nearby bases and attempted a desperate counterattack. The students couldn't leave the school and were instructed to take refuge at the shelter on the school's grounds. I made for the school dome, but it was already in emergency lockdown [mode]. I looked up in amazement at the huge humanoid weapons that were closing in. Federal support troops arrived in the area, one after the other. Live ammo from the Mars suits exploded against the school's dome. The dome was easily destroyed and then, the missiles started coming. I couldn't tell if they were from the resistance or the Federation. The old school went up in flames. I was horror-struck. I honestly regretted that another of my wishes had come true. Slightly removed from the school [grounds] was the underground shelter and it, too, was taking hits.
Then, I heard the screaming.
Surely several students and instructors have died, I had thought. War's greatest fault was (probably) that people with no connection to the war [whatsoever] were murdered without any regard for their individual beliefs. I was resigned to accept continuing my poor excuse of a life 234/1/1< 2/1. I thought I had to help them. Even if I could only rescue a single precious life. I ran to the burning school grounds. Before my eyes, the school collapsed with a roaring thunder. Again, I felt acutely aware of my own powerlessness. I happened to look to my feet and there were my goggles. Although I'd hated the people at school for hiding them, I didn't want them to die. I regretted thinking even for a second that I had wanted them dead/gone. I picked up my goggles and ran to the battlefield. The resistance's five Mars suits were still firing and they were heading my way. Ahead of me, there was a Mars suit lying [on the ground]. I thought the machine had been hit and, being unable to move, had been abandoned. It might have some some weapons I could use. I wanted to help the people at the school somehow. That was my only thought as I opened the hatch to the cockpit. The simple security on the outer lock was [easily] broken. What surprised me was the pilot still inside. [He] was a young Federation soldier quailing in terror.
"No... I can't do it......" he was shaking. He had also wet himself. I felt sorry for him. When I looked at the internal display, I saw the energy gauge and accompanying weaponry was still battle-ready. "Can't...... I don't do it."
"Is it okay if I take your place?"
"Huh?"
I had never been in a Mars suit. But I couldn't think of any other way.
"Don't talk crazy, a girl like you......"
"Don't worry, I'll try." I got in the cockpit.
The young soldier spoke as he got out of the way, "Basically, this machine's programmed to respond somatically to me, it's not possible for someone else to operate it......"
I [used] the computer to clear all the pilot's recorded data, "There, now it'll be possible for me to operate [the suit]." Then I took a microchip from my pencil case and downloaded the image trance program. I selected 'Quatre Winner' from the several names listed. That [data] was very old left over combat data. I had copied from the Winner Hospital library. [Quatre Winner] could surely pilot a Mars suit without any trouble. That's what my intuition told me.
"We're going to move! Stand clear, please!" I put on my goggles and made the Mars suit stand up. Courage bubbled up [inside me]. "Let's go!" I turned to face the approaching resistance's Mars suits. The whole reason I was fighting in the first place was to get them away from the school. It seemed, however, that Quatre was skilled at hand-to-hand combat. I took uniquely suitable distance 235/2/6. My opponent seemed to be at a loss. That left a second's worth of an opening. I charged. Eluding the live bullets that were fired, I whipped out the beam saber and tore through the Mars suit holding a bazooka. I was afraid that the pilot had died. But as long as they were on the battlefield, they were supposed to be prepared to die.[.....] unlike everyone at the school.
"As if your life were more important than mine!" 236/1/3 I screamed as I turned to face the Mars suit coming up to attack me from behind and slashed it diagonally from one shoulder down under the other. "It's better not to fight!" Somewhere along the way, I'd picked up a second beam saber and held them at the ready and downed Mars suits that came at me from three directions. I was entranced. It hurt to breathe. I (cut off) the image trace program and pulled out the microchip. "......" When I took off the goggles, I knew tears streamed down my face. My chest, my heart, hurt. The disappearance of five souls was tough. I resigned myself [to the realization that] I could never go back to my regular life. I understood I could not return to school. After a while, Federation reinforcement troops came. Before [they got to me] I jumped down from the cockpit of the Mars suit, flitted over a pile of rubble and kept running away. According to the Federation, I was a perpetrator who had stolen and used a military-grade Mars suit. According to the resistance, I was a loathsome enemy who had killed five of their comrades. It was probably a contradiction. I felt that I had keep living for the people who had died [at my hands]. I kept running, several times along the way, I [had to] push my nearly breaking heart [to go on]. I wanted to see Iria. But after this, when I imagined how much trouble I'd caused, I couldn't contain myself. I was driven to want to go somewhere, anywhere, and [just] disappear. But, just one last time....
At home, a silver-haired, middle aged gentleman and a scholarly type man with long fringe were with Iria.
"Welcome home," Iria received me as she always had.
"Oh, so you're Katrine......" I immediately knew the bright, eloquent voice was that of my older brother Quatre. (I thought) I had come to live my life as I had thanks to this person's fighting style. And the five souls taken in the blink of an eye, that was his fault. "Yeah, you look like mother after all, don't you."
"To take out five Mars suits in your first battle, that's quite something." The scholarly type man spoke as he smirked, "She's the perfect [addition] to our numbers......"
"Disparage me or praise me, it makes not difference to me. I just simply [used] the image trace."
"That's true. But I think it's better if you don't use that toy anymore...... play with it too many times and you'll lose your [nerve (lit: preparedness)] and liability."
"...... nerve and liability?......" I hated myself [for] making excuses. I want to help the people at school. I want to eliminate war. Wasn't that what I was really supposed to be thinking.
"Katrine...... are you living how you want to live?"
"What about you, brother?"
"Finding that answer may lead to death...... but I think you'll find it, if you live."
That was probably it. It wasn't the conclusion that was necessary just now 236/3/7. What was important wasn't the result, but the process.
"Are you going to take me in, brother?" It was okay to handle my life (shabbily).
"If you'll have us......"
In space, my life was just a drop in the ocean. For the sake of the greater good, I had to serve.
"Pleased to meet your acquaintance......" This was the life given to me.
"Nice to meet you. Well then, I am currently going by the name Professor W."
"I'm Doktor..... you may call me Doktor T."
"[Time to] leave the nest," said Iria as she handed me the violin. "You are the only Katrine Wood Winner in the whole world......"
And I took pride in the fact that I didn't have any pride.
"If you ever get homesick, come back home anytime," tears streamed down Iria's face as she offered me [those] kind words.
MC-0022 Next Winter
***
A year had passed since I'd gone to stay at Chryse circus when I'd welcomed a youth called 'Nanashi' as a friend [comrade/teammate]. 'Nanashi' had sad eyes that had a coldness to them that spoke of how he had given up on the world. He seemed to be like me. I played my [best piece] 'Scheherazade' for him. When Doktor T offered 'a place to go home to,' he had selected that 'third path.' And 'Nanashi' had played 'Endless Waltz' on my violin (for me). The solitude in my heart somehow felt soothed. His gypsy style performance was funky-- no, it was cheery as much as it was anything else; it made me feel sad and nostalgic. When I was with 'Nanashi,' it felt as though my accursed fate [weren't mine alone], he let me forget the loneliness. He, however, probably didn't feel that way. My feelings were one-sided. If possible, I wanted to stay with him forever. But he had gone straight away to Earth with Catherine. We'd just met but there was a gaping hole in my heart (and the wind was blowing through). I got even better at playing 'Scheherazade.'
Not long after, I got a [call] from dear Iria.
"Katrine, I need a favor," the message said. I had cleared all the exercises and bored as I was, received permission from Professor W and Doktor T and headed directly to the Winner Hospital. The favor was visiting with Marine Darlian as she'd asked to be allowed to see her daughter 'Relena.'
"Oh, Relena Darlian!" I had only just now noticed. That (hard worker) for the Mars terraforming, that was Darlian's daughter. In retrospect, it's pretty obvious, but I hadn't imagined the mother of Relena, who was in the frozen capsule, was still alive. What's more, I couldn't believe that the lady (herself) had been awakened 239/1/1< 2/1.
"How have you been, Relena?" Ms. Darlian was still calling me [Relena].
"I am Katrine, Ms. Darlian......"
"My legs have become completely weak......" she was using a wheechair to move around but the lady had lost none of her elegance. I'd heard from Iria that it was probably impossible for her to walk on her own two feet again. Due to her long hospitalization and Mars' [weak] gravity, her muscles and bones had been weakened. When the mask-clad Relena announced her candidacy in the Mars Federation's presidential election, I and everyone else had been skeptical. But when I heard her pledge that she'd take off the mask "when the election was over", I thought she might be the real deal. In fact, the unmasked face was unmistakably Relena ([as] I confirmed via the history records). Nevertheless, that didn't pacify the skeptics. It's possible to perfectly replicate [someone's looks] with plastic surgery and I couldn't ignore the possibility that she was a clone. But I thought there was no fooling the mother who had raised [her]. In my case, although Ms. Darlian had mistaken [me for Relena], there was (that much more) unrest in (the pretenders [meaning Katrine's]) that the truth couldn't be concealed. I accompanied Ms. Darlian to the Mars Federation capital, Relena City. That day, an inauguration parade was being held on a grand scale. Ms. Darlian and I leisurely watched the spectacle of Relena's limousine passing by. A few meters ahead, the limousine suddenly came to a halt.
"Mother!" Disentangling [herself] from the SP who [tried to] hold her back, President Relena ran as a little girl [might run to us]. "Mother! It's Relena!"
It was then that, right before my eyes, a miracle occurred.
"Relena!" Ms. Darlian got up from her wheelchair. The young girl and the mother who raised her met gain after so many decades; they had tears running down their faces as they embraced. "I'm sorry, Relena...... I've caused you painful thoughts (just for my sake)."
"No, mother...... I'm delighted to get to see you again, grateful from the bottom of my heart."
I just stood by watching in amazement. Yet intuition told me their innocence and their tears were genuine. There could be no mistake: they were Marine Darlian and Relena Darlian. And a feeling I had forgotten long ago came back to me. That is, the memory of Iria hold me like (that). Feeling loved. Loving. I had utterly forgotten. Just for that, I was grateful to the two Darlians.
That evening, I was invited to the presidential residence. The cuisine that the greatest person on Mars treated me to was remarkably (frugal) and homemade.
"Thank you.... for bringing [my] mother."
"Not at all, I should be the one to thank you." Besides Ms. Darlian, a sister and brother slightly older than me were also seated at the table.
They were Relena's nephew and niece; I was told they were twins. The older sister with beautiful long blond hair was called Naina Peacecraft, the quiet younger brother with black hair was named Milu Peacecraft. They didn't look much alike, so they were probably fraternal twins [#15.5]. Naina looked at me sharply and asked this question:
"Katrine Wood Winner...... Madame is the daughter of a prestigious family, and you seem to be crossing many a dangerous bridge, yes?" It appeared that [she] had looked into my past.
"For the record, I understand [my actions] to be volunteer activities...... 240/2/4-5." As soon as I'd said that, Milu began to chuckle.
"Well, if we're talking about dangerous bridges, isn't President Relena's 'total pacifism' far more dangerous?" He blurted and [tried] hard to hide [his laughing?] 240/2/11.
"It's not funny, Milu!" Naina scolded her [quietly/secretly] laughing brother. "What you just said is inexcusable...... how dare you group her terrorist acts with Miss Relena's sublime ideals!"
"Naina, what Katrine says is reasonable. I would enjoy hearing [her] opinion."
A small smile appeared on President Relean's face.
"Well then, I'll tell you. If the Mars Federation is going to be totally pacifistic, then it's absolutely necessary to have (secret) backing from the United Earth Sphere!"
"I cannot accept that," I was told bluntly, "The Mars Federation has [seceded] from Earth...... you'd do well to remember that."
"But for the sake of maintaining peace!"
"Do you mean to say secret troubleshooting organizations like the 'Preventers' are necessary?"
[She] was cut off by Naina, "The real problem is that [having Preventers] isn't really total pacifism, right?"
The young president sighed deeply, "I believe my old friends are even now continuing on that path," tears welled up in her eyes, "It's like they said long ago: my life is cheap and it's sewer rats like us who fight......" her voice trembled, "but what about their happiness? Surely it can't be painful to keep living in a world of dark shadows [#16]. "I believe a truly perfect peace has no meaning until existences like theirs are gone."
There's no mistaking the morality of sacrificing a minority for the [benefit] of the majority. But it's necessary to have the sacrificing minority agree.
"I agree. If it makes everyone happy, I'll do whatever it takes......" I took pride in never having had 'pride.'
"Step into the light, Katrine...... how many differences are there between you and me? You don't need to think any more painful thoughts......"
"...... but I......"
Milu flitted before me and my voice caught hesitantly in my throat. An angelic smile crossed his face and he [put] both hands to my face.
"......what?" I thought my cheeks were surely turning red.
Milu took off my glasses, "See, just as I thought......" [He] looked intently at me. "You're eyes are more beautiful than the Earth [itself]," and he pressed a violin into my hands.
"......"
Milu didn't say anything more. He seemed pretty much like a silent [type of guy]. It was embarrassing but-- no, because it was embarrassing I started playing the violin. I played 'Ave Maria' in an improvisational style. Milu slowly [started to play] a flute and matched the melody I was playing. I was timid at first but gradually got bolder. I looked at his eyes. His gentle smile was the same. His warm look was dazzling. And the tone of taciturn Milu's flue was very telling. The performance, which was filled with colors, moved on and on, imploring us to follow. I played with all my heart to match the tempo. When the piece changed to minor, I suddenly remembered a feeling that was akin to being enveloped in gentle warmth. It felt exactly as though someone were calling out for me to follow. When I finally thought I'd caught up, he slowed the tempo and this time, it was like [having someone] pressing my back the way the flute now followed [my] violin phrasing. Now, he was telling me to take the lead. I screwed up the courage and took the lead. I ran my bow over the strings feeling embarrassed, like being made to dance in the nude. And yet I discovered a great up-lifiting of my spirit. Before I realized it, [I was feeling] the (pleasant) sensation that the freedom of playing straight from the heart [brought]. Suddenly, I realized Milu had stopped playing and was beaming at me. I had been performing solo. Improvising, I had mixed the melodies of Scheherazade and gypsy. I lost my embarrassment. I performed the solo as if to say "This is me." And next, I would [give] him the main melody. "I'm in your hands," I said with a jerk of my chin (and look from my eyes).
"Leave it to me," he said with a nod. Milu's solo continued for fourteen measures. How spirited was the beautiful sound [he made]. His upper register was particularly clear. His performance oozed with his pure/innocent personality. When that melody rose, he signaled me with his eyes. "This is the climax, play with me," he said with a wave of his flute. I accompanied him with my harmony. Milu gave me a little wink; this time, he took charge of the harmony and I played the melody. The tempo increased several times over but there was neither confusion nor a stutter in our performance. We repeated the melody again and again; it was like floating in a unique spiral until we reached the climax. When we reached the pinnacle, he deliberately fell into a slow temp and (made me) draw the melody of the Ave Maria out of thin air. I had a twinge of fatigue that was close to mild dizziness. Relena and Naina and Ms. Darlian applauded us with tears in their eyes. Milu was also clapping.
On second thought, it was really embarrassing. Milu extended his hand and so I shook it. It was warm (and warm). That duet had been my greatest performance. The night was exactly like a dream---
MC-0022 Next Winter
A virtual keyboard had already been set up. I performed the third movement of the War Sonata. The last th